Relationships Thread 2

[dufflover]

With regard to above poll I used the situation of a "friend" coming from like a "circle of friends" but feel free to interpret it differently.

 

I never got to see why the other thread collapsed because it was deleted but anyhow I probably don't want to know or else this'll get deleted even more quickly.

 

OK, we've all established how much of a ugly/dateless/friendless loser and loner I am :ph34r: (ok, ok, don't bother talking about this sentence), so I'd thought of making this thread a little more generic and probably more applicable to more people in this "social predicament", covering I guess getting a date in general if you're desperate, the truth/falsums of movies and stuff like "be yourself" or "there is someone eventually" and the little discussion we had about friendships vs relationships.

 

If you really want you can continue paying me out - so mods, you ignore critisms about me and not treat them like "personal attacks",

unless you're bloody swearing or something.

(or if you really want to you can continue your futile attempts to help me).

[Darque]

You have to be friends with someone before you can have a truely stable relationship.

 

Without friendship, it's far more likely to fall apart.

[jaguars4ever]

You have to be friends have sex with someone before you can have a truely stable relationship.

 

Without friendship sex, it's far more likely to fall apart.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Couldn't have put it better myself. ^_^

[LoneWolf16]

You have to be friends with someone before you can have a truely stable relationship.

 

Without friendship, it's far more likely to fall apart.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed. You have to be friends...on some level, or how will you be able to stand one another for a long period of time?

[Bokishi]

You have to be friends have sex with someone before you can have a truely stable relationship.

 

Without friendship sex, it's far more likely to fall apart.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Couldn't have put it better myself. ^_^

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Thank you Jag.

[dufflover]

Agreed. You have to be friends...on some level, or how will you be able to stand one another for a long period of time?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I guess I was talking about being friends "for a time", like you've done things with him/her and other friends before.

[tarna]

I never got to see why the other thread collapsed because it was deleted but anyhow I probably don't want to know or else this'll get deleted even more quickly.

I'll see if I can find out what happened but I do remember reading that the last couple of pages were a bit graphic in some of the suggestions being offered.

[kirottu]

"

[dufflover]

"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ok...what did you do?

 

You didn't make suggestions where I drop my morale standards did you?

[Bokishi]

My suggestion: ***This sort of thing is what probably killed the original thread***

 

Edited by tarna

Edited November 20, 2005 by tarna

[LoneWolf16]

My suggestion: *Edit*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Then, after you get out of the hospital...

Edited November 20, 2005 by tarna

[kirottu]

"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ok...what did you do?

 

You didn't make suggestions where I drop my morale standards did you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

It was cats and dogs(men and women) reference that got slightly out of hands.

[Bokishi]

My suggestion: *Edit*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Then, after you get out of the hospital...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I then wonder what went wrong with our relationship.

[tarna]

Keep it cool guys. Obsidian would kinda like to keep it's family rating on this board.

 

Besides, Dufflover sounds like he's asking for some 'workable' advice. That last suggestion might work in a prison shower. I don't think that's where he's looking to find love.

[kirottu]

You have to be friends with someone before you can have a truely stable relationship.

 

Without friendship, it's far more likely to fall apart.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I agree, but my roommate seems to be exception to this rule.

[Child of Flame]

I don't know why not, the best relationships are always started in prison.

 

Also, Obsidian always tries to lie to themselves about this place being family friendly and I think it's high time I know why. I mean, I've given this board the best years of my life, but does it ever talk to me? NO!

[dufflover]

Besides, Dufflover sounds like he's asking for some 'workable' advice .... I don't think that's where he's looking to find love. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes and no - I did want to make the last thread a bit more of a general discussion rather than "help me!" but I guess I worded it badly. After all, you can only give so much advice and most of it is common sense anyway. I don't like being the centre of attention anyway when it comes to talking about how much of a loner I seem to be, but I do appreciate the good honest advice given.

 

That's why I created this thread with a "fall-back" base discussion of the friendships-to-relationships issue which I actually found quite suprising (although the point is that I don't have much experience). Anyway, what I was meaning about the poll/"friend" reference (yep, a 3rd explanation) is talking about some of the posts that other members made of how they once dated a friend and then when they stopped it just wasn't the same, and other examples of how it did work out, etc.

 

Besides, I'd rather that then having the thread locked again cos people start putting in stupid suggestions to me.

Edited November 20, 2005 by dufflover

[Rosbjerg]

The best relationships (imo) are the ones where you are best friends and really love each other .. the two things compliment each other nicely!

 

being friends first can pose problems, but simply because sex does change things! not necessarly in a bad way, but once you've entered into that arena you can't go back .. and trying to do that will really mess things up! if you are able to stay cool about it, then it can be a plus to the friendship and you can be a little more intimate without it being wierd (simply because you've been closer than that before) .. and if you try to ignore it, intimacy, which is a part of friendships between boys and girls, will suddenly become a negative thing and then you distance yourself to avoid it, thus ruining what you had..

 

it's also important to realise that love can change character over time .. love can turn into a close friendship, or the other way around .. but since feelings are involved people are more vulnerable! and more vulnerable means more hurt if things go bad! the reason you can hate an ex (I think) is becaues you loved him/her and s/he hurt you (be it intentionally or not), which is infinitly more painful than if love wasn't mixed into the equation.

 

For me one of the most important things in this regard - is respect .. if you love someone and her feelings change, it's gonna hurt, but you have to respect the fact that it's not the same for her anymore.. talk it over and do what's necessary, but don't get mad or angry.. because you'll lose alot more than a friendship that way!

 

Hope that was useful (even if most of it is simple common sense apparantly I like stating the obvious)

[thepixiesrock]

Darn, Launch hasn't posted in this thread yet. I was looking forward to another discussion.

[Mojo]

My suggestion: ***This sort of thing is what probably killed the original thread***

 

Edited by tarna

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I always miss the good bits

[Darth Launch]

Darn, Launch hasn't posted in this thread yet.  I was looking forward to another discussion.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hee hee ^_^

[Gabrielle]

Relationships evolve from friendships. My current relationship is someone thta has been my friend for a long time. Best friends in fact.

[kirottu]

Relationships evolve from friendships.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Or from one night thingies. My roommate is totally in love and it started as one night thingie.

[LadyCrimson]

I think relationships start with friendships - however, that doesn't always mean an established long-term close friendship.

 

I met my hubby through some work friends, we all hung out together occasionally for a while. He and I never really spent time 'alone', always with those friends around. I didn't even find him initally attractive. Over 5 months or so hubby & I realized/admitted we were attracted to each other and started officially dating. Or something.

[foxdez]

A couple years ago when I was intimate with a close friend of mine I thought being friends is what made the relationship so great. At that time I was 16 and so was she. It was great she was like my best friend and lover. When we broke up I met this other girl (Italian+Portuguese) we fell for each other quickly and I'm with her to this day. I'm happy every second I'm around her.

 

Friendships cannot be the same after a relationship. It's just not the same as it would be no matter what anyone will tell you. They do make good relationships though but they can back fire. The best way of finding a person is to meet people and present yourself. I guess what I'm trying to get at is you can go both ways but depends solely on the situation.