I'm really down at the moment. Anyone got any jokes they can tell me?

I'm really down at the moment. Anyone got any jokes they can tell me?

Will comics work?

I'm really down at the moment. Anyone got any jokes they can tell me?

Will comics work?

Sure. Something funny....

Slick's Presidential Campaign 1

 

Slick's Presidential Campaign 2

 

Slick's Presidential Campaign 3

 

Slick's Presidential Campaign 4

 

Slick's Presidential Campaign 5

 

Hot Future Girl Can Stay

 

Good Luck

 

An Alternative Lifestyle, Part 1

 

They Possess a Startling Array of Features

 

For more fun, I suggest looking up the Saga of the Fruit F*cker on Penny Arcade, as well as just about any comics on Sin Fest.

i dunno, i know some weird voices, but unfortunately i cant broadcast it over the internet like this

An athletic and sexy star wars fan was walking along the road one day and encounters a beautiful nymph. Falling in love with each other's perfect bodies, they make love until the sun sets. The night is falling, and the two lovers find no way to get home, so they decided to hitchhike. A woman driving a van happened to pass by and offered them a ride. They graciously accepted. However, nightfall was soon accompanied by a dizzying storm and the van veered off the road to smash square into a tree. Who survived?

A **** was visited by satan, who promised him he could design really crappy games with no effort on his part and they would still sell enough to make him rich. In exchange for this the devil said the Bioweenies wife and kids would have to suffer eternal damnation. The **** thought about it for a moment and said "what's the catch?"

What did the bio fanboy say after quitting bio boards because BGII didn't have nudity in it?

 

Later Gaider.

 

What do you call a prophetic king of Israel who lives in sewers under New York City?

 

King David Gator.

An athletic and sexy star wars fan was walking along the road one day and encounters a beautiful nymph. Falling in love with each other's perfect bodies, they make love until the sun sets. The night is falling, and the two lovers find no way to get home, so they decided to hitchhike. A woman driving a van happened to pass by and offered them a ride. They graciously accepted. However, nightfall was soon accompanied by a dizzying storm and the van veered off the road to smash square into a tree. Who survived?

They were playing Star Wars Galaxies again, weren't they? And that hot chick is really a man! MMPORGs are NOT fun!

An athletic and sexy star wars fan was walking along the road one day and encounters a beautiful nymph. Falling in love with each other's perfect bodies, they make love until the sun sets. The night is falling, and the two lovers find no way to get home, so they decided to hitchhike. A woman driving a van happened to pass by and offered them a ride. They graciously accepted. However, nightfall was soon accompanied by a dizzying storm and the van veered off the road to smash square into a tree. Who survived?

They were playing Star Wars Galaxies again, weren't they? And that hot chick is really a man! MMPORGs are NOT fun!

Well, the answer is "The woman. The other two are mythical beings and therefore mere figments of the woman's imagination"

 

but yes, they could have been playing SWG!

Haha, I like the bioware jokes....

A man goes to a brain store,

 

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

 

"Three dollars an ounce."

 

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

 

"Four dollars an ounce."

 

"How much for **** brain?"

 

"$1,000 an ounce."

 

"Why is **** brain so much more?"

 

"Do you know how many Bioweenies we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

hahaha woot I like that one

A big black bear walks into a bar, and says "bartender, I'm a big black bear, and I want a beer."

 

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve beer to big, black bears in this bar." He points to a sign.

 

The big, black bear gets all burly and says "damnit, I'm a big, black bear, and I'm thirsty. Now give me a beer."

 

"No beer to big, black bears in this bar, bub."

 

"But I'm a big, black bear, and I'll go eat that bitch at the end of the bar if you don't give me a beer."

 

"Hey man, do what you gotta do, but I can't give you a beer."

 

So, he goes down and rips the poor girl's head off and gobbles her up. Then he says, "Now I'm bloody, and I'm still a big, black bear. Now give me a beer!"

 

"I'm sorry pal, but I can't serve a bear on drugs."

 

"What?"

 

"That was a bar bitch you ate."

What did the bio fanboy say after quitting bio boards because BGII didn't have nudity in it?

 

Later Gaider.

 

What do you call a prophetic king of Israel who lives in sewers under New York City?

 

King David Gator.

If you really want a laugh ask gaider about two drunken indians and his car.

 

I have it on good authority that those two indians were fond of playing DWing theives in 2e

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I'm really down at the moment. Anyone got any jokes they can tell me?

If you do the altruistic thing and kill yourself, everyone else will be less depressed.

Hrm.

 

Why does everyone come back to oil?

 

We haven't taken any oil from Iraq. Instead we've pumped billions of US dollars into Iraq. And we're spending billions on new fuel sources. I hate how people propogate this common assumption rather than pay any attention to facts.

I believe oil is a part of the 'long term' goal. Why do you think Haliburton is setting up refineries and pipelines all over Iraq? It's also a way for Bush to make his cronies richer by subsidising their various 'efforts' in Iraq, that these "Bush-endorsed" corporations are charging 10 times more than independent American ones (Like the late Nick Berg's) and international ones (several from Japan and Australia) for providing the same services, such as telecommunications and various other infrastructure related endeavors. As it is, the independent and international companies are being denied subsidies and contracts because Bush likes to line the pockets of his already-rich buddies with war money that would be better spent on the people of Iraq, or on the actual military security, which as it is pales in comparison to the amount of money that's going into subsidies and contracts.

They're setting up refineries in Iraq, because that's part of the rebuilding process. Saddam blew up most of his oil refineries, and the economy in Iraq is dependent on their ability to sell oil.

 

That doesn't mean we're stealing oil. We built car factories in Germany after WWII, that doesn't mean the US owns BMW.

I own A BMW though :D

Good for you. BMW's are fine automobiles. If I had the money for a brand-new car, I'd likely buy a BMW or a Toyota.

THIS IS A JOKES THREAD, dammit. All I posted where 3 pics that I happen to have found recently and seemed funny to me. You may criticize my humour and don't laugh if you wish, but please don't start again. I pray this will not reach other similar 17-long threads full of rants... :angry:

Rant.. Rant. Rant! RANT!!

Good for you. BMW's are fine automobiles. If I had the money for a brand-new car, I'd likely buy a BMW or a Toyota.

Yes they are but I'd rather have an italian made car like a a Massaratti or a Ferrari but they are way too expensive.