Starwars

Good thoughts, and sorry about being burned like that. The most worrying aspect of it for me has been that her attraction to may me be that well, I'm just pretty different than her hubby, personality-wise. I was worried that she may only attracted to me because of that, which is an easy thing to trap your mind in so to speak. Then again, in a way I feel that is just how humans work and I feel that... that's no reason not to try. Same with the possibility of lying. She's had a relationship earlier which lasted 12 years, the one she is in now has lasted 4. And then a random relationship in her teens or so, but nothing beyond that according to her. Could she be lying? Sure. But I don't want any sort of suspicion to take over, because I do trust her on that. And her breaking up is really, really nothing something she's doing lightly. Obviously there *are* warning signs because, well... she did cheat on the guy with me. But at the same time, while I was not in that kind of heavy moral dilemma, moving in on a hitched girl is something I always said to myself I would *never* do. There appears to be some "personality change" in both of us at the moment. It's one of those things where, well... Is it bad because we are "untrustworthy" and don't know ourselves as well as we should? Is it good because we obviously awaken something in each other that wasn't necessarily there before? Don't have the answer for that one. I've always been a very cautious guy, and while the whole cheating thing went beyond what I usually "allow" in my life, I do try to proceed with caution. I can't see myself "stopping" so to speak though, because I enjoy her company too much. If it ends up burning me (and I'm sure I'll regret these words if it happens), then so be it. But I feel I must take the chance at the moment.

I'm only saying this because I've been in the same place more than once, and (as most of us do) I try to make others validate my decisions SO... This is a rude thing to say, but I guess I can since I don't know her and it's not like a personal insult. There's a good reason why you wouldn't normally imagine being in this position. It's because it's a mess. Messes are inherently exciting, and often seem harmless because they're exciting. But they aren't once the first buzz wears off. My advice is to back off immediately. Stop sleeping with her. Help her. But don't ford straight into something immediately. Lend her money to get a place on her own if you have to. Just don't let her into yours. If she's still interested once she's made the break properly and is running under her own steam, then fair play. caveat I am after all an Englishman and emotions are to be feared and mistrusted, like sheep. Not rude at all, and yeah... Believe me, I've been having lots of thoughts along those lines, especially before... well, the last month or so. The parts I meant that I'm enjoying is just being with her. All the rest of it (with her hubby etc, and keeping it "secret") has been an immense pain and not something I would like to go through again. Then again, it felt good enough to wait it out as it is now. Though if she hadn't acted, I obviously would have broken it off since I'm not interested in being the "second man" as a friend put it. A few other things that give me confidence. A) While she hasn't been a "friend" per say, we've been workmates for a long time now and it feels pretty good to have gotten to know the "non-romantic" side of her so to speak. We've always gotten along personality-wise. B) The breakup with her hubby isn't something that has popped into her head now, those thoughts have been there a fairly long amount of time, even before I started talking to her. Me getting involved has obviously sped that up though. C) She's really not the type of woman that goes from man to man, leaving wrecked relationships behind her. Judging from her history, I'd say she's almost the opposite. D) I'm not interested in her moving in her with me other than as a temporary solution if things really go bad in the break-up (it doesn't sound like it will at the moment), and she is not interested in that at all either. The plan is for her to find a place of her own and we'll take it from there. I mean, I have no idea how well it will work out in the long run of course, but it feels really strong now at least. I couldn't really see myself passing up on the opportunity.

Yep, it's the nurse... Haha. XD EDIT: Hurlshot, does she go into the bedroom? Because... ya know...

Talked with a woman I rather fancy over the phone just now... Man, it's such a crazy story. We've been working together (every now and then, not always) for about 3 years now. Always liked her as a person, but she had a house and hubby so I figured eh... I won't make an effort to get close to her (even as a friend) because those things usually go wonky. Over the course of this time, she sometimes talked about her life at home and how it sometimes didn't work out between her and the guy. They get along but she always described it as he didn't really understand her as person, and I always got the impression that they were really pretty incompatible. About 6 months ago, I started to take a liking to her more and more. At the time I didn't understand (or I blocked it off in my mind maybe) this, and figured that hey, maybe we'll develop a nice friendship. So, started to hang out with her a bit outside of work in November/December. And a while back, we ended up, uh... getting together so to speak. Which is crazy because A) I really, really never figured myself to be a guy that would move in on a girl who was already hitched and B) she really, really never figured herself to be a woman that would cheat. And now, she is looking for a new place to stay (my place is really too small except if it turns into an emergency) and has broken the news to the guy she's living with that she wants to end the relationship. It's just... such a crazy story to me, and a situation I *never* imagined myself being in. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy that it is happening because I really, really like her and feel stronger about her than I've ever done before about a person. But sometimes I just think about it all and it's like... man, what on earth is *happening*? Phew!

It's going to get funded at any rate, and it'll still be available for purchase when it comes out if you decide to change your mind. I think sometimes people get a bit... obsessive over their (and others) kickstarter pledges. It's good to remember that the games will be available for purchase when they come out.

Pretty awesome!

I'm all for as a non-linear approach as possible. Well... Maybe not *that* far but yeah, I really want a lot of choice in the story. I would welcome a "Fallout style" approach where the focus is really on the player and who you choose to support. That said, I think it *can* be combined pretty successfully, or more successfully than has been done at least. I think you can combine the sorta... "politicking" approach in Fallout (by that I mean which ideologies you want to support), with the more personal hook that we also know Project Eternity will have. If we, generally speaking, talk about the IE games I by far would prefer them to be more open in terms of their stories. Torment is *sorta* an exception because it's just so different with how much effort was put into the story part of it all, and it's just so enjoyable to me that it works anyways. But I have a lot of faith that they will strike a good balance.

Been playing some X-Com Enemy Unkown again. Overall I think this is an extremely fun game that is marred a bit by some unfortunate design decisions. I think what's hurting my replay the most is that it has tendency to get repetitive. I find myself groaning each time there is a UFO mission because... Well, they just tend to be unintersting. It's a perfect example of something that *should* in my opinion feel really special but in this game, they happen so often that they just tend to get boring. And just a pain to navigate at times. Also, the council missions where you escort dudes also get... kinda meh with the setup of Thin Men falling out of thin air. Especially later in the game where it just feels weird to fight Thin Men who are... basically early game enemies. On the other hand, the regular abduction site missions can be quite a lot of fun at times. And I find myself cheering each time I get a terror mission. These *should* feel special I think, but I think they could've bumped up the frequency of them happening just a bit more. Bomb Disposal missions are also fun, if extremely frustrating and hard at times.

Personally, I hope more tha the endgame won't be yet another example of "here, have a grand ol' battle with a million enemies to kill". Or if there has to be a battle, keep the many skill applications so there are some... dynamics to it. I can't tell you how bored I get when there's hours of fighting because hey... EPIC! Fallout was brought up above and I think that's a great example of a good endgame in my book. I always liked that there are two "endgame areas" that you can tackle in any order, that just lessens the feel of being funneled, the feeling of "well, now the majority of the game is over... time for the final endgame corridor". And they weren't just combat slogs, or even very long in themselves. I'm completely fine if the game ends afterwards though (with epilogues and all that good stuff of course), just time to roll up a new character.

Prior to seeing this, I wasn't crazy about the style for the characters but the trailer really made it all come to life. Looks beautiful.

That's an interesting idea, if they manage to tap into that special mindset of "the horrors of the world in the mind of a child" so to speak. Could be supremely scary if they go for a slightly surreal angle, with absurdist ideas. The nightmares of children. I don't think that clip was particularly interesting though but hopefully they can do something good with it.

Fahrenheit and Heavy Rain are games with some design goals that I actually really would like to see more of in games generally speaking. The problem with Cage's games is that they're just extremely stupid, and sometimes extremely creepy. And what's even worse, very pretentious, which makes them fail even harder. Just thinking about some of the stuff in Heavy Rain is enough to get me riled up. I don't usually care too much about games anymore (I've learned where to look and not to look for my personal interests) but David Cage gets under my skin, badly. And as impressive as some of the graphics in that video are, those people in it... still goddamn creepy.

Honestly, it will come. I'm guessing Ubi Soft is currently figuring out how to go ahead with the marketing strategy and all kinds of other stuff with the game. I'm really eager to see more of the game as well, don't get me wrong. But I'm sure there's a lot of boring ol' company work behind the scenes that needs to be figured out. Marketing, figuring out a release date which makes sense for Ubi Soft, etc. But yeah, I certainly hope we will see something fairly soon.

It's not silly at all. I'm all for constructive criticism, and like I said, I think more depth is needed in the videos. But I am not talking about the people who want to discuss, I'm talking about the large amount of people who get fired up, who get angry, who take this as an attack on their own gender. They certainly exist (again, the time around the kickstarter certainly proved that) and reacted even more strongly than one might usually expect even on the Internet. And *that* mentality is... well, pretty scary and disturbing if you ask me. EDIT: Like someone mentioned before, these videos are not an all-out attack on something similar to what Jack Thompson did. If it was, I could at least understand where the anger is coming from.

I thought the first video was OK, I certainly do hope that following videos gets more in-depth. And if I were in her position, I'd most certainly also disallow comments and the like. Not even taking into account the various rape and violence comments around the kickstarter time, but just the way guys tend to "bro up" whenever there's a woman involved. On the Internet, a woman can announce herself in a chatroom/forum/whatever the case, and you can sometimes literally *feel* the creepy shift in some people. I certainly wouldn't want to be a target of that. I know what it means to be trolled, and that there are avenues on the Internet that have their own "code" of how they speak. But in a channel as open as youtube is, no way. Furthermore, it's interesting to me that there are so many who take a video like this so... defensively. Noone is denying that there are tropes against men, against wolves (those innocent wolves who always gets slaughtered in RPGs), against... *anything*. The video is not an attack on men. Yes, there are millions of other subjects that she could've chosen to tackle. But she chose to tackle this one. If you want to make a video about tropes vs males, then knock yourself out. But perhaps... Just perhaps, there is a reason why tropes vs women needs to be highlighted more? Perhaps the history of females being subdued still has an impact nowadays? Perhaps there are reason why threats of rape against a woman on the internet, even if trolling, tends to bang a little louder than the usual internet stupidity? Equality between genders has come a long way but it has a looooooooooooooong way to go still. Will this series of videos make it all better? I don't know. As has been evidenced, I'm sure there are people who will simply get enflamed by it. I certainly hope there will be more depth in upcoming videos anyways. But I do think it's an important discussion that *needs* to be brought up again and again, especially in a medium that is as young and immature still as videogames are.

That's one reason why I actually really liked Morrigans' character in DA1. I loved that, even though you can romance her, you can never sway her from her ultimate goal with your magic main character hero lovin' abilities. She does acknowledge that she has feelings for you, but she remains independent and true to her own goals. I thought that was pretty refreshing. You still "guide her" in a way I suppose but that's true for most companions, male or female.

Good news today, with the Dead State combat demo. Also, a new Civ V expansion is due out this summer. Here's an interview: http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2013/03/15/civilization-v-brave-new-world-preview/#more-145899 Some concepts in there sound really intriguing. Can't wait to get my hands on it, hope it's as good as Gods and Kings.

I'm definitely not a rabid fan of the Witcher myself, I find it to be a pretty flawed game. But the more interesting parts of the game come after the first Act. Still, I think the one thing that the Witcher does better than most RPGs, or just most games in general, is atmosphere. There is something about the setting, the music, the graphics, the presentation that really drew me in in the first game. So many things that annoyed the hell out of me in that game, yet somehow... I still ended up kinda liking it in some way. Pretty polarizing game for me. DA2 is the game that is popular to slam on (rightfully so, maybe especially because of what it represents, I'm not fond of the game myself), it's just an easy target for all the angry internet people. Many people just view it as the work of Satan without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Again, internet.

Been playing Civ V for a long while. One thing I enjoy about Civ V in particular is that, given the leaders' various strengths and bonuses, you can kinda "roleplay" them. I normally don't play very warlike, but I enjoy choosing Random leader and just going with what I get. Also started up yet another playthrough of New Vegas. Funny thing happened fairly early on. Had done the Goodsprings stuff and figured I'd head up to Sloan for a bit. When in the middle of Sloan, I suddenly noticed people around me picking up their guns, and knowing what the wildlife around that area is like... Well, I ran as fast as I could back towards the Goodsprings direction. As I ran like a mad man, I looked back and saw what I believe (it was in the distance) the Alpha Male Deathclaw wrecking the poor folks there. Love it when things like that just happens.

Yeeeah, I don't really see how anyone could not see the difference in writing between Fallout 3 and NV either... Don't get me wrong, I think NV is rather uneven at times as well, but I don't see how anyone could not see great writing in characters like Mr House, Chief Hanlon, Veronica, Joshua Graham, the Dead Money cast (all fantastic if you ask me), Caesar (even when obviously disagreeing with his ideas), Arcade, the first Recon unit etc etc. And that's not even going into the world building side of it all, how things are thought out, how they have a history, how they connect with each other, just the... *conflicts* and problems of the entire situation of NV. It's great stuff actually. And one can take it even further and discuss the choices you can make as well, which are generally lacking in Fallout 3, while you can mess with a *lot* of things in NV. There are many variables to screw around with. How you can interact with a lot of these characters and situations. Again, I think NV is uneven at times but overall it's an immense writing effort, even if it is a different approach than something like say Torment or KOTOR2 which are more about the story itself.

New song of mine that I just put up

I like the sample stuff of Morgan better here than the WL2 stuff that's been showcased so far. The bit that starts around 2:13 is particularly nice, with the piano chords. Very good stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvlhrUoybYc Incredibly sad song... Made all the more amazing as this was a one-take improv from Tori when she first recorded it. Pure emotion.

I'm pretty tempted to get the new Sim City but the horror stories I keep reading about the serverside saving of cities, and just the general crappiness of how the "always online" thing seem to be working out for a lot of people is really putting a damper on it. Bah.

I drink Absinthe fairly regularly. If you get the real stuff (you can read up on it) and mix it up with some sugar and water the traditional way then it can be a really tasty drink with a very unique flavor. I think it'd be a waste to mix it up in drinks personally, at least the good brands. It can be really tasty if you ask me. I'm currently seeing a girl who takes care of a horse. Been following her along to the stable for a while now which is... pretty different than what I usually do in my life, and I must say pretty damn refreshing as well. Really enjoyed it today, with sunny weather with a hint of spring in the air. We ended up snuggling on a bunch of hay bales, and actually just lay there for like an hour. Such a nice change from the city, even if I don't live in a particularly large one.