So I found out about something

[alanschu]

How much do the ends justify the means?

 

I had a feeling that my roommate was telling other people the stuff I told him in confidence. So I ended up creating a bit of a ruse with some acquaintances, and basically acted all weird to a larger group of friends.

 

 

To be somewhat fair, the ruse was quite plausible (the girl trouble I had in like September last year), and I included my roommate in my discussions.

 

So some people asked some questions, which went back to him. Apparently he has no issues telling HER the stuff that I say to HIM. So basically not only was I right that he betrayed my trust, he betrayed it directly to the person that I was talking to him about. I found this out through MY despicable act by checking his email this morning.

 

 

So while there's the part of me that knows that I shouldn't have checked his outlook this morning because that's deceitful, I can't help but feel justified since it turns out I was right.

 

 

 

I haven't told him this, but I decided today to move back home with my parents until I can find my own place to live.

[Gfted1]

Did he just leave his email open on his PC or did you start it up?

Edited July 21, 2009 by Gfted1

[alanschu]

Outlook was open on his desktop.

 

 

I'm not really trying to excuse my actions, I made my decision and clearly there are giant trust issues between us. Especially since he was also talking **** about me in the email to her.

 

But yeah, just thought it was interesting.

[Gfted1]

Hmm, thats a tough one. Personally, Im big on self preservation so if I think someone is screwing me then Ive got no problem doing whatever is necessary to make sure I dont get screwed. So, IMO, while your actions were a disgusting violation of trust, you were justified. Now go format his "C" drive.

Edited July 21, 2009 by Gfted1

[Kaftan Barlast]

You had probable cause, you did the right hing. Most people would have done the same thing. If someone if pulling something sneaky on you, you have to sneak right back.

 

 

Its like, if someone in the dorm is stealing from the fridge, its alright to leave some laxative-prepared bait out to punish and deter them.

[alanschu]

Haha maybe that's how my subconscious is taking it.

 

I expected to feel worse, but really don't since it seems I was correct in my assumptions. I wonder how I'd have felt if it turns out I was wrong haha.

[Aristes]

Yeah, it was a despicable act, but it's better than beating him several times with a bat.

[Oner]

You had probable cause, you did the right hing. Most people would have done the same thing. If someone if pulling something sneaky on you, you have to sneak right back.

+1

 

Its like, if someone in the dorm is stealing from the fridge, its alright to leave some laxative-prepared bait out to punish and deter them.

Which was exactly what a relative of mine did at the university he was teaching at. And he locked the toilet doors too.

[alanschu]

Yeah, it was a despicable act, but it's better than beating him several times with a bat.

 

 

I had considered that actually

[Pope]

I had a similar experience a few years ago, back when I was still studying Law. At the end of our third year, my roommate (whom I considered a friend at the time) was all bragging about his incredible results, especially when compared to mine. After a while though, I started noticing some holes in his story. So I went detective on his ass. And I too felt justified in the end, since it turned out he had actually flunked that year, but being so obsessed with his image he'd lied to everyone. I wouldn't even have cared if he hadn't made me look bad in doing so. I told the truth to all of our friends, but we never told him that we knew. He was slowly expelled from our group without ever realizing why. Served him right.

[theslug]

Maybe you deserved it for being a pansy? Despicable act? I hope that's sarcasm.

 

Either way I would certainly say you were justified. Breaching personal contracts is completely legit if they are guilty, if not, then you're just a friendless ahole which is a small penance since most friends suck so really you haven't lost anything valuable.

 

Have you confronted this guy yet? And what exactly did he say about you because it sounds like them be fighting words.

[alanschu]

Meh, I certainly don't consider sneaking behind my roommate's (and friend's) back to be much else than a despicable thing to do. I'm okay with it

 

 

 

I haven't confronted him yet, as I just found out today before heading out to work.

 

 

In a personal email (not to her obviously) I mentioned that things seemed to be getting more and more awkward around her, so I was deleting her from my life (which actually isn't that far from the truth, things did seem to be getting progressively awkward around her). So I canceled some upcoming plans, namely my attendance at a Star Wars Marathon and being able to be a sub for beach volleyball. She sent my roommate an email saying that I was acting weird and stuff, and he basically told her why. It wasn't quite full disclosure, but acknowledging to her that the decisions that I make are because of her crosses the line as far as I'm concerned.

 

In this email, he also made some comments to her about how he should tell me to just get over it since it's been almost a year (which is probably a fair statement haha. I don't remember the exact words. He either said he has [which he hasn't] or he will [which I doubt]).

 

There was other stuff in there that I don't really remember. I didn't have much time to dwell over the email as I had to get to work.

Edited July 21, 2009 by alanschu

[Gfted1]

Ill bet you 5 Loonies that hes trying to hit it.

[alanschu]

I used to think so to be honest. I am pretty sure he was part of the rumour mongering from god knows how long ago (like two halloweens ago). I know he used to be bitchy about the fact that I'd spend time with her. I just assumed he was jealous because I wasn't doing stuff with him.

 

Though he has a girlfriend now (for about the past 6 months or so).

 

 

 

EDIT: Oh, I think I remember what it was now. I believe he was bitching to her that he is sick of me bringing it up, even though he's given me no indication that he'd rather I not mention it to him.

Edited July 21, 2009 by alanschu

[Hurlshort]

Bummer he is a roommate, it's best to distance yourself from these types.

[Walsingham]

There are three things you can do with a leak:

 

1) plug it

2) Remove it from your affairs

3) feed it selected information

 

If i were you, seriously, I'd save yourself the trouble of moving out by feeding him information with is either oddly flattering or will serve to allow you to discredit him later. Discrediting him later would serve the dual purpose of calling into question everything he's leaked already!

[alanschu]

Haha, i think that that might be tricky given I have no assurances of what he does or does not leak.

[Guest PoziomyPion]

My god I hate when people act like your roommate. I can only say I had similiar friends I shared a flat with. You did just right by checking his e-mail. I would also confront him about that and give something else in return, like when you will be leaving the apartment you two share for good, open the fridge(make sure he will be away) and let him have all the fun with consequences of your act. I myself didn't pay my part of rent. It felt great but remember : revenge is best served cold.

[Walsingham]

I should be clear: I don't agree with your having read his email. You're not Dr Quincy. You don't have magic rights to go doing stuff like that. I mean, what if you'd been wrong? Then YOU'D be the arsehole.

 

If you don't know what kinds of information he's leaking then create some different kinds of information and release them to him. Simple.

[Hell Kitty]

Slash his tires. Or his tendons.

[Walsingham]

Slash his tires. Or his tendons.

 

...And risk jail or public scandal. That would be the action of the homeless, lifeless thug.

[alanschu]

Agreed. That only sounds like something that would be fun to do, but I wouldn't really want to deal with the consequences of it haha.

[Walsingham]

Sorry. I was a little affected on Saturday when an elderly urban savage informed me that he intended to stab me. I am pleased to say that I informed him in turn that having been stabbed before and while I believed him in earnest, I was not in the least scared of his succeeding. This was probably a mistake in provoking his anger, but I believe i correctly judged his principle intent of causing fear and he buggered off.

[Gfted1]

Lol. What could have have possibly done to provoke an old man into stabbing you? Also, stay out of ghettos.

[Maria Caliban]

I