One got away

[Thorton_AP]

There's been a lot of talk in the daily blog about 'ones that got away'. Those romantic flings we now regret and miss every day.

 

However, as you may have noticed I spent yesterday receiving a barrage of texts from one of mine. And after the intensified regret and general increase in temperature, I suddenly realised something. The correspondence got to a big enough level where I started seeing, and remembering more than the obvious pleasant features. Submerged habits and character traits which more than destroyed the positive, like a stone in a slipper.

 

Long story short: don't regret the ones that got away. They didn't get away. It didn't work. You moved on. And for bloody good reasons, if you trouble to think about it.

 

At least that's how I feel. Thought I'd bring it into the open so maybe we can all cheer the **** up.

 

Sorry dude, but in my case, it wasn't like that.

 

I blame myself for who I was, I wish I was me now - then. In which case, she wouldn't have got away.

 

But for the most part I like your sentiment.

 

Who you are now is the sum of all of who you were in the past.

 

You being who you are now is a result of who you were back then with her.

[Orogun01]

So, anyone have any suggestions on things I could try to meat someone who will eventually be the one that got away? Keep in mind, I work for the Railroad and am away from home 85% of the time in changing locations and hours that switch often.

My advice to you would be either to become more open about your straight edge views (maybe influencing them into finding a balance) or try to compromise a bit with them. After all relationships are give and take. Won't be easy, but keep your fingers crossed.

[Gfted1]

So, anyone have any suggestions on things I could try to meat someone who will eventually be the one that got away? Keep in mind, I work for the Railroad and am away from home 85% of the time in changing locations and hours that switch often.

My advice to you would be either to become more open about your straight edge views (maybe influencing them into finding a balance) or try to compromise a bit with them. After all relationships are give and take. Won't be easy, but keep your fingers crossed.

 

Be. the. mayonaise.

[Orogun01]

So, anyone have any suggestions on things I could try to meat someone who will eventually be the one that got away? Keep in mind, I work for the Railroad and am away from home 85% of the time in changing locations and hours that switch often.

My advice to you would be either to become more open about your straight edge views (maybe influencing them into finding a balance) or try to compromise a bit with them. After all relationships are give and take. Won't be easy, but keep your fingers crossed.

 

Be. the. mayonaise.

Just so that people will get the reference, you should have linked it

 

http://personaleffectiveness.blogspot.com/...nnaise-jar.html

[Gfted1]

So, anyone have any suggestions on things I could try to meat someone who will eventually be the one that got away? Keep in mind, I work for the Railroad and am away from home 85% of the time in changing locations and hours that switch often.

My advice to you would be either to become more open about your straight edge views (maybe influencing them into finding a balance) or try to compromise a bit with them. After all relationships are give and take. Won't be easy, but keep your fingers crossed.

 

Be. the. mayonaise.

Just so that people will get the reference, you should have linked it

 

http://personaleffectiveness.blogspot.com/...nnaise-jar.html

 

I wish thats what I meant, its much more profound, but I was referring to:

 

Autumn's like, "Joe, you should be the mayonaise in a Jess & Ife (the girl's house we're staying at, She's Swedish/Nigerian) sandwhich."

[Walsingham]

I can relate to your story Orogun, at least a bit. My first and big one who got away took the mickey out of my pug headeded seriousness by insisting she should try and rollerblade up this massive hill near where we were living. Born ray of sunshine.

 

OK, maybe that one was me being an idiot. But importantly I'd never have gone the way I have professionally, and done some very good stuff if we'd stayed together. I'd have probably become a carpenter or something.

[Rosbjerg]

I was told by a very sweet and beautiful girl recently, that I was the one who got away.. What do you say to that? "Sorry? had I known back then, I would've jumped you in 0,3 seconds!"..

 

I've had a lot of missed opportunities and a lot of chances that I shouldn't have taken but all in all I've never truly regretted anything.. I've always treated it as a cherished memory or a good story.

[BicycleOfDeath]

So, anyone have any suggestions on things I could try to meat someone who will eventually be the one that got away? Keep in mind, I work for the Railroad and am away from home 85% of the time in changing locations and hours that switch often.

My advice to you would be either to become more open about your straight edge views (maybe influencing them into finding a balance) or try to compromise a bit with them. After all relationships are give and take. Won't be easy, but keep your fingers crossed.

 

The funny thing is, in all of my relationships I've been compromising and open. The one I actually had the most 'success' in was my marriage and I was a complete **** and not myself. As for my convictions, I won't be flexible with them. However, none of it them are requirements for my significant other. Though, as every relationship fails, I wonder if they'd be better off as requirements.

[Orogun01]

So, anyone have any suggestions on things I could try to meat someone who will eventually be the one that got away? Keep in mind, I work for the Railroad and am away from home 85% of the time in changing locations and hours that switch often.

My advice to you would be either to become more open about your straight edge views (maybe influencing them into finding a balance) or try to compromise a bit with them. After all relationships are give and take. Won't be easy, but keep your fingers crossed.

 

The funny thing is, in all of my relationships I've been compromising and open. The one I actually had the most 'success' in was my marriage and I was a complete **** and not myself. As for my convictions, I won't be flexible with them. However, none of it them are requirements for my significant other. Though, as every relationship fails, I wonder if they'd be better off as requirements.

You could try a retrospective view of all your relationships, see where all went wrong or if it was doomed from the start. Maybe there is a pattern there, I know my lot of failed relationships has helped my love life. A thousand lessons in defeat, right?

[Nightshape]

I dont think Ive had "one get away" in my adult life but I did have an epic fail in high school. There was this one girl I lusted after for three years and finally during my senior year I got her. She was stunningly beautiful. We were all set to go to a Halloween keg party when she went and got in trouble with her parents and couldnt go, so she sent her fat friend along to escort me. This is where my tale turns tragic. A heroic amount of drinking led to me sleeping with the fatty, who immediately reported back to the hottie. Hottie dumps me. I am sad.

 

Thats not the one that got away, that is proof you're a jerk.

[Nightshape]

I can't stand not being in control of my actions at all times (I'm sure others would appreciate that, too, if they found out what a violent drunk I am).

 

That's sad, it shows how on edge you must be, to follow your impulses because of intoxication, sounds like it sucks to me.

 

My brother is also very similar.

[kirottu]

I dont think Ive had "one get away" in my adult life but I did have an epic fail in high school. There was this one girl I lusted after for three years and finally during my senior year I got her. She was stunningly beautiful. We were all set to go to a Halloween keg party when she went and got in trouble with her parents and couldnt go, so she sent her fat friend along to escort me. This is where my tale turns tragic. A heroic amount of drinking led to me sleeping with the fatty, who immediately reported back to the hottie. Hottie dumps me. I am sad.

 

Thats not the one that got away, that is proof you're a jerk.

 

What? That was charity work, you silly goose.

[Nightshape]

There's been a lot of talk in the daily blog about 'ones that got away'. Those romantic flings we now regret and miss every day.

 

However, as you may have noticed I spent yesterday receiving a barrage of texts from one of mine. And after the intensified regret and general increase in temperature, I suddenly realised something. The correspondence got to a big enough level where I started seeing, and remembering more than the obvious pleasant features. Submerged habits and character traits which more than destroyed the positive, like a stone in a slipper.

 

Long story short: don't regret the ones that got away. They didn't get away. It didn't work. You moved on. And for bloody good reasons, if you trouble to think about it.

 

At least that's how I feel. Thought I'd bring it into the open so maybe we can all cheer the **** up.

 

Sorry dude, but in my case, it wasn't like that.

 

I blame myself for who I was, I wish I was me now - then. In which case, she wouldn't have got away.

 

But for the most part I like your sentiment.

 

Who you are now is the sum of all of who you were in the past.

 

You being who you are now is a result of who you were back then with her.

 

That would seems sensible, but it was genuinely a time thing... It takes time to go through an education system, it takes time to start a career.

 

Its complicated, I haven't changed as a person, I've just travelled the path I was on anyway.

 

To be fair to you though, its not like I have really given enough information to actually allow you to form a fair opinion.

[Thorton_AP]

Ah, so what I am reading here you made a decision based on what you thought was best at the time, and the road you've gone down turned out to be less awesome than you had figured, so you feel you made the bad choice?

[Raithe]

"No matter how many people you love in your life, there'll always be one you loved the most."

 

Relationships fail for so many reasons. Sometimes for sensible reasons, sometimes for just screwed up happenstances.

Then there are relationships that don't so much end, as get twisted up, half-strangled and linger like some escapee from a mad scientists lab.

 

You can ignore and compartmentalise a lot of emotional baggage. There are times new relationships can heal the wounds from old ones. Sometimes those wounds just loiter and skulk like a mustachio-twirling villain. So about all you can do is try to ignore them and carry on with life. But they'll still find ways to pounce on you when you're not suspecting.

[Krookie]

hey angrykidjoe; why'd you hit her?

Edited February 6, 2011 by Krookie

[Hurlshort]

hey angrykidjoe; why'd you hit her?

 

Not to speak for Joe, but I doubt there was a specific reason. My wife and I have arguments where I get so angry I end up slamming my fists down on counters. Sometimes I literally shake with rage. Now I've never really been close to hitting her, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I did that, but I imagine very few married couples don't hit that frustration level at times. The crazy part is the actual point of the argument is rarely as important as the total breakdown of reasonable communication skills.

[Walsingham]

On the one hand I get incredibly angry with men who hit women. On the other hand I've smashed my own fist to splinters on a concrete wall, I've been so furious with women. I guess the point is that the latter is my own damn business.

 

Wrote a letter to my sunshine of earlier. Will never send the damn thing because it's pointless. I might as well apologise to Lenin's corpse.

 

It's actually been a good day today, rather than depressing as you might think. I just don't tend to let go of things. And I know this makes me a tit for posting all this online, but if it makes you chaps feel better, then at least the lesson hasn't been totally wasted.

[BicycleOfDeath]

hey angrykidjoe; why'd you hit her?

 

Not to speak for Joe, but I doubt there was a specific reason. My wife and I have arguments where I get so angry I end up slamming my fists down on counters. Sometimes I literally shake with rage. Now I've never really been close to hitting her, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I did that, but I imagine very few married couples don't hit that frustration level at times. The crazy part is the actual point of the argument is rarely as important as the total breakdown of reasonable communication skills.

 

My wife was the first person I told about being raped at age 13 by my friend's alcoholic father. She was making fun of me for it in an argument. I'm not going to repeat what she said so don't bother.

[Nightshape]

I might as well apologise to Lenin's corpse.

 

LMFAO!!!

 

Oh you should send the letter, I can't even bring myself to write mine, its so damn futile.

[Guard Dog]

hey angrykidjoe; why'd you hit her?

 

Not to speak for Joe, but I doubt there was a specific reason. My wife and I have arguments where I get so angry I end up slamming my fists down on counters. Sometimes I literally shake with rage. Now I've never really been close to hitting her, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I did that, but I imagine very few married couples don't hit that frustration level at times. The crazy part is the actual point of the argument is rarely as important as the total breakdown of reasonable communication skills.

 

My wife was the first person I told about being raped at age 13 by my friend's alcoholic father. She was making fun of me for it in an argument. I'm not going to repeat what she said so don't bother.

Ok I must admit that really was asking for it. You don't take someones trust and use it against them like that. I'm not saying it was right but... well it is a little more understandable.

 

My wife told her lawyer I was abusive, that was a lie. She persisted until she found out that Florida was a no fault state and it did not help her in the least even if it were true. My lawyer told me that was a standard divorce tactic and to not make it seem true by rising to that bait.

[Nightshape]

Ah, so what I am reading here you made a decision based on what you thought was best at the time, and the road you've gone down turned out to be less awesome than you had figured, so you feel you made the bad choice?

 

I let the girl I love go, well more placed my foot on her butt and pushed her out of the door, because it was the right thing to do, she deserved a chance at a life, career, to be near her family etc... It was just the right thing to do, even if such a sacrifice has left me with a massive empty hole, and an inability to feel a full range of emotions, it doesn't matter, it was the correct thing to do.

 

I cut myself off from her completely, not until after I'd acted like a massive idiot mind. Nothing ever changed for me, I feel exactly the same today, as I did when I first met her, it wouldn't have been fair to stay in touch.

 

Even now, I wouldn't ever bother her, not even to say hello. As bizzare as it may sound, I get by knowing that my absence is the best thing for her.

 

She can be happy without me...

 

Do I think I made a bad choice? No. I could have handled it better, sure, but its all for the best, I'd never have been good enough for her, I was way way out of my league. I'm also an absolutely awful person to be in a relationship with.

[Nightshape]

"No matter how many people you love in your life, there'll always be one you loved the most."

 

Relationships fail for so many reasons. Sometimes for sensible reasons, sometimes for just screwed up happenstances.

Then there are relationships that don't so much end, as get twisted up, half-strangled and linger like some escapee from a mad scientists lab.

 

You can ignore and compartmentalise a lot of emotional baggage. There are times new relationships can heal the wounds from old ones. Sometimes those wounds just loiter and skulk like a mustachio-twirling villain. So about all you can do is try to ignore them and carry on with life. But they'll still find ways to pounce on you when you're not suspecting.

 

So true...

[Walsingham]

Wrote a letter to my sunshine of earlier. Will never send the damn thing because it's pointless.

 

 

:o

 

*Checks nothing has been sent*

 

Bloody hell, that's a relief.

 

~~

 

Joe, I'm kind of fundamentalist about not hitting women, but if ever I had to choose one OK reason that might be it.

 

EDIT:

 

Re-reading the letter it's kind of sad, and was obviously written by me when I was inexpressibly drunk. But hilariously, being me, all the punctuation and spelling is correct.

Edited February 6, 2011 by Walsingham

[Raithe]

"No matter how many people you love in your life, there'll always be one you loved the most."

 

Relationships fail for so many reasons. Sometimes for sensible reasons, sometimes for just screwed up happenstances.

Then there are relationships that don't so much end, as get twisted up, half-strangled and linger like some escapee from a mad scientists lab.

 

You can ignore and compartmentalise a lot of emotional baggage. There are times new relationships can heal the wounds from old ones. Sometimes those wounds just loiter and skulk like a mustachio-twirling villain. So about all you can do is try to ignore them and carry on with life. But they'll still find ways to pounce on you when you're not suspecting.

 

So true...

 

Well I had to cut that short.. otherwise my metaphors would have really started getting convoluted and weird..

Edited February 6, 2011 by Raithe