Allan the family wrecker

[alanschu]

Soooooooooooooo,

 

As some of you may have known, I was messing around with YouTube the other day, and uploaded some COD 4 videos of me playing for fun. I also posted this on my Facebook for any of my friends there to see.

 

 

Turns out because there was still some sort of processing being done, Facebook didn't properly import the picture/description from YouTube. As a result, it was basically a blind link with me saying "Hey this is cool."

 

Afterwards I realized that maybe people wouldn't enjoy that, so I added a comment stating it was the last level from Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. One cousin commented on it, joking about how it was just like real life for him. Then...his sister posted......

 

She said "Kind of violent...this is entertainment?"

 

 

At first I was like Then I figured I'd be nice, and assume she was just surprised that something violent could be entertaining (she's a medical doctor btw...recently graduated). So said yeah, and then made references to other media that is violent. I pointed out Macbeth (one of my favourite pieces of literature), as well as Platoon as an excellent movie that has a more realistic and gritty depiction of war. I then apologized for the link being a blind link, and mentioned I'd make sure to clarify things in the future. She replied with:

 

 

"I don't care for violence in any form. I rarely watch the news anymore cause that's all it ever features. I remember the first time I shot a gopher. I almost vomited. Yet felt like I had to act matcho in front of my friends and so kept up the charade and continued to shoot more gophers. In less than an hour I went from disgusted to elated over the ensuing violence I was creating. Laughing at the guts spilling from their bodies and getting a kick out of the live gophers dragging their dead cousins so they could feed on them. Three weeks later I was travelling with [my aunt - not her mom] and her exboyfriend when he ran over a gopher on the side of the road. We were all laughing. [A mutual cousin], who was little at the time, started to cry. At that moment I realised the tragedy of the loss of her innocence. Inside, I cried too... and maybe I still cry. Violence is never right -not on video, in books or in real life. Maybe that's just me."

 

 

At this point, coupled with my initial impressions of her first email, I felt offended and judged. I removed the link altogether, and sent a private message to her stating that I felt judged and insulted by her commentary. It's hard for me to just accept that apparently she does not "care for violence in any form" while I work on creating a violent video game. Or actively play, and SHARE, my experiences playing violent video games.

 

 

I started off my message by apologizing to her for having a blind link to something she might not appreciate, and then commented that the comments section of my facebook link is not the place to criticize violence in the media, while bringing up her anecdotal evidence for its desensitizing effects. Given her rather specific and absolute expressions such as "I don't care for violence in any form" or "Violence is never right -not on video, in books or in real life" I had a hard time interpreting her comments as anything but passing judgment and making inferences of the negative effects it has on people. And I let her know that. Privately because I'm not an ass. But given how much she loved The Two Towers (saw it 9 times in the theaters), I started to simply believe she was a hypocrite. And I ****ing hate hypocrites.

 

 

So she has since replied to me (I haven't read it), but my Mom phoned me shortly afterward (I let her and my Dad know the situation, to let them know I'd be avoiding family get togethers), mentioning that my cousin was posting on her facebook status updates stuff like "The wedding list keeps on getting smaller and smaller. And so does my family as I thought one was my friend." as well as "I guess a debate is a hate comment" or some other nonsense (I didn't go onto facebook to verify at the time since i knew I'd be pissed). Though when I did log back into Facebook, I laughed when I realized that both her and her mom have removed me from their Facebook friend's list. I told my Mom to NOT stoop to this pettiness, and while she has my back, I let her know that there are two sides to each story.

 

 

So while I was angry at the time of reading her message, and I let her know, the aftermath only makes me feel vindicated. Airing dirty laundry as facebook status updates, and out and out removing me as a Facebook friend, WHILE crying to her Mom (my cousin is 34 years old) about it.....

 

When I was younger I used to think that this cousin was a spoiled princess that never did anything wrong, with people always picking on her. When we both grew up a bit (she's 7 years older than me), we got along better, and felt she was less whiny. Though given her reaction, I think perhaps those traits still exist in some capacity.

 

 

Anyways, judge me! At least I'm giving you permission

[Tigranes]

While I can only work off your side of the story, your cousin's comments demonstrate tendencies to hypocrisy, public dramatisation and antagonisation that combine to give me the impression that you're fine and you might do best not to give too much time to the melodrama.

 

I'm sorry if you take that the wrong way (it is, after all, your cousin) - and of course this is a silly thing for a family relationship to be fractured over, as well. I just have little patience for people who focus more on a public performance of their identity than its everyday practice.

[alanschu]

I have decided to NOT let this become a drama situation for me. And quite frankly your assessment is spot on IMO, so no offense taken. The thing that got me was the hypocrisy and dramatization.

 

She's pissed at me, fine whatever. Her aunt (whom I never cared for) is obviously going to take her side, so whatever.

 

 

I told my parents that I'd abstain from family get togethers simply to keep things simple (I'll still chill with them. THey're my parents and I like them haha). I told my Mom to not stoop to their level and to remember that there's two sides of the story.

 

I might consider letting my other cousins (whom I really like) know that she and I had a spat, and not say much more aside from saying that there's two sides to a story and I have nothing against them.

 

 

 

Like I said, I find the aftermath the most surprising thing, and it makes me feel rather vindicated about the whole ordeal.

Edited October 22, 2009 by alanschu

[mkreku]

I don't understand why you even care? The drama is in her head. I would have shrugged and then not thought about it for the rest of my life.

 

Of course, I always end up in fist fights on our family reunions so I might not be the best person to take advice from.

[213374U]

 

That's all I have to say about the matter, really.

[alanschu]

Lately I have taken a decidedly more proactive approach to speaking up when people piss me off, because I was notoriously bad for just taking it in the past.

 

 

I find it funny though because of zee facebook dramas. Friend cancelations and everything. That's serious ****! I'm actually kinda looking forward to the holidays now

 

 

EDIT: Numbers I knew you wouldn't let me down

Edited October 22, 2009 by alanschu

[kirottu]

I agree that she went overboard with drama, but I think you might have been debating too much in the internets and it carried itself to real world.

 

Edit: What Mkreku said. You should have just shrugged it off and not to start dabate over it.

Edited October 22, 2009 by kirottu

[Humodour]

Why do you care dude? I don't really think she was judging you all that much anyway. Take a chill pill.

 

Edit: I read further and she seems to be emotionally weak and prone to depression in my expert opinion. You should be there for her.

 

Frankly I'm generally a pacifist myself but I don't see how most video games are a problem since no-one is being harmed. I'm against some media such as certain types of horror/thriller or games like GTA but I'm resigned to them existing in a free society.

Edited October 22, 2009 by Krezack

[alanschu]

Fair enough.

 

Was curious what the feedback would be like.

 

 

I care because it's human studies and self-critique.

I could have just shrugged it off, but it struck me the wrong way and I felt compelled to say something. I also didn't particularly care for listening to someone tell me how awful violent media is as a comment to violent media that I created and posted.

Edited October 22, 2009 by alanschu

[Humodour]

Fair enough.

 

Was curious what the feedback would be like.

 

 

I care because it's human studies and self-critique.

 

I could have just shrugged it off, but it struck me the wrong way and I felt compelled to say something.

 

I can understand why her tirade on Facebook shook you up, I didn't read that bit at first.

[alanschu]

Though I'd love to be a fly on the wall.

 

My aunt (the mom) once complained to the staff at a dinner theater because she felt someone's laugh was annoying. The staff member was just dumbfounded because it's not like the person could really control how they laughed.

[Gorgon]

Uhh... make believe violence is over here and real violence is over there, they have practically nothing in common. I must have killed millions of little polygon constructs, but I never killed any gophers. Well, unless you count the pet that got out because I left the cage open and then drowned itself in a paint bucket.

[alanschu]

I actually shared my gopher anecdote with her.

 

I shot one once with a pellet gun, and felt sick to my stomach and cried. I didn't shoot another one again, and I actually actively try to avoid them as best I can (and all animals) while driving.

 

 

Of course, my brother saw that I was shaken up, took the gun and put the gopher out of his misery and let me be on my way without teasing me or anything like that. I certainly didn't feel a need to be macho about it, and quite frankly appreciate it now that he didn't say anything and just let me do my thing. I felt like commenting that her anecdote about the gopher situation and her desire to be macho is probably just as much an indictment of social peer pressure and our desire to feel accepted rather than the desensitization of violence.

Edited October 22, 2009 by alanschu

[Oner]

Some of my relatives are like that cousin of yours. I ignore them, knowing the darkness is too thick in their head.

[213374U]

Gophers are vermin. There's a damn good reason to shoot them. Where's the "violence" in that? It's not like she became desensitised to violence by doing drive-bys on homeless folk. There's also nothing "macho" about it. But then I think bullfighting is pretty retarded too, so what do I know.

[Gorgon]

What because they dig holes in the lawn. I think people are bandying that word around a little too often. A plague rat or those mice whose droppings can create lethal dust, ****roaches, etc. those are vermin. Squirrels, pigeons, foxes, they are animals that have successfully integrated with human society.

[Gorgon]

By god I am really tired of being treated like a 5 year old by the language filter. I think it's time it went away.

[213374U]

By god I am really tired of being treated like a 5 year old by the language filter. I think it's time it went away.

Sorry man, but the filter knows full well what it's doing: cοckroach. Edited October 22, 2009 by 213374U

[Gorgon]

I don't get it, that's what I wrote.

[Humodour]

Gophers are vermin. There's a damn good reason to shoot them. Where's the "violence" in that?

 

An animal being vermin does not mean violence against it stops being violence. It might justify a humane culling or something, but it doesn't suddenly change the meaning of violence.

 

The filter sure knows what it's doing. Let me just test my gun. I'll have to **** it first.

 

Edit: Damn, it looks like I can't test my gun without using non-standard characters. Help, help, I'm being repressed!

Edited October 22, 2009 by Krezack

[Killian Kalthorne]

I can understand her view on the matter, but as a whole the human race is violent, virulent, and can be a tad sadistic at times. I think expressing such destructive behavior through literature, film, and video games is more healthy than going out and ripping out the guts of gophers. Of course there are individuals who have elevated themselves from the need for base carnage in any form, at it seems that your female cousin is one of those rare individuals. Its nothing bad against her, or yourself. It is just how, as individuals become, things are.

[Humodour]

I can understand her view on the matter, but as a whole the human race is violent, virulent, and can be a tad sadistic at times. I think expressing such destructive behavior through literature, film, and video games is more healthy than going out and ripping out the guts of gophers. Of course there are individuals who have elevated themselves from the need for base carnage in any form, at it seems that your female cousin is one of those rare individuals. Its nothing bad against her, or yourself. It is just how, as individuals become, things are.

 

That was... surprisingly insightful.

 

Though I'd certainly argue that the human race is, on the whole, far more constructive and progressive than it is violent and sadistic. Progress will win out in time.

[Gorgon]

****

[Killian Kalthorne]

True, it is a sort of social darwinism working there. The more destructive civilizations will eventually consume themselves while stronger, more level minded and peaceful societies will slowly continue to rise. I do suspect that, if the human race survives in the next century or three, Alanschu's female cousin will be the norm while those like us, who like violent video games, movies, and literature, will not.

[213374U]

Gophers are vermin. There's a damn good reason to shoot them. Where's the "violence" in that?

 

An animal being vermin does not mean violence against it stops being violence. It might justify a humane culling or something, but it doesn't suddenly change the meaning of violence.

Yeah, I guess then that putting your hand in a snake hole and getting bitten and dying as a result is "violence" as well. The only difference is that a snake does what it does by reflex, while a human shooting gophers that chew on the crops operates teleologically.

 

I'm not really interested in being dragged into yet another internet semantics debate, anyway. So, yeah. Eating meat is MURDER.