astr0creep Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Here's another one. Pretty common place, I'd think. I remember sitting around up in my room playing PS2 or something, at the age of 14, when I heard a not quite pleased parental voice blast up the stairs. Knowing that usually came before a nice "I'm ****ed" scenario, I sighed and paused my game, heading out to face the music as it were. I came down to find my Mom and Stepdad standing in front of the family computer with the most pissed off expression I think I'd ever seen on either of them up 'till that point. You can't see the monitor from the hall, but I knew damn well what it was about. My mom looked at me with what I thought was a mix between confusion and murderous rage, exclaiming, "What in the hell is this!?" Now, you see, I've always been able to think on my feet when it comes to stretching the truth, and it didn't take me more than a few seconds to realize what was happening and come up with a viable explanation for it. I feigned confusion of my own, I'm pretty good at faking emotion for the sake of a lie, and walked over to get a view before talking...didn't want to start railing about something without knowing exactly what was going on. On the screen was a beautiful young brunette, butt-naked, legs spread wiiiiide. I suppressed a grin. Still maintaining my composure and outer confusion, I said, "You've got to be kidding me...that god damn Gamespy site!" They exchanged glances, both unbelieving, then asked, "What site?" "That Gamespy site must have uploaded a dialer/cookie when I was searching on it. God, they do it all the time. I thought the firewall was keeping that crap out." Lucky for me, neither were, or are, computer literate, so I was able to bull**** them into believing that and thought I was getting away, completely unharmed, but then they noticed the history folder.......Needless to say, lots of screaming, stammered apologies, and an eventual grounding from the internet for a month or two. I learned pretty quickly to empty that damn folder and adjust every setting available in IE to cover my tracks in the future. Like I said. Common thing. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Firefox has a little button that reads :"Erase my tracks". You probably know this already but for those who don't, live and learn. That little button saves my neck on a daily basis. http://entertainmentandbeyond.blogspot.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 I got hit over the boards in a hockey game. Not to fun to land on the lap of 5 opposing players. (I've returned the favor a few times though) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 When one of the janitors at my school, at a high school party, tried to come on to me. DENMARK! It appears that I have not yet found a sig to replace the one about me not being banned... interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Man or woman? This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llyranor Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Does it matter? (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Not if it was you. This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkreku Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Ten years ago, me and a friend were out interrailing (you buy a HUGE ticket and you get to ride trains for "free" all over Europe for one month) and we had been away for perhaps two weeks. We were currently slowly passing through Italy and it was hot, the coupe (not sure it's the right word) was crammed with people and I was horribly bored as we had been sitting there for probably 20 hours straight. So to lighten up the mood, I started singing loudly in swedish. When that had annoyed everyone to hell and back, I instead started commenting on people's looks out loud, but in swedish. One guy was sitting right in front of my friend, and he was BIG, with this crushed looking nose, and I was making up all these storied about how he probably beat up and raped men in dark alleyway's in his spare time, or that he was a boxer-gone-hairdresser, stuff like that. Since they were all italian and I was rambling on in swedish, noone understood me anyhow. After a while I got bored hearing my own voice and stopped. Not even ten minutes later, the huge guy with the broken nose asks my friend if he can borrow our map.. in "sjungande sk Swedes, go to: Spel2, for the latest game reviews in swedish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosbjerg Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 he was probably hoping that you had marked we you were going so he could track you down and rape you in a dark alley! those Sk Fortune favors the bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 (edited) Sometimes those big guys are cool enough to think they don Edited March 29, 2006 by kirottu This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nartwak Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Being dressed up as a gipsy when I was 8 by my parents and having them take pictures. A female gipsy. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That brings back some memories. My parents dressed me as a sack of flour, a tinfoil robot, a witch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabrielle Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Who me? Not I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draken Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 (edited) That brings back some memories. My parents dressed me as a sack of flour, a tinfoil robot, a witch... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The worst my parents dressed me up as was one of the Seven Dwarves...Happy, I think. But my parents overdid the "happy" aspect of my character. Long story short, the end result had me looking like I fell in a horrible vat of rainbows and smiles. Like a unicorn princess on lemon-drop steroids. Edited March 30, 2006 by Draken Seriously, only like, three people can touch my body Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nartwak Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Damn, our parents were cruel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draken Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 There's a reason they invented Retirement Homes, and that reason is sweet vengence. Seriously, only like, three people can touch my body Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarna Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 :D Alcohol seems to be a common theme here . Let's see. On my 18th birthday my buddies from work decided to take me out and get me drunk. Cool! We got off work at 11 PM and started to head over to one of the local late-night restaurants. They'd picked up a 12 pack of beer and a pint of Wild Turkey. I'd had a beer or two when the Wild Turkey came out. They all decided to take a shot for me and I'd take a shot for each of them. To hell with that, I upended the bottle and guzzled about 2/3 of the pint. Really bad idea. We get to the restaurant and order. I don't even remember the food coming to the table. I do however, remember at some point the waitresses brought out something with a candle on it and everyone singing frigging Happy Birthday to me including the two cops a couple of booths over! The next thing I remember was leaning over to whoever was next to me and asking where the restroom was. With a guy on each side of me dragging me toward the restroom off we went. Guess what? I didn't make it. As we passed the register I yakked all over the floor .Out the front door we go where I puke again. As we are leaving the stupid night manager is telling everyone not to bring me back again. Getting 86ed from a Village Inn? How despicably low is that? The two that were carrying me threw me over the car as they were fishing their keys out. Another group of kids had just arrived and were laughing at me. What does drunk little me do? I pick a fight! "Come over here! I'll kick your ass!" meanwhile I couldn't even stand up on my own. Idiot. The kids thought this was quite amusing. My buddies took me over to a house that was across the street from where I worked and threw me on the floor to sleep it off. Apparently I started to puke on the carpet when one of them threw a cleaning tray under my face where I promptly puked on about $20 worth of ...ahem...'contraband'. I do remember someone had some harsh words about that . I woke up the next morning at about 15 minutes 'til 7AM when I had to be at work. I combed the puke and contraband out of my hair and walked across the street for my 8 hour shift of hell. It was a very bad day. I've never been able to drink beer or Wild Turkey since then. Hmm...My brother and I had moved back in with my parents for a short time when I was about 22. They went on a two week vacation. PARTY TIME!!! We decided to finish panelling my parents basement. Drinking and whatnot, we proceeded to do this one night. Booze bottles dropped whereever they were emptied. The usual sort of thing. About a week into this, we decided to go out for some pizza. When we came home, my frigging parents' truck is in the driveway. My brother turns to me and says that we had left the 'contraband' sitting out along with the paraphenalia. S**t!!!!!!!!! We immediately drove off seriously talking about joining the army. Had we been able to find a recruiter at 9-10 PM, we probably would have. Screw it, let's go face the music. We went in with the pizza and found my parents upstairs ( Peoples' Exhibit A was downstairs ). I go upstairs and my brother goes downstairs and hides the evidence. Cool! We just might get away with this. We offer the pizza and start to BS. As my brother is coming back in the room, my mom turns to me and asks "And what is the **** doing in this house?!?" My brother turns 180 and goes back into the other room to leave me 'holding the bag'. Bastard! Should have looked harder for the recruiter. Ruminations... When a man has no Future, the Present passes too quickly to be assimilated and only the static Past has value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf16 Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 And here I was wondering why I don't drink. I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows 'Cause I won't know the man that kills me and I don't know these men I kill but we all wind up on the same side 'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will. - Everlast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarna Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Because you are a very smart person! :D Ruminations... When a man has no Future, the Present passes too quickly to be assimilated and only the static Past has value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draken Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Are you kidding? Beer is like the something of my something...you know? Seriously, only like, three people can touch my body Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Still maintaining my composure and outer confusion, I said, "You've got to be kidding me...that god damn Gamespy site!" They exchanged glances, both unbelieving, then asked, "What site?" "That Gamespy site must have uploaded a dialer/cookie when I was searching on it. God, they do it all the time. I thought the firewall was keeping that crap out." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> lol, I used a very similar excuse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Man or woman? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Man, and he rides a Harley ffs, not exactly the kinda guy you'd expect to do something like that. DENMARK! It appears that I have not yet found a sig to replace the one about me not being banned... interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Creepy. :ph34r: This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 (edited) That same night a 70-80kg woman decided to sit in my lap... the pain and looks from my friends! Edited March 30, 2006 by Lucius DENMARK! It appears that I have not yet found a sig to replace the one about me not being banned... interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Hmm... This one time skinny chick sat in my lap and I could feel her bones through the buttocks. It was very un-arousing. This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick_i_am Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Last time I was out, a little bit tipsy and dancing like a tit, a slightly overweight girl decided to jump on me. Que complete overbalance. (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astr0creep Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 :D Alcohol seems to be a common theme here .Let's see. On my 18th birthday my buddies from work decided to take me out and get me drunk. Cool! We got off work at 11 PM and started to head over to one of the local late-night restaurants. They'd picked up a 12 pack of beer and a pint of Wild Turkey. I'd had a beer or two when the Wild Turkey came out. They all decided to take a shot for me and I'd take a shot for each of them. To hell with that, I upended the bottle and guzzled about 2/3 of the pint. Really bad idea. We get to the restaurant and order. I don't even remember the food coming to the table. I do however, remember at some point the waitresses brought out something with a candle on it and everyone singing frigging Happy Birthday to me including the two cops a couple of booths over! The next thing I remember was leaning over to whoever was next to me and asking where the restroom was. With a guy on each side of me dragging me toward the restroom off we went. Guess what? I didn't make it. As we passed the register I yakked all over the floor .Out the front door we go where I puke again. As we are leaving the stupid night manager is telling everyone not to bring me back again. Getting 86ed from a Village Inn? How despicably low is that? The two that were carrying me threw me over the car as they were fishing their keys out. Another group of kids had just arrived and were laughing at me. What does drunk little me do? I pick a fight! "Come over here! I'll kick your ass!" meanwhile I couldn't even stand up on my own. Idiot. The kids thought this was quite amusing. My buddies took me over to a house that was across the street from where I worked and threw me on the floor to sleep it off. Apparently I started to puke on the carpet when one of them threw a cleaning tray under my face where I promptly puked on about $20 worth of ...ahem...'contraband'. I do remember someone had some harsh words about that . I woke up the next morning at about 15 minutes 'til 7AM when I had to be at work. I combed the puke and contraband out of my hair and walked across the street for my 8 hour shift of hell. It was a very bad day. I've never been able to drink beer or Wild Turkey since then. Hmm...My brother and I had moved back in with my parents for a short time when I was about 22. They went on a two week vacation. PARTY TIME!!! We decided to finish panelling my parents basement. Drinking and whatnot, we proceeded to do this one night. Booze bottles dropped whereever they were emptied. The usual sort of thing. About a week into this, we decided to go out for some pizza. When we came home, my frigging parents' truck is in the driveway. My brother turns to me and says that we had left the 'contraband' sitting out along with the paraphenalia. S**t!!!!!!!!! We immediately drove off seriously talking about joining the army. Had we been able to find a recruiter at 9-10 PM, we probably would have. Screw it, let's go face the music. We went in with the pizza and found my parents upstairs ( Peoples' Exhibit A was downstairs ). I go upstairs and my brother goes downstairs and hides the evidence. Cool! We just might get away with this. We offer the pizza and start to BS. As my brother is coming back in the room, my mom turns to me and asks "And what is the **** doing in this house?!?" My brother turns 180 and goes back into the other room to leave me 'holding the bag'. Bastard! Should have looked harder for the recruiter. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Will you marry me? http://entertainmentandbeyond.blogspot.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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