Kaftan Barlast Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Dear fellow forum members, I know a lot of you have been wondering where Ive been these last two weeks. Some of you probably thought I had been killed and put in little black plastic bags and strewn over the country and eaten by crabs and vicious seaweed. Or maybe you thought I had sold all my things to become a hobo, walking the streets and scaring children and living off old lettuce and corn thrown away in alleys by restaurants who lack organic waste disposal facilities. But the truth is that I went to Mexico to become the worlds greatest Luchador and be cheered by the masses and admired by the women and feared by men. I trained my body all day smeared in cooking grease in the desert and wrestled goats and pigs all night to become the greatest, I even drank a chicken-flavoured chicken milkshake some crazy shaman gave me... but it was not enough. See, the only other guy in my weight class(the el-grande collibri bantam) kicked my ass in the first match and I had to go home in shame. So here I am. /yours truly Kaftan 'El Esplendido' Barlast DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llyranor Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 I know a lot of you have been wondering where Ive been these last two weeks. We sure did ^____________________^ (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 I know you did. No lies (they make baby Jes DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oerwinde Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Who are you again? The area between the balls and the butt is a hotbed of terrorist activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 I have missed Kaftan. Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassat Hunter Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Well, that's it... no pay for that hitman... <_< Next... ^ I agree that that is such a stupid idiotic pathetic garbage hateful retarded scumbag evil satanic nazi like term ever created. At least top 5. TSLRCM Official Forum || TSLRCM Moddb || My other KOTOR2 mods || TSLRCM (English version) on Steam || [M4-78EP on Steam Formerly known as BattleWookiee/BattleCookiee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveThaiBinh Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I shall dream of vicious seaweed tonight. :ph34r: "An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atreides Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I'm disappointed that the greasy wrestling training in the desert didn't pay off Spreading beauty with my katana. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCrimson Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I even drank a chicken-flavoured chicken milkshake some crazy shaman gave me... but it was not enough. Sounds like, uh, fun. “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Raven Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Dear fellow forum members, Stuff <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And you are? Hades was the life of the party. RIP You'll be missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llyranor Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 The joke here is that the real Kaftan is already dead (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Meh, Kaftan wont die as long as there This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenghuang Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 The joke here is that the real Kaftan is already dead <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How the hell did you know that?!! :ph34r: Not that I...uh...buried Kaftan in a shallow grave in Baja California or anything, nope, nosiree. " RIP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 gives fengy a good whack on the head with a shovel. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenghuang Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 MOTHER****ER! <turns around and slices Calax down the side of his face> RIP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCrimson Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 The joke here is that the real Kaftan is already dead It must be true. *Humorously intended: if Kaftan wishes I will gladly take this down... “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosbjerg Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 the real Kaftan is already dead <{POST_SNAPBACK}> shh.. every time you say that a Demon gets its wings! Fortune favors the bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nartwak Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I don't believe in Kaftan Barlasts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 My new plan is to travel to Bangladesh and start up a new tournament featuring only me and a bunch of severy starved and skinny natives that I can safely kick the crap out of every night in the ring. A shame about the mexican chicken milkshake* though, its just not safe with the birdflu down there. (skillfully photoshopped picture with my head in the place of a certain well known musician) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Is that your clandestine way of calling me a Scouser? This aggression will not stand, man. I mean, the kaft does not abide. *Recipe: Coctail machacado del pollo de satan - 1 live chicken - 1 bottle of mezcal - an icecream cone Gently place all ingredients in blender, let grind for one minute. Serve with coctail umbrella and complimentary nachos DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astr0creep Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Slightly on topic and less humoristic(is that a word in english?), I've had mononucleosis(gland fever) for the past month and thats why I haven't been posting as often. But now I'm back so expect more crap coming from me! :D http://entertainmentandbeyond.blogspot.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 >.> <.< KaPWING! Ha HA! Ah Am INvINCIBAL! Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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