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The Chimpocalypse approaches


kumquatq3

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They grow bolder still!!!

 

Link:Police Hunt for Chimps After Fatal Attack

 

 

FREETOWN, Sierra Leone - Police hunted Monday for chimpanazizees* that escaped from a Sierra Leone preserve and mauled a group of American and local sightseers, killing one man and injuring four people.

 

The U.S. Embassy warned Americans against traveling to the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary, where the chimps escaped before Sunday's attack on a taxicab.

 

The Sierra Leonean driver died as the chimps ripped his body apart, and three Americans were treated at a hospital for minor injuries, said Oliver Somasa, a top police official.

 

Another Sierra Leonean man in the group had his hand amputated after the mauling, Somasa said. U.S. officials had no further comment. The Americans were in Sierra Leone to help build a new embassy building, Somasa said.

 

Armed police were searching Monday for 27 chimpanzees, Somasa said, while four others had already returned on their own accord to the reserve.

 

Somosa said it was unclear why the chimps attacked or how they were able to escape.

 

Chimpanazizee* attacks are unusual but not unprecedented.

 

Two chimps that escaped from their cages in a California sanctuary severely mauled a man in March 2005 before the man's son-in-law shot the animals to death.

 

You have been warned :ph34r:

 

* Word may have been slightly altered

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Chimps are well known for their violent tendencies. I myself have been bitten on the achilles tendon by a chimpanzee.

 

I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: punched it in the face until it let go, and then threw it over a hedge.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Dammit, Kum! Didn't you kill their leaders? If so then what the heck is this renewed fighting morale?

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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The chimps took a cab to attack some Americans!! They should said they were Canadian. WHy did they kill the driver? Surely they realised he would be able to get them back home...

 

The drivers cover was blown. He was actually one of my deep cover field operatives. The chimps counter-intelligence network is more sophisticated than originally thought. Thats the 3rd operative lost this year.....

 

 

........but the war goes on....

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Dammit, Kum! Didn't you kill their leaders? If so then what the heck is this renewed fighting morale?

 

We are not sure at this time. We are picking up chatter of some kind of "Super-Chimp" seizing command of their broken ranks. At this time it can neither be confirmed nor denied.

Edited by kumquatq3
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:ph34r:

 

I swear if I hear that battlescreech one more time...heads are gonna roll.

Edited by Musopticon?
kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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No. You don't know about the chimps and what they are cabable of at all. Almost no one does. Even Kum shuns from telling. :ph34r:

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Good riddance. The thin, aka everyone else except you, will survive. We're the ones who get to breed, so nyah nyah.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Everyone else except US /= Europe

 

Well, it's not like two thirds of the world matter.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Everyone else except US /= Europe

 

Well, it's not like two thirds of the world matter.

 

"You all"

 

meaning forum members that are not posting from the US (or the 51st state of Canada) are almost 100% Euros.

 

Hence "you all" wouldn't get your stated benifit for long

Edited by kumquatq3
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Meta wrote: "US citizens make better eating, with all that extra fat..."

You wrote: "We fatten ourselves up to be eaten..."

I wrote:"The thin, aka everyone else except you, will survive..."

 

I was replying to you. I obviously meant the US, since it was what you were conversing about. Surrepfaltus just happened to post when I was writing.

 

I win. YOU LOSE. :(

Edited by Musopticon?
kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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Meta wrote: "US citizens make better eating, with all that extra fat..."

You wrote: "We fatten ourselves up to be eaten..."

I wrote:"The thin, aka everyone else except you, will survive..."

 

I was replying to you. I obviously meant the US, since it was what you were conversing about. Surrepfaltus just happened to post when I was writing.

 

I win. YOU LOSE. :)

 

I have no idea what your point is supposed to be, but I do know that I think that you're a CHIMP SPY!!!

Edited by kumquatq3
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