# Math proves that the Buffy universe

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Someone posted this on another forum I go to, and I found it so amusing I had to steal the link. Hope it wasn't already posted 5 months ago or something ...

Then the calculations begin. If a single vampire fed on a single human in the first month, this would create two vampires -- and decrease the human population by one, leaving it at 536,870,911 - 1 = 536,870,910. In the second month, those two vampires would each feed, transforming two people into vampires -- so you get four vampires and a human population of 536,870,911 - 3 = 536,870,908. So you can see where this is headed. The vampire population is increasing in a geometric progression, and the population of humans is similarly decreasing -- and at that rate, the authors calculate, the entire human population would be transformed into vampires in only 30 months. QED!
This would seem to strike a horrible blow to the whole concept of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, eh? And indeed, when this study came out last year, Buffy fans worldwide wept hot, bitter tears.

But wait! The whole point behind the Buffy universe is that there's a slayer out there killing vampires and keeping their population down. This is something the authors didn't consider in their paper. So couldn't a vampire killer simply slaughter vampires as fast as they're created?

Sure -- except then the math gets even more interesting.

Because the thing about the Buffy universe is that the population of vampires is reasonably stable. There are a fair number of vampires around, but not enough to overwhelm the earth. But as it turns out, if you look at that chart above, there's a very narrow vampire-population window at which equilibrium can be kept.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Not everyone a vampire bites becomes a vampire or even dies. Everybody knows that.

Although sometimes your level gets drained and you have to rememorize all your highest level spells.

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yes, quite, in order to become a vampire you have to drink the blood of a vampire, who then becomes your master. Merely being bitten is analogous to a charm spell that will enable the vampire to feed on that same vicim again with ease.

Edited by Gorgon

greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER.

That is all.

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And vampires can kill other vampires in a cannibalistic cull.

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

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Exactly. We all know that vampires, being evil, never win because they're always fighting each other.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

-Elwood Blues

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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No, no, no. I don't like this at all. There are just too many holes in this study for my liking.

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Also take into account how many are routinely and frustratingly killed by werewolves.

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This is dreadful news. How am I supposed to play Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines now, knowing that I'm driving an endangered species to the brink of extinction? It's no better than playing Panda Cull 2 (an XBox exclusive, I believe).

"An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov)

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Also take into account how many are routinely and frustratingly killed by werewolves.

and yet werewolves fear vamps.

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

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not in underworld. it's a 50/50 split. they fear each other. the hybrid... that's the key. it'll rule all. yes... not long now...

taks

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that movie sucked lol

There was a time when I questioned the ability for the schizoid to ever experience genuine happiness, at the very least for a prolonged segment of time. I am no closer to finding the answer, however, it has become apparent that contentment is certainly a realizable goal. I find these results to be adequate, if not pleasing. Unfortunately, connection is another subject entirely. When one has sufficiently examined the mind and their emotional constructs, connection can be easily imitated. More data must be gleaned and further collated before a sufficient judgment can be reached.

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This is dreadful news. How am I supposed to play Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines now, knowing that I'm driving an endangered species to the brink of extinction? It's no better than playing Panda Cull 2 (an XBox exclusive, I believe).

I think we just found Project SASKATCHEWAN for Obs.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

-Elwood Blues

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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yes, quite, in order to become a vampire you have to drink the blood of a vampire, who then becomes your master. Merely being bitten is analogous to a charm spell that will enable the vampire to feed on that same vicim again with ease.

My psychiatrist helped me block this out.

DAMN YOU GORGON!

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Who says all 512 vamps are in the same city? They could be part of the 512 in China, and voila, the slayer can't reach them.

EDIT: damn, slight necroposting. oops.

Edited by WILL THE ALMIGHTY

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

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Who says all 512 vamps are in the same city? They could be part of the 512 in China, and voila, the slayer can't reach them.

EDIT: damn, slight necroposting. oops.

Not at all. This problem was addressed in the latest Slayer upgrade v7.22 (i.e. the last episode of the last series).

"An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov)

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"yes, quite, in order to become a vampire you have to drink the blood of a vampire, who then becomes your master. Merely being bitten is analogous to a charm spell that will enable the vampire to feed on that same vicim again with ease."

Doesn't work this way. Buffy vamps tend not cast spells (though nothing says a vamp can't cast spells) nor do they hahve the supernatural abilty to charm their victims with their bites though many vamps can be charming. Just ask Buffy. L0L

DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED \$250.

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OH NOEZ canon crisis!

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

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