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Resident Evil: Extinction


Tale

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This new iteration in the Resident Evil follows in the second movie's steps by managing to be worse than the previous one. The second movie managed to be worse than the first, while I enjoyed the first, and this one manages to be worse than the second. The second movie had redeeming qualities in that the action scenes were relatively exciting, this one fails to even hit that mark. Resident Evil: Extinction does not know what kind of movie it wants to be. It doesn't know if it wants to be a B-grade zombie flick, a monster movie, an action movie, or some sort of post apocalyptic Mad Max type adventure. It's not that it tries to do all of these things. That would be giving it too much credit. It's just too stupid to even know what it's doing at all. At one point in a the film a large flock of birds start attacking the characters in a scene that may give you some feeling of nostalgia for Hitch****. This is quickly ruined when one character heroicly runs out firing dual pistols akimbo style at them. I think he wanted to marry Hitch**** to John Woo here but it only comes across that way if you consider the possibility that Hitch**** and Woo are brother and sister and this is their retarded offspring. I didn't know whether to be scared or excited, but I did know that I wanted to leave.

 

The plot is held together by poorly placed and poorly paced scenes that feature not just one, but two, brooding heroines who complain that everyone just seems to die around them. The fact that one of these two heroines is Milla Jovovich is the only thing that stopped me from walking out, something I have not considered doing before aside from Dude, Where's My Car?. She's more beautiful in this movie than she has been since she was naked and couldn't speak english in The Fifth Element. Every time she showed up on screen it was enough to keep me staying. Mainly because it gave me nice source material to fantasize that I was making out with her, which made it well worth the price of admission.

 

5 stars for Milla "Om nom nom" Jovovich

-3 stars for being an utterly horrible piece of cinema, second in ****tiness only to Mortal Kombat Annihilation

2 stars final score

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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I like RE3:Extinction.

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

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While I haven't seen this movie, I have an issue with the comment that the only movie ****tier than it is Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I have issue with this because The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is ****tier than Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. This is because Mortal Kombat: Annihilation has a scene where a guy with metal arms punches the living snot out centaur/dinosaur thing. This is nto shared by The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

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^I have to conform with the above statement. Also, Street Fighter.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Why didn't you just post this in the movies thread, Tale?

Because when I checked yesterday there was only the "upcoming movies" thread on the page and I forgot there was a "you have seen lately" thread.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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I never saw LoEG, but Street Fighter I did see and I have to disagree. But Street Fighter was also worse than Extinction, I totally forgot about Street Fighter.

Edited by Tale
"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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^I have to conform with the above statement. Also, Street Fighter.

 

Street Fighter is by far the most hilarious action flick I have ever seen. I still watch it to laugh through the entire thing.

Using a gamepad to control an FPS is like trying to fight evil through maple syrup.

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I have seen MK:A, Streetfighter, and LoEG. They were all worse than RE:E in my ever so humble opinion.

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

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I really don't think Milla is that hot at all.

I vote that this man be banned.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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I really don't think Milla is that hot at all.

I vote that this man be banned.

 

:o

 

a bit drastic, no?

They used to burn people for heresy.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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Hot or not, I like her as an actress. She definitely has the action heroine routine down quite well.

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

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I remember Mortal Kombat Annihilation for only one reason.

 

My mom watched it all the way through.

 

I had rented the MK:A and a couple of other movies and then gone out for the day. When I came back home, my parents were sitting together on the couch watching MK:A. Apparently they had been watching movies all day.

 

She was laughing hysterically at the final battle with the Centaur thing and the Guy with Metal Arms (Jax?). I think she thought it was a comedy.

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It was a funny movie... In a sad, pathetic way.

 

Like it or not, they are making a 3 MK movie, this time Lambert is reprising his role as Rayden. Supposedly out by 2010.

Edited by Sand

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

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I'm surprised Dead or Alive hasn't come up in this topic yet.

I tried to watch it in a "this film is so bad it's great" kind of way, but it just completely sucked. And the chicks weren't even that hot.

 

Like it or not, they are making a 3 MK movie, this time Lambert is reprising his role as Rayden. Supposedly out by 2010.

 

That's a must-see.

Listen to my home-made recordings (some original songs, some not): http://www.youtube.c...low=grid&view=0

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Maybe this thread should be renamed to "terrible movies you've seen lately."

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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I'm surprised Dead or Alive hasn't come up in this topic yet.

I tried to watch it in a "this film is so bad it's great" kind of way, but it just completely sucked. And the chicks weren't even that hot.

 

Like it or not, they are making a 3 MK movie, this time Lambert is reprising his role as Rayden. Supposedly out by 2010.

 

That's a must-see.

 

Only three people went to see Dead or Alive. The other two killed themselves. That leaves you.

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Hot or not, I like her as an actress. She definitely has the action heroine routine down quite well.

I think she's a fine actress, just...you know...a bit mannish.

 

Maybe I've just never seen any decent naked pics or something, who knows.

 

I really don't want to see DoA, but my friend keeps insisting it will "be hot".

1169782506.gif

 

Seriously, only like, three people can touch my body

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