Monte Carlo

NWN2 (Human, Chaotic Neutral Greatsword-wielding Fighter / Barbarian... an archetype but one i've not played for ages). Medieval Total War 2 (Retrofit Mod) I never get bored of playing as England. Am currenty being deliberately contrary and making big buddies with France (turn 130), anticipating late era, high-tech total war all over central Europe. That's it, really. Am busy with R/W stuff. Am looking to install IWD2 for another go, strangely growing on me as one of the best IE games and I enjoyed hanging out on the BIS boards during it's development a few years ago. Am looking forward to: Fallout 3 (sue me, am sure I'll enjoy it more than the first two, so sue me again) Dragon Age Total War: Empires (altho' I'm not interested in naval battles) NWN2 XP2

^ Adding to that, a "Merchant Venturer" prestige class, a bit of a dialogue / lore based rogue with fighter powaz to reflect his rugged out-doorsy retail environment. I'm thinking a bard but with an abacus instead of a lute. Every party needs one.

Obviously, the Returning Frost Dart must, er, return. Apart from that, if we are having jungle adventures I'd say: * Big rubber snakes a la the first Conan movie, preferably in temples, guarded by cultists drinking from cauldrons full of limbs * General Apocalypto style craziness * Poison gas, rolling boulders, Aztec-style temples, blow-guns * The ability to paint my character in black and white zebra-camouflage, a bit like Conan when he's fighting the Big Rubber Snake * If we can be merchants I want a haggling mini-game based on multiple factors / skills / attributes / kama so I can choose to become uber-merchant and sell dead beetles for immense sums of money * A more realistic romance / marraige option where your 'lover' leaves you, takes both your horses, your best suit of armour and boils your familiar before claiming your castle too

^ Isn't that a Feat in 4E D&D?

The new NWN2 expansion pack makes something extremely strange but potentially cool very, very possible: We could actually make a mod that tries to make a D&D version of Jagged Alliance 2, set somewhere in the FR. Build a team of mercs. Take locations and hold them. Buy and sell stuff to buy better mercs. Queen Dedrianna as a D&D NPC, holed up in a fortress with her henchman Elliot (who is an idiot). We could even McGuyver a sort of magical-internet GUI to pass instructions! OK, it might suck and I've the technical skills of a housebrick but I'm prepared to write dialogue. Who's in? Cheers MC

This is another good point beyond my innate hatred of romances in CRPGs. Development time writing soppy romances versus, say, a new exploding head animation, witty one-liner or interesting magic item? Hmmm.

Because they are tragic. Just knowing that a romance script exists offends my sensibilities. In other news... Wahey!

Hmmm. Jungles. Baddies. Party building. Exploration. Buying and selling stuff. NPCs. I'm thinking Jagged Alliance 2 with swords and crossbows. Yay!

Oh, just a quickie, does it mention if the new wilderness content / functionality will be in the toolset or is it stuff that's there already? Am looking forward to some awesome mods if this is the case.

I am pleased. It would appear that there is still hope. This sounds right up my street, a sort of D&D tactics / trading / exploration game. Cool. It was as if they sat down and thought "how do we make a XP for NWN2 specifically for Monte Carlo's birthday?" I shall now re-install NWN2 and buy myself a copy of MotB in anticipation. I'm almost..... excited. Wow. Cheers MC

I love BG2 to bits. I really do. It's the first game I install on any new 'puter. However, it's just a fact that the BG2 NPCs aren't as good as the BG1 NPCs, ironic really given how much extra dialogue they get. I almost always end up with a similar party. OK, I did play a "Team Gimp" game with the less popular NPCs almost all the way to Throne of Bhaal, but I ended up deleting it. Bad Haircut Teifling, Aerie, Druid-Boy etc are no way near as good as Shar-Teel, Tiax or Xan (and i'm not talking about stats, just general coolness). And leaving out Coran was actually the worst game design decision since the Pool of Radiance OS killa bug. Note to Modders - rather than self-indulgent fan-fic whimsy when it comes to making NPCs, why not just recreate the best BG1 NPCs to the quality of, say, Kelsey? That would rock. Cheerio MC

It's not awesome, given that he has the combat ability of a pigeon. He get's insta-chunked in about three rounds, leaving only a 1980's pop band haircut as a reminder that he ever existed. Cheers MC

Well, I'm buying it and some of you might remember that I didn't really like the original Fallout very much. FO2 was good, I'll grant you. But... Tactics. Tactics was great. In fact, why doesn't somebody make a Fallout Tactics game with some Jagged Alliance-style character overlays and just make the Greatest Game Evar?

It comes with a SoundBlaster X-Fi Xtreme card. I didn't order the speakers as I have my own much nicer ones already. I was wondering about the one versus two videocard issue, but was persuaded by sales guy. I'm not playing hours of networked FPS, just want to occasionally enjoy top-end games. For example, I suspect Dragon Age will be a bit of a hawg but I'm anticipating running it on full pelt on this rig. Cheers MC

Why are they spending billions on high-tech warships when the primary threat appears to be Iranian speedboats with forward mounted machineguns?

"After sixteen years in the army, he was catapulted to the rank of corporal" (Woody Allen - Take the Money and Run) My recent family's military history started out reasonably well - My Grandfather was an army dispatch rider in WW2, won a medal for driving through a minefield in N. Africa (why didn't he just drive around it?). Then he fought in Italy, got home in 1946 after five years without coming home. Then it went downhill with my father - He was a National Serviceman in the 1950's. In the UK, National Service was conscription, which lasted until 1962 or 1963 IIRC. My father was an army truck driver, but he deserted. The military cops couldn't be bothered to come for him, presumably having done a quick piece of analysis around his net contribution to the British army. In the end he ended up handing himself in at a police station and was put in charge of an ageing army fire engine. My contribution was little better - I went to the recruitment office. My test scores were so low that when I asked if I could fly helicopters they replied that they wouldn't trust me to fuel one, let alone fly one. Eventually I ended up as a bayonet technician (infantry) in the reserves for five years. We would go to Germany every autumn, dig trenches and wait for the Russians. Or make rude signs at the East German border guards. Or shout very loudly into the little telephones they have at the back of tanks at 0200 to p*ss the crews off. During the first Gulf War we weren't mobilized, which we were all very annoyed about because we were in our early twenties and knew no better. I ended up doing something entirely different but enjoyed every moment of my contact with the military. So enjoy the Navy, and Godspeed Calax. I'm sure you will. Cheers MC

UPDATE: In the end, having done my research and speaking with my bank manager I've decided on the preposterously named but rather powerful Chillblaster-Angry-Sounding-Macho-Rig-thingie: SPECIFICATIONS: 2.66GHz Intel Core 2 Quad Q9450 overclocked to 3.4GHz, 4GB 800MHz DDR2 RAM, Asus Rampage Formula Republic of Gamers motherboard, 1GB Nvidia GeForce 9800 GX2 graphics, 750GB Samsung Spinpoint HD753LJ hard disk, Samsung DVD writer, 20in Samsung SyncMaster TFT, Saitek Eclipse II keyboard, Razer DiamondBack mouse, Creative T7900 7.1 speakers, 2 x PCI-E 16x, 2 x PCI-E 1x, 2 x PCI, 8 x USB, 2 x DVI-I, 1 x HDMI, 2 x FireWire, eSATA, Gigabit Ethernet, S/PDIF, PS/2, Windows Vista Home Premium 32-bit, 2yr RTB warranty. ^ I'm not sure what this means, but apparently it's very, very fast and I will be able to hack into the Death Star and the NSA and stuff on it. I've made my order and customised it a bit - nothing drastic. I have to say, the telephone support was very good, the guy was very patient with a novice such as myself and even helped me save some money on my order by guiding me through my customisation options. I will be playing this Crysis game everybody is talking about, although Fallout 3 and the new Total War game are the ones that I'm really gearing up for. I will post a review, and my Dell (worth about UK

^ Improved Faldorn is in fact just dull, in the end I edit my druid to level 40 or something and just hit her with Devas / Elemental Lords. Which is just plain wrong. OTOH, Kuriosan the Acid Kensai is loads of fun once you get it. He looks indestructible but there is an inherent weakness - figure it out and you can take him down and earn one of the most munchkin magic swords ever to grace a mod.

I can't put them in order, they were all extremely good fun in different ways at different times. However, my rule of thumb is simply the sheer amount of time put into playing them and enjoying myself: Jagged Alliance 2 Baldurs Gate 1 / TotSC/ BG2 / ToB Icewind Dale Close Combat: 3&4 (Eastern Front / Normandy) Medieval Total War Medieval Total War 2 / Kingdoms Dungeon Keeper X-Com - Enemy Unknown Fallout: Tactics (I am an army of one - so sue me) Doom 2 (the only FPS I have ever loved!) MC

Most 'Games Journalism' is a contradiction in terms. Pointlessly overpaid fanbois with ironic facial hair kidding themselves that they are actually writing for a living instead of performing a quasi-parasitical PR role for the industry.

^ That's a fair point. However, IE games are eminently re-playable, and mods simply service that reality. I find the vanilla versions too easy. Having said that, I find some of the mods too hard, i.e I've never beaten Improved Firkraag.

Yay, another game which glorifies crime and which will become readily available to ten year olds. I'm hardly a censorious person, but GTA troubles me.

^ Torgal can be cheesed. 1. He is susceptible to repeated cloudkills (about twenty!). I know, it's wrong, but I've done it. 2. When he does attack he fixates on one character. Haste that character and let the rest of your party put the smackdown on him. 3. Yes, a melee heavy party has a much easier time with him. I usually have at least three full-on tanks in my custom built parties. 3a. In fact, if you do make your own party, try four-six fighter-types. It is a bit of a rollercoaster because some fights are extremely easy, others (i.e. high level with lots of mages) extremely hard. In fact, this type of game is the only one where I've developed a Wizardslayer and been glad to have him around. My party of four was - PC - Human Barbarian (two handed swords) Dwarf Berserker (slashing weapons / 1 H swords) Half Orc Wizardslayer (D/W hammers / maces / flails) Elf single-classed fighter maxed out profs in bows and melee profs in lesser-used 2H weapons (spears and halberds) Finished the whole trilogy but was tough. Cheers MC

^ ^ ^ ^ That's why the game really needs all those mods to keep you on your toes - smarter liches / pit fiends etc can ruin your day and (for example) improved Torgal makes the D'Arnise Keep a proper challenge. Only problem with Tactics is the Monty-Haul levels of loot left behind by the parties that attack you. I was wandering around with 3-4 million GP, giving it away to temples to atone for my "Cloudkill-in-a-tavern" moments.

Apparently you get a free T-shirt. The chicks will love it. Mrs. Monte Carlo has told me that I need to grow up. Then I showed her a couple of customised Alienware rigs (y'now, day-glo green covered in flames and stuff) and she calmed down because the CFJ actually looks quite dull.