Zombie survival

[Kor Qel Droma]

Real men kill zombies with chainsaws. And when they rough it, it's a combination of hockey skates and kicks to the head.

[Guest The Architect]

That's the Canadian way of killing a zombie. The West Aussie way is using a chainsaw then embedding a hardwood hard barb spear into their head, if they've still got one.

[Humodour]

Really? In NSW we use guns to kill zombies.

[Musopticon?]

I work on a graveyard. Now, that raises several questions on the likability of my survival, should the dead walk the earth, or, as people in the know like to call it, When the **** Hits the Fan or WtSHtF(cf. hand of god event, disease walkers). None of these questions have positive answers. The mere fact that the graveyard is an old army one and is in the middle of the city should be a fair warning for anyone interested on remaining on this earth relatively alive and breathing.

 

However, there is a a sizable storage of bladed gardening tools, electric cutters and the like in the premises, so armament should not be a problem. Another good thing is a chapel with basement access and blockable loft stairway, both of which could be used (either) as bunkers (or deathtraps). Furthermore, there's an army office nearby, which, naturally, has a small armory. It's not accessible to just anyone of course, but in the event of WtSHtF, anyone reckless and foolhardy enough(read: me) would most likely find themselves with a shiny rifle or two, kept in good condition thanks to the by-the-book nature of the office staff.

 

Then again, if the zombies are of the diseased runner variety, I might as well jump from a cliff and hope for quick divine intervention.

[Guest The Architect]

Really? In NSW we use guns to kill zombies.

 

NSW can get ****ed!

[Sand]

Really? In NSW we use guns to kill zombies.

 

Guns can run out of bullets. Chainsaws can run out of gass.

 

Real men use swords.

[Guest The Architect]

Swords can run out of... sharpness.

 

Real men use their foreheads.

[Sand]

Swords can run out of... sharpness.

 

Real men use their foreheads.

 

TEETH! TEETH!

 

Eat the zombie before it eats you!

[DeathScepter]

LOLOLOL

 

 

Real men use just about anything to kick ass.

[Tale]

Real men die when the zombies come. Don't be a real man. Run.

[Sand]

Real men die when the zombies come. Don't be a real man. Run.

 

Damn straight!

[Nick_i_am]

Wait, what's a zombies hitdice?

[Humodour]

d4, but they know no fear and feel no pain.

[Checkpoint]

We get a lot of zombie invasions here in Stockholm. It's called "S

[Pidesco]

Real men kill zombies with chainsaws. And when they rough it, it's a combination of hockey skates and kicks to the head.

 

As long as you clean the chainsaw afterwards.

[Kor Qel Droma]

A real man would just wipe the gore and blood on his shirt sleeve. Once the chainsaw is turned off, of course.

[Walsingham]

Chainsaws may work in the movies, but they spray putrescent flesh everywhere. They also require serious experience to handle properly. I always seem to be out of town during outbreaks, but I favour a halberd or spade. Certainly a halberd or boar spear is perfect for handling zombies (or 'zulus' in the British Army) as part of a group.

 

Something to keep in mind during all this is the physical fitness. Sure you may be able to swing a chainsaw for five minutes, but you may have to fight for hours at a time. Core strength, and aerobic fitness, not to mention careful attention to weapon weight have to be considered.

[Walsingham]

As an aside, I've been reading The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. It talks about evolutionary theory, and illuminates something that's been puzzling me about the various zombie creating viruses: why don't the buggers rot?

 

It seems that there is a strong tendency in many infections for them to fight amongst themselves. After all, why share the spoils? Indeed in some infections it is the side effects of this fighting which kills the human host. This could explain the fact that zombies rot so slowly. The Z viruses have mastered the business of kicking the competition through production of some toxin or toxins, leaving the z viruses to function without interference. If we assume that the toxins interfere with the proteins in cell lipid membranes it could explain the way complex cell structures like the brain are futzed long before simple ones like muscles (they depend on more complex transmitter proteins).

[Deraldin]

Zombies don't rot? Says who?

[Shryke]

i find that in my current situation, i would be poorly equipped to fight off a horde of zombies

 

in my previous flat, there was an abundance of weapons such as bats and machetes on hand for easy use, and easily fortified entry/exit points

 

my ideal weapon of choice would be something along the lines of a boar spear

[Gfted1]

I cant for the life of me understand why some of you would want to use a spear. Dont you guys realize you can poke holes in a zombie all day but you have to destroy the head/brain to permanently drop one?

 

Me, since Aram's house is getting crowded, Ill have to rely on my trusty .357 and somehow jamming up the staircase to the upstairs. Maybe by shoving some big dressers, computer desks, whatnot?

 

Meh, Im a goner.

[Shryke]

for me it wouldn't be about killing the zombie, so much as poking it and keeping it away from me while i try and get away

[Walsingham]

for me it wouldn't be about killing the zombie, so much as poking it and keeping it away from me while i try and get away

 

Pogo stick?

[Calax]

I will soon be in a unique position to blow zombies up from long range with tomahawks so I should be fine.

[Shryke]

for me it wouldn't be about killing the zombie, so much as poking it and keeping it away from me while i try and get away

 

Pogo stick?

 

well if we're talking about modes of transport, then how about a segway?