lord of flies Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Alright folks, I got my hands on this game a little while back but there was some pesky legal bull**** that prevented me from posting about it! Fortunately, I remembered to sign my name incorrectly, so it doesn't matter one iota. Next time, make sure the person didn't sign their name "Mickey Mouse"! Ha ha ha! So I was in some kind of building as Mike Thorton, unarmed and doing the moonwalk. I ran around in circles at varying speeds to giggle at the animations for about... oh I don't know... three, four minutes? One of the nice folks from Obsidian told me to stop, though, so I did and got around to playing. A character with purple hair, a girl I think, was talking, but I was ignoring her because she's a DIRTY CAPITALIST PIG-DOG. I called up my old ex-Stasi buddy and we went out for drinks and killing in Moscow. The mission involved... getting something? Honestly, I wasn't paying attention. The plot was very so-so, in my professional opinion. Not enough anti-imperialism or worldwide revolution. I'd recommend you take a look at the possibility of altering your subtitles (and dialogue?) so that instead of the "United States of America," it reads "the United $nakes of Amerikkka." You know, give it a little oomph. Check out Monkey Smashes Heaven to see what I mean. Combat was all right, but Obsidian, you seriously need to make it so that you don't have all these silly weapons. I mean, honestly. I can't remember what it was called, but there's some doohickey that lets you throw a sonic device or something. I spent a good while trying to nail one of those mother****ers in the head with it, and when I finally did? IT DID NOTHING. Nice job, Obs. In conclusion, once these problems are corrected I think Alpha Protocol is GOTY 2011.
213374U Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 How dare you. Whatever has Mickey Mouse done to you? - When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.
Trenitay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 You are an idiot. Hey now, my mother is huge and don't you forget it. The drunk can't even get off the couch to make herself a vodka drenched sandwich. Octopus suck.
lord of flies Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 You are an idiot. Interesting theory, but I'll have to see some evidence before I take it on its face.
WILL THE ALMIGHTY Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 lord of flies is my new god. "Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
Trenitay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 You are an idiot. Interesting theory, but I'll have to see some evidence before I take it on its face. Even I could figure out sonic thingy. That's why you are an idiot Hey now, my mother is huge and don't you forget it. The drunk can't even get off the couch to make herself a vodka drenched sandwich. Octopus suck.
lord of flies Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 You are an idiot. Interesting theory, but I'll have to see some evidence before I take it on its face. Even I could figure out sonic thingy. That's why you are an idiot Oh really? Then how do you kill people with it? Riddle me that, "awsomeness."
Trenitay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 You lure them away and shoot them, genius. Hey now, my mother is huge and don't you forget it. The drunk can't even get off the couch to make herself a vodka drenched sandwich. Octopus suck.
Nepenthe Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 You are an idiot. I was thinking 'raving mad', but you might be onto something. You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions
lord of flies Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 (edited) You lure them away and shoot them, genius. Exactly, you can't kill them with it. Ooh, look, I can make noises which 'lure' them away, then shoot them. Or, I can just shoot them in the first place. Edited October 2, 2009 by lord of flies
Trenitay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 It works best if you're trying to be stealthy, I was thinking 'raving mad', but you might be onto something. I hadn't considered mad but I think idiot is more appropriate. Hey now, my mother is huge and don't you forget it. The drunk can't even get off the couch to make herself a vodka drenched sandwich. Octopus suck.
lord of flies Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 It works best if you're trying to be stealthy,You know what else works great if you're trying to be stealthy? Killing yourself. Wow, none of these pretend bad guys will see me now that I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger until the gun went click, since my character will never move out of a "safe" area wherein he is not vulnerable to attack.I hadn't considered mad but I think idiot is more appropriate.Color me amused by your pathetic antics, you little subservient proletariat.
Trenitay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 You know what else works great if you're trying to be stealthy? Killing yourself. Wow, none of these pretend bad guys will see me now that I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger until the gun went click, since my character will never move out of a "safe" area wherein he is not vulnerable to attack. Color me amused by your pathetic antics, you little subservient proletariat. Maybe if you could make some sense I'd respond seriously to your posts, you silly communist you. Hey now, my mother is huge and don't you forget it. The drunk can't even get off the couch to make herself a vodka drenched sandwich. Octopus suck.
lord of flies Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 You know what else works great if you're trying to be stealthy? Killing yourself. Wow, none of these pretend bad guys will see me now that I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger until the gun went click, since my character will never move out of a "safe" area wherein he is not vulnerable to attack. Color me amused by your pathetic antics, you little subservient proletariat. Maybe if you could make some sense I'd respond seriously to your posts, you silly communist you. What exactly didn't make sense about my post? Answer me that. Oh wait, you can't.
Trenitay Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I can't? Well, I'll try anyway. Stealthy and dead happen to be two very different things, silly. Hey now, my mother is huge and don't you forget it. The drunk can't even get off the couch to make herself a vodka drenched sandwich. Octopus suck.
AlphaProtocolForever Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I do have to say that one of the more hilarious ways to kill a person in Project Snowblind was with the ICEpick hackertool. Would be amusing if the sonic weapon had a similar method of killing someone.
Zoraptor Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I am very disappointed. Too much debate about noise arrow equivalents, itt. I want to know about the possibilities for global revolution, bringing down the system of global slavery laughably known as capitalism and establishment of utopian universal collectivism inherent in the game. I hope it's present, else I may have to reconsider my purchase.
AlphaProtocolForever Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I am very disappointed. Too much debate about noise arrow equivalents, itt. I want to know about the possibilities for global revolution, bringing down the system of global slavery laughably known as capitalism and establishment of utopian universal collectivism inherent in the game. I hope it's present, else I may have to reconsider my purchase. And a pony, dammit!
Oner Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 You are an idiot. I was thinking 'raving mad', but you might be onto something. xD Color me amused by your pathetic antics, you little subservient proletariat.proletariat robots? Lemme think a bit... ... Liberty! Oi, Liberty! I found ya a nemesis come get some! All right people, place your bets! OT: If you didn't pay attention to the story, how do you know it's "so-so" and it doesn't have enough anti-imperialism and whatnot? Maybe you just missed it. Giveaway list: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1DgyQFpOJvyNASt8A12ipyV_iwpLXg_yltGG5mffvSwo/edit?usp=sharing What is glass but tortured sand?Never forget! '12.01.13.
213374U Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 You know what else works great if you're trying to be stealthy? Killing yourself. Wow, none of these pretend bad guys will see me now that I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger until the gun went click, since my character will never move out of a "safe" area wherein he is not vulnerable to attack.I hear it also renders you totally impervious to attack - you can't be killed after that. Dude, stop posting winner strategies. I'd like the game to have some challenge when I get it! - When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.
Rostere Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Ok, so maybe you can't play Alpha Protocol as a communist. But you style Mike Thorton with communist facial hair? "Well, overkill is my middle name. And my last name. And all of my other names as well!"
Zoraptor Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Are you sure you cannot play a communist? I checked my copy of Socialist Worker and its preview shows a screenshot with the dialogue stances suave, professional, extreeeeme and Marxist available.
Purkake Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 (edited) All this communist talk reminds me of the Penny Arcade "Paint the line" arc. Edited October 3, 2009 by Purkake
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