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Featured Replies

Will it include any references to Uwe Boll's masterpiece? :lol:

 

Knowing Obsidian, they make make fun of it. :sorcerer:

I heard the DS movie was the least horrible of Uwe Boll's portfolio.

I heard the DS movie was the least horrible of Uwe Boll's portfolio.

 

It means that it mercy kills people instead of torturing them?

Seriously, we're talking about Uwe Boll here.

I heard the DS movie was the least horrible of Uwe Boll's portfolio.

Postal & Far Cry are way better. DS movie has some cool fight scenes and Claire Forlani, but those are about the only redeeming qualities.

 

Still, the movie's complete lack of focus & plot is remarkable close to the actual DS game. The DS game seemed to make up the plot at the spot as one trounched baddies... "oh yeah, you just killed a dragon, now go further east for more answers"... "so after killing the evil Seck Necromancer, the heroes decided to go to the Temple of Doom to investigate", etc.

Edited by virumor

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

I loved Matthew Lillard's performance in that flick. He is a true comedy genius.

I heard the DS movie was the least horrible of Uwe Boll's portfolio.

Postal & Far Cry are way better. DS movie has some cool fight scenes and Claire Forlani, but those are about the only redeeming qualities.

 

Still, the movie's complete lack of focus & plot is remarkable close to the actual DS game. The DS game seemed to make up the plot at the spot as one trounched baddies... "oh yeah, you just killed a dragon, now go further east for more answers"... "so after killing the evil Seck Necromancer, the heroes decided to go to the Temple of Doom to investigate", etc.

 

He did a Far Cry film too? That's news to me.

The problem is that everybody nowadays compares fantasy flicks with Lord of the Rings. Boll's flick is not worse than anything that came out in the 80s. It's a bit like Krull.

 

I loved Matthew Lillard's performance in that flick. He is a true comedy genius.

inthenameofthekingadung.jpg

 

Pure awesome.

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

The problem is that everybody nowadays compares fantasy flicks with Lord of the Rings. Boll's flick is not worse than anything that came out in the 80s. It's a bit like Krull.

 

And that's a good thing.. how? :)

The problem is that everybody nowadays compares fantasy flicks with Lord of the Rings. Boll's flick is not worse than anything that came out in the 80s. It's a bit like Krull.

 

And that's a good thing.. how? :ermm:

Hey, Krull was awesome!

 

You like hentai visual novels. Your argument is invalid. :)

Krull is awesome - particularly the optical effect used on The Beast that for years made pan-and-scan versions of the film nearly incomprehensible (also has an early appearance by Liam Neeson).

 

However the 80s were king for wild low-budget fantasy films, ranging from the good (Hawk the Slayer) to the hilarious (The Barbarians) the weird (Yor Hunter from the Future) and the cheesy (Ator the Fighting Eagle)

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

The Barbarians

That was a fun movie. Haven't thought about that one for years.

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

IMO its sad it is unavailable on DVD (and long out of print on VHS) in the US.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

Hawk The Slayer was good when I was fourteen, but I saw it again recently and realised that it was so-bad-it's-really-bad.

 

Except the silly string spell effect by the wizard.

sonsofgygax.JPG

Lies! All lies! It is pure awesome buried in a layer of thick velveeta cheese.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

The problem is that everybody nowadays compares fantasy flicks with Lord of the Rings. Boll's flick is not worse than anything that came out in the 80s. It's a bit like Krull.

 

Wait what?

 

80's Movies have at least charm or deliever good things. Boll movies are deliberatry made to insult people. Not to mention 80's scripts were were still better than AITD or Tunnel Rats.

 

Also both FC and Postal are horrible. Especially Postal. While the original games still poked fun in some morbid way, the movie just did stupid things and made it as insulting as possible.

 

 

And the entire time you know this guy just does it for the money in his scheme. At least Ed Wood movies were still filled with love from Ed Wood. He liked making the movies and it showed. As utterly bad as they were.

 

 

Boll on the other hand just trolls and is as arrogant as possible a person can be.

 

 

 

 

So, no Uwe sucks.

The problem is that everybody nowadays compares fantasy flicks with Lord of the Rings. Boll's flick is not worse than anything that came out in the 80s. It's a bit like Krull.

 

 

fantasy movies of the 80s include:

 

dragonslayer

conan the barbarian

ladyhawke

princess bride

dark crystal

 

the star wars films is arguably fantasy, so you might throw a couple of 'em into the mix as well.

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

ps we forgot time bandits... and if you wanna get technical, throw in witches of eastwick and raiders of the lost ark

Edited by Gromnir

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

And the original Clash of the Titans

Excalibur

Time Bandits

Beastmaster

Sword and the Sorcerer

Legend

Red Sonja

Conan the Destroyer

Highlander

Willow

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

I heard the DS movie was the least horrible of Uwe Boll's portfolio.

:sorcerer:

alone in the dark is by far his most funny movie imo

 

i was laughing almost non-stop throughout

 

dungeon siege was just boring


Killing is kind of like playin' a basketball game. I am there. and the other player is there. and it's just the two of us. and I put the other player's body in my van. and I am the winner. - Nice Pete.

Alone in the Dark was just...just...I'm not sure what it was but it was about as bad as anything I've ever seen (inexplicable jumps in time, incoherent plot, characters that made no sense).

 

It made House of the Dead seem awesome in comparison.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

Wait.. you watched more than one Uwe Boll's movie and SURVIVED?

That's one hell of a feat.

my friends and i have on occasion watched uweboll marathons (copious alcohol is a requirement)

 

alone in the dark is like this generations Plan 9, I highly recommend it as a "comedy", second of course, to The Room (which is a masterwork in awfulawesome)

 

WARNING: trying to watch a boll movie, or The Room, as an actual film and not a joke is about as much fun as stabbing yourself in the eye

Edited by entrerix


Killing is kind of like playin' a basketball game. I am there. and the other player is there. and it's just the two of us. and I put the other player's body in my van. and I am the winner. - Nice Pete.

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