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Harry Easter

Which RPG-story would you like to rewrite?

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Near the end of MotB, main character should have the possibility to use spirit-eater power to force Kelemvor unto the Prime Material Plane where you kill his avatar (a mere fighter 30/cleric 25/mage 28) with the rest of your ~level 30 party.

Edited by HoonDing

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

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Since part 2 is almost here, I wrote some ideas on

 

 

Pillars of Eternity 1

 

I wouldn't change much, because I found the first and third act very strong. Act 1 introduced us to the Dyrwood and the mentality of it's people and the bigger themes of the story, while act 3 had with the best quests and gave the narrative a very good conclusion and a good glimpse how different Eora really can be.

 

The second act was the weakest thought, but only three of the two bigger quests and those I would rewrite. 

 

Changes as follows:

 

Put more flashbacks into the game: at least one for every quest we ended. It worked in the Asylum and after the process and gave our backstory and Thaos real depth. A bit more interaction between our old self and the hight priest would've been fine. Besides, I enjoyed talking with the old madman.

 

Okay, now to the two main-quest:

 

Dyrford: I would just combine the Skaen Subplot with the actual interactings with the temple. In this case the Leader of the Skaencultists would've been an Agent of the Leaden Key who unites upset Dyrwoodians to kill as much Natives and Animancers as possible, so the soulsucking machine gets more food faster and the gap between Glanfathans and Dyrwoodians becomes even bigger than it is now. Throw in a little talk with Skaen himself and the player would have got hints, that the gods aren't as unimpeachable as the players may have thought and the god of rebells in the service of servants of the goddess of order would also have been a big hint that the masters can also be the slaves.

 

Heritage Hill: This one is tricky, because nothing really happens in the end, we really don't know more about the spires than before. But it could start with a murder and the belief that a Fampyr was behind it. The player investigates and finds out, that the suspect was a businessman that traded in glanfanthan artefacts and put a lot of his money into founding animancy and peace treaties with the natives. He was also the servant of a fampyr, who controlled him behind the curtain. The Fampyr was once themselve a member of the Leaden Key, but had to flee, when they couldn't overthrow Thaos. The murder was orchestrated by a high official of Defiance Bay, who wants to discredit the dead and all he stood for. This quest could bring some complexity into the story, working with an shadowy creature who IS a real threat to mortals, but also show how the Leaden Key is undermining the gouvernment of the Palinate. After the awesome animancy of Thaos and the cult-activity of Dyrford, this could be a fun murder investigation with a lot oppurtunities for roleplay. 

Edited by Harry Easter
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Okay, now some thoughts on

 

Dragon Age: Inquisition

 

This game didn't need a very complicated mainquest, since most of it is considered to spend on buildung your little Empire. Most of my ideas would have changed the beginning a bit and Corypheus plans and his followers

 

1) Give the Inquisitor a real backstory: In this case we are the newest pupil of the Divine, who was raised to be a leading figure to either keep the Fereldans in check, who got more ****y after finding the Ashes of Andraste (human Origin) or convert mages back (mage Origin) or bring heathens (Dwarves, Qunari, Elves)into the church. It would have give us a clearer connection to her and also provide us some Origins, since we are not an Orlesian. In the beginning of the game she would send us on our first missions so the population could get a good look at us and we can meet the other party members. It would be a slicker entrance and we had some time to get a feel for the world. Then Corypheus blows up the meeting between Mages and Templars ...

 

2) Corypheus, his plans and how he blew everything up: Corypheus used the Red Lyrium Statue of Meredith as kind of a false prophet, channelling Souls into the Red Lyrium she was made off (the souls used her as their mouthpiece). And after he was sure that his enemies were in one place he blew it up through magic. This is also the reason, why the portal to the Fade appeared. After killing the Leaders of Church, Templars and rebell Mages, Corypheus steals the Ashes of Andraste and calls it a day.

 

His plan? Being a deeply religious person Corypheus wants to make ammends and give the people the world they deserve, by summoning the ghost of Andraste (that's why he needed her Ashes), imprison her in one big Elder Dragon (maybe one of the Archdemons) and feeding it with Red Lyrium, pure magic and Souls, creating an anchor in this world. Itshall became an item of worship the desperate Orlesians can pray to, so he can collect their prayers and the resulting magic for the biggest Blood Ritual ever. A Ritual which will kill thousands of people, but reshape the face of reality, since the Fade makes everything possible. Corypheus knows that he will die too, but it is a small price to give everyone the paradies they deserve. He believes in the ritual, since it seemed to worked when the elves used it the first time ...

 

3) Corypheus followers: Templars, Mages, Grey Wardens who don't want to die and Dark Spawn, enhanced with Red Lyrium and possessed by Demons. He also controls them through Red Lyrium, That's it, what more do you need?

 

And the Architect hates him for using the other Spawns, so he has a reason to reappear and give some exposition about him to the player.

Edited by Harry Easter
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Since part 2 is almost here, I wrote some ideas on

 

 

Pillars of Eternity 1

 

I wouldn't change much, because I found the first and third act very strong. Act 1 introduced us to the Dyrwood and the mentality of it's people and the bigger themes of the story, while act 3 had with the best quests and gave the narrative a very good conclusion and a good glimpse how different Eora really can be.

 

The second act was the weakest thought, but only three of the two bigger quests and those I would rewrite. Well them and 

 

Put more flashbacks into the game: at least one for every quest we ended. It worked in the Asylum and after the process and gave our backstory and Thaos real depth. A bit more interaction between our old self and the hight priest would've been fine. Besides, I enjoyed talking with the old madman.

 

Okay, now to the two main-quest:

 

Dyrford: I would just combine the Skaen Subplot with the actual interactings with the temple. In this case, the Leader of the Skaencultists would've been an Agent of the Leaden Key, who unites upset Dyrwoodians, to kill as much Natives and Animancers as possible, so the soulsucking machine gets more food faster and the gap between Glanfathans and Dyrwoodians becomes even bigger than it is now. Throw in a little talk with Skaen himself and the player would have got hints, that the gods aren't as unimpeachable as the players may have thought and the gods of rebells in the service of servants of the goddess of order would also have been a big hint, that the masters can also be the slaves.

 

Heritage Hill: This one is tricky, because nothing really happens and in the end, we really don't know more about the spires than before. But it could start with a murder and the belief, that Fampyr was behind it. The player investigates and finds out, that the suspect was a businessman that traded in glanfanthan artefacts and put a lot of his money into founding animancy and peace treaties with the natives. He was also the servant of a fampyr, who controlled him behind the curtain. The Fampyr was once themselve a member of the Leaden Key, but had to flee, when they couldn't overthrow Thaos.  The murder was orchestrated by a high official of Defiance Bay, who wants to discredit the dead and all he stood for. This quest could bring some complexity into the story, working with an shadowy creature who IS a real threat to mortals, but also show how the Leaden Key is undermining the gouvernment of the Palinate. After the awesome animancy of Thaos and the cult-activity of Dyrford, this could be a fun murder investigation with a lot oppurtunities for roleplay. 

 

I am pretty sure that at a point in time they had some awesome ideas about various different plots and subplots for the game. I can quite literally see how they were cutting and cutting from the story and exposition in order to make it as brief as possible. I suspect that the team was doing so in order to make it safer for more people to play, so to speak. I am not against those ideas. In fact, I like them a lot. But I think they were just doing thing with a lot of brevity in mind. 

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I am pretty sure that at a point in time they had some awesome ideas about various different plots and subplots for the game. I can quite literally see how they were cutting and cutting from the story and exposition in order to make it as brief as possible. I suspect that the team was doing so in order to make it safer for more people to play, so to speak. I am not against those ideas. In fact, I like them a lot. But I think they were just doing thing with a lot of brevity in mind. 

 

 

 

 

I know what you mean. Most gamewriting seems to be about sliming down a story, so it becomes playable. And like I said, the story of Pillars 1 was good and that's why I only tried to tweak minor details in act 2 ... well and two more flashbacks would have been nice :D. 

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Been playing Mass Effect 2 and like many have said before me, there's just aloy that needs to be fixed. It's definitely the better of the 4 games but I could rewrite a few things to make the story make more sense...

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Just what do you think you're doing?! You dare to come between me and my prey? Is it a habit of yours to scurry about, getting in the way and causing bother?

 

What are you still bothering me for? I'm a Knight. I'm not interested in your childish games. I need my rest.

 

Begone! Lest I draw my nail...

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Hmm, I thought a bit about Fallout 3 yesterday and what SonicMage117 wrote about the Bethesdagames last year. To be honest, in hindsight I think that we could conclude the series perfectly with Fallout 2, New Vegas adding a bit more stuff to get a more nuanced epilogue (or what they planned in Van Buren). That's one of the reason why I considered Fallout 3 more of an Spin-Off, that was fun, but didn't destroy the previous games much since it concentrated on it's own region.

Only two things really annoyed me, was the return of the Enclave as a strong faction and the more open nostalgia to american history (which wasn't really a thing in the first two games).

 

But I gave it some thoughts and came up with a few ideas to explain the big presence of the Enclave and how to implement the theme of an America, that never was.

 

 

Fallout 3

 

Your playercharacter is a patriot: Better yet, he was born in Vault 50, the most patriotic of all the vaults, whose inhabitants were fed even the most absurde propaganda the higher ups could think of ("There's a reason, the rich are rich. They brought applepie to the ignorant working class and all was well!"), so they would be loyal workers, who do the dirty work in the rebuilding process. One day the Vault opens and Soldiers of the Enclave are at the doorstep. They need recruits for their fight against mutants and anarchistic-communists and your vault was chosen! Your character is part of the first wave of recruits, but your Vetibird gets shot down and you awake in the middle of the wastes and now you have to find your way in an America, that isn't what the propagandavids promised you since you were born.

 

I think we could even let the whole childhood-part stay, since it would still be a good method to show what the Vault (and the Enclave) believed to be the real american experience.

 

The Enclave isn't really the Enclave: They are just a bunch of Raiders, that got their hands on Power Armour and Blasterrifles, after Supercomputer Eden recruited them for his purposes. After the destruction of the HQ, Eden got activated and spread his propaganda wherever he could. The biggest gang in Washington, the Eagles, were the first to answer and under the guidance of the Supercomputer they created their version of the new gouvernment and really believe to be the good guys. Too bad, that President Eden still wants to kill them off with the other mutants, since they aren't pure humans  in it's eyes. Edens longterm plans are to open all the Vaults in the Washington Area and repleace it's "mutant" followers with Vaultdwellers and finding Vault 5, a storage facility, where thousands of fertilized eggs of humans and animals are stored.

 

The new Enclave would naturally consist of racist pricks, since those guys never change, no matter who wears the armour.

 

 

President Eden believes every word he says: ... even the stuff about apple pie. It makes sense for me, that an A.I. that is filled with Data about an false Utopia, would consider everything beneath the standards of the old world. That's why he isn't only a moustache twirling badguy, but the last surviving "real" American in Fallout, a classicist and racist, who dreams of rebuilding the world the same way it was before. That this isn't possible (because of all the radiation and stuff) could turn him crazy, so he may try to activate old satelites in the orbits and bomb the world for good away.

 

 

The Brotherhood of Steel members in Washington were banished from the main-chapter: After the destruction of the Enclave, one group felt that it was up to the Brotherhood to unite the Wasteland, but they were banished, so the flew with Veti-Birds from Navorro to the capital Wasteland. Their plan is to get the technology of the Enclave and create basically the same state as them, but without killing mutants ... well, at least not the human looking ones. 

 

If the player plays it smart, he can change the course of the Brotherhood, since in contrast to the Enclave, enough member critisize the old ways and how stagnant the Brotherhood has become in the last 200 years.

 

 

The Enclave created their own Supermutants: Or to be more precised, one of the Vault-experiments finally came to fruition. Vault 96 was filled with soldiers and their families, to breed the perfect soldiers for establishing order in the Wasteland. The soldiers trained their whole life, it was mandatory to spend eggs and sperms so the reserves were secure and the food was full of experimental drugs and steroids. Over the centuries the inhabitants of Vault became faster, stronger, smarter, BIGGER and BALD. So bald and BIG. After a long wait the Vault finally opened and they were ready to fight the good fight. Too bad, that they have forgotten their old goals and history and now consider fighting the greatest thing in live. They kill everyone, they don't consider to be good slaves (or breeding material) and a Supersoldier in a power armour is an unstoppable force and even one of their naked recruits is still a dangerous enemy for everyone, who isn't a trained soldier. And who is, in this time and age ...

Edited by Harry Easter

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Okay, this is a short one:

 

Divinity 2: The Dragon Knight - Saga

 

This games lives more from it's crazy content than it's story (and is one of my all-time favorites). The plot is okay, I think, but there is one think, that plagued this game (and later The Enhanced Edition of Original Sin 1): Damian, the big bad, appears, taunts you a few times and then runs away. He is also a living god and there is no explanation, why he doesn't just kill us (except one time, were "he" used us, but that was more eardropping, than planning). So how are you gonna fix this?

 

 

1) Cut his scenes out, except the first one, where he lets the mainchar live, because the irony (a dragonslayer becoming a dragon) amuses him. He works better as a background character.

 

2) Use his "dumb appearances" to strengthen the twist in the ending. 

 

You have a voice in your head. Turns out it is Damians girlfriend, with whom he is soulbounded. Him coming near you, could be interpreted that he looks for her or tries to be near her, through you. Considering, that mentally he's still a lovestruck teenager in a grown man's body, it would make sense. 

 

The change would be, that after her resurrection he doesn't say "But how?" (which is more open), but "so you were always there!" instead. With only one sentence, you could recontextualize everything!

 

 

 

Otherwise I would have just changed the backstory of the PC: Instead of a Dragonslayer, they are a recruit of the last Dragon Knight, to help them defeating Damian. Then everything goes to hell and the story continues as before, but with a less complicated backstory.

Edited by Harry Easter

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KOTOR.

 

Would have given Charname a vocabulary larger than 50 words and make her capable to form sentences longer than four words. Or at least after that spoiledery spoiler thing when she supposedly recovers from the brain damage? Also, out with all the exclamation marks KOTOR's Charname seems to be so fond of. Especially multiple ones. She's brain damaged, not clinically insane. 

 

Also, would make Malak a proper villain instead of Saturday morning cartoon one. 

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KOTOR.

 

[...]

 

Also, would make Malak a proper villain instead of Saturday morning cartoon one. 

 

The funny thing is, the more you read about history and people, the more less cartoonish Malak appears. Stupid, yes, but not unrealistic anymore. There were enough men that thought burning and killing everything until the other side (ha!) gives up, is a legit tactic. Doesn't make Malaks portrait more interesting, just a more depressing.

Edited by Harry Easter

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KOTOR.

 

[...]

 

Also, would make Malak a proper villain instead of Saturday morning cartoon one. 

 

The funny thing is, the more you read about history and people, the more less cartoonish Malak appears. Stupid, yes, but not unrealistic anymore. There were enough men that thought burning and killing everything until the other side (ha!) gives up, is a legit tactic. Doesn't make Malaks portrait more interesting, just a more depressing.

 

 

Oh, glass-the-planet thing isn't  cartoonish, but his delivery of, well, everything is. Things like "Mwahahahaha! Lady, imma gonna zap you until you turn eeeeevil! Muahahahahaha!!!" He even literally goes "Mwahahahahaha!!!!" at least once. 

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KOTOR.

 

[...]

 

Also, would make Malak a proper villain instead of Saturday morning cartoon one. 

 

The funny thing is, the more you read about history and people, the more less cartoonish Malak appears. Stupid, yes, but not unrealistic anymore. There were enough men that thought burning and killing everything until the other side (ha!) gives up, is a legit tactic. Doesn't make Malaks portrait more interesting, just a more depressing.

 

 

Oh, glass-the-planet thing isn't  cartoonish, but his delivery of, well, everything is. Things like "Mwahahahaha! Lady, imma gonna zap you until you turn eeeeevil! Muahahahahaha!!!" He even literally goes "Mwahahahahaha!!!!" at least once. 

 

 

Fair point, I had those parts also in mind. Which is strange, because mostly to his underlings he acts more professional. Guess he can only unwind when there are some Jedis around. 'cause they know how it is, maaan, a Sith has to have a evil laugh sometimes.

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My problem with Inquisition was that the story and the game play really didn't mesh well. You were touted as being an all important messiah/cool dude, but the game primarily had you completing missions that never felt like it. The developers seemed more concerned with telling important you are and how your choices matter but fall flat in delivering anything that makes you feel that way.

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