thepixiesrock Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 This is an apology to all of the women and men on this forum who I have offended. It was wrong of me, and I was being a sexist. Do not worry, I have learned my lesson, and am attending Sexists Anonymous. Again, I am truly sorry to all of the women of the board. I am of course, talking about this atrocity: Whats there to say about Charisma Valentine that hasn't already been said? to answer that, lets review what has already been said shall we? She is a woman. She is a cop fresh out of the academy. Her name is Charisma Valentine. Well, I think that wraps it up. She was always looked down upon by her male peers, and looked up to by the female ones, but really, does anyone care what the female ones think? Am I right fellas? I mean, am I right? She recently has just got a job as an officer at the precinct. She is looking foreward to her first day out on the mean streets. You arrive promptly on the first day on the job. You are shown your desk and are given countless offers to get down to business in the back room, if you know what I mean *wink* *wink*. Men. *Rolls eyes* The chief calls you into the office for your first assignment and you couldn't be more excited. You are as gitty as a school girl,. you hurry to his office and are ready to get out on the streets and crack some sculls. "Ah yes, welcome Charisma. I trust your first day is going well." "Well, actually sir, a few of the male officers have-" "Yes, good, good. Anyway, the reason I called you in here is because I have an important assignment for you." "Great, I'm ready for anything sir, just point me in the direction of the crime, and I'm your woman for the job." "Good, good, you see, the boys were having a milk chugging contest and it seems that a few of them puked a little." "Puked, sir? I'm sorry, but I don't see what you want me to do sir." "Oh, I'm sorry, how stupid of me. I sometimes forget, that you women are of lower intellect then us men. Let me tell you directly, I, need you, to clean up some puke, in the kitchen." "Sir! When I came to this precinct, I came here to do a job!" "Exactly, and we feel you are just the right woman for the job." *phone rings* "Ahh, excuse me, thats a very important call from the Mayor. "Yes Mr. Mayor? I'm sorry sir, it's just that we have a lack of officers at the moment. I know sir, but I mean, we have to work with what we've got. I know, I'm doing all I can, we have all officers on duty and working on only the highest priority cases. Wait a minute sir, I just remembered something, Charisma?" "Yes sir? Do you need me to go out and work a case?" "I forgot to tell you, we also need more milk." ( a ) Go clean up the mess and get some milk. ( b ) Use sex apeal to get one of the male officers to take you with him. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And this one. Like I said, I am going with the first answer here. "Hey big boy, would a strong, handsome man like yourself be interested in taking a young, beautiful woman along with you?" "I'm gay, and even if I wasn't, I would never go anywhere with a **** like yourself." Well, after that embarassing episode, you are sure to be branded the precinct **** for sure. ( a ) Go back to the Chief and demand a real assignment. ( b ) Go get some milk at the supermarket. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And this one. Well, there is still puke to be cleaned, and a womans work is never done. As much as you hate it, your womanly instincts win, and you kick into that primal urge to clean. Now that you have cleaned the puke the only thing left to do is: ( a ) Go back to the Chief and demand a real assignment. ( b ) Go get some milk at the supermarket. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> What was I thinking? Thats right, I wasn't. I am just a man, driven by testosderone and my sex inpulse. I now realize, that it was wrong of me. Women are truly the superior race. Thank you for your understanding. Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.
Dark Moth Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 It's okay, pixies. I'm sure Hades will forgive you.
kirottu Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I think it was funny. Though, it seems that the joke got old quite fast. This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time.
Surreptishus Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I don't know, pixies really seemed to offend Hades' sensibilities as a woman.
213374U Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 So, when's the game starting again? - When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.
thepixiesrock Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 In like, 3-4 hours. Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.
SteveThaiBinh Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I think it was funny. Me too. It was clearly a satirical comment on sexism in modern society in general and pulp fiction in particular. You shouldn't apologise. In fact, small children should be made to read this in school. "An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov)
Krookie Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I agree with Steve. It seems that Hades just likes to start arguments sometimes...
213374U Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 In like, 3-4 hours. Cool. You can redeem yourself by making this edition teeth-gnashingly PC. ) - When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.
Surreptishus Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 In like, 3-4 hours. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> that sucks, i will most probably be asleep.
Dark Moth Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 It was funny, and it was just a joke after all. Hades and Gabs just need to learn to get a sense of humor, and in Gabs' case, stop being hypocritical.
kirottu Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I agree with Steve. It seems that Hades just likes to start arguments sometimes... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Over reacting would be better term... When it happens... sometimes. This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time.
LadyCrimson Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 (edited) Just for the record, I didn't find it particuarly offensive - it was obvious to me that it was in a joking/play manner and honestly, big deal. Plenty of steroetype jokes of men, too, out there. (To me it's more about whether something is appropriate in a given situation more than offensive...) I didn't find it actually funny, tho, sorry. heh Edited January 4, 2006 by LadyCrimson “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Judge Hades Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I just don't see the humor in this at all. I found it offensive. I PMed pixie about this and he tried to explain to me that it was meant to be a joke. Perhaps I have a very different sense of humor than the rest of you.
Hurlshort Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I actually just printed this out and I'm now using it in the classroom in place of our boring textbooks. The children are learning, and that's a magical experience.
Judge Hades Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 So, explain to me then, since you are in a teaching mood, how is this funny?
Slowtrain Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I was only offended because my name wasn't mentioned. :cool: Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
LadyCrimson Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 @ JH - what comedians do you think are funny? Just curious. Eddie Murphy & Dennis Leary cracked me up once upon a time...but then, so did the Smothers Brothers & various other gentler, old-style funny people...parental influence. “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
213374U Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I just don't see the humor in this at all. I found it offensive. I PMed pixie about this and he tried to explain to me that it was meant to be a joke. Perhaps I have a very different sense of humor than the rest of you. Nah. If you had found it truly offensive, and couldn't stand it, you would have just stopped reading and be done with it. You were just feeling like whoring for attention, and that's about it. - When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.
Surreptishus Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 (edited) Whether or not Hades found it funny is irrelevant, humour is subjective and i wouldn't class him as being representative of any regular audience. The point is if he didnt like it he should have just not visited that thread. *sigh* or what numerohombre said Edited January 4, 2006 by Surreptishus
LadyCrimson Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 (edited) That could be said about any thread, including pOrn...again, it's whether it's appropriate for a situation...I'm not entirely sure such stuff is appropriate for this specific forum. But that's not up to any of us peons anyway. --darn typos, sigh Edited January 4, 2006 by LadyCrimson “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Judge Hades Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I found it offensive so I reported it. Isn't that what you are suppose to do when you find something offensive on this forums? Lets see I find most material from Eddie izzard funny. I like comedies such as Are You Being Served?, Red Dwarf, and old school Saturday Night Live funny (days of Chevy Chase, Dan Ankroyd, and the such). I do not find Will Farrel or Adam Sandler at all funny.
LadyCrimson Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Ah...those were the good ol' days of SNL. I don't find the current crop ala the two you mentioned funny either. “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Draken Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I do not find Will Farrel at all funny. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh come on...more cowbell! But yeah, I personally didn't find the joke offensive, and wouldn't have took it as far as pixies did, but if someone did find it offensive, we can't really say they're too sensitive or hypocritical. People have different tastes, and so we shouldn't force them to have our own sense of humor. Anyways, I stand by the name Lance Daiquiri as the new lead. C'mon! It has so much potential! Seriously, only like, three people can touch my body
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