Jump to content

Random Text RPG Battles


Recommended Posts

Walsingham examines the dice and discovers a piece of gum is stuck to the opposite face of the dice, accounting for all the crit fumbles. He unobtrusively attaches it to the face opposite crit success...

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest The Architect

It's been almost a month since the day The Architect almost suffocated on bird poo. He's just finished having the sexxorz with DeathScepter's treacherous and slutty blonde assistant, Christina the Jedi Killer, and is returning to the place where he almost died to face DeathScepter the Dark Ninja Mage, who as of late, has done nothing but eat Raffles chips, cuffawkle, and play Pokemon on his GameBoy Colour.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gorth casts "Protection from Self" and puts on his "Straight Jacket +1 vs. logic"

 

Ready to take on the world :(

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It has taken Monte Carlo many, many levels to achieve twenty ranks in Build Conservatory with the Attach blinds! and Completely level decked exterior! feats. To craft this item costs about twenty grand in his own money, which is a hell of a lot of sub-prime soiled dollars, btw.

 

Ignoring the chaos around him he finally begins to build and rolls a '1'.

 

He pulls out his +2 Browning and shoots himself.

sonsofgygax.JPG

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Atom523 wraps a cloth around his self inflicted stab wound and begins to realize that he isn't cut out for combat. He starts to build Monte Carlo's conservatory with the money and supplies that Monte Carlo had gathered. Barely managing to make his roll he begins construction, however without the feats and skill that Monte Carlo possessed starts to build the roof on the eastern wall without knowing it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest The Architect

The Architect won't be confronting DeathScepter. He just bam... dropped dead on the spot. No one knows why. And his ghost committed suicide because the ghost thought heaps of people would care and mourn about his death and discuss how he died and try and find out how he died and stuff, but when the ghost realised nobody cared, he couldn't handle that kind of negligence.

 

Basically this is just my way of exiting this thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Suddenly the one who beholding the death and chaos that transpired following the entrence of the Whore's nipple saloon by the band of heroes, the White mage/ paladin simply known as the doc, emerged from the shadows and healed the foolish atom523, relieving him of his self inficted knife wound the Game Doctor has joined the party.

I have the ability to kill a yak from 200 yards away...WITH MIND BULLETS!!!!

 

The best part about Impersonating a Doctor is that it's nice and legal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*the Gate eats sega-shaman's "@$$"*

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Recognizing The Game Doctor, Sega hands him 2 butterknives that he created by casting a Polymorph spell on the spoon.

 

 

Equivalent Exchange can bite my auto-mail @$$ !! :shifty:

Can you polymorph me a Wii and Limited Edition FFVII PSP Slim, while you're at it? I've got a handful of paperclips.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Atom523 thanks game doctor, then abandons his current construction project and decides to build a tree house from which he can witness the carnage in safety.....unless someone sets it on fire....

 

*Sega flicks a casual fireball spell at the nearby city park, which being a park, has quite a few trees.*

(To be honest, it WAS a small fireball.)

I've always wanted to give a dolphin rabies...

Just to see what happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Atom523 thanks game doctor, then abandons his current construction project and decides to build a tree house from which he can witness the carnage in safety.....unless someone sets it on fire....

 

*Sega flicks a casual fireball spell at the nearby city park, which being a park, has quite a few trees.*

(To be honest, it WAS a small fireball.)

 

Atom523 casts ray of frost on the tree nearest to him putting out the fire and continues to work while the rest of the trees burn down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gorth sends carrier pigeon to nearest shadow druid council with message, telling them that tree burning is taking place... >_

Edited by Gorth

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gorth sends carrier pigeon to nearest shadow druid council with message, telling them that tree burning is taking place... ;)

*casts fireball at the carrier pigeon*

 

*eats roast pigeon*

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
Link to comment
Share on other sites

*suddenly, challenger appears*

How can it be a no ob build. It has PROVEN effective. I dare you to show your builds and I will tear you apart in an arugment about how these builds will won them.

- OverPowered Godzilla (OPG)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

*Sega Uses Loot where the carrier pigeon fell.

Sega gained a message!

Sega uses Lvl. 7 Oragami! on message. Message becomes a paper plane.

Sega Lights paper plane on FIRE and flicks it at "challenger".*

:brows: Fire Solves All.

I've always wanted to give a dolphin rabies...

Just to see what happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Blood on my smock

I pulls out my glock

plus 4 to attack

Be rollin' like 2-pac

 

MASSIVE CRITICALS

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 8 months later...
GameDoctor casts Surgery on Challanger.

 

Failure, Challanger dies.

 

Sega_Shaman uses Malpractice Lawsuit!

GameDoctor goes to court!

 

Ermm..... o:) .....

OBJECTION! Anyone want to pop something in? Next thing, something completely different, new thing entirely even? ......Pie?

I've always wanted to give a dolphin rabies...

Just to see what happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Walsingham staggers sideways across the fight, with a lobster clinging to the septum of his nose.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...