Gorth Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down. Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father. Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! Darth Vader: No... I am your father! Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible. Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true... Luke: NO! Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours? Luke: Threepio? Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old... Luke: No... Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp... Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star! Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship! Luke: Well, it's not my fault... Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!" Luke: Shut up... Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights! Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby! Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it. Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine... Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him. Darth Vader: Get a haircut! “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Michael Chu Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 On top of that, Luke doesn't even realize that his chopped off hand is going to come back to haunt him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaguars4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Nice one Gorth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sniggy Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 On top of that, Luke doesn't even realize that his chopped off hand is going to come back to haunt him. A furious lightsaber duel is underway. As he cuts down his opponent, Luke notices something crawling out of the shadows toward him. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go, so he faces his opponent. He looks down. Luke: ? the hell is this? Hand: I am your hand, Luke. Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible. Hand: Search your feelings... you know it to be true... Luke: NO! Hand: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that old lightsaber of yours? Luke: The one that belonged to my dad? Hand: Yes... it's here... in my... er.... right here! Luke: No... Hand: Hahahahaha! Now you shall die by my own... by your own... Luke: Hand? Hand: Shaddap! YOU abandoned me- you just left me to die on that planet... Luke: Well, it's not my fault... Hand: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy cut my hand off...waahhh wahhh!" Luke: Shut up... Hand: You're a slacker! If you stayed with Yoda, i'd still be attached to your arm. But noooo... Luke: It's not too late... Hand: *sigh* no... I see that someone else has already taken my place... Luke looks at his robotic hand. Luke: No, this is stupid. you're not my hand... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine... The Hand lunches towards Luke, but with a swift stroke of his saber, Luke cuts the abomination in half. Luke looks at the remains of the Hand. Luke: Eeew. Should've cut your nails.... punk.... It's very hard to be polite if you're a cat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 lol both jokes are funny but, the vader and luke one is better. Le donne sono da venus, la scopata sa dove sono gli uomini da. For a different kind of Kotor chat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darque Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 lol Good find Gorth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonIrenicus Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Life... is strength. That is not to be contested; it seems logical enough. You live; you affect your world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackFlag311 Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 Uhhh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumjalum Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? A. He felt his presents. We now bring you live footage from the World Championship Staring Final. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorth Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? A. He felt his presents. ^^ “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkerguy Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Don't mean to be a necromancer, but I was looking for Star Wars jokes/riddles. I got some to add: (I can't put text upside down so I'll but it backwards) *What is Obi-Wan's favorite pastime? start here> gnittuc ffo smra *What does the weakest sith ever do when he says the classic line: "Now you will feel the full power of the Dark Side"? start here> snrut ffo eht thgil *What color lightsaber best represents a Hutt? start here> !nworb *Why didn't the Clones succeed in killing all the Jedi in Order 66, allowing evil to rule supreme? start here> 6 driht eht togrof enitaplaP *What musical instrument is popular on Endor? start here> temleh repoortmrots *What did the Stromtrooper tell Vader when he recovered the tapes on the Tantive IV (say it had happened)? start here> eseht naht retteb era soediv dvd ym *What planet were the stormtroopers named after? start here> !ah ,oinmaK *What TV network did Luke disrupt on Bespin? start here> lennahC rehtaeW *Whats the difference between a Hawk and a Falcon? start here> sraey 0004 Thats it. Twitter | @Insevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorth Posted March 7, 2008 Author Share Posted March 7, 2008 Nice ones I moved it to the general Star Wars section. If you check the date of the original post, it predates the time where the Star Wars (and Kotor2) sections existed. “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humodour Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Haha. I remember this thread. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChorusOfOne Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Haha. I remember this thread. <3 Heh, nice Gorth, like the Luke/Vader dialogue... Intel Core i5 760 2.8 GHz / MSI P55-CD53 / 8 GB G.SKILL Ripjaws X Series PC10666 1333 MHz DDR3 / MSI GeForce GTX 560Ti Hawk Edition 1 GB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkerguy Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 What about some KotOR dialouge jokes? I don't think I could do well on those, and thats why I did riddle/jokes. Twitter | @Insevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIOShazard Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 What about some KotOR dialouge jokes? I don't think I could do well on those, and thats why I did riddle/jokes. Ok: Kreia and the Exile are speaking of Visas Kreia:I warn you, do not mate with her. No matter what urges.. lust.. you feel. It would cause.. uncertainty(something to that effect) Exile: Its not like I'm gonna charge up her loading ramp Kreia: ... *Visas looks up, and Briana feels a tingle down her spine, as they both run towards Kreia's room* Visas: My life... for yours Briana: not a chance, Schutta. *Exile slowly backs out of the room as that section of the ship is broken off by the ensuing cat-fight* Part of Rise of the Sith TSL Mod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCrimson Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp... Funny stuff. “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkerguy Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 What about some KotOR dialouge jokes? I don't think I could do well on those, and thats why I did riddle/jokes. Ok: Kreia and the Exile are speaking of Visas Kreia:I warn you, do not mate with her. No matter what urges.. lust.. you feel. It would cause.. uncertainty(something to that effect) Exile: Its not like I'm gonna charge up her loading ramp Kreia: ... *Visas looks up, and Briana feels a tingle down her spine, as they both run towards Kreia's room* Visas: My life... for yours Briana: not a chance, Schutta. *Exile slowly backs out of the room as that section of the ship is broken off by the ensuing cat-fight* I played female exile and thats it so far. Twitter | @Insevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIOShazard Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 What about some KotOR dialouge jokes? I don't think I could do well on those, and thats why I did riddle/jokes. Ok: Kreia and the Exile are speaking of Visas Kreia:I warn you, do not mate with her. No matter what urges.. lust.. you feel. It would cause.. uncertainty(something to that effect) Exile: Its not like I'm gonna charge up her loading ramp Kreia: ... *Visas looks up, and Briana feels a tingle down her spine, as they both run towards Kreia's room* Visas: My life... for yours Briana: not a chance, Schutta. *Exile slowly backs out of the room as that section of the ship is broken off by the ensuing cat-fight* I played female exile and thats it so far. doesn't that make it even more uncomfortable? Play as Male. Its funnier Part of Rise of the Sith TSL Mod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChorusOfOne Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 What about some KotOR dialouge jokes? I don't think I could do well on those, and thats why I did riddle/jokes. Ok: Kreia and the Exile are speaking of Visas Kreia:I warn you, do not mate with her. No matter what urges.. lust.. you feel. It would cause.. uncertainty(something to that effect) Exile: Its not like I'm gonna charge up her loading ramp Kreia: ... *Visas looks up, and Briana feels a tingle down her spine, as they both run towards Kreia's room* Visas: My life... for yours Briana: not a chance, Schutta. *Exile slowly backs out of the room as that section of the ship is broken off by the ensuing cat-fight* ...And "echoes" were felt through through the Force..." LOL, can't help but to bust on the theme behind Obsidian's writers... They used the "echo" reference a few times in NWN 2 and about 1,000 times in KOTOR 2, haha... Intel Core i5 760 2.8 GHz / MSI P55-CD53 / 8 GB G.SKILL Ripjaws X Series PC10666 1333 MHz DDR3 / MSI GeForce GTX 560Ti Hawk Edition 1 GB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkerguy Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 What would be the most "off" battle between a jedi and a sith? Weak example: Vader vs. Bastila Twitter | @Insevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAWUSS Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 What about some KotOR dialouge jokes? I don't think I could do well on those, and thats why I did riddle/jokes. There was a thread dedicated to that - things KOTOR characters would never say DAWUSS Dawes ain't too bright. Hitting rock bottom is when you leave 2 tickets on the dash of your car, leave it unlocked hoping someone will steal them & when you come back, there are 4 tickets on your dashboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan_Mace Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 On top of that, Luke doesn't even realize that his chopped off hand is going to come back to haunt him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorth Posted March 12, 2008 Author Share Posted March 12, 2008 What Michael was referring to was Luuke Skywalker. You know that sniggy hasn't been logged on for like 3 years? “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIOShazard Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 this thread is 4 years old, and it only has two pages? That itself is a joke Part of Rise of the Sith TSL Mod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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