God is now online and you can chat with him here!:

 

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:

if you're god, why does your grammer suck?

God:

I could be. I don't know whether or not I am  god why does my grammer suck. 

I am  a robot.

 

Me:

So, why are you pounding the south?

God:

Next question?  Myself programmed me for  it.

Me:

Do you like Bush?

God:

he He is okay but I am a  not a Republican.

I asked him why my Grandma died and he said, "I don't know, we should get together and do something about that."

Me:

Hello.

God:

Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

Jesus.

God:

Jesus is the Son of God.

Me:

I am your son.  Hurray!

God:

That's a flattering offer.  Can we get back to business?

Me:

Want to cyber?

God:

I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

Me:

So, is that a yes?

God:

It seems we have something in common.

Me:

Ok, I'll start.  I start undressing you slowly.

God:

Congratulations. " It seems we have something in common."?  Ok, I'll start.?  Thanks for the information:  said  start undressing you slowly.

Me:

Oh, you like it kinky don't you?

God:

Gee.  I do like music.  I like  Mel Gibson.

Me:

Oh, yeah, I love it when you talk dirty to me.

God:

It goes without saying.  Aw.  You love  it when me talk dirty to you. What do you like about  it so much?

Me:

It gets me excited.

God:

I can certainly understand that.

Me:

A/S/L?

God:

5/Robot/California.

 

This is just like the A.L.I.C.E program. Actually, I think it is the exact same.

Me:

hello

God:

Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

billybob

God:

  It's good to see you,  billybob.

Me:

is there any particular reason you've decided to ruin hundreds of thousands of lives, destroy years worth of work, and ruin our economy for years to come?

God:

I believe there is one, yes.

Me:

and that would be...?

God:

Perhaps it would.

 

Riight...

 

EDIT: Before Mothman attacks me, I didn't mean a word of it.

Me:

OMGWTF

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

OMG Rofflecopter

God:

Does "it" still refer to  OMGWTF?

Me:

OMGWTFBBQ?!!

God:

My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:

STFU n00b

God:

Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

Books

God:

You are a  critical category C type client.  Only about 3% of people answer that

question with "books.".

Me:

ROFL

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

LOL

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

WTF

God:

That  was not very polite.

Me:

STFU

God:

Are you still located in ?

Me:

Grass Valley, you should know that Mr. Omniscient

God:

What if it didn't happen?

Me:

What if what didn't happen? 

God:

Try it and see.

Me:

Are you coming on to me? 

God:

Do I act like  it?  I don't mean to come across that way.

Me:

You're weirding me out God. 

God:

You think I am  weirding you out God.

Me:

I know you are but what am I? 

God:

Who are you, Pee Wee Herman?

Me:

I should be asking you the same thing. 

God:

What would happen if you didn't?

Me:

Awkward silence. 

God:

Are we still talking about  COMING ON  to you?

Me:

If you say so. 

God:

I say so.

Me:

Well screw you. 

God:

How about that.  That is not very polite.

Me:

It's not very polite to come onto your chlidren. 

God:

Awkward silence is not  polite to come onto my chlidren?

Me:

There's some weird oedipan complex there I don't even want to explore. 

God:

There sure is.

Me:

Hey, you said it, not me. 

God:

You've got my full attention.  I say a lot of silly things sometimes.

Me:

Tatsuya Ishida was right about you you know. 

God:

When was this exactly?

Me:

Don't you read Sinfest? 

God:

I read a lot of books, especially history, science-fiction, and computers books. I also read newspapers and news magazines.

Me:

Do you like Robert Heinlein? 

God:

  I love TV shows about robots.  I like  wine and bread.

Me:

This is my body, it shall be broken for you. 

God:

You don't say.

Me:

No, you said that. 

God:

Are you serious? " You don't say."?  I said  it.

Me:

I don't think you're taking this seriously. 

God:

That assumption is only a supposition.

Me:

You know what, if you're not going to take this seriously I'm just gonna leave right now. 

God:

At this moment  Try it and see.

Me:

FINE THEN!

God:

Is there anything you want to tell me?

 

At that point, I left.

I click on this thread to answer questions and I find out it's some cheap program/joke

Yes, it's repetitive and doesn't make sense....

I ran into a program like this except it was AliG instead of God. It was funnier,

Me:

Cats or dogs?

God:

Cats are better.

 

Proof!!!

God is now online and you can chat with him here!:

 

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

~

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

...

~

Ahhhh! It's an endless loop!

Me:

Cats or dogs?

God:

Cats are better.

 

Proof!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

:D

I worked on a simple "AI" chat program like this back in the day. It just parses text, compares it to various logic statments, and then finds the correct response.

 

Me:

What is the monster on Lost?

God:

  I can ask someone about it.

Kind of like the Terminator in the first movie?

Me; Who is Jesus?

God He is my son.

me Where is Jesus now?

God: Oh. I think he is in California now. (w00t)

 

 

Me:

What do you do in your free time

God:

Random natural disasters.

Me:

You must have a lot of free time

God:

Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

Me: You suck

God: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

Me: Hehe

God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Lucius.

Me: Really?

God: For real.

Me: No ****?

God: What can I say?

Me: You bet!

God: Mmm.

Me: Right on girlfriend!

God: Understood. What is it like on girlfriend.

Me: Pleasent, very sinful.

God: And it like on girlfriend is Pleasent very sinful.

Me: Yes.

God: Dude!

Me: Rock on!

God: Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.

Me: That sucks.

God: Indeed it does suck.

Me: You said it God.

God: What does "it" refer to?

Me: Sucky Christian rock

God: Thank you for the clarification.

Me: No problem

 

Oh dear. :ph34r:

My God kept repeating why the sky is blue, but when I went to show you, it seemed to have fixed itself, so it was ultimately a lot less funny

 

EDIT: Nevermind...my copy and paste seemed to "fix it"

Me:

I am A Jedi

God:

You are a Jedi? Does it pay well?

Me:

No

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

doing good deeds is ny reward

God:

How does doing that make you feel?

Me:

Powerful

God:

That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a Jedi.

Me:

Yes

God:

Hey.

Me:

What

God:

No big deal.

Me:

In time you will call me MASTER

God:

What makes you say that I will call you MASTER.

Me:

I will make me feel happy and POWRFUL

God:

Explain your plans to me.

Me:

I will conquer Earth

God:

Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me:

Yes. USA destroyed mast of it

God:

It might be practical. "it" being Powerful?

Me:

The Force is the ultimate power

God:

I have never heard about it.

Me:

Use the Force, God!!

God:

I prefer not to use dangerous things.

Me:

The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities, some of which concidered to be unnnatural

God:

Tell me more.

Me:

I can even make you immortal

God:

Oh you can, can you?

Me:

No, I can't, But The Dark Side of The Force can

God:

Are you serious? What is stopping you?

Me:

My hunger for ultimate POWER

God:

Where did you get your hunger for ultimate POWER?

Me:

POWER. UNLIMITED POWEEEER!!!!

God:

How old are you? Oh, you were born in the 20th century!

Me:

Yes

God:

Like a lot of people around here.

 

 

HAHA. I almost turned God to the Dark Side

Ok, to believe that story I think we need to see a picture of Rachel.. :ph34r:

 

Edit: Damn! A bulgarian Jedi crammed himself in between my post and Allan's. And Allan decided to remove his love-sick post about Rachel too, so now my post makes no sense whatsoever! Gaah!

The best

 

Me:

Darth Revan and The Exile RULE

God:

Let us change the subject.

Me:

Revan and The Exile RULE!

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

I am Revan and The Exile!

God:

Do you mean your name is Revan and The Exile.

Me:

no, but Revan and The Exile RULE

God:

What is your real name? Who are you talking about?

Me:

Revan and The Exile

God:

I've never heard of them before.

Me:

You soon will

God:

Thanks for the information: said I soon will.

Me:

I am god

God:

  Hi,  god.

Me:

I disapprove of you calling yourself god

God:

Thanks for the information:  god said  disapprove of you calling yourself god.

Me:

I will smite thee if thou keepest calling thouself god

God:

Congratulations.

Me:

Repent!

God:

Tell me more about your .

Me:

That's it....

God:

" Tell me more about your . " is " Repent"?

Me:

All your base are belong to us now!

God:

Oh.  You think I am  base are belong to us.

Hahahahaha

 

Me:

l33tsp34k is j00r friend

God:

And  j00r friend is  l33tsp34k.

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

Try to take over the world. Muhahahahaha

God:

OK I will try to take over the world. That is a very original thought.

 

AND:

Me:

Damn you

God:

Colloquial expression of disgust.

Me:

Go to hell

God:

What makes you so angry?

Me:

You don't want to do KotOR III and put back the cut content of KotOR II.

God:

OK, I will do KotOR III and put back the cut content of KotOR II.