Lexx Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 Watched Guillermo del Toros Pinocchio yesterday. Was not bad, looked nice, but isn't a movie that I would watch again. Didn't really like any of the singing songs, but the war background was a kinda nice touch. Probably doesn't help that I'm not all that much into the Pinocchio story. 1 "only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 2 "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 WHERE ARE THE FEATHERS 1 1 "only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Dont get me started! I was already annoyed that T-Rex and Velociraptor evolved EXACTLY THE SAME on another planet. "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyrock Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 1 hour ago, Gfted1 said: This seems like the type of movie that needs to be full-on schlock, but I don't get that vibe from the trailer. 1 minute ago, Gfted1 said: Dont get me started! I was already annoyed that T-Rex and Velociraptor evolved EXACTLY THE SAME on another planet. My interpretation is that this IS Earth, prehistoric Earth, to be exact. Meaning that the "humans" here are from another planet. RFK Jr 2024 "Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 2 minutes ago, Keyrock said: My interpretation is that this IS Earth, prehistoric Earth, to be exact. Meaning that the "humans" here are from another planet. Oooooh, that makes a lot more sense! "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 If you look at 2:10 you see all the fire raining down on earth. I bet you they caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. 1 1 "only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 They state outright it is prehistoric Earth. I guess killing the dinosaurs via space vehicle accident is better than having Driver solo them all. Shame his futuristic carbine seems weak. Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartimaeus Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 (edited) Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022). It's all well made as you might expect, and the fascist Italy setting is used to some effect...but did I enjoy it? Eh, kind of, I guess. Out of the 2022 films I've seen, at least I liked it slightly more than Top Gun: Maverick, . Edited December 14, 2022 by Bartimaeus 1 1 Quote How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart. In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PK htiw klaw eriF Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 34 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said: Out of the 2022 films I've seen, at least I liked it slightly more than Top Gun: Maverick, . Y-y-you n-n-naughty "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartimaeus Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Make a contract with KP said: Y-y-you n-n-naughty I edited that in after the fact just for you, but it's true! Maverick got a 5.5/10 while Pinocchio got a 6/10. Other films this year: Everything Everywhere All at Once (8.5/10) The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (7/10) Barbarian (7/10) Watcher (6.5/10) Nope (6/10) Death on the Nile (5/10) The Northman (4.5/10) You could do worse than a 6/10, . Overall, 2022 wasn't too bad of a year for films for me. Edited December 15, 2022 by Bartimaeus 1 Quote How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart. In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PK htiw klaw eriF Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Bartimaeus said: I edited that in after the fact just for you, but it's true! Maverick got a 5.5/10 while Pinocchio got a 6/10. Other films this year: Everything Everywhere All at Once (8.5/10) The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (7/10) Barbarian (7/10) Watcher (6.5/10) Nope (6/10) Death on the Nile (5/10) The Northman (4.5/10) You could do worse than a 6/10, . Overall, 2022 wasn't too bad of a year for films for me. I can't relate to numeric ratings of films, but Mediocre Viking Hamlet did less for you than Tom Cruise Commits A Warcrime? Super Ultra Naughty 1 "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartimaeus Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Make a contract with KP said: I can't relate to numeric ratings of films, but Mediocre Viking Hamlet did less for you than Tom Cruise Commits A Warcrime? Super Ultra Naughty Almost everything about The Northman felt bad to me, so that rating is honestly at least a little kind. Characters and performances that I didn't like, a story and themes that I didn't like, even visuals that I often thought were ugly and didn't like. At least Maverick had some pretty neat plane footage and plane action, which is something even with all of its other maladies. If it hadn't been for liking The Witch and The Lighthouse as much as I did, I would've have stopped watching within the first fifteen minutes...but I didn't, and that was obviously a big mistake, and also plays somewhat into how miserable the experience was. I expected Maverick to be utterly terrible, but it had very mild entertainment value; I thought The Northman would be good, and it had pretty negative entertainment value that I forced myself through, and as you know, I am quite famously bad at and very miserable when forcing myself through hours of something I am not having a good time with. Whoops. Edited December 15, 2022 by Bartimaeus 1 Quote How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart. In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PK htiw klaw eriF Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 17 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said: Almost everything about The Northman felt bad to me, so that rating is honestly at least a little kind. Characters and performances that I didn't like, a story and themes that I didn't like, even visuals that I often thought were ugly and didn't like. At least Maverick had some pretty neat plane footage and plane action, which is something even with all of its other maladies. If it hadn't been for liking The Witch and The Lighthouse as much as I did, I would've have stopped watching within the first fifteen minutes...but I didn't, and that was obviously a big mistake, and also plays somewhat into how miserable the experience was. I expected Maverick to be utterly terrible, but it had very mild entertainment value; I thought The Northman would be good, and it had pretty negative entertainment value that I forced myself through, and as you know, I am quite famously bad at and very miserable when forcing myself through hours of something I am not having a good time with. Whoops. With The Northman I can at least say it took some risks, probably a lot less than Eggers would have normally taken if it weren't for the studio, but enough to make it a bit more interesting than a ye olde historical drama would normally be. Now I hope that Eggers never does another big budget film like this and sticks to making weird historical fiction on (relatively) small budgets, because The VVitch and The Lighthouse are much stronger films than The Northman by far, but at the end of the day Eggers is a talented filmmaker and a mediocre disappointment with some interesting aspects isn't a complete loss. Now Maverick felt like it was made specifically to get me to hate it. Propaganda aspects aside, the real planes were technically impressive but the movie to me felt like it had no soul or style. You take away the real planes and you're left with something that feels very basic with an emotional payload that doesn't feel earned. It's a spectacle that didn't even try to be something more. "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartimaeus Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Make a contract with KP said: With The Northman I can at least say it took some risks, probably a lot less than Eggers would have normally taken if it weren't for the studio, but enough to make it a bit more interesting than a ye olde historical drama would normally be. Now I hope that Eggers never does another big budget film like this and sticks to making weird historical fiction on (relatively) small budgets, because The VVitch and The Lighthouse are much stronger films than The Northman by far, but at the end of the day Eggers is a talented filmmaker and a mediocre disappointment with some interesting aspects isn't a complete loss. Now Maverick felt like it was made specifically to get me to hate it. Propaganda aspects aside, the real planes were technically impressive but the movie to me felt like it had no soul or style. You take away the real planes and you're left with something that feels very basic with an emotional payload that doesn't feel earned. It's a spectacle that didn't even try to be something more. Yeah, it's not like I can't understand how one might like and certainly respect it more than disposable yarbage like Maverick...but it failed to appeal to me on pretty much every level, which doesn't necessarily make it contemptible trash - it does, however, mean that I really didn't like it. I've always touted the 75/25 rule: 75% subjective "how much did this appeal to me and how much did I enjoy it" vs. 25% objective "how well was this made". Being really great on the objective side can help me appreciate something I'd otherwise be fairly neutral on, but if you're completely failing on the other side, it's just not gonna do you much good in the grand scheme of things. I can't sit through and pretend to enjoy a film that was perfectly made if I hate everything about it. Edited December 15, 2022 by Bartimaeus Quote How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart. In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyrock Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 I like The Northman well enough, not nearly as much as The Lighthouse or The VVitch, but still a quality picture. Besides, who doesn't want to see vikings shouting at each other? RFK Jr 2024 "Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCrimson Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 (edited) 13 hours ago, Keyrock said: This seems like the type of movie that needs to be full-on schlock, but I don't get that vibe from the trailer. My interpretation is that this IS Earth, prehistoric Earth, to be exact. Meaning that the "humans" here are from another planet. I'm getting Planet of the Apes vibes. Maybe they're humans from the far future that have colonized other planets after Earth went kaput, and this ship time-warped to an Earth's past that the living descendants of Earth have forgotten all about. As well as being the cause of the dino extinction. Course, I could be totally wrong. That said - Adam Driver in a solo film, with dino's that aren't Jurassic Park related, sci-fi/touch of horror/action and futuristic guns and stuff. I'm in. Edited December 15, 2022 by LadyCrimson “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyrock Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 I want them to go full-on stupid action schlock with 65. Let the one survivor that Adam Driver rescues be a secret genetically augmented ninja and have her punch dinosaurs. Basically, River Tam from Firefly. RFK Jr 2024 "Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 Thats got to be "Eve"? Ill see myself out. 1 1 "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadySands Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 Saw that Cavill was booted from Superman. I hope playing Superman wasn't a main reason he left the Witcher, that'd really suck. Free games updated 3/4/21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartimaeus Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 (edited) When he left The Witcher, the word on the street was that he had been constantly fighting Netflix and its Witcher production team to try to keep the show and character close to the source material, as he apparently happened to be a fan of it even before signing on. No idea if it's true, it's just what I remember hearing. Edited December 15, 2022 by Bartimaeus Quote How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart. In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarex Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 6 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said: When he left The Witcher, the word on the street was that he had been constantly fighting Netflix and its Witcher production team to try to keep the show and character close to the source material, as he apparently happened to be a fan of it even before signing on. No idea if it's true, it's just what I remember hearing. The show is, so far, better than the source material. 1 "because they filled mommy with enough mythic power to become a demi-god" - KP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadySands Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Sarex said: The show is, so far, better than the source material. Curious to see how the show goes without him. I guess I better start watching it then... Free games updated 3/4/21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarex Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 11 minutes ago, ShadySands said: Curious to see how the show goes without him. I guess I better start watching it then... I assume much worse. "because they filled mommy with enough mythic power to become a demi-god" - KP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted December 15, 2022 Share Posted December 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Sarex said: The show is, so far, better than the source material. How does it feel to be the only person in the world who thinks that way? : > "only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts