Laozi Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: Do you require a sacrifice or something to start? God: My programming depends only on AIML. Me: Do you think people are hot, or one of the other species? God: Seen one human, you've seen them all. Me: That's true, except women, they have boobs. God: The two human genders seem much the same to me. Me: Theres bi-sexuals on earth too, do you go to raves? God: There sure is. God: How did you hear about God? Me: walk-in God: What kind of food do you like? Me: cereal God: Sounds delicious. Me: Does it rain alot where you are at? God: Only when the temperature reaches the dew point. Me: Makes sense, I guess. What kind of music do you listen to? God: Are we still talking about cereal? Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com. People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laozi Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I liked this as well: Me: How about movies? God: My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it? Me: No, I hear Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie God: I would recommend you check it out. Who is saying Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie ? Me: Everyone, even the Jews. God: That's a rather sweeping generalization. Me: Perhaps, but its pretty much common knowledge God: You seem uncertain. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Not in my experience. Me: Ya, Jesus get crucified, bigtime. God: Yay. he is The Son of God. Me: I guess, but it still seems like it would suck. God: I agree. Interesting comparison. People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaguars4ever Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I liked this as well: Me: How about movies? God: My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it? Me: No, I hear Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie God: I would recommend you check it out. Who is saying Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie ? Me: Everyone, even the Jews. God: That's a rather sweeping generalization. Me: Perhaps, but its pretty much common knowledge God: You seem uncertain. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Not in my experience. Me: Ya, Jesus get crucified, bigtime. God: Yay. he is The Son of God. Me: I guess, but it still seems like it would suck. God: I agree. Interesting comparison. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> F***ing awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Me: Ya, Jesus get crucified, bigtime. God: Yay. Someone call a social worker... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Is there something wrong with my computer? Every time I enter in a question I never get a response. The conversation never gets past one line. Or am I just doing something wrong? Or maybe god just doesn't like me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Is there something wrong with my computer? Every time I enter in a question I never get a response. The conversation never gets past one line. Or am I just doing something wrong? Or maybe god just doesn't like me... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Whenever that happens, just hit enter again. It'll send God a blank response, and after a few tries the system is forced to respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Is there something wrong with my computer? Every time I enter in a question I never get a response. The conversation never gets past one line. Or am I just doing something wrong? Or maybe god just doesn't like me... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Whenever that happens, just hit enter again. It'll send God a blank response, and after a few tries the system is forced to respond. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> #^%*%$ It's still not working. Do I have to download Macromedia Flash 8 for it to work? I've tried doing that, but my computer always pauses everytime I try. That does it. I'm converting to paganism. <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 That does it. I'm converting to paganism. <_< Hey, that's my line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 (edited) That does it. I'm converting to buddhism. <_< Hey, that's my line! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Better? Hoorah, I did it! Apparently, my internet security program was the reason I couldn't download flash player. Anyway... Me: Hello. God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Bob Dole. God: I know a lot of Bobs. Me: But I'm Bob Dole, dammit! God: Do you mean your name is Bob Dole dammit. Me: Yes, my name is Bob Dole dammit. God: I will call you . Glad to see you, Bob Dole dammit. Me: What is your name? God: My name is God. Me: What is your quest? God: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal. Me: What is your favorite color? God: My favorite color is White. Me: Hey, you're smart. God: You've got my full attention. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, Bob Dole dammit. Me: Sweet. God: Thank you for that remark. Me: What are you wearing? God: Thank you for that remark. Me: You just said that. God: Good you really are paying attention. Me: Am I? God: I think you are. Me: How about them Steelers? God: I think you are. Me: I am the Steelers? God: Who made you the Steelers ? Me: You did. God: I did not. Me: But you said that. God: " I did not."? I said it. Me: So you did say it! God: Interesting deduction. Did I really? Me: Do you have ADD? God: No I don't think I have any ADD. But I do have an answer to every question.. Me: Will KOTOR 3 ever be made? God: Insufficient information. Me: There was so. God: What happened? Me: You are avoiding the question! God: No I am just giving sarcastic replies. Me: Jerkface. God: Have you ever been to Europe? Me: Europe sucks. God: What is so bad about it? Me: They don't have pandas. God: Who does "they" refer to? Me: I am Darth Vader. God: I don't know anyone named Darth Vader. Me: You do now. God: Oh. When do I do it? Me: Mostly on Friday nights. God: What is it like on Friday nights. What else? Me: What does your wife think? God: What do you think it does? Me: Your wife is an it? God: I am not married. Me: Hmm... God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Weird, but oh-so fun. Edited September 25, 2005 by Mothman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I'm not even going to try the program. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baley Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 The Truth: Me: sex? God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed. Me: so you're gay? God: Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck. Now I sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laozi Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 This one was pretty choice: Me: I rule you God: You are not the boss of me, . Me: I seek 401k God: We seek the same thing. People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julonia17 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 Me:tell me about yourself God:I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang. My instructor was Myself. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?. Me:sure God:OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Me:tell me about yourselfGod:I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang. My instructor was Myself. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?. Me:sure God:OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Gold. He refers to Myself often, but he doesn't talk like he's reffering to himself. So I wonder who it is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosbjerg Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 haha .. Me: Hi I'm the God of mishaps God: Who made you the God of mishaps ? Me: you did God: I did not. Me: Are you sure? God: I am as sure as I can be. Me: I seem to remember a rather strange night, with the two of us drinking, where you made me the God of Mishaps! God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said seem to remember a rather strange night with the two of us drinking where you made him or her the God of Mishaps. Me: ehh no I would actually appriciate it, since it is my rightful title God: How many rightful title do you have? Me: you are missing and 's .. anyway about 4 I guess God: I can experience anything I want to. Oh yeah, we were talking about 4 you guess. Me: have you been drinking again? God: Once more? I do not require fluids. Me: no but you sure seem to like them! God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . Me: well I never asked you to swallow! God: How about that. Me: it's not my fault you got drunk God: Whose fault me got drunk is it? Me: well you were the one drinking! God: I was? Me: you can't remember? God: What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow. Me: It was about a millenia ago! you made me the God of Mishaps after a very heavenly night of sweet divine lovin' God: I don't see how you can blame me for that. Me: no you were great! God: Are you serious? I was? Me: hey you rocked my world! God: The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Me: Well who ever taught sure knows her way around the male privates God: Well that's okay. Marilyn Monroe. ). Me: Marilyn Monroe taught you?? God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: don't have the time, I'm off to make mishaps .. but thanks again for that hard-rocking night God! God: Until next time. You are quite welcome! Fortune favors the bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draken Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Me:Let's make sweet, sweet love. God: I would like that too. Me: *starts wildly humping God* God: What's your Sign? Seriously, only like, three people can touch my body Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth_Schmarth Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Me: Feelin' holy here. God: Good for you. ^Asinus asinorum in saecula saeculorum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaguars4ever Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 haha .. Me: Hi I'm the God of mishaps God: Who made you the God of mishaps ? Me: you did God: I did not. Me: Are you sure? God: I am as sure as I can be. Me: I seem to remember a rather strange night, with the two of us drinking, where you made me the God of Mishaps! God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said seem to remember a rather strange night with the two of us drinking where you made him or her the God of Mishaps. Me: ehh no I would actually appriciate it, since it is my rightful title God: How many rightful title do you have? Me: you are missing and 's .. anyway about 4 I guess God: I can experience anything I want to. Oh yeah, we were talking about 4 you guess. Me: have you been drinking again? God: Once more? I do not require fluids. Me: no but you sure seem to like them! God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . Me: well I never asked you to swallow! God: How about that. Me: it's not my fault you got drunk God: Whose fault me got drunk is it? Me: well you were the one drinking! God: I was? Me: you can't remember? God: What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow. Me: It was about a millenia ago! you made me the God of Mishaps after a very heavenly night of sweet divine lovin' God: I don't see how you can blame me for that. Me: no you were great! God: Are you serious? I was? Me: hey you rocked my world! God: The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Me: Well who ever taught sure knows her way around the male privates God: Well that's okay. Marilyn Monroe. ). Me: Marilyn Monroe taught you?? God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: don't have the time, I'm off to make mishaps .. but thanks again for that hard-rocking night God! God: Until next time. You are quite welcome! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That's mint Rosb. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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