Romantic drivel

[kirottu]

I

[Checkpoint]

That you are. But you, on the other hand, live at least on the other side of the Baltic Sea.

[Pidesco]

I sense a hawt hookup on Silja Line.

[thepixiesrock]

http://www.nedroid.com/showimage.html?Imag...gisterrible.JPG

 

Hey look, it's me

[samm]

It's totally off topic, so sorry, but it fits pixie's comic so nicely... beware of rainbows in the yard!

[Guest The Architect]

[Walsingham]

I'm an outspoken proponent of drinking to forget. I once got so drunk to forget that not only did I forget, but my friends who were with me maintain I couldn't even explain it to them. On the way home from the club afterwards I charged a huddle of rats that were nearly two foot long, armed only with a bottle of water. They ran in terror.

 

What were we talking about?

[Checkpoint]

Actually I'm kind of repulsed by the idea of drowning my sorrows in booze, because booze intensifies your emotions. If you sit there with a bunch of ****ed up emotions, why make them stronger?

[mkreku]

It's the only time a man is allowed to cry.

[Walsingham]

Actually I'm kind of repulsed by the idea of drowning my sorrows in booze, because booze intensifies your emotions. If you sit there with a bunch of ****ed up emotions, why make them stronger?

 

 

Sometimes you have to let emotions burn themselves out, rather than harbour them. Or do I mean let the wound bleed clean? Smething like that.

 

It's like rage. You can't expect rage to ever leave you unless you break some stuff of one kind or another.

[Checkpoint]

Oh I'm not afraid of confronting my pain. I've rather been adamant to feel the pain rather than try to soothe it, but opening a bottle of vodka and getting smashed while staring into space would just make me feel super pathetic. I've been out drinking with friends and so on lately, and I feel that it's both good and bad. Good because I get to do stuff and hang out, but also bad because the booze eventually makes me some sort of party pooper.

Edited September 9, 2008 by Checkpoint

[Walsingham]

Could be you need good ale, rather than spirits?

[SirPetrakus]

I feel kinda sorry for him. Sure, they might end up married and live happily ever after. It just doesn't seem so likely.

 

What eats me up is that we have gone through so much together; I have a billion great memories from living in Barcelona with her so she's in virtually all of those memories, she has made me feel as though I was the one true love in her life and she wanted to build a family with me, she said when we broke up that there is so much that can exist only between the two of us and that it hurts so damn much that we have to give that up, she said that she wanted it to work out with between us so damn bad. And the week after our break-up she meets a friend at a party and she's all "well, this is a cute guy, let's see if he's the one!" And now they're happily in love, and this is how things have gone down with all of her boyfriends.

 

It actually disgusts me a bit. Another thing that disgusts me is that her friends must have known that this would happen the whole time and I had no idea. They must have been like "oh well, who is she with now?" (and yes, that was approximately a couple of weeks after her previous break-up as well, surprise surprise) and wondered how long that would last, and then when we broke up they must have gone "oh well, that was expected I guess" and then they learn that she has someone new and the whole process starts over again. I know, because I have a female friend who is exactly like my ex, and I know what I'm thinking every time she breaks up with her boyfriend and has someone new within weeks.

 

It hurts to feel so diminished, replaceable and fooled.

 

CP, what are you talking about? You've enjoyed your time with her (your words not mine) and instead of being happy for having the memories you're gonna rest there and cry it all out? You've had a better chance at happiness than most people, just because she won't be a part of it doesn't mean life has ended. Just like she moved on, so should you and if she is as bad as you say, finding a better one won't be that hard. Life is a string of memories, memories of friends and family and loved ones and places, don't let one bad memory foreshadow the happiness within your time together.

 

In my life I've had a few women, some I was madly in love with and some hurt me deeply. Usually for a few days after that I wasn't in the best of moods, but I can't say I would do things differently or that I hate them for what they were, I remember the good times and the things we did together and that's how I like to remember them and everyone else.

 

Maybe I never had what you and her had, so I may not have been hurt as bad as you but will you let a breakup bring you down? Now if you'll excuse me, Oprah is starting

[Checkpoint]

I feel kinda sorry for him. Sure, they might end up married and live happily ever after. It just doesn't seem so likely.

 

What eats me up is that we have gone through so much together; I have a billion great memories from living in Barcelona with her so she's in virtually all of those memories, she has made me feel as though I was the one true love in her life and she wanted to build a family with me, she said when we broke up that there is so much that can exist only between the two of us and that it hurts so damn much that we have to give that up, she said that she wanted it to work out with between us so damn bad. And the week after our break-up she meets a friend at a party and she's all "well, this is a cute guy, let's see if he's the one!" And now they're happily in love, and this is how things have gone down with all of her boyfriends.

 

It actually disgusts me a bit. Another thing that disgusts me is that her friends must have known that this would happen the whole time and I had no idea. They must have been like "oh well, who is she with now?" (and yes, that was approximately a couple of weeks after her previous break-up as well, surprise surprise) and wondered how long that would last, and then when we broke up they must have gone "oh well, that was expected I guess" and then they learn that she has someone new and the whole process starts over again. I know, because I have a female friend who is exactly like my ex, and I know what I'm thinking every time she breaks up with her boyfriend and has someone new within weeks.

 

It hurts to feel so diminished, replaceable and fooled.

 

CP, what are you talking about? You've enjoyed your time with her (your words not mine) and instead of being happy for having the memories you're gonna rest there and cry it all out? You've had a better chance at happiness than most people, just because she won't be a part of it doesn't mean life has ended. Just like she moved on, so should you and if she is as bad as you say, finding a better one won't be that hard. Life is a string of memories, memories of friends and family and loved ones and places, don't let one bad memory foreshadow the happiness within your time together.

 

In my life I've had a few women, some I was madly in love with and some hurt me deeply. Usually for a few days after that I wasn't in the best of moods, but I can't say I would do things differently or that I hate them for what they were, I remember the good times and the things we did together and that's how I like to remember them and everyone else.

 

Maybe I never had what you and her had, so I may not have been hurt as bad as you but will you let a breakup bring you down? Now if you'll excuse me, Oprah is starting

No, the problem is that I'm sitting here feeling miserable while she starts dating someone else immediately, and that that in fact is what she always does (I mean, these things happen, but with her it's how she actually functions as a human being). That means that my feelings about our relationship are incredibly reduced, because I feel as though she was in love with love rather than with me. Why would she have started her relationship with me mere weeks after her previous one and done the same after our relationship, and apparently done that her whole life? It's as though once she's been in a relationship where she no longer feels the passion anymore for a few months she starts craving it again, and there is no remorse from the break-up. She just can't help herself but immediately falls in love with love again. It's like a recurring rebound thing only she has this semi-sociopathic ability not to do it out of comfort, but out of new passion.

 

You know, I just feel as though she never truly loved me, and that is what makes those memories tarnished and painful. They weren't real somehow. That's all.

[Guest The Architect]

From a neutral perspective, Checkpoint, it really sounds like you're in love with somebody who's a complete whore who just wants to **** attractive guys, but who has a nice personality, but can't settle down. So the problem is not you, or the girls persona, it's just her inability to devote herself to a guy and stay on ship rather than jump off ship in pursuit of the next stud she can find. And that sucks for you. Maybe chemicals are a problem after all. She might just have high oestrogen levels or something. Anyway I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you.

[kirottu]

It's the only time a man is allowed to cry.

 

You

[Guest The Architect]

Especially when it's from Dark Raven.

 

Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything.

 

Tale told me.

Edited September 9, 2008 by The Architect

[Gfted1]

No, the problem is that I'm sitting here feeling miserable while she starts dating someone else immediately, and that that in fact is what she always does (I mean, these things happen, but with her it's how she actually functions as a human being). That means that my feelings about our relationship are incredibly reduced, because I feel as though she was in love with love rather than with me. Why would she have started her relationship with me mere weeks after her previous one and done the same after our relationship, and apparently done that her whole life? It's as though once she's been in a relationship where she no longer feels the passion anymore for a few months she starts craving it again, and there is no remorse from the break-up. She just can't help herself but immediately falls in love with love again. It's like a recurring rebound thing only she has this semi-sociopathic ability not to do it out of comfort, but out of new passion.

 

You know, I just feel as though she never truly loved me, and that is what makes those memories tarnished and painful. They weren't real somehow. That's all.

 

 

If it makes you feel any better, IMO, she not "in love with being in love" and is instead terrified of being alone. Thats why she bounces from one relationship to the next without coming up for air.

[Checkpoint]

From a neutral perspective, Checkpoint, it really sounds like you're in love with somebody who's a complete whore who just wants to **** attractive guys, but who has a nice personality, but can't settle down. So the problem is not you, or the girls persona, it's just her inability to devote herself to a guy and stay on ship rather than jump off ship in pursuit of the next stud she can find. And that sucks for you. Maybe chemicals are a problem after all. She might just have high oestrogen levels or something. Anyway I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you.

Actually, if you want to put it crassly, I think you're right. But the thing is that she also can't have sex without the notion of love. She never even makes out with a stranger in a bar; she needs to have some sort of fuzzy feelings and familiarity there. So there's no surprise she knew this new guy from before.

 

But that's also precisely it: she's madly in love with love. She's in love with passion. She was never in love with me, but with the idea of a beautiful fairytale romance. Once that prospect started looking uninteresting she had no problems moving on from me, because it wasn't me it was all about. It was about her. (Which was more or less her former boyfriend's take the other week as well.)

 

And that is also why she immediately falls in love again. She doesn't mourn me, but our relationship, and why mourn old love when you can have it all again? Cue the next Mr. Perfect and start the carousel for another round of romance. What annoys me is that she's trying to sound so mature and know-it-all about it (almost to the point of being berating and degrading of me) when in fact all she does is contradict herself and even lie. And again I think she does these things more for her own sake than mine, as if she's just trying to tell herself she's not doing the exact same mistake all over again.

 

It just sucks to still have feelings left for her deep inside, because me, I loved her. I'm her total opposite, because I have a really hard time falling in love with people and I am scared stiff of entering a relationship without feeling that she's totally right for me. For me everything between us evolved into something deeper - something she at least appears to be unable to feel - and all that feels very false now. That's what confuses me and keeps me from being able to move on. My brain has most of this stuff figured out, but my heart isn't so quick to catch on.

 

No, the problem is that I'm sitting here feeling miserable while she starts dating someone else immediately, and that that in fact is what she always does (I mean, these things happen, but with her it's how she actually functions as a human being). That means that my feelings about our relationship are incredibly reduced, because I feel as though she was in love with love rather than with me. Why would she have started her relationship with me mere weeks after her previous one and done the same after our relationship, and apparently done that her whole life? It's as though once she's been in a relationship where she no longer feels the passion anymore for a few months she starts craving it again, and there is no remorse from the break-up. She just can't help herself but immediately falls in love with love again. It's like a recurring rebound thing only she has this semi-sociopathic ability not to do it out of comfort, but out of new passion.

 

You know, I just feel as though she never truly loved me, and that is what makes those memories tarnished and painful. They weren't real somehow. That's all.

 

 

If it makes you feel any better, IMO, she not "in love with being in love" and is instead terrified of being alone. Thats why she bounces from one relationship to the next without coming up for air.

I think that's partially true, but I still do believe she's in love with love and passion. The female friend I talked about who also jumps from relationship to relationship as though they where ice floes, she appears to do it more out of fear of loneliness (because some of the blokes she's dug up, you know...).

Edited September 9, 2008 by Checkpoint

[Guest The Architect]

I'm sorry about how insensitive I was, especially considering we're talking about a girl who you haven't moved on from, but like you said, it's not just about the sex, it's the intimacy that comes in relationships.

 

And to put it in my traditionally tactless sense, what she's doing sounds incredibly selfish and inconsiderate, just like my posts are! As if you and these guys she's been with are just tools to cater her ego, in her case her addiction for sex/passion/love. In other words for her it's not a case of "I love you because I love you" rather it's "I love you because you love me."

 

It's almost akin to the situation with your other female friends jumping from guy to guy situation.

[Checkpoint]

I'm sorry about how insensitive I was, especially considering we're talking about a girl who you haven't moved on from, but like you said, it's not just about the sex, it's the intimacy that comes in relationships.

 

And to put it in my traditionally tactless sense, what she's doing sounds incredibly selfish and inconsiderate, just like my posts are! As if you and these guys she's been with are just tools to cater her ego, in her case her addiction for sex/passion/love. In other words for her it's not a case of "I love you because I love you" rather it's "I love you because you love me."

 

It's almost akin to the situation with your other female friends jumping from guy to guy situation.

Yes. Like I said about the other former boyfriend of hers, he could describe his own experience with her and what he has observed since and it was exactly what I felt I'd experienced as well. Once the passion wears off she tries to repair everything, but the awkward thing is that she only seems to do it for herself. You, on the other hand, is only manipulated into thinking you're doing something wrong because she just doesn't love you as much anymore. 99% of the time that you want to be close to her she pushes you away. And she uses lines like "I'm just not that into sex" when in fact she was very "into sex" less than a year ago. And that sort of stuff.

 

Manipulation. You're doing something wrong or she's suddenly realised that she has this personality trait that makes you incompatible or somesuch. And eventually one of you breaks up. This time it was actually me more than her. Which I need to keep reminding myself.

[alanschu]

The thing that ****ing pisses me off the most was that before things got too close, I considered this woman to be my best friend and confidant. And I have a lot of **** going on in my life right now that has me majorly in the dumps (part of the reason why I dumped everything on here, since I needed to get **** off my chest), and the one person in my life I feel comfortable fully talking with honestly about these issues, can't/won't. I don't press the issues because I know she doesn't want me to, but it just makes me that much more ****ing bitter and angry at all the **** that's going on right now.

[Checkpoint]

I'm sorry Allan. I know exactly what you mean by needing to vent and get all that stuff off your chest, so I mean, don't hesitate to talk about it here. You don't have to talk about everything if you don't want to; you can fill in the blanks as you go along. At least I will be reading it.

[taks]

I'm an outspoken proponent of drinking to forget. I once got so drunk to forget that not only did I forget, but my friends who were with me maintain I couldn't even explain it to them. On the way home from the club afterwards I charged a huddle of rats that were nearly two foot long, armed only with a bottle of water. They ran in terror.

 

What were we talking about?

exactly. btw, now that i'm on zoloft, i forget just about everything, even when i've only had a small amount (relatively speaking) to drink. it is very weird.

 

^samm: "but now it is happening now." arrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!

 

taks

[Shryke]

i'm kinda worried

 

i have this friend you see, and she's been seeing this guy for about a year now. he's a bit younger than her, and can be a bit immature and foolish at times, but generally he's a pretty good dude

 

he's a bit of a metalhead, and she's more of a goth. she gets on fine with all the metalheads, but he really feels quite uncomfortable around the goths and doesn't like being around them

so sometimes when i go to partys and shows with the goths, she really wants to come, but doesn't want him to feel uncomfortable, so she wants to go with me instead. now i got no problems with that, but i don't know what he thinks about me taking his girlfriend out to parties without him

 

i don't really want him to feel like i'm gonna make a move on her or anything, coz it just wouldn't happen. i have a personal rule to never do that sorta thing to mates. what i'm worried about is her

she seems happy enough with him, but from time to time i get the feeling as if she'd prefer to be with me or something. now that may sound pretty vain, but look at the evidence

- once when she was drunk she told me quite blatantly that she thought i was hot and that if she wasn't with him she would've made a move on me by now

- last time i went round to her place for drinks she insisted we go out to the beach, and once there she kept clinging to me and holding my hand (it was fairly cold though)

- she's told me on a few different occasions that she has much more fun with me than him, and wishes he'd lighten up a bit and be more like me

 

she's a mate and she's quite cute, and heaps of fun to hang out with

i don't quite know how to approach the subject with her though