Random Text RPG Battles

[Walsingham]

Walsingham examines the dice and discovers a piece of gum is stuck to the opposite face of the dice, accounting for all the crit fumbles. He unobtrusively attaches it to the face opposite crit success...

[Guest The Architect]

It's been almost a month since the day The Architect almost suffocated on bird poo. He's just finished having the sexxorz with DeathScepter's treacherous and slutty blonde assistant, Christina the Jedi Killer, and is returning to the place where he almost died to face DeathScepter the Dark Ninja Mage, who as of late, has done nothing but eat Raffles chips, cuffawkle, and play Pokemon on his GameBoy Colour.

[Gorth]

Gorth casts "Protection from Self" and puts on his "Straight Jacket +1 vs. logic"

 

Ready to take on the world

[Monte Carlo]

It has taken Monte Carlo many, many levels to achieve twenty ranks in Build Conservatory with the Attach blinds! and Completely level decked exterior! feats. To craft this item costs about twenty grand in his own money, which is a hell of a lot of sub-prime soiled dollars, btw.

 

Ignoring the chaos around him he finally begins to build and rolls a '1'.

 

He pulls out his +2 Browning and shoots himself.

[Atom523]

Atom523 wraps a cloth around his self inflicted stab wound and begins to realize that he isn't cut out for combat. He starts to build Monte Carlo's conservatory with the money and supplies that Monte Carlo had gathered. Barely managing to make his roll he begins construction, however without the feats and skill that Monte Carlo possessed starts to build the roof on the eastern wall without knowing it.

[Guest The Architect]

The Architect won't be confronting DeathScepter. He just bam... dropped dead on the spot. No one knows why. And his ghost committed suicide because the ghost thought heaps of people would care and mourn about his death and discuss how he died and try and find out how he died and stuff, but when the ghost realised nobody cared, he couldn't handle that kind of negligence.

 

Basically this is just my way of exiting this thing.

[Sega_Shaman]

Uses Loot on Architect.

Sega gains 20 gold, a spoon, and a set of keys.

[GameDoctor893]

Suddenly the one who beholding the death and chaos that transpired following the entrence of the Whore's nipple saloon by the band of heroes, the White mage/ paladin simply known as the doc, emerged from the shadows and healed the foolish atom523, relieving him of his self inficted knife wound the Game Doctor has joined the party.

[Sega_Shaman]

Recognizing The Game Doctor, Sega hands him 2 butterknives that he created by casting a Polymorph spell on the spoon.

 

 

Equivalent Exchange can bite my auto-mail @$$ !!

 

[Musopticon?]

*the Gate eats sega-shaman's "@$$"*

[GameDoctor893]

game Doc uses hi-5 on Musopticon + 10 friend points

[Atom523]

Atom523 thanks game doctor, then abandons his current construction project and decides to build a tree house from which he can witness the carnage in safety.....unless someone sets it on fire....

[Tale]

Recognizing The Game Doctor, Sega hands him 2 butterknives that he created by casting a Polymorph spell on the spoon.

 

 

Equivalent Exchange can bite my auto-mail @$$ !!

Can you polymorph me a Wii and Limited Edition FFVII PSP Slim, while you're at it? I've got a handful of paperclips.

[Sega_Shaman]

Atom523 thanks game doctor, then abandons his current construction project and decides to build a tree house from which he can witness the carnage in safety.....unless someone sets it on fire....

 

*Sega flicks a casual fireball spell at the nearby city park, which being a park, has quite a few trees.*

(To be honest, it WAS a small fireball.)

[Atom523]

Atom523 thanks game doctor, then abandons his current construction project and decides to build a tree house from which he can witness the carnage in safety.....unless someone sets it on fire....

 

*Sega flicks a casual fireball spell at the nearby city park, which being a park, has quite a few trees.*

(To be honest, it WAS a small fireball.)

 

Atom523 casts ray of frost on the tree nearest to him putting out the fire and continues to work while the rest of the trees burn down.

[Gorth]

Gorth sends carrier pigeon to nearest shadow druid council with message, telling them that tree burning is taking place... >_

Edited September 26, 2007 by Gorth

[Tale]

Gorth sends carrier pigeon to nearest shadow druid council with message, telling them that tree burning is taking place...

*casts fireball at the carrier pigeon*

 

*eats roast pigeon*

[Xard]

*suddenly, challenger appears*

[Sega_Shaman]

*Sega Uses Loot where the carrier pigeon fell.

Sega gained a message!

Sega uses Lvl. 7 Oragami! on message. Message becomes a paper plane.

Sega Lights paper plane on FIRE and flicks it at "challenger".*

Fire Solves All.

[thepixiesrock]

Blood on my smock

I pulls out my glock

plus 4 to attack

Be rollin' like 2-pac

 

MASSIVE CRITICALS

[GameDoctor893]

GameDoctor casts Surgery on Challanger.

 

Failure, Challanger dies.

[Sega_Shaman]

GameDoctor casts Surgery on Challanger.

 

Failure, Challanger dies.

 

Sega_Shaman uses Malpractice Lawsuit!

GameDoctor goes to court!

[Sega_Shaman]

GameDoctor casts Surgery on Challanger.

 

Failure, Challanger dies.

 

Sega_Shaman uses Malpractice Lawsuit!

GameDoctor goes to court!

 

Ermm..... .....

OBJECTION! Anyone want to pop something in? Next thing, something completely different, new thing entirely even? ......Pie?

[Walsingham]

Walsingham staggers sideways across the fight, with a lobster clinging to the septum of his nose.

[Atom523]

Atom523 begins to drawn in the fear and pain from the fighting and begins to feed, as the shadowy energy enters his body his body looks healthier eyes shine brighter and an evil smile creeps across his face.