Romantic drivel

[Shryke]

confounded females

 

me not talking to you for 4 days does not mean i'm upset with you, it just means i've been ridiculously busy with other stuff going on in my life

[Walsingham]

I dunno, I've always been of the school that you never rub another man's rhubarb, and if you try to you're forthright about it.

 

I'm totally in agreement, otherwise you can't muster the legions o' fury when someone tries to jump your claims in turn. If you are up front it also makes it quite hard for the guy to freak out/ means he has to freak out when you tell him - which means you can pick your timing.

[Gfted1]

I haven't mentioned anything to her about her husband since we "broke up," which is almost 3 months ago now...

 

Wait, broke up? So this progressed to a physical relationship?

 

You have an interesting comment though, one that I conflicted myself with very much the first week or two. You say that if I really cared about her, I would leave her alone and respect her decisions. However, if I really cared about someone, would I just abandon them if I believed they were suffering? I still don't know the "right" answer to this question.

 

"Should" I turn away when she is feeling bad and wants to talk with me? Maybe. Who's to say who should or should not do what though? If I was just a friend with her, I would never turn away. Things ARE complicated by our relationship though, however as a person it is virtually impossible for me to simply ignore her if I feel she is suffering. This type of attitude is not restricted to her, though it is more accentuated for her, because of how I feel.

 

As you already realize, thats a self-fulfilling prophecy. You're her emotional crutch, and she's the object of your affections. Just be careful with how much of yourself you invest in this. I totally understand what you're going through. Emotions run hot, shes being "smothered", you want to save her....I get it, I really do, but that doesnt make it right.

[Hurlshort]

I haven't mentioned anything to her about her husband since we "broke up," which is almost 3 months ago now...

 

Wait, broke up? So this progressed to a physical relationship?

 

 

I think the quotes mean that no, not a physical relationship. Probably the overly intimate friendship is what he is referring to.

[thepixiesrock]

And I mean, I know it sounds really pathetic, cause I mean, this is obviously how I'm going to feel because I'm stupid, but I think she still has feelings for me but won't admit it because of the distance is too hard for her, when she can get someone closer. I think she needs it to be a physical thing as much as an emotional thing. And I don't mean just sex when I say physical, I mean like, seeing the person every day. So I mean, I know you said it was a rebound thing, and that's probably completely true. Maybe she didn't really care about me. But I can't believe that. She acted like she cared a lot, and still does act like she cares, she just doesn't want to face it. You're probably right, but I really can't let myself believe that in any way. I'm willing to acknowledge it, but I won't tell myself that it's really true, because I don't know how I'd feel if I believed it.

 

 

Doesn't sound pathetic, sounds like you're just free from cynicism besides how you feel your feelings might be viewed. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

I think I deffinetely need to just like, forget about her completely. I think that's something I decided to realize just now. I might change my mind later, but after what happened just now, basically, I think I need to get away. No matter how happy I am while talking to her, at the end of the day I'm just depressed about the situation.

[Laozi]

I dunno, I've always been of the school that you never rub another man's rhubarb, and if you try to you're forthright about it.

 

I'm totally in agreement, otherwise you can't muster the legions o' fury when someone tries to jump your claims in turn. If you are up front it also makes it quite hard for the guy to freak out/ means he has to freak out when you tell him - which means you can pick your timing.

 

 

Exactly, and I can see where she wouldn't be comfortable with Alanschu's interaction with her husband because it makes him a two face. The whole I love you thing, but I'm gonna hang out with your husband and act like nothing has happened would really make me doubt anyone who could be so disingenuous

[Walsingham]

Well, I'd steer clear. It's one of life's golden rules for avoiding trouble. Keep your promises, and try not to make anyone else break theirs. I've been in open relationships and tehy're fun, but only if everyone agrees to it.

[SteveThaiBinh]

Thread pruned. That really wasn't going anywhere nice or healthy.

[alanschu]

Meh, my own personal drama is on hold anyways. My roommate's dad just died

[mkreku]

Why is it that whenever the discussion gets interesting enough for me to get involved, it gets pruned?!

[Walsingham]

I've been pondering love and romance more, and a short vignette occurred to me. I remembered having an ex turn up at my house after a long time separated, and i guess we'd obviously been missing each other, but the thing which swung it was the instant I held her in my arms - and even though we were already in my home - I felt like I'd come home after a long journey. Remembering that made me realise the awesome insidious power love can have.

 

 

EDIT: which may also prove I'm a chimpanzee.

[Checkpoint]

I can kind of identify with that, because that's exactly what I'm longing for. Only the story of my ex's life indicates some sort of incapability on her part to feel that kind of deeper romantic affection. I'd love to be proven wrong, but until that happens I need to forget about this whole powerful and deep emotion that irks me.

 

Also, trying to figure someone else out is the most brain-racking thing you can do. I'm doing it constantly, and not being able to actually go to the source as it were doesn't exactly help my situation. But I have to keep rationalising in order to keep my angst in check. It is a bit tricky, but I think I'm getting the hang of it.

[Walsingham]

Going back to the notion that this is all chemicals I just remembered how I used to get round the rushing hormones to consider a given lady more objectively. essentially, go out and get hammered (a plan with no drawbacks). The next morning, while you are hungover, eat twelve very poor quality pork sausages, and drink two pints of water. THEN ask yourself what makes the girl tick.

[Tigranes]

Healthy, cheap and delicious sausages?

[Walsingham]

No. They absolutely must be the worst you can find. Supermarket savers brand sawdust, soya, and pigfat variety. I think it's not just the grease, and the mass, but the preservative ****tail that they use.

[Checkpoint]

I'm a vegetarian.

[thepixiesrock]

So if it's all chemical all we need to do is kidnap a few chemical engineers and have them wip something up that will make the girls fall in love with us.

[Krookie]

That just might be crazy enough to work!

 

To the lab!

[Walsingham]

I'm a vegetarian.

 

 

Then you're ****ed, mate.

[Guest The Architect]

I'll be damned if I'm going to let any chemical engineers steal the formula of my chemical perfection!

Edited September 8, 2008 by The Architect

[Checkpoint]

Oh well, she now officially has a new boyfriend. I guess with her track record nothing is new under the sun, but life still sucks for me right now. I just can't believe I fell for that kind of girl.

[alanschu]

Try laughing at him. It might help. Make it an evil one. "Muahahahahahahaha" type stuff.

[Checkpoint]

I feel kinda sorry for him. Sure, they might end up married and live happily ever after. It just doesn't seem so likely.

 

What eats me up is that we have gone through so much together; I have a billion great memories from living in Barcelona with her so she's in virtually all of those memories, she has made me feel as though I was the one true love in her life and she wanted to build a family with me, she said when we broke up that there is so much that can exist only between the two of us and that it hurts so damn much that we have to give that up, she said that she wanted it to work out with between us so damn bad. And the week after our break-up she meets a friend at a party and she's all "well, this is a cute guy, let's see if he's the one!" And now they're happily in love, and this is how things have gone down with all of her boyfriends.

 

It actually disgusts me a bit. Another thing that disgusts me is that her friends must have known that this would happen the whole time and I had no idea. They must have been like "oh well, who is she with now?" (and yes, that was approximately a couple of weeks after her previous break-up as well, surprise surprise) and wondered how long that would last, and then when we broke up they must have gone "oh well, that was expected I guess" and then they learn that she has someone new and the whole process starts over again. I know, because I have a female friend who is exactly like my ex, and I know what I'm thinking every time she breaks up with her boyfriend and has someone new within weeks.

 

It hurts to feel so diminished, replaceable and fooled.

Edited September 8, 2008 by Checkpoint

[Gfted1]

 

Come on over CP, Ill take you out and get you liquored up.

[Checkpoint]

I'd do it if I didn't live on the other side of the world. Anyway, I'll try to hang out with someone tonight. I don't think sitting alone at home is all too helpful right now.