went out to eat with my brother who came home for the weekend and his friend. then came home and sat around felt really... High i guess would be the right word. then within the past hour have gotten really depressed because I'm sitting here on unemployment trying to find a job and failing miserably and otherwise starting to question my exsistance.
No, I'm not in a happy place.
I suppose I've been using the best form of escapism that I know to get away from all the depression in my life by playing ALOT of games. But it still catches up to me in the middle of the night, like an evil worm that's burrowed into my head and I can't get out but still feel move every so often. I mean what the heck am I supposed to do? I've applied to about 10 places. Still got more to go but I'm not willing to go back to McD's (various reasons) and gamestop is throwing less hours at me than taks throwing a compliment my way before I joined the military. There's a part of me that says "Hey Man, this is the life, living on the government and your parent's dime? only having to pay for things you WANT? Whats not to love" then theres another part that's grumbling because the only people I know in the area are shut ins who play WoW like 6 hrs + a day when they have new content.I just... I donno, I want independence but that doesn't seem like it's ever going to happen so I keep going down. I've hit rock bottom TWICE in my life and am not looking forward to hitting it again.