Calax

My psychiatrist gave me a semi-formal diagnosis of "High functioning autistic" today.

... <owns them all. Also I've gotten back into this kinda... managed to finally get a toon to the max level and then just have no idea what to do. Heh, then Calax, maybe you should take a look at the Knights of the Old Republic run they did - the introduction of Zayne Carrick, and the early simmerings of the Mandalorian war and all that jazz? Once you hit that point in-game, have you looked at the CZ-198 and Oricon stuff yet? did the intro to Oricon but not CZ although I did the flashpoints for that and for the Return of "Jedi superman".

... <owns them all. Also I've gotten back into this kinda... managed to finally get a toon to the max level and then just have no idea what to do.

As I was trying to go to sleep I woke up to a text from one of my friends at the airport asking if we'd left yet. I personally was home, and I told him this. He asked if he driver who was supposed to do the late night run was gone and I had no idea. Get a hold of that person, turns out yeah, she'd left early. Once the dust settles from texts and phone calls, a passenger from our 1030 run hadn't shown up for that one (her flight landing later than 10:30) so she'd waited until the 12:15, but nobody made a note like this in the computer, so the driver of the 12:15 had just taken off when she had her one person on her manifest. And because I'm the only guy who's phone is known by the guys at the airport, I get to be the main touchpoint for all of this while I'm trying to get to sleep.

Drunkenly haranguing

I'm tired as heck because they had me on hourly vitals so Every hour at night they checked my pulse and my temperature. Also they were worried about seizures so I had to sleep in the "secure" section (basically a dolled up jail cell) on a mattress on the floor because they didn't have any medical beds that would hold me in the bed if I had a seizure. Today it took five hours to see a psyciatrist and the doc basically said "Well, you seem to be doing better so I'm gonna get you discharged".

I'm back home.

And held by the hospital for at least the night

And now a ride in the back of a cop car for a psych evaluation at the hospital.

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home. And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas And you're happy with that? You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it. Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread. Well I'm probably not gonna care soon. Besides, that's more of a legacy than most people leave behind, and I'm not exactly the type that'll ever get a girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever you want to call it. At least it's a fitting legacy... shot in the head by people I don't know. In response to the bolded, do you need one right now in your life? I've had girlfriends and I've not had girlfriends and ultimately my happiness wasn't due to me being in the relationship (or not being in them). Suddenly finding romance isn't a magic bullet anymore so than anything else in life. And if you don't care, it's not going to hurt to give that 1-800 number a call, is it? I feel like I need SOMEBODY else in my life. I know nobody else can really live my life for me, but Just being alone is tiring and having no advocate in a fight tires me out. Right now I'm attending classes without any real regiment because I'm just to tired to drag myself to class. I still do work, but that has direct consequences for me. Right now I'm hemmoraging money and don't know if I'll have enough to get through the end of the semester without taking out MORE loans. And to be technical, I've never had a "real" girlfriend. Just a friend who I've hooked up with twice (total) in the year and a half I've known her, and a girl who I barely knew when I was 18 that I was an **** to. If I survive I'd hope I'd end up in a relationship somewhere, but as time goes on and relationships lack, I have less and less hope. At this point I feel ultimately worthless and like I've got nowhere to go after school, and I have no idea what I"m doing writing a 20 page research paper on Roman sexuality (which I have 4 pages of notes due tomorrow at 2) when I can barely even complete my homework to the satisfaction of my professors (and that's with constantly skipping readings because I have 0 drive to even think about school at home). I donno, I'll see how tonight works out. Personally I'd prefer to go in my sleep but the resources I have are basically the Ritalin, an anti-inflammitory, two anti-depressants (abilify and Zoloft) and viagra (because.. yeah). I know a mix of two of those will trigger something, but not sure about the other three. For the record, trying to choke yourself out with a belt is harder than it seems.

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home. And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas And you're happy with that? You can't change that legacy if you're not around to add anything to it. Look you're miserable and I get that, but I'd suggest perhaps calling a professional you know like TN suggest or at least 1-800-273-TALK (8255) might do more to help you than what you've been implying in this thread. Well I'm probably not gonna care soon. Besides, that's more of a legacy than most people leave behind, and I'm not exactly the type that'll ever get a girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever you want to call it. At least it's a fitting legacy... shot in the head by people I don't know.

t Not if its a digital clock, when those stop working they usually show no time at all thus being wrong all the time. unless they blink 12:00 all the time

if this works you will see what I am taking... If not we'll I will fix it at home.(It's generic ritalin) And technically the only people who can really interfere here probably won't so it's seeming more and more likely my entire legacy in this world is being shot in the head by thousands of gamers in new Vegas

That assumes you have a reason to continue

I will give a bigger response when I am not on my phone, but for now I will just say that I am slowly working my way through one of my extra bottles of methaphenadate(?) And that generally pros usually don't help me much except to act as a place to just get words out of my system. I am trying to be more social but when work is at odd hours to help pay for a degree that won't do much for me it's hard to Find time to do things It doesn't help that my friends are all workaholics who are in class or at work when I am available so yeah... I am one generally isolated friendless (even in an online context) "creepy" guy who's bluntness gets him in trouble and doesn't have any real prospects for the future personally or professionally.

I'm overweight, no degree and live with my brother. I have been doing contract work for the past years because no one wants to give me a set job. Whatever you issue you have, I win. When you feel like crap, think of that Swedish guy on the Obsidian boards that has it worse. But you're in sweden, That automatically makes it better. And I assume that you've got an active social life and the motivation to do things. I have neither of those.

History... Also, I'm overweight So go me

Well I'm close to graduation but I have no idea what I'm going to do afterwords. I'm the lonliest person on the planet, have a love hate relationship with work, no money, I'm not thrilled with my car, and feel like overall there's no reason to continue with this worthless thing called an existance. Hell even my cat doesn't want to be near me... Only meowing from across the room.

Probably not but I am not exactly caring about my own health anymore. Ames is where obsidianites end up dying... should probably note to be buried in California though

Well taking 6 to 8 times my normal dose of add meds is certainly a unique feeling

Nah, man. The stuff in my garden tastes a hundred times better because there is no chemical waste sprayed on them. Yeah, except for all those pm10 and pm2.5 that cause cancer and are everywhere in the air if you don't live hundreds of kilometers away from all civilization and all roads. I live in a somewhat remote area 50km from a big city and there aren't many cars that pass by (maybe a hundred/day), but I'm never eating what's growing in my garden. It's deadly, man. All that crap from the city, it goes my way if the wind blows my way. And I can't see it or smell it, but make no mistake, it's there alright. I don't know where you live, but the only country in Europe that isn't polluted to death is Ireland. I'm considering moving there. How did the steam thread become "where I should plan my European Vacation"?

2 cans of coke and a half a bottle of Captain Morgan... Didn't tell me how many oz's in the bottle of captain though so *shrugs*

You act like there's supposed to be some sort of difference. Why shouldn't people be allowed to talk about what they want? Because then those peoples icky ideas might get into your ideas and warp your brain to the point that you won't know who you are anymore. Semi-drunkenly-seriously though, The thing about social media in the hands of the social justice elite is that they'll use the tools available to them to censor the opposing viewpoint rather than actually attempt a dialogue because it's much easier to ignore than to engage in a proper conversation where you might be proven wrong *much gasping in the senate chamber*. And social media and the internet in general is designed around ignorance because not everyone wants to hear every hooting **** in several countries personal explanations of why hitler was right.

I am drunker than a skunk in a monk on a lump in a sump doing a chump.... I have no idea what that means but it sounded good.... And I'm covering up my depression with booze. Because I'm trying to be the healthiest overweight middle aged non-college educated yahoo on this plante... GO ME! Wonder how much medication I have in my "pharmacy" that's growing on the microwave...

Shhh, you'll summon the demon of hate that she is to this forum... Although it would be fun to watch her get moderated straight back off.