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Squirrel goes on rampage, injures 3


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BERLIN (Reuters) - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

 

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.

 

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

 

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

 

"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

 

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

 

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I guess it can happen to anyone. You get so stressed out and crazy you just.... can't.....freaking .....take it any more!

Get off my lawn!

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I always give them a wide berth when I am out running. Filthy tree rats.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Squirrels are awesome. My grandfather nicknamed me squirrel because I would climb the trees out front like the squirrels who ran around in their yard. We also had tons of squirrels at my college, including a very friendly albino who would eat out of your hand.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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We shoot squirrels around here.

Yeah... well... I train squirrels to shoot back around here!

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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How exactly do you tell if a continent has rabies? Do the beaches get foamy?

Random mammals (bats, dogs, etc) get the virus, and can even pass it onto humans. Some countries do not have it, notably the UK and Australia.

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

ingsoc.gif

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

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We shoot squirrels around here.

Yeah... well... I train squirrels to shoot back around here!

 

You want to be careful doing that. Look at what happened with the ISI and the Talibs! You'll have squirrels turning up demanding you live like them in the trees, and stop dancing.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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We shoot squirrels around here.

Yeah... well... I train squirrels to shoot back around here!

 

You want to be careful doing that. Look at what happened with the ISI and the Talibs! You'll have squirrels turning up demanding you live like them in the trees, and stop dancing.

And what's wrong with that? Maybe we could learn a thing or two.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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We shoot squirrels around here.

Yeah... well... I train squirrels to shoot back around here!

 

You want to be careful doing that. Look at what happened with the ISI and the Talibs! You'll have squirrels turning up demanding you live like them in the trees, and stop dancing.

And what's wrong with that? Maybe we could learn a thing or two.

 

I don't know if I could manage shinning up those trees. I expect it would chafe my face.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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We shoot squirrels around here.

Yeah... well... I train squirrels to shoot back around here!

 

You want to be careful doing that. Look at what happened with the ISI and the Talibs! You'll have squirrels turning up demanding you live like them in the trees, and stop dancing.

And what's wrong with that? Maybe we could learn a thing or two.

 

I don't know if I could manage shinning up those trees. I expect it would chafe my face.

Sounds like a personal problem.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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How exactly do you tell if a continent has rabies? Do the beaches get foamy?

Random mammals (bats, dogs, etc) get the virus, and can even pass it onto humans. Some countries do not have it, notably the UK and Australia.

 

NOBODY GETS ME.

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[quote name='Tale' post='780310' date='Jun 14

 

I don't know if I could manage shinning up those trees. I expect it would chafe my face.

Sounds like a personal problem.

 

No. If my groin got chafed that would be a personal problem.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I wouldn't want to be 70 and need rabies shots.

 

I love squirrels, but if one was attacking me, I'd whack it with a stick, too. :blink:

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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I couldn't make it funny, so I retreated to pedantry. (Also, your comment wasn't that funny, so it was better that we end it; I thought that my comment might provide a neat way to draw a line under the disasterous lack of comicality.)

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

ingsoc.gif

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

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I couldn't make it funny, so I retreated to pedantry. (Also, your comment wasn't that funny, so it was better that we end it; I thought that my comment might provide a neat way to draw a line under the disasterous lack of comicality.)

 

Shutup.

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I had a friend whose mom would put out birdfeed for the neighborhood birds. She would get pissed when she saw squirrels sitting calmly on the birdfeeder eating away.

 

So if we were lounging around playing the ol' NES she would tell us to take chase the squirrels off...with the rifle. I was about 13 at the time and I was just excited that I got to shoot a rifle. I never managed to hit one of them, but my friend was a pretty a good marksman.

 

After he shot a squirrel we would go to investigate. I remember being morbidly fascinated staring at the inner contents of the squirrel.

 

Thinking about it now, my friend's mom was crazy.

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I couldn't make it funny, so I retreated to pedantry. (Also, your comment wasn't that funny, so it was better that we end it; I thought that my comment might provide a neat way to draw a line under the disasterous lack of comicality.)

 

Shutup.

:thumbsup:

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

ingsoc.gif

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

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