Awtarah is a beautiful land, its cities tower high, and its people reap the wealth its colonial empire brings. As you watch it fade into the distance, waving goodbye to your mother and sisters, you wish you could remain. But alas, economic hardships have forced you into this situation, and the Awtarahn Imperial Police is a well-paying job, and will provide for your family. The road ahead is paved with perils, and as soon as the coast is out of sight, you're back to work.

 

Nesiyya. An island chain. A land where a boy can become a man. But most importantly, a land rich in spices and fruits, to provide quite ably for Awtarah. You have no illusions, no romanticized hopes or dreams, just raw determination to do right by your kin. Day fades into night, hard work becomes tedium, and soon enough you have arrived at Nesiyya.

 

You are shuffled about through a customs service, and finally find yourself in a military building with a man, somewhere in his mid-thirties and certainly not growing weak, staring you, and the other recruits nearby, down. One of the bureaucrats who's been bussing you around for a minute speaks up, meekly, saying "Meet your new Lieutenant, Lieutenant Bodgers."

 

Bodgers just stares you down, and you silently hope your family will be all right.

 

. . .

 

Weeks have passed, and you're in the middle of the local jungle. Suddenly, you hear movement in the foliage. "Hold," says Lt. Bodgers. All is silent for a few breaths, and everyone looks carefully around, hoping to spot whatever is here. With lightning precision, a Riliki warrior, in some sort of ceremonial garb, leaps out of the foliage and stabs Doblo, who was lagging behind, and retreats back into the shadows before he can be stopped. "Circular formation!" shouts Bodgers, and you readily get into formation, setting your sword and shield to defend yourself and your neighbors. Kniri, the platoon's sorcerer, is meditating deeply in the center, and you have no idea what sort of magic he is planning to unleash.

 

But suddenly, something unusual clatters behind you, which you don't get the chance to see. Bodgers, however, yells out "Break formation, retreat south!" A few seconds later, a large explosion rocks behind you, nearly making you lose your balance. You're suddenly deaf, however, though that doesn't prevent you from seeing that much of your platoon is scattering, and that several more members have died.

 

What do you do?

I put on my robe and my wizard hat.

Edited September 13, 200916 yr by kirottu

I take off my robe and my wizard hat.

I suppose I retreat south, as I was ordered.

A wayward brick hits you in the head, and you are knocked unconscious.

I parry!

King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik

I flick a switch in my mechanical left arm which activates its secret secondary function... a grenade launcher!

I take off my robe and my wizard hat.

 

My sweaty muscular body is glistening in the sun and I throw a coy look at Lt. Bodgers.

I take off my robe and my wizard hat.

 

My sweaty muscular body is glistening in the sun and I throw a coy look at Lt. Bodgers.

 

Dang, that's why you won the writing contest.

I take off my robe and my wizard hat.

 

My sweaty muscular body is glistening in the sun and I throw a coy look at Lt. Bodgers.

 

Lt. Bodgers looks back and I feel strength draining from my body. It

I fire my minigun wildly into the foliage.

I fire my minigun wildly into the foliage.

 

That reminds me of Robowar for some reason.

It should remind you of Predator.

It should remind you of Predator.

 

As it happens Robowar is a really bad movie trying to unsuccessfully copy Predator.

It should remind you of Predator.

 

I find strangely coloured blood on the leaves.

I find strangely coloured blood on the leaves.

 

I die horribly.

I turn left.

SAMWISE EAT ROPE

i do a backflip

I dig a hole.

I put on my robe and wizard's hat.

I wonder if this is going anywhere.

It might, the robe and wizard hat works every. single. time