Lord Tingeling Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Alright, so this is a rather straightforward game. Here in this oh-so-glorious thread we compete by posting the most idiotic, corny or retarded qoutes we have come across in our journey through the wonderful world of literature. The winner will be bestowed with nonexistant honour and worthless bragging rights, as always. Any incarnation of the written word is accepted, here, but my gut feeling tells me fiction will yield the best (worst?) quotes. I'll start the thing off with a quote from Hallmark, a thoroughly stupid romance novel which I've had the misfortune of reading. "The most extraordinary event was taking place in Tyler's lap, and it took all her self-control not to stop what she was doing and inspect it." Top that, I dare you! "McDonald's taste damn good. I'd rtahe reat their wonderful food then the poisonous junk you server in your house that's for sure. What's funny is I'm not fat. In fact, I'm skinny. Though I am as healthy as cna be. Outside of being very ugly, and the common cold once in the blue moon I simply don't get sick." - Volourn, Slayer of Yrkoon! "I want a Lightsaber named Mr. Zappy" -- Darque "I'm going to call mine Darque. Then I can turn Darque on anytime I want." -- GhostofAnakin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvershadow Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Oh... gods... I don't think I can! All right, this weekend, I'm hitting up a used book store and I'm going to find a bad romance novel. Surely there must be something out there that tops it. Please review my fanfic! Atton's Redemption Atton's Motivation July 30: CHAPTER 26 is up! -------------- DISCLAIMER: These posts may contain humour. No warranties as to the gelogenic qualities, either expressed or implied, are undertaken by the undersigned. All rights reserved. This does not affect your IQ. Any issues, see your psychologist or increase your dosage. --Metadigital Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Tingeling Posted June 24, 2005 Author Share Posted June 24, 2005 Oh... gods... I don't think I can! All right, this weekend, I'm hitting up a used book store and I'm going to find a bad romance novel. Surely there must be something out there that tops it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> There probably is. That said, I must find something even more horrible, too! I'll be damned if I'm going to loose out on the bragging rights winning a stupid romance novel quote competition entails! "McDonald's taste damn good. I'd rtahe reat their wonderful food then the poisonous junk you server in your house that's for sure. What's funny is I'm not fat. In fact, I'm skinny. Though I am as healthy as cna be. Outside of being very ugly, and the common cold once in the blue moon I simply don't get sick." - Volourn, Slayer of Yrkoon! "I want a Lightsaber named Mr. Zappy" -- Darque "I'm going to call mine Darque. Then I can turn Darque on anytime I want." -- GhostofAnakin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
><FISH'> Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 its not about winning, its the tking part that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sereyna Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Show me the Money!!! Hate that Sorry, not from literature, but I still dislike it strongly. As capable of inconvenience, and of some damage and debt to those that would act against my interests, I cannot f*^ng argue with dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Illuminator Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 ^likes the smell of his terrible smellng feet while everyone hates the smell of his feet. Moreover sometimes taks off his shoes in the class to make it full of the terrible smeel of his feet just for having some fun and laughs at the ones not enjoying the smell The Illuminator Democracy starts with allowing different political opinions to express themselves. Fascism starts with killling all, who has different political opinions than yours. It's a pity for earth as it is full of fascists claiming to be democratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nartwak Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 I should dig up my Destroyer Series. I've only got, like, the first hundred books or so. There's gotta be something there that tops Tingeling's quote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 "The most extraordinary event was taking place in Tyler's lap, and it took all her self-control not to stop what she was doing and inspect it." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
><FISH'> Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 would i get banned for posting what i think that means? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvershadow Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 "The most extraordinary event was taking place in Tyler's lap, and it took all her self-control not to stop what she was doing and inspect it." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That Please review my fanfic! Atton's Redemption Atton's Motivation July 30: CHAPTER 26 is up! -------------- DISCLAIMER: These posts may contain humour. No warranties as to the gelogenic qualities, either expressed or implied, are undertaken by the undersigned. All rights reserved. This does not affect your IQ. Any issues, see your psychologist or increase your dosage. --Metadigital Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 "The most extraordinary event was taking place in Tyler's lap, and it took all her self-control not to stop what she was doing and inspect it." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Tingeling Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 Anything with slight sexual innuendo, becomes good after ten months without sex. Not that I have been... Seriously. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> ... ...Desperate? "McDonald's taste damn good. I'd rtahe reat their wonderful food then the poisonous junk you server in your house that's for sure. What's funny is I'm not fat. In fact, I'm skinny. Though I am as healthy as cna be. Outside of being very ugly, and the common cold once in the blue moon I simply don't get sick." - Volourn, Slayer of Yrkoon! "I want a Lightsaber named Mr. Zappy" -- Darque "I'm going to call mine Darque. Then I can turn Darque on anytime I want." -- GhostofAnakin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLD SKOOL WHEELMAN Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Why do we have to look at the negatives in life? Why can't we look at the positives? P.S. I will win this contest, oh yes, I will win this contest... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metadigital Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 ...Desperate? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Jupiter is larger than chicken? This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reveilled Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Anything Latin in Harry Potter books. Having all spells be said in Latin isn't embarrasingly bad or unintentionally sexual, but it is completely stupid. How did people cast spells before Latin was spoken? If the Romans could develop a way of casting spells that just required them to point the wand and name the spell, surely all the wize old wizards at Hogwarts could develop a way to cast the spells by saying them in English. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Hawk! Eggplant! AWAKEN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLD SKOOL WHEELMAN Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 I depise the Harry Potter anyway... :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Flatus Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 cept its not real latin. Its Lingus Bollockus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reveilled Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 cept its not real latin. Its Lingus Bollockus <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I always considered Oculus Reperato (that one that always fixes Herry's glasses) to be a strange spell, since eyeglasses weren't invented until the demose of Rome. Surely Oculus Reperato would have to be Lingus Bollockus (Consider this phrase stolen! :D) for "Laser Eye Surgery" instead of "Fix Glasses". Hawk! Eggplant! AWAKEN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Flatus Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 what you do expect from someone who invented a sport as stupid as quidditch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reveilled Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 what you do expect from someone who invented a sport as stupid as quidditch? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> True. Very true. Any sensible writer would have had aerial broomstick dogfighting competitions. Hawk! Eggplant! AWAKEN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Tingeling Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 @Metadigital: THAT'S NOT A LITERATURE QUOTE, FOOL. And come on now, people. I realize Meta might have a hard time at it owing it to his inherent uncoolness, but the rest of you should really come up with more quotes. In the vast sea of stupidity (read: fiction) out there that owes its existance to hyperactive and deranged imaginations across the globe, it shouldn't really be hard to come up with something a teensy tiny bit extra stupid, now should it? "McDonald's taste damn good. I'd rtahe reat their wonderful food then the poisonous junk you server in your house that's for sure. What's funny is I'm not fat. In fact, I'm skinny. Though I am as healthy as cna be. Outside of being very ugly, and the common cold once in the blue moon I simply don't get sick." - Volourn, Slayer of Yrkoon! "I want a Lightsaber named Mr. Zappy" -- Darque "I'm going to call mine Darque. Then I can turn Darque on anytime I want." -- GhostofAnakin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fishboot Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 And come on now, people. I realize Meta might have a hard time at it owing it to his inherent uncoolness, but the rest of you should really come up with more quotes. In the vast sea of stupidity (read: fiction) out there that owes its existance to hyperactive and deranged imaginations across the globe, it shouldn't really be hard to come up with something a teensy tiny bit extra stupid, now should it?<{POST_SNAPBACK}> It's hard to decide whether to go with something that's stupid when taken out of context or just stupid all-around. If you just want something that's plain ol' stupid I could wheel out something from The Eye of Argon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metadigital Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 @Metadigital: THAT'S NOT A LITERATURE QUOTE, FOOL. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, at least we agree on that. And come on now, people. I realize Meta might have a hard time at it owing it to his inherent uncoolness, but the rest of you should really come up with more quotes. In the vast sea of stupidity (read: fiction) out there that owes its existance to hyperactive and deranged imaginations across the globe, it shouldn't really be hard to come up with something a teensy tiny bit extra stupid, now should it? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ohhh, I'm burning. Actually, it is more down to the fact that I will not read garbage; the last time I read a book with dialogue similar to that quoted was before I can recall the name of the books. ANything that I accidentally read on a par with this sort of tripe I just throw away. Time is too precious to spend on crap. OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 "We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover." -Parish Magazine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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