This thread has given me new ideas and solidified old ideas for the NWN2 module I'm working on.
Overall, I think this thread highlights one of the big traps of professional game development. I like to think of games as an art form, however as a professional you are dependent upon it from your livelihood. You have to appeal to the consumers. So, while it may be artistically driven, there has to be significant consumer consideration that may interfere with that.
A lot of in-game romances are half-assed as it were. Maybe the developers aren't so much in to them, they don't give them a lot of attention, maybe they're not fitting for what is going on, but they're included because it's what the consumer wants.
Which is why it's awesome to be in my position as a very amateur module maker. I have nobody to please, not requiring this to live. I get the opportunity to be a complete and absolute jerk to my audience in what I develop. Because it's my vision.
I can't emphasize how much I agree with Sawyer. Not just for games, though. Players can go through a game, they can make capricious Drow women not only settle down, they can turn them good. They can make merciless mass murderers change their ways. But, at the end of the game, when the powerful highly intelligent villain tries to get you to join him, you're obviously above such petty influence. Nobody else is, just you.
This is why I want to see some realistic relationships. I also want to see more capable villains, but that's not part of this thread. I want to see relationships start off good, but then for no reason you can see, the female character leaves the PC for his friend. And then the PC is given the option to be really creepy about it. However, you can't do things like that for commercial games. You might alienate your players.
I want to see romance options where trying to pursue them at all makes other characters see you as creepy, even the intended romancee. In general, I want to see more "doomed to failure" romance options in games. Shallow romance options that result as shallow romances do. Romancing a character for 2-weeks and then pretending you're in-love and planning lives together demonstrating how ridiculous the concept really is.
People may ask why I want to see this kind of thing. To draw from popular fantasy, it was very exciting when Anakin Skywalker saved Luke and threw the Emperor down the shaft. But, it was also exciting when Gollum proved ultimately irredeemable. Things don't have to go the way the main character wants or expects in order to be interesting. And I think that's something that is lost in the minds of a lot of players, largely because it's so rarely experienced.