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Supermarket Hijynx


thepixiesrock

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Knuckle sandwiches!

 

Bah - Boom!

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Yes, that is a lot of corn, isn't it?

I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows

 

'Cause I won't know the man that kills me

and I don't know these men I kill

but we all wind up on the same side

'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will.

- Everlast

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After slipping the note into his trench coat, Gutman makes his way to the local supermarket. On route, however, Lou notices a dodgy dealer gesticulating in his general direction. Never one to pass up the opportune moment, Gutman approaches the shady character. "Today's your lucky day, mister", says the shadowy merchant. "For a mere $500 you can have one of these items rare extraordinaire!" Deciding to give unsavory dealer the benefit of the doubt, Lou decides to peruse his inventory:

  • Boob-O-Scope : Perfect for the enterprising private eye who needs to go UNDERCOVER. Merely slip on these goggles and the user can penetrate all level of disguise, thereby getting to the very THONG of the matter. Range: A to DD

  • Laugh-O-Ray : Developed in the research facility of the legendary Inspector Gadget himself, this weapon ensures the user has the last laugh. Any enemy fired upon with the Laugh-O-Ray will be rendered incapacitated with unstoppable bouts of laughter. This prolific interrogative tool coerces even the most stoic of victims into yielding their most secret information.

[*] Perp-O-Meter : Though it looks like a rather innocuous wrist-watch at a glance, upon closer inspection the true capabilities of this powerful device is revealed. This advanced surveillance prototype uses the psychotropic wavelengths given off by criminal brain activity to warn the user of their impending presence. The adjustable jogglelator can be cranked up to isolate the very cr

Edited by jaguars4ever
manthing2.jpg
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A...no wait, C!

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Yeah, but...well nevermind. You win this time Rosy Nipples! :(

Edited by Musopticon?
kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 

Sir, that isn't an exceptable anser.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Ok, is it an acceptable answer?

 

Yes, it is an acceptable answer.

Edited by thepixiesrock

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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A!

 

A!

 

A! A! A!

 

A! A! A! A! A! A!

 

What I's trying to say is:

 

A!

 

Sir, you're getting out of control. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Ok, fine. I'm not going to post the next installment now.

 

You can all thank Jim. Thank him with snide comments and insults.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Damn you Jim!

 

Let's all point at Jim and laugh!

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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I'm this close to posting the comparison pic again Mus?

 

And even though you can't see me doing it, I'm holding the index finger and thumb of my right hand very close together in a manner that backs that up!

 

Yeah, what now?!!

DEADSIGS.jpg

RIP

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It's an old pic and is in no way evidence of what similarities I and Bloom might share.

 

*points at Jim and laughs*

haw haw haw haaa!

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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"I'll take the Boob-O-Scope." you say. Ever the cautious consumer you put them on immediately to see if they work. Only you're still looking at the shady antiquities dealer. Big mistake. The shady dealer apparently had a gorilla for a father, and possibly a mother too. You see a dense forest of chest, back, and everywhere-else-hair that reminds you of your Aunt Gertrude. The only part of his body seemingly not covered in hair are his rosy nipples...which also remind you of your Aunt Gertrude. Your mind recoiling from the mental shock, you black out.

 

An undetermined time later, you wake up in a hospital bed. There's a cute nurse in a very revealing uniform next to you. She's a blonde and is very well endowed. You always liked blondes; and brunettes, and redheads, and pretty much anything else on two legs, and when you have a few beers in you even four. Your handgun appears to be sitting next to you on the table and a rerun of Full House is playing on the TV. You can't seem to remember anything from the past 24 hours no matter how hard you try.

 

Do you:

 

A) Ogle the Nurse's breasts.

 

B) Assume this is a hideous plot by unknown conspirators, shoot the nurse and ask questions later after a little 'personal time'.

 

C) Ask the Nurse what happened.

 

D) Go back to sleep after watching the wacky antics of the Tanner Family for a little bit.

Edited by Fenghuang

DEADSIGS.jpg

RIP

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I'll let this one go as a official part of the story, but only because of the necrophillia. Don't think just anyone can jump into the story though and start trying to add to it. I don't want it to turn into a cricus.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Well we seem to have migrated from the PG rating to the M ... and we all know what that means ... it's time to play elsewhere in the Supermarket where parents and owners would rather not see such things ...

 

Aisles are closed for the time being - Management.

 

FLoSD.ObE

The universe is change;
your life is what our thoughts make it
- Marcus Aurelius (161)

:dragon:

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