do you have diabetes?
Anyway I felt guilty all day. Last night I was at a friends B-Day party and this girl I went to high school with was there. Unfortunately despite be a really cool girl and super nice person she was sort of my groups punching bag. So I spent a couple of hours letting her vent to me about all the terrible things I did and participated in and was witness to and I manage to feel genuine shame. It wasn't like that was all we talked about, she went into alot of aspects of her life, as did I, but I really came out of the whole deal feeling like she has alot of emotional baggage. I am only responsible for a small part of it, but it doesn't minimalism my culpability. I spent a lot of my childhood and some of my adolescence daydreaming specifically about helping people like her and always doing whats right, and here my first chance out of the gate and I just go with the flow and pile on. I know the dynamics of things were more complex then I can remember, but I still fell like crap. The advice I've gotten has been pretty much let her know how bad I feel, apologize and move on, but I guess I believe that I need to sorta feel what I should have back then.