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Supermarket Hijynx


thepixiesrock

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Can we get on with the story already?

 

And by get on I mean makeouts and by makeouts I mean doin' the deed and by doin' the deed I mean intercourse and by intercourse I mean doin' the nasty and by doin' the nasty I mean screwin' and by screwin' I mean bumpin' uglies and by bumpin' uglies I mean doin' the horizontal mambo and by doin' the horizontal mambo I mean sex.

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I am waiting for something before I continue.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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You cruise down Century Boulevard mentally noting the fine assortment of shady pimps, shell game peddlers and hookers as you make you way down to L.A.X. In the zone and feeling lucky, our P.I. Gutman stops first at the Virgin terminal. An eight member Armenian family is currently ahead of you in the queue as their 15 suitcases, 10 handbags, 5 dog cages and a guitar, trombone and viola cases are sluggishly checked in. You ponder to yourself whether they're planning a trip on Noah's Arc, but quickly dismiss the idea as the thought of all that procreation makes you giddy. You go and buy some food from the Chinese food stall to pass the time. As you wolf down your chow mein, you begin reading your fortune cookie, "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok".

 

After waiting an excruciating 25 minutes to get to the front, you ask the counter attendant to inform you of any unusual baggage recently checked in, but she rebuffs you, "You certainly don't look like any respectable cop, sir. I'm afraid I must first see your badge before I let you privy to such information.".

 

"You kiddin' me miss? I'm Lou Gutman, Private Eye - everyone has heard of me. But since you insist...". Then you realize that you don't actually have your badge one you as it must have slipped out of you pocket into the car. You turn around heading outside, but at that moment bump into a pair of sexy stewds:

 

( A ) Return to the counter teller stating she doesn't need to see your badge, and offer to show her your "flight deck" instead.

 

( B ) Subtlety attempt to disguise yourself with the Armenian luggage as you attempt to 'check yourself in'.

 

( C ) Chat up the sexy stewds, offering your services as a "Captain".

 

( D ) Return to the car to retrieve you badge

 

( E ) Walk through airport turnstile sideways

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C!

 

 

The answer is C!

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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  • 1 month later...

You return to your car to find two men searching it. While the one is trying to break into your car, you spot his gun. Quick Gutman, don't panic, I'm sure you have some sort of cunning plan.

 

( a ) "Pardon me fellas, but I don't think I paid for the vallet service, but these bullits are on the house!" (Shoot them!)

 

( b ) (Pull out gun) Pardon me fellas, but whats going on here?

 

( c ) (unarmed) Hey guys, whats the haps?

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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b), totally b.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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First come, first served.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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We do it democratically now.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Also, I vote A.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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My subconscious votes b) too.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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My subconcious and ultra subconcious both vote A.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Boo can't write, but he votes b.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Gutman thinking quick and drawing quicker, whips his .44 Magnum and quickly dispatches the would-be-auto-pilfering-ne'er-gooder. Unfortunately his short but stout partner manages to return a shot! This troubles the mighty P.I. not, as Lou Gutman catches the bullet between his teeth. But this gives 'Mr. Shorty' just enough time to make his getaway. In a last gasp effort, Gutman fires at the perp and in the distance hears, "Arrgh, my anus!"

 

( A ) Follow the blood-trail left by Mr. Shorty;

 

( B ) Examine a small note dropped during the commotion;

 

( C ) Draw fake moustaches on the dead perp to "strategically enhance" his villainy before the coroner arrives;

 

( D ) Search the car for your badge.

Edited by jaguars4ever
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