Kaftan Barlast Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Ladies and gentlemen, I have recently begun work on a comedy website posing as the online version of a rare english magazine for "gentlemen of taste and refinement". The thought is to fill it with lots of misinformative, offensive and fun articles about everything between heaven and earth. Travel accounts, interviews, opinion pieces, anything you want. The incomplete website can be found at http://www.krotma.com Now, Im looking for people who want to contribute to my website as writers and "journalists"! No web-thingie skills required at all, posting an article is as easy as making a post here. You will have to make up one or more fake personas with full names though, as this is a magazine for educated gentlemen. You should also come up with a nice photograph, but we have plenty in stock if you are not inclined to aquire one by yourself. Good luck and godspeed, Phineas H. Merriweather, Editor DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pidesco Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I may be interested. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian touristI am Dan Quayle of the Romans.I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.Heja Sverige!!Everyone should cuffawkle more.The wrench is your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted January 6, 2008 Author Share Posted January 6, 2008 I have two recruits already, this is going quite well. Im currently planning a running Q&A with Dr. Bedford and Mrs. Hearst on the topic of co-living and sexual habits. The theme is that bedford explains everything using psedusciene such as race biology, physiognomy etc. while Mrs. Hearst convinces the reader that touching yourself is a perverted and unnatural practice that will cause blindness and give your children polio. DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xard Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 Ahh Kaft you're enough comedian for whole world all by yourself, you don't need help ...I'm not interested, but I'll propably start reading these, heh. How can it be a no ob build. It has PROVEN effective. I dare you to show your builds and I will tear you apart in an arugment about how these builds will won them. - OverPowered Godzilla (OPG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astr0creep Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm interested. http://entertainmentandbeyond.blogspot.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Is this professional? As in, would we get paid? Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick_i_am Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Too bad all my spare time is spent animating, otherwise this would be interesting. (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 Its pretty much done now, all we need is a few articles. Ill try to write an article soon so you can see how its supposed to look and alll would we get paid? When hell freezes over DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tale Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'd be interested, but you're supposedly done. I'm an absolutely astounding liar. And I wish I was british. I was born for something like this. "Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 With done, I meant that everything technical works now. I have managed to recruit a small number of miscreants but I need more.. MORE!! DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Any qualifications required? As in, age restriction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 As long as you can write, age doesnt matter DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 (edited) Hooray! I'm still confused as to just what we'd be writing about, but I'm willing to give it a shot just to be sure, we would get an awesome british gentleman alias, right? Edited January 8, 2008 by Krookie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigranes Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Krookie is twelve!! Let's Play: Icewind Dale Ironman (Complete) Let's Play: Icewind Dale II Ironman (Complete) Let's Play: Divinity II (Complete) Let's Play: Baldur's Gate Trilogy Ironman - BG1 (Complete) Let's Play: Baldur's Gate Trilogy Ironman - BG2 (In Progress) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 I did write a small article last night about the swiss navy, it's not completly hillarious but its good to start with loe expectations so you can raise them later Krookie is twelve!! Eeeeewwwwww! Isnt that too young to be even posting on a forum like this? You have to be atleast 13 to join from what i remember of the legal-thingie. But still, if he can write like a man, hes free to write stuff for Krotma DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 He's like 15 Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Architect Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 He's 16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 He can't drive yet. Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Architect Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I haven't got my drivers license yet. Yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pidesco Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 He's 43, actually. He's one of those German dudes who like to pretend they're little kids. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian touristI am Dan Quayle of the Romans.I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.Heja Sverige!!Everyone should cuffawkle more.The wrench is your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Architect Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 So he's actually a Krookieschnitzel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Accept Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Krookie Van Braun you say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sand Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 He can't drive yet. Neither can I and I am 35! Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer. @\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?" Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy." Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I want to think you're joking, but it really isn't that much of a stretch for me to believe that you don't have a drivers license. Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humodour Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Hahahaha. A+ thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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