Walsingham Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 We are lucky in England because aside from the cricket bats we also have working castles. Which are pretty much ideal for zombies. The very best kind would e one bordered by water so you have non-ground based egress and entry. High walls would work for classic and running zombies. I'm mostly worried by how many of us have put a lot of thought into this though. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumquatq3 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I'm mostly worried by how many of us have put a lot of thought into this though. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Because you might not be first to the castle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I'm mostly worried by how many of us have put a lot of thought into this though. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Because you might not be first to the castle? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, you chaps can share the castle with me, but I don't like the notion of a bunch of randoms showing up. I also dispute the notion of avoiding the zombies. I say you stake out your area and you proactively neutralise them. I'm thinking catapulted nets, followed by methodical smushing. If you clear out your region you could probably expand outwards in time. Get back to normal. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I'd get a raft and sit in my neighbor's pool. Zombies can't swim! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llyranor Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I keep up on my zombie training with the Dead Rising demo. (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumquatq3 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I'd get a raft and sit in my neighbor's pool. Zombies can't swim! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> stay in the deep end! I'm thinking catapulted nets, followed by methodical smushing. If you clear out your region you could probably expand outwards in time. Get back to normal. Slow zombies are no problem, especially if your mobile at all. If they are the speedy type of zombies I see problems. At least your effectively on a large island Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 (edited) My plan contains three olives, rubber gloves, lubricant, live chicken and numbers 5 to 9 from keyboard. Edit: Crap, wrong plan. Man, that would have been ankward. Shotgun and ammunition is my plan for zombies. Edited December 24, 2006 by kirottu This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf16 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 (edited) Arm myself. Find and organize anyone I could. Head to the local police station, or our nearby Air Force base, and dig in. Once we establish a defensive fortification we start the war. Edited December 24, 2006 by LoneWolf16 I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows 'Cause I won't know the man that kills me and I don't know these men I kill but we all wind up on the same side 'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will. - Everlast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Raven Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Flaming zombies. Burn them. Hades was the life of the party. RIP You'll be missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bokishi Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Chainsaw Current 3DMark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgon Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 (edited) Groovy Edited December 24, 2006 by Gorgon Na na na na na na ... greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@\NightandtheShape/@ Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Chainsaw <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Gears of War Style :cool: "I'm a programmer at a games company... REET GOOD!" - Me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kor Qel Droma Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I honestly think all of you are looking too much into this. You can kill a lot of undead with a plain old baseball bat. Aluminum or wooden, it doesn't matter. As for my plan, I'd go to my drug dealers house. Not only does he have armaments, he also has...drugs? Jaguars4ever is still alive. No word of a lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tale Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 (edited) I honestly think all of you are looking too much into this. You can kill a lot of undead with a plain old baseball bat. Aluminum or wooden, it doesn't matter. As for my plan, I'd go to my drug dealers house. Not only does he have armaments, he also has...drugs? Spoken like a true rookie. Speaking back to a couple of years ago when the zombies infested campus. I heard the screaming from my apartment, it woke me up. I had decided to skip class and get extra sleep. But, I am only a block from the campus. So, with the screaming I naturally went to see what was going on. And apparently my neighbor had the same inclination. When we saw zombies, my neighbor, damned if I can remember his name now, thought it would be terrific fun to take his louisville slugger and go zombie hunting. The first campus invasion of the undead I experienced I spent the entire time defensive, so I decided I'd join in as well, get some offensive practice. Heck, it could be fun, just like a video game! I got two of my katanas (cheap katanas, bad idea, fyi) and went with him. As we approach campus, we encounter two fresh undead free of packs and decide to get our first shots in. He goes to club one, I try to cut off the head of the other. He swings and hits the first in the head, it goes down. I swing to cut the other's head off and I end up with a shambling, decaying, pez dispenser. He swayed as he moved and after each of his steps forward, his head would flap. So, he was still moving and a danger. I look to my neighbor, we shrug in unison, he pulls back the bat to make a swing at my unfinished zombie and then he starts screaming. The first zombie he hit on the head wasn't out of commission, he just knocked it down. It takes a lot more than a simple bonk to finish off most zombie, especially converts. Decaying corpses it can work on, but the problem with infestation is that the decaying corpses got a hold of fresh meat that doesn't fail as easily. You have to swing hard. And you can tire fast. I won't go into detail about what happened to my neighbor. But, I will say I know how easy it is to tire when you swing that bat like you mean it. I picked up his bat took out three. Edited December 25, 2006 by Tale "Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kor Qel Droma Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Pfft...you fought college zombies. Everyone knows zombies who have jobs are much more ruthless. Jaguars4ever is still alive. No word of a lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tale Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Pfft...you fought college zombies. Everyone knows zombies who have jobs are much more ruthless. All the more reason not to underestimate them! "Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nartwak Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I will consume the flesh of the living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Raven Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Mmmm blood. Hades was the life of the party. RIP You'll be missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortis Nai Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 (edited) Damn it, Nartwak & Raven have been compromised! And I highly recommend some of you read the actual Zombie Survival Guide as it may just save your life in all this, I keep mine on me at all times. Here are some excerts on general Zombie fights rules and use of weapons seeing as how this seems to be the topic of current discussion. GENERAL RULES: 1. OBEY THE LAW!: Regulations governing weapons such as frearms and explosives depend on your location. Follow them to the letter. Punishment may range from a sizable fine to incarceration. In any case, the resulting criminal record is something you cannot afford! When the dead rise, law enforcement must look upon you as a model citizen, someone to be trusted and left alone, not a felon of questionable background who should be interrogated at the first sign of trouble. Fomnately, as this chapter will show, simpler, legal weapons will serve you much better than paramilitary death machines. 2. TRAIN CONSTANTLY: No matter what weapon you choose, from a simple machete to a semiautomatic rifle, it must become an extension of your body. Practice as often as possible. If classes are available, by all means sign up. Learning from qualified instructors will save immense time and energy. If the device can he disassembled, do so, both in sunlight and total darkness until you know every pin, every spring, every curve and edge of that all-important machine. With practice will come both experience and confidence, two traits you must develop in order to successfully do battle with the living dead. History has proven that a well-trained individual, with nothing but a rock, has a better chance of survival than a novice with the latest technological marvel. 3. CARE FOR YOUR TOOLS: Weapons, no matter how simple they may be, must he cared for as if they were living things. Anyone with firearm experience knows that inspection and cleaning are part of everyday use. This also applies to close-combat weapons. Blades need polish and rust protection. Grips need checking and maintenance. Never abuse your tools or expose them to unnecessary damage. If possible, have them tested regularly by experienced professionals. These experts may detect early-stage defects imperceptible to the amateur user. 4. BEWARE DISPLAY ITEMS: Many companies offer a variety of replica weapons, such as swords, bows, etc., that are meant merely for decoration. Always research your chosen item thoroughly and ensure that it is intended for actual use in the real world. Do not rely solely on the company's word. "Battle ready" may mean the item could withstand a few blows on a theatrical stage, or at some historical fair, but it will snap in half during a life-or-death confrontation. If resources permit, purchase a duplicate item and train with it to the breaking point. Only then should you trust in its abilities. 5. DEVELOP THE FIRST WEAPON: The human body, if cared for and trained properly, is the greatest weapon on earth. Americans are notorious for their bad diet, lack of exercise, and relentless fetish for labor-saving technology. As recognizable as the term "couch potato" is, a more accurate term would be "cattle": fat, lazy, listless, and ready to he eaten. Weapon No. 1, the biological tool that is our body, can and must be transformed from prey to predator. Obey a strict diet and physical-fitness regimen. Concentrate on cardiovascular instead of strength-building exercise. Monitor any chronic health conditions you may have, no matter how small. Even if your worst ailment is allergies, treat them regularly! When a situation does arise, you must know exactly what your body is capable of! Study and master at least one martial art. Make sure its emphasis is on escaping holds rather than delivering blows. Knowing how to slip from a zombie's clutches is the single most important can possess when yon find yourself in close combat. CLOSE COMBAT Hand-to-hand combat should almost always be avoided. Given a zombie's lack of speed, it is much easier to run (or walk quickly) than stand and fight. However, it may be necessary to destroy a zombie at close quarters. When this happens, split-second timing is critical. A wrong move, a moment's hesitation, and you may feel cold hands gripping your arm, or sharp, broken teeth biting into your flesh. For this reason above all, choosing a close-combat weapon is more important than any other in this section. 1. BLUDGEONS When using a blunt weapon, the goal is to cmsh the brain (remember, the only way to kill a zombie is by destroying its brain). This is not as easy as it sounds. The human skull is one of the hardest, most durable surfaces in nature. So, of course, is the zombie's. Extreme force is needed to fracture, let alone shatter it. However, this must be done, and done with a single, well-placed blow. Missing your target or I'I failing to breach the bone will leave you with no second chance. Sticks, ax handles, and other wooden clubs are good for knocking a zombie out of the way or beating off an individual attack. What they lack is the weight and strength necessaq for a lethal strike. A section of lead pipe will work /I for a single encounter but is too heavy for those on the move. A sledgehammer has the same drawback and also requires practice for its user to hit a moving target. Aluminum bats are light enough to work for one, maybe two fights, but are known to bend after prolonged use. The standard, one-handed carpenter's hammer has striking power but severely limited reach. Its short handle allows a zombie to grab your arm and pull it in. The police baton, made of acetate plastic (in most cases), is sbong enough for any battle but lacks the lethal power for a one-blow kill. (Note: This was intended in its design.) The best bludgeon is a steel crowbar. Its relatively lightweight and durable construction makes it ideal for prolonged close combat. Its curved, semisharpened edge also allows for a stabbing motion through the eye socket, directly into the brain case. I%' More than one survivor has reported killing zombies in this manner. Another benefit of the crowbar is that it may he necessary to pry open a door, shift a heavy object, or perform other tasks for which it was originally designed. None of these functions can be accomplished with any of the previously mentioned items. Even lighter and more durable than the steel crowbar is the titanium model, now trickling into Western markets from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union. 2. EDGED WEAPONS Blades, in any form, have advantages and disadvantages over bludgeons. Those hat have enough strength to l i t the skull rarely stand up after many repetitions. For this reason, slicing, particularly decapitation, serves almost the same function as a head blow. (Note: The severed head of a zombie is still able to bite and must be regarded as a threat.) The advantage of slicing over bludgeoning is that it can make killing a zombie unnecesssuy. In some cases, I simply chopping off a limb or severing the spine is enough to disable ! an undead assailant. (Note: Severing a limb also brings the possibility of contact with the virus through the exposed area.) The civilian ax can easily crnsh a zombie's skull, smashing through bone and brain in one swing. Decapitation is equally easy, which is why the ax has been the favored tool of executioners for centuries. Connecting with a moving head, however, might be difficult. Furthermore, if the swing ends in a total miss, you might be taken off balance. The smaller, one-handed hatchet is a good weapon of last resort. If you find yourself cornered, and larger weapons are useless, a hatchet blow will more than take care of an attacker. The sword is the ideal edged weapon, but not every kind will suffice. Foils, rapiers, and similar fencing weapons are not suited for slicing. Their only possible use would be a direct stab through the eye socket followed by a quick swirling action through the brain. This motion, however, has been accomplished only once, by a Pained I swordsman, and is therefore not recommended. Single-handed long swords allow you a free hand for other tasks such as opening a door or defending your body with a shield. Their only drawback is the lack of swinging power. One arm may not have the strength to slice through the thick cartilage between bones. Another drawback is its user's notorious lack of accuracy. Scoring a flesh wound anywhere on the body of a living opponent is one thing. Making an exact, clean chop through the neck is something else altogether. Double-handed swords could be considered the best in their class, providing the strength and accuracy for perfect decapitation. Of this type, the Japanese Samurai Katana ranks first. Its weight (three to five pounds) is perfect for long-term conflicts, and its blade can sever the toughest organic fiber. In tight quarters, shorter blades hold the advantage. The Roman Gladius is one choice, although combat-ready replicas are hard to find. The Japanese Ninjite boasts a two-handed grip and, in genuine models, renowned tempered steel. Both factors make it a superior weapon. The common machete, because of its size, weight, and availability, is probably your best choice. If possible, fmd the military type usually sold a t h y surplus stores. Its steel tends to be of a higher quality, and its blackened blade helps concealment at night. 3. MISCELLANEOUS HAND WEAPONS Spears, pikes, and tridents serve to skewer a zombie, keeping it out of reach but not necessarily scoring a kill. The chance of an eye-socket stab is possible, hut remote. The medieval European halberd (an axspear hybrid) may serve as a chopping weapon but, again, requires great amounts of skill and practice to accomplish a decapitating blow. Other than using them as bludgeons, or keeping your attacker at a distance, these weapons serve little purpose. Morning stars or "flails," a spiked ball chained to a rod, do basically the same damage as a crowbar, albeit in a more dramatic way. The owner swings the rod in a wide, circular motion, providing enough momentum to bring the hall crashing through the skull of his or her opponent. Using this weapon takes considerable skill, and it is therefore not recommended. The medieval European mace serves the same function as the standard household hammer but without benefit of the latter's practical uses. A mace cannot pry open a door or window, drive a chisel, or hammer a nail. Attempting such an act could result in accidental injury. Therefore, carry this medieval weapon only when no alternative is available. Knives are always useful, serving a variety of functions in a range of situations. Unlike a hatchet, they can kill a zombie only when the blade is stabbed through the temple, eye socket, or base of the skull. On the flip side, knives almost always weigh less than hatchets and, therefore, are better if you are on the move. When choosing a knife, make sure the blade is no more than six inches long and always smooth. Avoid serrated knives and saw-blade combinations found in survival knives, as they tend to become lodged in their victims. Imagine yourself stabbing one zombie through the temple and turning to engage the other three ghouls but not being able to retrieve your blade. The trench spike is, without a doubt, the best compact anti-zombie weapon on earth. It is a combination of a seven-inch steel spike for a blade and brass knuckles for a handle. It was developed during the vicious hand-to-hand combat of World War I, where soldiers killed each other in trenches no wider than a few feet. Specifically, it was designed to stab downward, through an enemy's steel helmet. Yon can imagine how effective this weapon would be against a zombie. The user could stab easily through a zombie's skull, withdraw cleanly and quickly, then turn to either brain another zombie or, at the very least, knock one over with a brass-knuckle punch to the face. Original models are extremely rare, with barely a few remaining in museums and the homes of private collectors. However, if accurate, detailed schematics can be found, have one or perhaps two combat-ready, stress-tested replicas made. They will be an investment you will never regret. The Shaolin Spade This weapon bears special mention in the anti-ghoul arsenal. It may appear unconventional: a six-foot hardwood staff with a flat, bellshaped blade on one end and an outward-facing crescent blade on the other. Its roots date hack to a bronze-bladed agricultural tool used during the Chinese Shang Dynasty (1766-1 122 B.C.E.). When Buddhism migrated to China, the spade was adopted by Shaolin monks as both tool and weapon. On several occasions, it has proven to be surprisingly effective against the living dead. Thmstiug forward with either blade will produce instant decapitation, while its length provides complete safety for the user. This length does make it impractical for indoor combat, and it should therefore be avoided in those situations. In open spaces, however, nothing combines the safety of a spear with the killing power of a katana sword like the Shaolin spade. A variety of other hand weapons exist around the world, and space does not permit the author to discuss each one individually. If you discover an implement or tool that you think might make a good weapon, ask yourself these questions: 1. Can it crush a skull in one blow? 2. If not, can it decapitate in said blow? 3. Is it easy to handle? 4. Is it light? 5. Is it durable? Questions 3,4, and 5 will have to depend on your present situation. Questions 1 and 2 are essential! 4. POWER TOOLS Popular fiction has shown us the awesome, brutal power of the chainsaw. Its lightning-quick, rotating teeth can easily slice through flesh and bone, making the strength and skill required for manual weapons unnecessary. Its roar might also give the owner a much-needed psychological boost-empowerment in a situation where abject terror is a given. How many horror movies have you seen in which this industrial killing machine has spelled doom for anyone and anything it touched? In reality, however, chainsaws and similar powered devices rank extremely low on the list of practical zombie-killing weapons. For starters, their fuel supply is finite. Once drained, they provide as much protection as a hand-held stereo. Carrying extra fuel or power cells leads to the second inherent problem: weight. The average chainsaw weighs ten pounds, compared to a two-pound machete. Why increase the chances of exhaustion? Safety must also be considered. One slip, and the spinning teeth might be slicing through your skull just as easily as your enemy's. L i e any machine, another problem is noise. A chainsaw's distinctive roar, even if running for just a few seconds, will be enough to broadcast to every zombie within earshot, "Dinner is served!" SLINGS AND ARROWS It is a commonly held notion that using non-f~earrnb allistics such as bows and slingshots are a waste of energy and resources. In most cases, this is true. However, if used properly, such a weapon will enable you to score a kill at long range with little or no sound. What if you're attempting to escape an infested area, yon tum a comer, and a single ghoul blocks your path? It's too far away for a hand weapon. Before you get close, its moans will betray your position. The crack of a firearm will sound an even louder alarm. What do you do? In cases like these, certain silent weapons may be your only option. 1. SLING Made famous from the biblical story of David and Goliath, this weapon has been part of our heritage since prehistoric times. The user places a smooth, round stone in the wider center of a thin leather strip, grabs both ends, swings it repeatedly in a rapid circle, then releases one end of the strip, loosing the stone at his target. Theoretically, it is possible to dispatch a zombie with a silent headshot at just under thirty paces. However, even with months of training, the chances of scoring such a hit are one in ten at best. With no experience, the wielder would be better off just throwing stones. 2. SLINGSHOT A descendant of the leather strap, the modem slingshot has at least ten times the accuracy of its ancestor, the sling. What it lacks is punch. Small projectiles fired from a modem slingshot simply do not have the force, even at minimum range, to penetrate a zombie's skull. Using this weapon might serve only to alert a ghoul to your presence. 3. THE BLOWGUN Given that poison has no effect on the undead, discount this weapon entirely. 4. SHURIKEN These small, multipoint devices were used in feudal Japan to pierce a human skull. In appearance they resemble a steel, two-dimensional replica of a shining star, hence their nickname, "throwing stars." In expert hands, they could easily bring down a zombie. However, as with many weapons discussed, the throwing star requires great expertise. Unless you are one of the few masters of this art (only a handful can still claim this title), refrain from such an exotic method. As with shuriken, these short-range weapons require weeks of practice to hit something as large as a human body and months to hit something as small as a human head. Only a dedicated expert could even hope for a reliable zombie kill. The time and energy spent training could be much more productive if applied to a conventional weapon. Remember, you have a variety of skills to learn, and not aU the time in the world to learn them. Don't waste those valuable hours attempting to master a third-rate weapon. 6. Tm LONG OR COMPOUND BOW To be blunt, hitting a zombie through the head with an arrow is an extremely difficult feat. Even with compound bows and modem sights, only experienced archers have a chance of making a direct shot. The only practical use for this weapon is the delivery of incendiaq arrows. For starting fires silently, at long distance, nothing works better than a flaming arrow. This manner of attack can, and has, been used to set undead individuals on fue. The targeted zombie will not know enough to pull the mow fiom its body and might, given the right circumstances, bum other ghouls before succumbing to the flames. (See "Fire," pages 51-54, for appropriate use.) 7. THE CROSSBOW The power and accuracy of a modem crossbow can send a "bolt" (crossbow mow) clean through a zombie's skull at over a quarter mile. Small wonder it has been dubbed "the perfect silent killer." Marksmanship is important, hut no more so than with a rifle. Reloading requires time and strength, but this should he unnecessary. The crossbow is a sniper's weapon, not a crowd-stopper. Use only against one zombie. Any more, and you might find yourself grabbed and mauled before you have time to load another bolt. As for bolts, either triangular or bullet-shape will suffice. For increased accuracy, a telescopic sight should be added. Unfortunately, the size and weight of any good crossbow will make it the primary weapon. Therefore, choose one only when the situation permits, such as traveling in a group, defending your home, or when no silenced frearms are available. 8. THE HAND BOW Smaller, one-handed crossbows can serve as a complement to your primary weapon. Carrying one means that a compact, silent weapon will always be on band if needed. In comparison to the larger crossbow, hand bows have inferior accuracy, power, and range. Using one means getting closer to the target. This increases not only the danger but the risk of detection, which, in turn, negates the need for a silent weapon. Use the hand bow carefully, and sparingly. FIREARMS Of all the weapons discussed in this book, nothing is more important than your primary firearm. Keep it cleaned, keep it oiled, keep it loaded, keep it close. With a cool bead, steady band, and plenty of ammunition, one human is more than a match for an army of zombies. Choosing a fuearm must be an exact science, with every variable considered. What is your primary goal: defense, attack, or flight? What outbreak class are you facing? How many people, if any, are in your group? What environment is your battleground? Different firearms serve different functions. Almost none serve all. Selecting the perfect tools means dispelling conventional doctrines of warfare that have worked so well against our fellow humans. Sadly, we know all too well how to kill each other. Killing zombies-that's another story. 1. THE HEAVY MACHINE GUN Since World War I, this invention has revolutionized human conflict. Its mechanism allows a storm of lead to be discharged in seconds. These tactics may be invaluable on the human battlefield but are a feckless waste against the living dead. Remember, yon are going for a head shot: one bullet, precisely placed. As the machine gun is designed for saturation fire, it may take hundreds, even thousands of rounds for one, randomly lethal shot. Even aiming the machine gun as a rifle (a tactic nsed by U.S. special forces) is a losing proposition. Why hit a zombie with a well-aimed five-round burst when one well-aimed rifle shot produces the same result? In the 1970% one school of thought favored the "scythe theory": If a machine gun is placed at the head level of an undead crowd, it could mow them down with one long burst. This argument has been debunked-ghouls, like the humans they nsed to be, are not all the same height. Even if some are destroyed, at least half will survive to close on your position. But what about the massive body damage caused by these weapons? Won't a machine gun have enough punch to rip a body in half, and doesn't that negate the need for a head shot? Yes and no. The standard 5.56-millimeter round used by the U.S. Army SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon) does have the ability to snap a human spine, sever limbs, or yes, tear a zombie's form in two. This, however, does not mean a head shot is unnecessary. For one, the chance of dismembering a zombie is slight and therefore requires large amounts of ammunition. For another, unless the brain is destroyed, the zombie itself is still alive-crippled, yes, perhaps even immobile, but still alive. Why give yourself the umecessary need of having to finish off a mass of writhing and potentially dangerous body parts? 2. THE E SUBMACHINGEUN The problem presented by this weapon is similar to that of the heavy machine gun: ammo expended versus living dead dispatched. However, when fighting in tight quarters, the submachine gun finds its niche. The short barrel makes it easier to handle than a rifle, but the folding stock gives it much more support than a pistol. Always be sure to keep it on the single-shot setting. As we discussed, full auto is simply a waste of ammo. Also, be sure to aim it from the shoulder. Shooting from the hip will produce nothing more than a loud noise and a clean miss. One disadvantage is poor accuracy at long range. Because the submachine gun was designed as a close-combat weapon, you will have to get much closer to a zombie than if you were carrying a rifle or assault weapon. This would normally not be a problem except that submachine guns, like all auto and semiautomatic weapons, have the possibility of jamming while in use. At short range, I you may be putting yourself at unnecessary risk. This is the only reason to discount a submachine gun as your primary weapon. 3. THE ASSAULT RIFLE This weapon was invented originally to bridge the gap between the rifle and submachine gun, offering both range and rapid fre. Wouldn't these traits make it ideal against the undead? Not really. Although range and accuracy are needed, rapid tire, as we've seen, is not. Even though an assault rifle can be set for semiautomatic, just like a submachine gun, the temptation to go full auto still exists, as it does with a submachine gun. When fighting for your life, it may simply be too ! easy to flip the switch to "rock 'n' roll," no matter how wasteful and useless this might be. If you do choose an assault rifle as your primaq weapon, keep in mind the basic questions that apply to all firearms: I What is its range? What is its accuracy? Is the appropriate ammunition 1 readily available? How easy is it to clean and maintain? To answer some of these questions, it is best to examine two extreme examples. The U.S. Army M16Al is considered by many to be the worst assault rifle ever invented. Its overcomplicated mecha44 nism is both difficult to clean and prone to jamming. Adjusting the sight, something that must be done eveIy time a target shifts its range, requires the use of a nail, ballpoint pen, or similar device. What if you didn't have one, or lost it as several dozen zombies shambled steadily toward you? The delicate plastic stock of the M16A1 obviates bayonet use, and by attempting to use it as such you would risk shattering the hollow, spring-loaded stock. This is a critical flaw. If you were confronted by multiple ghouls and your Al jammed, you would be unable to use it as a last-ditch hand-to-hand weapon. In the 1960s, the MI6 (originally the AR-15) was designed for Air Force base security. For political reasons typical of the militiuy-industrial complex (you buy my weapon, you get my vote and my campaign contribution), it was adopted as the principal infantry weapon for the U.S. Army. So poor was its early battle record that during the Vietnam War, communist guerrillas refused to take them from dead Americans. The newer M16A2, although somewhat of an improvement, is still regarded as a second-class weapon. If given the choice, emulate the Vietcong and ignore the M16 entirely. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Soviet AK-47 is considered the best assault rifle ever made. Although heavier than the M16 (10.58 pounds versus 7 pounds) and possessing a considerably harder kick, this weapon is famous for its rugged efficiency and sturdy construction. Its wide, spacious firing mechanism prevents jamming from di or sand. In hand-to-hand combat, you could either stab a zombie through the eye socket with the weapon's bayonet or use the solid, steel-backed wooden stock to smash through a zombie's skull. If imiThe tation is the sincerest form of flattery, then several nations have chosen to flatter the AK with either direct copies (Chinese Type 56) or modified designs (Israeli Galil). Again, although the assault rifle is not ideal for defense against the living dead, a member of the AK-47 family will be your best bet. 4. Tm BOLT-/LEVER-ACTION RIFLE A product of the mid-nineteenth century, these weapons are often regarded as obsolete. Why use a hunting rifle when you can own a submachine gun? Such arrogance is simply unfounded, its roots based in techno-chauvinism and the absence of practical experience. A wellmade, expertly used bolt- or lever-action rifle offers a defense against the living dead that is as good if not better than the latest military hardware. A rifle's single-shot capability forces the user to make each round count, increasing the chance of a hit. This feature also eliminates even the possibility of "rock 'n' rolling," and therefore preserving ammunition whether the user intends to or not. A third reason is the relative easiness to clean and operate a rifle, something that must not be overlooked. Hunting rifles are designed for a civilian market. Manufacturers know that if they are too complex, sales will plummet. A fourtb and final reason is ready availability of ammunition. As there are more civilian gun shops than military armories in the United States (a pattern not shared by the rest of the world), yon will find it easier to obtain ammunition for a hunting rifle than an assault weapon or submachine gun. This will prove critical in any of the scenarios covered in the latter part of this manual. When choosing a bolt- or lever-action rifle, try to find an older, military version if possible. This does not mean that civilian models are inferior weapons-quite the opposite-but almost all military boltaction rifles were designed for use in hand-to-hand combat. Make sure you take the time to study the use of a rifle for this purpose. Simply swinging it like a club would destroy any weapon, military and civilian alike. Manuals are available that explain how to use a rifle as a bludgeon. Even old war films can demonstrate how deadly these weapons are without firing a shot. Examples of bolt-action military rifles are the U.S. Springfield, the British Lee Enfield, and the German Mauser Kar 98k. Many of these still exist, some in good working order. Before choosing, however, make sure the appropriate ammunition is in ready supply. Having an impressive, bolt-action military rifle will do no good if the only rounds available fit civilian models. 5. THE SEMIAUTOMATIC R ~ E Since its debut, this weapon has shown itself to be a superior zombie killer. Given the possibility of wasting ammunition (a round is expended every time the trigger is pulled), a fair amount of discipline is required. However, this option can be a blessing when engaging multiple targets. In one recorded instance, a trapped woman dispatched fifteen attacking zombies in twelve seconds! (See "1947 A.D., Jarvie, British Columbia," pages 223-24.) This story illustrates the potential of a semiautomatic rifle. For close combat or for people on the run, the semiautomatic carbine serves the same function as the larger model. Although possessing half the range, the carbine tends to be lighter and easier to c q , and uses smaller ammunition. Either type will serve you well, depending on the situation. When choosing a semiautomatic weapon, the World War I1 M1 Garand or M1 Carbine are, in many ways, superior to contemporary weapons. This may be surprising, but these older military weapons were designed to survive the greatest conflict in history. Not only did they meet this task admirably, but the Garand remained the U.S. Army's main rifle through the Korean conflict, while the Carbine saw action up until the first years of Vietnam. Another advantage of the M1 Garand is its secondary role as a handto- hand weapon (in WWII, bayonet use was still considered a vital part of combat). Although no longer in production, many Garands still remain on the market with ammunition widely available. The h41 Carbine is, amazingly, still in production. Its light weight and short muzzle perfectly suit this weapon to indoor combat or long journeys on foot. Other, more modem choices include the Ruger Mini-30, Ruger Mini-14, and the Chinese Type 56 (a copy of the Soviet SKS carbine, not to be confused with the assault rifle of the same name). If discipline can be maintained, you will not find a better weapon than the semiautomatic rifle. 6. THE SHOTGUN At close range against human attackers, this weapon reigns supreme. Against the living dead, this is not entirely true. A good twelve-gauge shotgun can literally blow a zombie's head off. However, the longer the range, the greater the pellet dispersal pattern, and the lesser chance of skull penetration. A solid slug would have the same effect as a rifle, even at greater range (provided the barrel is long enough), but in that case, why not just use a rifle? What shotguns do possess is stopping power. The scattering shot acts as a solid wall, whereas a rifle bullet might pass clean through or miss the target altogether. If you are cornered, or on the run, and need time to escape, a good shotgun blast can send several zombies sprawling. The downside of a shotgun is that the large, twelve-gauge shells are bulky and therefore burdensome when ~ ~ traveling and leave less room for other equipment. This must be considered if a long journey is required. 7. THE PISTOL Americans have a special relationship with handguns. They seem to appear in every movie, every TV show, every pop novel, every comic book. Our heroes have always carried them, from the Old West lawman to the gritty urban cop. Gangsters rap about them; liberals and conservatives fight over them. Parents shelter children from them and manufacturers make untold fortunes from them. Possibly more than the automobile, the handgun is synonymous with America. But how useful is this cultural icon against a swarm of newly risen flesh-eaters? In truth, not very. Unlike our fictional heroes, the average person may have difficulty hitting anything, let alone something as small and mobile as a zombie's head. Throw in the obvious emotional strain of undead combat, and the possibility of a successful shot ranks one step above negotiating with your attacker. Studies have shown that of all wasted ballistic wounds-e.g., those that struck a zombie in a nonlethal way-73 percent came from some type of handgun. A laser sight increases the odds of accurate aim hut does nothing to steady a shaky wrist. Where handguns do come in handy is in extreme circumstances. If yon are grabbed by a zombie, a pistol can be a life-saver. Pressing its muzzle against the undead temple and squeezing the trigger takes no skill and ensures a positive kill. The fact that handguns are small, light, and easy to cany make them attractive as a secondary weapon for any scenario. If your primary weapon is a carbine, this adds the possibility of shared ammo and lighter load. For these reasons, a pistol should always be carried when confronting ghouls, but as a backup only. Never forget that many dismembered, half-eaten corpses have been discovered with these wonder weapons still clutched in their cold, dead hands. 8. .22-CALIBERRIM FIRE WEAPONS These weapons (rifle or pistol) fire a round no wider than a few millimeters and no longer than an inch. In normal circumstances it is usnally relegated to practice, competition, or the hunting of small game. In an attack by the undead, however, the diminutive .22 rimfire stands proudly alongside its heavier cousins. The small size of its rounds allows you to cany three times as much ammunition. This also makes the weapon itself lighter, a godsend on long treks through ghoulinfested territory. The ammunition is also easy to manufacture and plentiful throughout the country. No shop that sells any kind of ammunition would fail to stock .22 rimfire. 'ho disadvantages present themselves, however, when the use of a .22 is considered. The small round has zero stopping power. People (including former President Reagan) have been shot with .22s and not even realized it until later. A ghoul ~ taking a round to the chest would not even he slowed, let alone i stopped, by this puny projectile. Another problem is the lack of skull penetration at longer ranges. With a .22, you might have to get a little too close for comfort, a fact that could increase stress and degrade the odds of a kill. By the same token, the lack of power in a round fired by a .22 has been called a blessing in disguise. Without the force to punch through the back of a zombie's skull, .22 bullets have been known to ricochet inside the brain case, doing as much damage as any .45. So when it comes time to arm yourself against a looming zombie menace, do not discount the small, almost toylike nature of this nimble, efficient fireann. 9. A c c ~ s s o ~ ~ ~ s Silencers, if attainable, can he a vital attachment to your firearm. Their ability to muffle noise obviates the need for a how, sling, or other nonballistic weapon (essential if on the move). A telescopic sight can increase aim immeasurably, especially for long-range sniper attacks. Laser sights, on the surface, may be your best bet. After all, how hard is it to place a red dot on a ghoul's forehead? The disadvantage is limited battery life. The same goes for night-vision scopes. Although they allow for accurate, long-range hits on zombies after dark, they become nothing more than useless black tubes when the power runs out. Conventional glass and metal sights are the preferable accessory. They may not be fancy, and they may lack the cachet of electronics, but these basic instruments will never let you down. RANGE VERSUS ACCURACY Studies have shown that, given the trauma of battle. the closer a human is to a zombie. the wilder his shooting will be. When practicing with your firearm(s). establish a maximum range for repeated accuracy. Practice against moving targets in ideal (stress-free) conditions. Once that range is fixed. divide it by half. This will be your effective kill zone during an actual attack. Make sure the undead do not move closer than this zone. as your accuracy will erode. If engaging a group. make sure to hit those that enter the zone first before dispatching the others. Do not discount this advice no matter what your previous experience has been. Street-hardened police officers. decorated combat veterans. even -cold-blooded" murderers have ended up as well-chewed meat because they believed in their "nerves" and not their training. EXPLOSIVES Question: What could be better than hurling a hand grenade at a mass of approaching zombies? Answer: almost anything. Anti-personnel explosives kill mainly by shrapnel, metal shards tearing through vital organs. As this will not affect zombies, and the chance of shrapnel penetrating the skull is slim, grenades, bombs, and other explosive tools are inefficient weapons. These devices should not be completely discounted, though. For blasting through doors, creating instant barricades, or even scattering zombie mobs, nothing works better than a jar of gunpowder. FIRE The living dead have no fear of fire. Waving an open flame in a ghoul's face will do nothing to slow or impede its advance. Zombies who have caught fne will neither notice nor react to the engulfing flames in any way. Too many humans have met with tragedy forfailing to understand thatfire is no deterrent to zombies! As a weapon, however, fire is still humanity's greatest ally. Complete incineration is the best way to destroy a zombie once and for all. Burning eliminates not only the body but all traces of Solanurn. However, don't think a flamethrower and several Molotov ****tails are the solution to all your problems. In actual combat, fire can be as deadly a threat as it is a protector. Flesh-human, undead, or othenvise-takes a long time to bum. In the minutes or hours before a blazing zombie succumbs, it will become a walking-or to be perfectly accurate, a shambling-torch. Several cases have been recorded in which burning ghouls have done more damage, even caused more deaths, than they would have with only their fingernails and teeth. Fire itself has no loyalty. Consider the flammable nature of your surroundings, the chance of smoke inhalation, the possibility that a blaze will act as a beacon for other zombies. All these factors must be considered before such a powerful and unpredictable weapon is unleashed. For this reason, fire is mainly considered an attack or flight weapon, and rarely used for static defense. 1. MOLOTOV ****TAILS This term applies to any jar of flammable liquid with a primitive fuse. It is a cheap, effective way to kill multiple zombies at once. If the situation permits-e.g., fleeing an advancing horde, clearing a fireproof structure, or destroying a flammable structure with multiple zombies trapped in it-by all means, bombard the ghouls in question until nothing is left hut ash. 2. DOUSING The act of dousing consists of simply filling a bucket with flammable liquid (gasoline, kerosene, etc.), throwing it at a zombie or zombies, lighting a match, and mnning. If there is room for escape and no danger of residual fire damage, the only drawback to this method is the close proximity required to fully drench the enemy. 3. THE BLOWTORCH The common torch, which consists of a propane tank attached to a nozzle, has neither the heating power nor the fuel supply to bum through a zombie skull. But it can be a convenient firestarter if the undead in question have already been soaked in a flammable liquid. 54 Max Brooks 4. Tm FLAMETHROWER This device, perhaps more than any other, shikes people as the ultimate zombie eliminator. A jet of flame, two hundred feet long, composed of jellied gasoline, can turn an undead crowd into a wailing funeral pyre. So why not acquire one? Why not forsake all other weapons for this man-made firebreathing dragon? The answers are as realistic as they are numerous. The flamethrower was developed purely as a military weapon and is no longer in service with the U.S. Army and Marine Corps. It would be difficult to find any model, let alone one that works properly. Acquiring the fuel is even more dEcult than the thrower. But assuming you can find both, you must consider its practical use. Why cany seven0 pounds of equipment on your back when only a handful of ghouls are loose? A flamethrower's weight makes it a liability if you are on the move. Unless you are in a fixed position or have access to motorized transport, sheer exhaustion will become as dangerous a threat as the walking dead. Common sense would suggest that a flamethrower's place on the battlefield is against overwhelming numbers, swarms of undead numbering in the hundreds if not thousands. If such a horde were, heaven forbid, to exist, chances are they would be facing a much larger, well-equipped government force rather than one private citizen and his trusty (and let's not forget illegal) flamethrower. OTHER WEAPONS Imagination and improvisation are two invaluable assets during clashes with the living dead. By all means, feel free to regard all the The Zombie Survival Guide 55 materials around you as a cache of potential weapons. But always keep in mind a zombie's physiology, and what your homemade device is likely to accomplish. 1. Acm Apart from fire, sulfuric acid is the best way to completely destroy a zombie. Implementing it is another matter. If somehow you have the means to acquire or produce large amounts of sulfuric acid, treat it with the same respect you would an incendiary weapon. Not only is this substance as much a danger to yourself as it is to the undead, the time it takes to dissolve zombie flesh and bone is considerable. Acid should be used as a post-encounter disposal tool rather than a combat weapon. 2. POISON As there are hundreds of thousands of lethal compounds in this world, it is impossible to discuss them all. Instead, we will review some basic rules that govern the physical and physiological makeup of the undead. Zombies are immune to all types of tranquilizers and irritants such as Mace and tear gas. Any compound designed to halt bodily functions would be equally impotent, as the undead no longer require these functions. Zombies do not suffer from heart attacks, nerve paralysis, suffocation, or any other fatal effects caused by poison. 3. BIOLOGICAL WARFARE Wouldn't it be poetic to destroy beings infected by a virus with another virus? Unfortunately, this is not an option. %ruses attack only living cells. They have no effect on the dead. The same is true for all types of bacteria. Several laboratory attempts have been made to culture and spread necmtizing fasciitis (a flesh-eating bacterial disease) among captured zombies. None have proved successful. Experiments are now under way to grow a new strand of bacterium that feeds only on dead flesh. Most experts are skeptical of its success. Tests are ongoing to determine which of the many microorganisms normally involved in decomposition continue to consume flesh in spite of its infected nature. If these microbes can be isolated, reproduced, and delivered in a manner not harmful to its user, they could be humanity's first weapon of mass destruction in the battle against the living dead. 4. ZOOLOGICAL WARFARE Hundreds of creatures, great and small, feed on carrion. Employing some of these animals to devour the dead before they devour the living might seem the ideal solution. Unfortunately, all species, from hyenas to fire ants, instinctively avoid zombies. The highly toxic nature of Solanum appears to be encoded in the survival patterns of the animal kingdom. This mysterious warning signal that Solanum emits, be it an odor or some kind of "vibe" long forgotten by humans, is impossible to mask by any known substance. (See "1911 A.D., Vitre, Louisiana," pages 215-16.) 5. ELECTROCUTION As the zombie's muscular system is basically that of a human, electricity does have the ability to temporarily stun or paralyze its body. Lethal results have been seen only in extreme cases such as power lines used to completely char a zombie's brain. This is not a "wonder weapon"-the current that runs through power lines is enough to burn almost any organic matter, living or undead, to a crisp. It requires twice the voltage to stun a zombie that it does to stun a human, so common taser guns are ineffective. Electricity bas been used to create a temporary banier with water-filled, electrified ditches to keep ghouls paralyzed long enough for a secondary fatal method to be employed. Several such incidents have been recorded over the years. 6. RADIATION Experiments are now being conducted to test the effects of microwaves and other electromagnetic signals on the brains of the undead, on the theory that such a device could generate 0 massive, instant, lethal tumors in a zombie's gray matter. Research is still in its early stages, and results have so far been inconclusive. The only known instance when zombies came into contact with gamma radiation occurred during the notorious Khotan Incident. (See "1987 A.D., Khotan, China," pages 234-35.) In this event, the ghouls were not only unaffected by rads that would have killed humans, but they threatened to spread their contamination throughout the province. For the first time, the world glimpsed a new and even deadlier threat: the radioactive zombie. As much as this sounds like the product of bad 1950s science fiction, it is, or was, a very real and historically significant fact. According to records, the radioactive ghouls possessed no enhanced abilities or magical powers. The threat they posed lay in their ability to spread deadly radiation to everything and everyone they touched. Even people who drank from a water supply the ghouls had touched died soon afterward from radiation sickness. Fortunately, the outbreak was crushed by the overwhelming power of the Chinese army. Not only did this solution put an end to this new danger-it prevented the disaster of the Khotan reactor going critical. 7. GENETIC WARFARE Some recent proposals recommend a variety of genetic weapons in the war against the undead. The first step would be to map the genetic sequence of Solanum. Next, an agent would be developed to rewrite that sequence, ordering the virus to suspend its attack on human tissue, turn on itself, or simply self-destruct. Instead of retraining the zombie, we would retrain the virus that controls the zombie. If successful, any of these agents would be a revolutionary breakthrough in combating the undead. Through genetic engineering we could find an actual cure. Celebration of this breakthrough, however, will have to wait. The science of genetic therapy is still in its infancy. Even with media attention and massive financial resources, both of which are nonexistent, an agent to combat the virus will have to remain a theory. 8. NAN~HERAPY Nanotechnology, the study of microscopic machinery, is only in its adolescence. At present, experimental computer chips are being made that are no bigger than a molecule! One day robots that small will be able to perform tasks within the human body. These nanobots, or whatever the accepted term will be, will one day destroy cancer cells, repair damaged tissue, even attack and destroy hostile viruses. Theoretically, there is no reason why they could not he injected by the billions into a recently infected human to identify the Solanum virus and eradicate it from the system. When will this technology be perfected? When will it find its way into the medical profession? When will it be adapted for combating Solanum? Only time will tell. ARMOR Speed and agility should be your first defense against the walking dead. Armor will not only decrease both these advantages that you have over zombies, but it will also sap your energy during prolonged conflict. Add the risk of dehydration, and the prospect seems even less The Zombie Sunival Guide 59 attractive. One final, less obvious disadvantage to annor is not physical but psychological: People wearing protective garb tend to feel more confident and therefore take greater risks than those in simple clothing. This artificial bravery has resulted in too many senseless deaths. Simply put, the best protection from a zombie bite is distance. If for some reason you insist on some type of protective gear, the following summary will provide all the information necessq for prudent decision-making. 1. PLATE MAIL This could be defined as the classic "suit of armor." The term itself conjures up images of seemingly invincible knights dressed from head to toe in shining steel. With so much protection, wouldn't one be able to wander among the undead ranks, taunting them at will with no danger of repercussion? In truth, standard medieval armor is far from invulnerable. The leather or metal joints that hold its many pieces together can be tom apart by an individual's persistent hands, to say nothing of a mob. Even intact, steel suits are heavy, cumbersome, suffocating, dehydrating, and extremely noisy. If possible, study and wear a real suit of armor and practice fighting in it against even one (mock) attacker. You will find the experience uncomfortable at best, excmciating at worst. Now imagine five, ten, fifty attackers, all converging on your position, grabbing at the plates, pulling them in all directions. Without the speed to outrun them or the agility to avoid them, even the necessary vision to find and strike them, yon will almost certainly end up as little more than canned food. 2. CHAW Man If worn from head to toe, this simpler form of armor actually does provide some protection from zombie bites. Teeth will be unable to penetrate its links, thereby saving you from infection. Its flexibility allows for greater movement and speed; its lack of a faceplate allows for greater visibility. Its vev nature (unlike solid plates) allows the skin to breathe and thereby cuts down on dehydration and overheating. Drawbacks, however, are still plentiful. Unless you have been training with this armor for years, your combat effectiveness is bound to be impaired. Its weight can still increase exhaustion. Its general discomThe fort can lead to unwanted distraction, something that must be avoided in battle. Although chain mail may keep you safe from infection, the pressure of a zombie bite may still be enough to crack bones, tear muscles, or rip flesh within the armor. As with plate mail, the clanking of so many chain links will signal to any nearby zombies that prey has anived. Unless you want your presence announced, discount this idea entirely. On a practical note, if you choose chain mail, make sure it is battle-quality! Much of the medieval or ancient armor produced today is for decoration or stage performance. For this reason, less expensive alloys are used in their production. When purchasing your chain mail, always ensure, through inspection and careful testing, that it can withstand a zombie's bite. 3. THE SHARK SUIT Although designed for protection against shark bites, this mesh bodysuit can stand up to the toughest undead jaws. Made of either high-tensile steel or titanium, it provides twice the protection of chain mail with half the weight. Noise, however, is still a factor, as well as physical discomfort and decreased speed and agility. Shark suits might come in handy if hunting the dead underwater. (See "Underwater Battles," pages 144-54.) 4. HELMETS This type of armor would be invaluable to ghouls, if only they knew enough to wear them. To humans, they serve no purpose other than obstructing vision. Unless your battle is taking place in a "hard hat area:' avoid this cumbersome waste of space. 5. BULLETPROOF VESTS Because almost all combat-related zombie bites occur on the limbs, this and other torso armor are a total waste of time. One might consider a bulletproof vest only in a chaotic situation in which there is a chance of being shot by your own people. Even in this situation, the misguided sniper would probably be going for a head shot. 6. KEVLAR COVERS In recent years, law enforcement have begun to equip officers with this light, ultra-strong material. While thicker, harder plates are used in vests to stop bullets, a thinner, more flexible version is employed to stop blades and the occasional guard dog. This new version, if covering the lower legs and forearms, can help to reduce the risk of zombie bites in close-quarter situations. If you do acquire Kevlar covers, make sure to wear them only during battle, and do not draw any false bravery from them! Many humans in the past have believed that Kevlar or similar kinds of body armor gave them carte blanche to take unnecessary risks. No armor in the world can protect a human from that kind of stupidity. As stated before, your goal is to survive, only survive, and never be a hero. Bravado in combat is the surest way to endanger yourself and those around you! 7. TIGHT CLOTHES AND SHORT HAIR Cold, hard figures have shown that when battling the living dead, nothing has saved more victims than basic, tight clothing and closely cropped hair. The simple fact is that ghouls attack by reaching out to grab their victims, pulling them in, then biting. Logic dictates that the less material a person offers up for grabs, the better his or her chances will be. Baggy clothing, complete with pockets, straps, or anything that might hang freely, will be a convenient handle for grasping zombie claws. Anyone who has worked in factories or with some kind of heavy machinery will tell yon the importance of never letting anything hang loose. Tight clothing, obviously within comfort limits, will help to eliminate this danger. Hair can be a similar hazard. Many times, victims have been seized and even dragged by their hair to a gruesome end. Tying one's hair back before a conflict may work temporarily. However, a short haircut, one inch or shorter, is ideal for hand-to-hand combat. Edited December 25, 2006 by Mortis Nai How to Win and Informal Debate How to Defuse an argument Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deraldin Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Damn it, Nartwak & Raven have been compromised! And I highly recommend some of you read the actual Zombie Survival Guide as it may just save your life in all this, I keep mine on me at all times. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Nartwak may be a zombie, but I'm pretty sure Raven is only a vampire. I keep my copy of the ZSG next to my bed. Makes for some nice bedtime reading. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atreides Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Dudes, you should start by defining what a zombie is, how they spread and what its weak points are. I see head boinking and what to use/not to use but no details. For example you may want to tell the dudes if melee's a bad idea because the zombie virus/bacteria and other general infections from decaying flesh would be nasty if it gets on you from fluid contact. Spreading beauty with my katana. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortis Nai Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Dudes, you should start by defining what a zombie is, how they spread and what its weak points are. I see head boinking and what to use/not to use but no details. For example you may want to tell the dudes if melee's a bad idea because the zombie virus/bacteria and other general infections from decaying flesh would be nasty if it gets on you from fluid contact. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sorry for the formatting but im not going to type out 30 pages by hand. THE UNDEAD: MYTHS AND REALITIES He comes from the grave, his body a home of worms andjilth. No life in his eyes, no warmth of his shn, no beating of his breast. His soul, as empty and dark as the night sky. He laughs at the blade, spits at the arrow, for they will not harm hisflesh. For eternity, he will walk the earth, smelling the sweet blood of the living, feasting upon the bones of the damned. Beware, for he is the living dead. ZOM-BZE: (Zom'be) n. also ZOM-BIES pl. I. An animated corpse that feeds on living humanjlesh. 2. A voodoo spell that raises the dead. 3. A Voodoo snake god. 4. One who moves or acts in a daze "like a zombie." [a word of West African origin] What is a zombie? How are they created? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What are their needs, their desires? Why are they hostile to humanity? Before discussing any survival techniques, you must first learn what you are trying to survive. We must begin by separating fact from fiction. The walking dead are neither a work of "black magic" nor any other supernatural force. Their origin stems from a virus known as Solanum, a Latin word used by Jan Vanderhaven, who fust "discovered" the disease. SOLANUM: THE VIRUS Solannm works by traveling through the bloodstream, from the initial point of entry to the brain. Through means not yet fully understood, the virus uses the cells of the frontal lobe for replication, destroying them in the process. During this period, all bodily functions cease. By stopping the heart, the infected subject is rendered ''dead." The brain, however, remains alive hut dormant, while the virus mutates its cells into a completely new organ. The most critical trait of this new organ is its independence from oxygen. By removing the need for this allimportant resource, the nndead brain can utilize, but is in no way dependent upon, the complex support mechanism of the human body. Once mutation is complete, this new organ reanimates the body into a form that bears little resemblance (physiologically speaking) to the original corpse. Some bodily functions remain constant, others operate in a modified capacity, and the remainder shut down completely. This new organism is a zombie, a member of the living dead. 1. SOURCE U~~fortunateleyx, tensive research has yet to find an isolated example of Solanum in nature. Water, air, and soil in all ecosystems, from all parts of the world, have turned up negative, as have their accompanying flora and fauna. At the time of this writing, the search continues. 2. SYMPTOMS The timetable below outlines the process of an infected human (give or take several hours, depending on the individual). Hour 1: Pain and discoloration (brown-puple) of the infected area Immediate clotting of the wound @rovided the infection came h m a wound). Hour 5: Fever (99-103 degrees F), chills, slight dementia, vomiting, acute pain in the joints. Hour 8: Numbing of extremities and infected area, increased fever (103-106 degrees F), increased dementia, loss of muscular coordination. Hour 11: Paralysis in the lower body, overall numbness, slowed heart rate. Hour 16: Coma. Hour 20: Heart stoppage. Zero brain activity Hour 23: Reanimation. 3. TRANSFERENCE Solanum is 100 percent communicahle and 100 percent fatal. Fortunately for the human race, the virus is neither waterborne nor airborne. Humans have never been known to contract the virus from elements in nature. Infection can occur only through direct fluidic contact. A zombie bite, although by far the most recognizable means of transference, is by no means the only one. Humans have been infected by brushing their open wounds against those of a zombie or by being splattered by its remains after an explosion. Ingestion of infected flesh (provided the person has no open mouth sores), however, results in pemanent death rather than infection. Infected flesh has proven to be highly toxic. No infomation-historical, experimental, or othenvise-has surfaced regarding the results of sexual relations with an undead specimen, but as previously noted, the nature of Solanum suggests a high danger of infection. Warning against such an act would be useless, as the only people deranged enough to try would he unconcerned for their own safety. Many have argued that, given the congealed nature of undead bodily fluids, the chances of infection from a non-bite contact should be low. However, it must be remembered that even one organism is enough to begin the cycle. 4. CROSS-SPECIES INFECTION Solannm is fatal to all living creatures, regardless of size, species, or ecosystem. Reanimation, however, takes place only in humans. Studies have shown that Solanum infecting a non-human brain will die within hours of the death of its host, making the carcass safe to handle. Infected animals expire before the virus can replicate throughout their bodies. Infection from insect bites such as from mosquitoes can also he discounted. Experiments have proven that all parasitic insects can sense and will reject an infected host 100 percent of the time. 5. TREATMENT Once a human is infected, little can be done to save him or her. Because Solanum is a virus and not a bacteria, antibiotics have no effect. Immunization, the only way to combat a virus, is equally useless, as even the most minute dosage will lead to a full-blown infection. Genetic research is under way. Goals range from stronger human antibodies to resistant cell structure to a counter-virus designed to identify and destroy Solanum. This and other, more radical treatments are still in the earliest stages, with no foreseeable success in the near future. Battlefield experiences have led to the immediate severing of the infected limb (provided this is the location of the bite), but such treatments are dubious at best, with less than a 10 percent success rate. Chances are, the infected human was doomed from the moment the virus entered his or her system. Should the infected human choose suicide, he should remember that the brain must be eliminated first. Cases have been recorded in which recently infected subjects, deceased by means other than the virus, will nonetheless reanimate. Such cases usually occur when the subject expires after the fifth hour of infection. Regardless, any person killed after being bitten or otherwise infected by the undead should be immediately disposed of. (See "Disposal," page 19.) 6. REANIMATING THE ALREADY DECEASED It has been suggested that fresh human corpses could reanimate if Solanum were introduced after their demise. This is a fallacy. Zombies ignore necrotic flesh and therefore could not transfer the virus. Experiments conducted during and after World War I1 (see "Recorded Attacks," pages 216m have proven that injecting Solanum into a cadaver would be futile because a stagnant bloodstream could not transport the virus to the brain. Injection directly into a dead brain would be equally useless, as the expired cells could not respond to the virus. Solanum does not create life-it alters it. ZOMBIE ATTRIBUTES 1. PHYSICAL ABILITIES Too often, the undead have been said to possess superhuman powers: unusual strength, lightning speed, telepathy, etc. Stories range from zombies flying through the air to their scaling vertical surfaces like spiders. While these traits might make for fascinating drama, the individual ghoul is far from a magical, omnipotent demon. Never forget that the body of the undead is, for all practical purposes, human. What changes do occur are in the way this new, reanimated body is used by the now-infected brain. There is no way a zombie could fly unless the human it used to be could fly. The same goes for projecting force fields, telepottation, moving through solid objects, transforming into a wolf, breathing fire, or a variety of other mystical talents amibuted to the walking dead. Imagine the human body as a tool kit. The somnambulist brain has those tools, and only those tools, at its disposal. It cannot create new ones out of thin air. But it can, as you will see, use these tools in unconventional combinations, or push their durability beyond normal human limits. A. Sight The eyes of a zombie are no different than those of a normal human. While still capable (given their rate of decomposition) of transmitting visual signals to the brain, how the brain interprets these signals is another matter. Studies are inconclusive regarding the undead's visual abilities. They can spot prey at distances comparable to a human, but whether they can distinguish a human from one of their own is still up for debate. One theory suggests that the movements made by humans, which are quicker and smoother than those of the undead, is what causes them to stand out to the zombie eye. Experiments have been done in which humans have attempted to confuse approaching ghouls by mimicking their motions and adopting a shambling, awkward limp. To date, none of these attempts have succeeded. It has been suggested that zombies possess night vision, a fact that explains their skill at nocturnal hunting. This theory has been debunked by the fact that all zombies are expert night feeders, even those without eyes. B. Sound There is no question that zombies have excellent hearing. Not only can they detect sound-they can determine its direction. The basic range appears to be the same as that for humans. Experiments with extreme high and low frequencies have yielded negative results. Tests have also shown that zombies are attracted by any sounds, not just those made by living creatures. It has been recorded that ghouls will notice sounds ignored by living humans. The most likely, if unproven, explanation is that zombies depend on all their senses equally. Humans are sightoriented from birth, depending on other senses only if the primary one is lost. Perhaps this is not a handicap shared by the walking dead. If so, it would explain their ability to hunt, fight, and feed in total darkness. C. Smell Unlike with sound, the undead have a more acute sense of smell. In both combat situations and laboratory tests, they have been able to distinguish the smell of living prey above all others. In many cases, and given ideal wind conditions, zomhies have been known to smell fresh corpses from a distance of more than a mile. Again, this does not mean that ghouls have a greater sense of smell than humans, simply that they rely on it more. It is not known exactly what particular secretion signals the presence of prey: sweat, pheromones, blood, etc. In the past, people seeking to move undetected through infested areas have attempted to "mask" their human scent with perfumes, deodorants, or other strong-smelling chemicals. None were successful. Experiments are now under way to synthesize the smells of living creatures as a decoy or even repellent to the walking dead. A successful product is still years away. D. Taste Little is known about the altered taste buds of the walking dead. Zombies do have the ability to tell human flesh apart from that of animals, and they prefer the former. Ghouls also have a remarkable ability to reject carrion in favor of freshly killed meat. A human body that has been dead longer than twelve to eighteen hours will be rejected as food. The same goes for cadavers that have been embalmed or otherwise preserved. Whether this has anything to do with "taste" is not yet certain. It may have to do with smell or, perhaps, another instinct that has not been discovered. As to exactly why human flesh is preferable, science has yet to find an answer to this confounding, frustrating, terrifying question. E. Touch Zombies have, literally, no physical sensations. All nerve receptors throughout the body remain dead after reanimation. This is truly their greatest and most temfying advantage over the living. We, as humans, have the ability to experience physical pain as a signal of bodily damage. Our brain classifies such sensations, matches them to the experience that instigated them, and then files the information away for use as a warning against future ham. It is this gift of physiology and instinct that has allowed us to survive as a species. It is why we value virtues such as courage, which inspires people to perform actions despite warnings of danger. The inability to recognize and avoid pain is what makes the waking dead so formidable. Wounds will not be noticed and, therefore, will not deter an attack. Even if a zombie's body is severely damaged, it will continue to attack until nothing remains. E Sixth Sense Historical research, coupled with laboratory and field observation, have shown that the walking dead have been known to attack even when all their sensory organs have been damaged or completely decomposed. Does this mean that zombies possess a sixth sense? Perhaps. Living humans use less than 5 percent of their brain capacity. It is possible that the virus can stimulate another sensoly ability that has been forgotten by evolution. This theory is one of the most hotly debated in the war against the undead. So far, no scientific evidence has been found to suppoa either side. G. Healing Despite legends and ancient folklore, undead physiology has been proven to possess no powers of regeneration. Cells that are damaged stay damaged. Any wounds, no matter what their size and nature, will remain for the duration of that body's reanimation. A variety of medical treatments have been attempted to stimulate the healing process in captured ghouls. None were successful. This inability to self-repair, something that we as living beings take for granted, is a severe disadvantage to the undead. For example, every time we physically exert ourselves, we tear our muscles. With time, these muscles rebuild to a stronger state than before. A ghoul's muscle mass will remain damaged, reducing its effectiveness every time it is used. H. Decomposition The average zombie "life span"-how long it is able to function before completely rotting away-is estimated at three to five years. As fantastic as this sounds-a human corpse able to ward off the natural effects of decay-its cause is rooted in basic biology. When a human body dies, its flesh is immediately set upon by billions of microscopic organisms. These organisms were always present, in the external environment arid within the body itself. In life, the immune system stood as a harrier between these organisms and their target. In death, that barrier is removed. The organisms begin multiplying exponentially as they proceed to eat and, thereby, break down the corpse on a cellular level. The smell and discoloration associated with any decaying meat are the biological process of these microbes at work. When you order an "aged" steak, you are ordering a piece of meat that has begun to rot, its formerly toughened flesh softened by microorganisms breaking down its sturdy fiber. Within a short time, that steak, like a human corpse, will dissolve to nothing, leaving behind only material too hard or innutritious for any microbe, such as hone, teeth, nails, and hair. This is the normal cycle of life, nature's way of recycling nutrients back into the food chain. To halt this process, and preserve dead tissue, it is necessary to place it in an environment unsuitable for bacteria, such as in extreme low or high temperatures, in toxic chemicals such as formaldehyde, or, in this case, to saturate it with Solanum. Almost all the microbe species involved in normal human decomposition have repeatedly rejected flesh infected by the virus, effecThe tively embalming the zombie. Were this not the case, combating the living dead would be as easy as avoiding them for several weeks or even days until they rotted away to hones. Research has yet to discover the exact cause of this condition. It has been determined that at least some microbe species ignore the repelling effects of Solanum-otherwise, the undead would remain perfectly preserved forever. It has also been determined that natural conditions such as moisture and temperature play an important role as well. Undead that prowl the bayous of Louisiana are unlikely to last as long as those in the cold, dry Gobi desert. Extreme situations, such as deep freezing or immersion in - preservative fluid, could, hypothetically, allow an undead specimen to exist indef~telyT. hese techniques have been known to allow zombies to function for decades, if not centuries. (See "Recorded Attacks," pages 193ff.) Decomposition does not mean that a member of the walking dead will simply drop. Decay may affect various parts of the body at different times. Specimens have been found with brains intact but nearly disintegrated bodies. Others with partially rotted brains may control some bodily functions but be completely paalyzed in others. A popular theory has recently circulated that attempts to explain the story of the ancient Egyptian mummy as one of the first examples of an embalmed zombie. The preservation techniques allowed it to fuuction several thousand years after being entombed. Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of ancient Egypt would find this story almost laughably untrue: The most important and complicated step in preparing a pharaoh for burial was the removal of the brain! I. Digestion Recent evidence has once and for all mscounted the theory that human flesh is the fuel for the undead. A zombie's digestive tract is completely dormant. The complex system that processes food, extracts nutrition, and excretes waste does not factor into a zombie's physiology. Autopsies conducted on neutralized undead have shown that their "food" lies in its original, undigested state at all sections of the tract. This partially chewed, slowly rotting matter will continue to accumulate, as the zom12 hie devours more victims, until it is forced through the anus, or literally bursts through the stomach or intestinal lining. While this more dramatic example of non-digestion is rare, hundreds of eyewitness reports have confirmed undead to have distended bellies. One captured and dissected specimen was found to contain 21 1 pounds of flesh within its system! Even rarer accounts have confirmed that zombies continue to feed long after their digestive tracts have exploded from within. J. Respiration The lungs of the undead continue to function in that they draw air into and expel it from the hody. This function accounts for a zombie's signature moan. What the lungs and body chemistry fail to accomplish, however, is to extract oxygen and remove carbon dioxide. Given that Solanum obviates the need for both of these functions, the entire human respiratory system is obsolete in the hody of a ghoul. This explains how the living dead can "walk underwater" or survive in environments lethal to humans. Their brains, as noted earlier, are oxygenindependent. K. Circulation It would be inaccurate to say that zomhies have no heart. It would not he inaccurate, however, to say that they find no use for it. The circulatory system of the undead is little more than a network of useless tubes filled with congealed hlood. The same applies to the lymphatic system as well as all other bodily fluids. Although this mutation would appear to give the undead one more advantage over humanity, it has actually proved to he a godsend. The lack of fluid mass prevents easy transmission of the virus. Were this not true, hand-to-hand combat would he nearly impossible, as the defending human would almost certainly he splattered with hlood andlor other fluids. L. Reproduction Zombies are sterile creatures. Their sexual organs are necrotic and impotent. Attempts have been made to fertilize zombie eggs with human sperm and vice versa. None has been succcssful. The undead have also shown no signs of sexual desire, either for their own species or for the living. Until research can prove otherwise, humanity's greatest fear-the dead reproducing the dead-is a comforting impossibility. M. Strength Ghouls possess the same brute force as the living. What power can be exerted depends greatly on the individual zombie. What muscle mass a person has in life would be all he possesses in death. Unlike a living body, adrenal glands have not been known to function in the dead, denying zombies the temporary burst of power we humans enjoy. The one solid advantage the living dead do possess is amazing stamina. Imagine working out, or any other act of physical exertion. Chances are that pain and exhaustion will dictate your limits. These factors do not apply to the dead. They will continue an act, with the same dynamic energy, until the muscles supporting it literally disintegrate. i f While this makes for progressively weaker ghouls, it allows for an allpowerful first attack. Many barricades that would have exhausted three 1 or even four physically fit humans have fallen to a single determined zombie. N. Speed The "walking" dead tend to move at a slouch or limp. Even without injuries or advanced decomposition, their lack of coordination makes for an unsteady suide. Speed is mainly determined by leg length. Taller ghouls have longer strides than their shorter counterparts. Zombies appear to be incapable of running. The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely one step per 1.5 seconds. Again, as with strength, the dead's advantage over the living is their tirelessness. Humans who believe they have outrun their nndead pursuers might do well to remember the story of the tortoise and the hare, adding, of course, that in this instance the hare stands a good chance of being eaten alive. 0. Agility The average living human possesses a dexterity level 90 percent greater than the strongest ghoul. Some of this comes from the general stiffness of necrotic muscle tissue (hence their awkward stride). The rest is due to their primitive brain functions. Zomhies have little handeye coordination, one of their greatest weaknesses. No one has ever observed a zombie jumping, either from one spot to another or simply up and down. Balancing on a narrow surface is similarly beyond their ahility. Swimming is also a skill reserved for the living. The theory has been put forth that, if an undead corpse were to he bloated enough to rise to the surface, it could present a floating hazard. This is rare, however, as the slow rate of decomposition would not allow by-product gas to accumulate. Zombies who walk or fall into bodies of water will more likely find themselves wandering aimlessly across the bottom until eventually dissolving. They can be successful climbers, but only in certain circumstances. If zombies perceive prey above them, for example, in the second story of a house, they will always attempt to climb to it. Zombies will try to scale any surface no matter how unfeasahle or even impossible. In all but the easiest situations, these attempts have met with failure. Even in the case of ladders, when simple hand-over-hand coordination is required, only one in four zombies will succeed. 2. BEHAWOWLPA TTERNS A. Intelligence It has been proven, time and again, that our greatest advantage over the undead is our ahility to think. The mental capacity of the average zombie ranks somewhere beneath that of an insect. On no occasion have they shown any ability to reason or employ logic. Attempting to accomplish a task, failing, then by trial and error discovering a new solution, is a skill shared by many members of the animal kingdom hut lost on the walking dead. Zombies have repeatedly failed laboratory intelligence tests set at the level of rodents. One field case showed a human standing at one end of a collapsed bridge with several dozen zombies on the orher side. One by one, the walking dead tumbled over the edge in a futile attempt to reach him. At no time did any of them realize what was happening and change their tactics in any way. Contrruy to myth and speculation, zombies have never been observed using tools of any kind. Even picking up a rock to use as a weapon is beyond their grasp. This simple task would prove the basic thought process involved in realizing that the rock is a more efficient weapon than the naked hand. Ironically, the age of artificial intelligence has enabled us to identify more easily with the mind of the zombie than that of our more "primitive" ancestors. With care exceptions, even the most advanced computers do not have the ability to think on their own. They do what they are programmed to do, nothing more. Imagine a computer programmed to execute one function. This function cannot be paused, modified, or erased. No new data can be stored. No new commands can he installed. This computer will perform that one function, over and over, until its power source eventually shuts down. This is the zombie brain. An instinct-driven, unitask machine that is impervious to tampering and can only be destroyed. B. Emotions Feelings of any kind are not known to the walking dead. Every form of psychological warfare, from attempts at enraging the undead to provoking pity have all met with disaster. Joy, sadness, confidence, anxiety, love, hatred, fear-all of these feelings and thousands more that make up the human "heart" are as useless to the living dead as the organ of the same name. Who knows if this is humanity's greatest weakness or strength? The debate continues, and probably will forever. C. Memories A modem conceit is that a zombie retains the knowledge of its former life. We hear stories of the dead returning to their places of residence or work, operating familiar machinery, or even showing acts of mercy to loved ones. In trnth, not a shred of proof exists to support this wishful thinking. Zombies could not possibly retain memories of their for mer lives in either the conscious or subconscious mind, because neither exist! A ghoul will not be distracted by the family pet, living relatives, familiar surroundings, etc. No matter who a person was in his former life, that person is gone, replaced by a mindless automaton with no instinct other than for feeding. This begs the question: Why do zombies prefer urban areas to the countryside? First, the undead do not prefer cities, but simply remain where they are reanimated. Second, the main reason zomhies tend to stay in cities instead of fanning out into the countryside is because an urban zone holds the highest concentration of prey. D. Physical Needs Other than hunger (discussed later), the dead have shown none of the physical wants or needs expressed in mortal life. Zombies have never been observed to sleep or rest under any circumstances. They have not reacted to extreme heat or cold. In harsh weather, they have never sought shelter. Even something as simple as thirst is unknown to the living dead. Defying all laws of science, Solanum has created what could be described as a completely self-sufficient organism. E. Communication Zombies have no language skills. Although their vocal cords are capable of speech, their brain is not. The only vocal ability appears to be a deep-throated moan. This moan is released when zombies identify prey. The sound will remain low and steady until physical contact is made. It will then shift in tone and volume as the zombie commences its attack. This eerie sound, so typically associated with the walking dead, serves as a rallying cry for other zombies and, as has been recently discovered, is a potent psychological weapon. (See "On the Defense," page 74.) E Social Dynamics Theories have always proliferated that the undead function as a collective force, from an army controlled by Satan to an insect-like pheromone-driven hive to the most recent notion that they achieve group consensus by telepathy. The truth is that zombies have no social organization to speak of. There is no hierarchy, no chain of command, no drive toward any type of collectivization. A horde of the undead, regardless of size, regardless of appearance, is simply a mass of individuals. If several hundred ghouls converge on a victim's location, it is because each one is drawn by its own instinct. Zombies appear to be unaware of one another. Individuals have never been observed to react to the sight of one another at any range. This goes back to the question of sense: How does a zombie distinguish between one of its own and a human or other prey at the same range? The answer has yet to he found. Zombies do avoid one another in the same way they avoid inanimate objects. When they hump into one another, they make no attempt to connect or communicate. Zombies feasting on the same corpse will tug repeatedly on the meat in question rather than shove a competitor out of the way. The only suggestion of communal effort is seen in notorious swarm attacks: the moan of a ghoul calling others within earshot. Once they hear the wail, other walking dead will almost always converge on its source. An early study theorized that this was a deliberate act, that a scout used its moan to signal the others to attack. However, we now how that it happens purely by accident. The ghoul that moans at the detection of prey does so as an instinctive reaction, not as an alert. G. Hunting Zombies are migratory organisms, with no regard for temtory or concept of home. They will travel miles and perhaps, given time, cross continents in their search for food. Their hunting pattern is random. Ghouls will feed at night and during the day. They will stumble through an area rather than deliberately searching it. Certain zones or structures will not he singled out as more likely to contain prey. For example, some have been known to search farmhouses and other rural structures while others in the same group have moved by without even a glance. Urban zones take more time to explore, which is why the undead remain longer in these areas, hut no building will take precedence over another. Zombies appear to be totally unaware of their sur roundings. They do not, for example, move their eyes in a way that would take in the information of a new setting. Shuffling silently, with a thousand-yard stare, they will wander aimlessly, regardless of location, until prey is detected. As discussed earlier, the undead possess an uncauny ability to home in on a victim's precise location. Once contact is made, the previously silent, oblivious automaton transforms into something more closely related to a guided missile. The head turns immediately in the direction of its victim. The jaw drops, lips retract, and, from the depths of its diaphragm, comes the moan. Once contact is made, zombies cannot be distracted by any means. They will continue to pursue their prey, stopping only if they lose contact, make a successful kill, or are destroyed. H. Motivation Why do the undead prey upon the living? If it has been proven that human flesh serves no nutritional purpose, why does their instinct drive them to murder? The truth eludes us. Modem science, combined with historical data, has shown that living humans are not the only delights on the undead menu. Rescue teams entering an infested area have consistently reported them stripped of all life. Any creatures, no matter what their size or species, will he consumed by an attacking zombie. Human flesh, however, will always he preferable to other life forms. One experiment presented a captured specimen with two identical cubes of meat: one human, one animal. The zombie repeatedly chose the human. Reasons for this are still unknown. What can be confirmed, beyond any shadow of doubt, is that instinct brought on by Solanum drives the undead to kill and devour any living creature they discover. There appear to be no exceptions. I. Killing the Dead While destroying a zombie may be simple, it is far from easy. As we have seen, zombies require none of the physiological functions that humans need to survive. Destruction or severe damage of the circulatory, digestive, or respiratory system would do nothing to a member of the walking dead, as these functions no longer support the brain. Simply put, there are thousands of ways to kill a humanand only one to kill a zombie. The brain must be obliterated, by any means possible. J. Disposal Studies have shown that Solanum can still inhabit the body of a terminated zombie for up to fortyeight hours. Exercise extreme care when disposing of undead corpses. The head in particular possesses the most serious hazard, given its concentration of the virus. Never handle an undead corpse without protective clothing. Treat it as you would any toxic, highly lethal material. Cremation is the safest, most effective way of disposal. Despite rumors that a pile of burning corpses will spread Solannm in a cloud of smoking plague, common sense would dictate that any virus is unable to survive intense heat, to say nothing of an open flame. K. Domestication? To reiterate, the zombie brain has proved, so far, to he tamper-proof. Experiments ranging from chemicals to surgery to electromagnetic waves have yielded negative results. Behavioral modification therapy and other such attempts to train the living dead like some kind of pack animal have similarly met with failure. Again, the machine cannot be rewired. It will exist as is, or it will not exist at all. THE VOODOO ZOMBIE If zombies are the creation of a virus and not black magic, then how does this explain the so-called "voodoo zombie," a person who has died, been raised from his grave, and is doomed to spend eternity as a slave of the living? Yes, it is trne that the word "zombie" originally comes from the Kimbnndn word "nzfimbe," a term describing a dead person's soul, and yes, zombies and zombification are integral parts of the Afro- Caribbean religion known as voodoo. However, the origin of their name is the only similarity between the voodoo zombie and the viral zombie. Although it is said that voodoo houngans (priests) can turn humans into zombies by magical means, the practice is rooted in bard, undeniable science. "Zombie powder," the tool used by the houngan for zombification, contains a very powerful neurotoxin (the exact ingredients are a closely guarded secret). The toxin temporarily paralyzes the human nervous system, creating a state of extreme hibernation. With the heart, lungs, and all other bodily functions operating at minimal levels, it would be understandable if an inexperienced coroner declared the paralyzed subject to be dead. Many humans have been buried while in such a state, only to awaken screaming in the pitch darkness of their coffin. So what makes this living human being a zombie? The answer is simple: brain damage. Many who are buried alive quickly use up the air inside their coffins. Those that are recovered (if they are lucky) almost always suffer brain damage from lack of oxygen. These poor souls shamble about with little cognitive skills, or, indeed, free will, and are often mistaken for the living dead. How can yon distinguish a voodoo zombie from the genuine article? The telltale signs are obvious. 1. Voodoo zombies show emotion. People suffering from zombie powder-induced brain damage are still capable of all normal human feelings. They smile, cry, even growl with anger if hurt or otherwise provoked (something real zombies would never do). 2. Voodoo zombies exhibit thought. As has been stated before, when a real zombie encounters you it will immediately home in like a smart bomb. A voodoo zombie will take a moment to try to figure out who or what you are. Maybe it will come toward you, maybe it will recoil, maybe it will continue its observation as its damaged brain attempts to analyze the information given it. What a voodoo zombie will not do is raise its arms, drop its jaw, unleash a hellish moan, and stumble directly toward you. 3. Voodoo zombies feel pain. A voodoo zombie that trips and falls will undoubtedly hold its bruised knee and whimper. Likewise, one already suffering from some other wound will nurse it, or, at the very least, be aware of the wound's existence. Voodoo zombies will not ignore deep gashes in their bodies like a real zombie would. 4. Voodoo zombies recognize fire. This is not to say that they are afraid of open flames. Some that have suffered severe brain damage may not remember what lire is. They will stop to examine it, perhaps even reach out to touch it, hut they will recoil once they realize it causes pain. 5. Voodoo zombies recognize their surroundings. Unlike real zombies, who only recognize prey, voodoo zombies will react to sudden changes in light, sound, taste, and smell. Voodoo zombies have been observed watching television or brightly flashing lights, listening to music, cringing at thunder, and even taking notice of one another. This last fact has been critical in several cases of mis-identification. Had the zombies in question not reacted to each other (they looked at each other, made noises, even touched each other's faces), they might have been accidentally exterminated. 6. Voodoo zombies do NOT have bypersense. A human who has suffered the debilitating effects of zombie powder is still a sightdependent human. He cannot operate perfectly in the dark, hear a footstep at 500 ya~dso, r smell a living being on the wind. Voodoo zombies can actually be surprised by someone walking up behind them. This is not recommended, however, as a frightened zombie might react in anger. 7. Voodoo zombies can communicate. While this is not always the case, many of these individuals can respond to audiovisual signals. Many understand words; some even comprehend simple sentences. Many voodoo zombies possess the ability to speak, simply, of course, and rarely for extended conversations. 8. Voodoo zombies can be controlled. While not always true, many brain damaged humans have lost much of their self-realization, making them very susceptible to suggestion. Simply shouting for a subject to halt or even go away can he enough to get rid of a voodoo zombie. This has created the dangerous situation of confused people believing they could control or train true zombies. Several times headstrong humans have insisted they could simply command their living dead attackers to stop. As cold, rotting hands grabbed their limbs and dirty, worn teeth bit into their flesh, these people discovered, too late, what they were truly dealing with. These guidelines should give you a good idea of how to tell a voodoo zombie from a true zombie. One final note: Voodoo zombies are almost always encountered in sub-Saharan Africa, the Caribbean, Central and South America, and the southern United States. Although it is not impossible to find someone who has been turned into a zombie by a houngan elsewhere, the chances of such an encounter are slim. THE HOLLYWOOD ZOMBIE Since the living dead first stepped onto the silver screen, their greatest enemy has not been hunters, but critics. Scholars, scientists, even concerned citizens have all argued that these movies depict the living dead in a fantastic, unrealistic fashion. Visually stunning weapons, physically impossible action sequences, larger-than-life human characters, and, above all, magical, invincible, even comical ghouls have all added their colors to the controversial rainbow that is "the Zombie Movie." Further criticism argues that this "style over substance" approach to somnambulist cinema teaches human viewers lessons that may get them killed in a real encounter. These serious charges demand an equally serious defense. While some zombie movies are based on actual events*, their goal, indeed the goal of almost every movie in every genre, has always been, first and foremost, to entertain. Unless we are discussing pure documentaries (and even some of those are "sweetened"), moviemakers must take some artistic license to make their work more palatable to the audience. Even movies that are based on actual events will sacrifice pure reality for good storytelling. Certain characters will be an amalgam of real-life individuals. Others may be purely fictional in order to explain certain facts, facilitate the plotline, or simply add flavor to the scene. One might argue that the role of the artist is to challenge, educate, and enlighten her audience. That may be true, but try imparting knowledge to an audience who has either left or fallen asleep within the first ten minutes of the picture. Accept this basic rule of moviemaking and you will understand why Hollywood zombie films stray, in some cases wildly, from the reality on which they are based. In short, use these photo-plays as their makers intended: as a source of temporary, lighthearted entertainment and not a visual aid to your survival. OUTBREAKS Although each zombie attack is different, given the number, terrain, reaction of the general populace, etc., its level of intensity can be measured in four distinct classes. *At the behest of the filmmakers andlor their estates, the titles of those movies based on me-life stories have been omitted. CLASS 1 This is a low-level outbreak, usually in a Third World country or First World rural area. The number of zombies in this class of outbreak ranges between one and twenty. Total human casualties (including those infected) range from one to fifty. The total duration, from the fist case to the last (known), will range between twenty-four hours and fourteen days. The infested area will be small, no larger than a twentymile radius. In many cases, natural boundaries will determine its limits. Response will he light, either exclusively civilian or with some additional help from local law enforcement. Media coverage will be light, if present at all. If the media is present, look for common stories like homicides or "accidents." This is the most common type of outbreak and also the easiest to go unnoticed. CLASS 2 Urban or densely populated mral areas are included in this level of outbreak. Total zombies will range between twenty and one hundred. Total human casualties may reach as high as several hundred. The duration of a Class 2 attack may last no longer than a Class 1 outbreak. In some cases, the larger number of zombies will spark a more immediate response. A rural, sparsely populated outbreak may extend to a hundred-mile radius, while an urban outbreak may encompass only several blocks. Suppression will almost certainly be organized. Bands of civilians will be replaced by local, state, even federal law enforcement. Look for an additional, if low-level, military response, the National Guard in the United States or its equivalent abroad. Most often, so as to ease panic, these units will take a more noncombatant role, providing medical assistance, crowd control, and logistical support. Class 2 outbreaks almost always attract the press. Unless the attack occurs in a huly isolated area of the world, or one where the media is strictly controlled, the story will he reported. This does not mean, however, that it will be reported acc~lrately. CLASS 3 A hue crisis. Class 3 outbreaks, more than any other, demonstrate the clear threat posed by the living dead. Zombies will number in the thousands, encompassing an area of several hundred miles. The duration of the attack and a possible lengthy mop-up process could last as long as several months. There will be no chance for a press blackout or coverup. Even without media attention, the sheer magnitude of the attack will leave too many eyewitnesses. This is a full-blown battle, with law enforcement replaced by units of the regular military. A state of emergency will be declared for the infested zone, as well as the neighboring areas. Expect martial law, restricted travel, rationed supplies, federalized services, and strictly monitored communication. All these measures, however, will take time to implement. The initial phase will be one of chaos as those in power come to grips with the crisis. Riots, looting, and widespread panic will add to their difficulties, further delaying an effective response. While this is happening, those living withm the infested area will be at the mercy of the undead. Isolated, abandoned, and surrounded by ghouls, they will have only themselves to depend on. CLASS 4 (See "Living in an Undead World," pages 154-81.) DETECTION Every undead outbreak, regardless of its class, has a beginning. Now that the enemy has been defined, the next step is early warning. Knowing what a zombie is will not help if you are unable to recognize an outbreak before it's too late. This does not entail building a "zombie command post" in your basement, sticking pins in a map, and huddling around the shortwave radio. All it requires is looking for signs that would slip by the untrained mind. These signs include: 1. Homicides in which the victims were executed by head shots or decapitation. It has happened many times: People recognize an outbreak for what it is and try to take matters into their own hands. Almost always, these people are declared murderers by the local authorities and prosecuted as such. 2. Missing persons, particularly in wilderness or uninhabited areas. Pay careful attention if one or more of the search members end up missing. If the story is televised or photographed, watch to see what level of armament the search parties carry. Any more than one rifle per group could mean that this is more than just a simple rescue operation. 3. Cases of "violent insanity" in which the subject attacked friends or family without the use of weapons. Find out if the attacker bit or tried to bite his victims. If so, are any of the victims still in the hospital? Try to discover if any of these victims mysteriously died within days of their bite. 4. Riots or other civil disturbances that began without provocation or other logical cause. Common sense will dictate that violence on any group level does not simply occur without a catalyst such as racial tension, political actions, or legal decisions. Even so-called "mass hysteria" can always be traced to a root source. If none can be found, the answer may lie elsewhere. 5. Disease-based deaths in which either the cause is undetermined or seems highly suspect. Deaths from infectious disease are rare in the industrialized world, compared to a century ago. For this reason, new outbreaks always make the news. Look for those cases in which the exact nature of the disease is unexplained. Also, be on the alert for suspicious explanations such as West Nile virus or "mad cow" disease. Either could be examples of a cover-up. 6. Any of the above in which media coverage was forbidden. A total press blackout is rare in the United States. The occurrence of one should be regarded as an immediate red flag. Of course, there may be many reasons other than an attack of the living dead. Then again, any event causing a govemment as media-conscious as our own to clamp down merits close attention. The truth, no matter what it is, cannot be good. Once an event has tripped your sensors, keep track of it. Note the location, and its distance from you. Watch for similar incidents around or near the original site. If, within a few days or weeks, these incidents do occur, study them carefully. Note the response of law enforcement and other govemment agencies. If they react more forcefully with each occurrence, chances are that an outbreak is unfolding. How to Win and Informal Debate How to Defuse an argument Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deraldin Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 (edited) Dudes, you should start by defining what a zombie is, how they spread and what its weak points are. I see head boinking and what to use/not to use but no details. For example you may want to tell the dudes if melee's a bad idea because the zombie virus/bacteria and other general infections from decaying flesh would be nasty if it gets on you from fluid contact. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sorry for the formatting but im not going to type out 30 pages by hand. [snip]Horrendously long post about zombies.[/snip] <{POST_SNAPBACK}> So you decided to copy past all 30 pages instead? Edited December 25, 2006 by Deraldin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darque Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Interesting read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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