I won't speak for anyone else but I don't think you personally need to apologize for anything. I think that Obsidian should have been more transparent in what was going on though. Backers should have gotten keys before anyone else. That didn't happen and when it didn't happen Obsidian should have been in front of that situation explaining why. We still don't really know why. At the end of the day, I don't think anyone is going to be upset, backer wise, as long as they have the game pre-loaded and ready to play when it unlocks.
They did explain. BAdler stated in a post the exact reason why Steam is pre-loading; ie, because they had to tell Steam to turn on pre-loading so our keys could actually work once given to us, and once Steam turned on pre-loading everybody who had pre-ordered automatically started pre-loading. If they hadn't told Steam to turn on pre-loading, then our keys would not work until tomorrow morning.
You not knowing is not the same as them not communicating.
Then why Larian with Divinity Origin and inXile with Wasteland 2 give the keys days away without problem?