Best Fundie Quotes of All Time

[Xard]

The 100 Best quotes from Fundie Christians ever

 

 

Level of win and awesomeness unmatched

Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.

 

----------------------

 

[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]

 

This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

 

if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

 

Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

 

god tests every one of u

 

-----------------

 

And the icing on the cake:

 

If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.

 

 

Plus tragedy of human life:

 

"Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

 

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

 

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

 

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son"

 

 

[Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]

 

 

Thanks ****ing much for crushing my faith in humanity for first time this week. And it's only monday!

Edited January 14, 2008 by Xard

[Pidesco]

I'm sure it's possible to find equivalently stupid quotes from nonreligious or moderately religious people.

[Xard]

I'm sure it's possible to find equivalently stupid quotes from nonreligious or moderately religious people.

 

Aye, we're ****ed up. No wonder I don't like humans as a whole. Except that I do. ( Schitzophrenic much? )

 

 

Most atheists found from internets are horrible jerks to be honest.

 

But some of these things goes beyond legendary status.

 

( I guess it's penultimate proof for my malicious yet geeky tendencies is my will to force these guys watch NGE or better yet, Life of Brian. The horror, the horror! )

Edited January 14, 2008 by Xard

[Pidesco]

Some are quite humorous.

 

The gravity one is awesomely funny, and also:

 

"True Christians should only read English."

 

 

ROFLCOPTER

[thepixiesrock]

For some reason, I don't see this being a really good idea.

[Xard]

Some are quite humorous.

 

The gravity one is awesomely funny, and also:

 

"True Christians should only read English."

 

 

ROFLCOPTER

 

Yeah, especially horrifying when someone DARED to use his/her own hebrew Bible

[thepixiesrock]

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.

ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.

ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

 

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

 

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!

ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!

ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.

ATHIEST DAD: Why not?

ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.

ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?

ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

 

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

 

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!

ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

 

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

 

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

 

THE END

 

That one hits close to home fore me.

[Pidesco]

This topic is a bit on the edge, but I think it might work if it is taken towards such questions:

 

"Are people in general, dumb? And if so, is humanity doomed because of it?"

[thepixiesrock]

Yeah, most of these have to be fake.

[Kaftan Barlast]

And we dont make fun of christians because they're christian, but because theyre weird :D

[astr0creep]

I really hope most of those are fakes otherwise this world is in deep doo doo.

[samm]

It's wrong to make fun of christians (or any other group, relgious, nation based or whatever), because they're supposedly weird - some are, the ones who said the quoted stuff are seriously stupid. It's ok to be christian. It's ok to be atheist. It's ok to find funny things funny. And some of the quotes definitely are funny in their utter blindness.

 

otherwise this world is in deep doo doo.

Why "otherwise"? It is wether these are fakes or not. Edited January 14, 2008 by samm

[astr0creep]

otherwise this world is in deep doo doo.

Why "otherwise"? It is wether these are fakes or not.

 

Indeed.

[Xard]

Yeah, most of these have to be fake.

 

I doubt it. After "otherkin" and such I find it pretty hard not to believe in stupidity of men. Quick lurks at forums where most of those come from shows similar overall...umm, I dunno, dumb****ery mood?

Edited January 14, 2008 by Xard

[Hurlshort]

I believe 'em. The term fundamental is tacked onto these people for a reason. Nothing is good when taken to the extreme, whether it's religion or atheism or whatever.

[Gfted1]

I dunno, "Betty's" responces in the suicide thread sure came off as canned and simple for someone whos child killed themselves. Seemed like a troll to me.

[Tigranes]

I wouldn't be surprised if most were true.

 

Anyway, I'm Christian and this is hilarious.

[Sand]

I don't think it is alright to be a part of any religion that advocates discrimination and ignorance, but that is just me. Belief in a religion is a personal choice and should remain personal, but then we get people who try to bring it into politics and place arbitrary limits on scientific progress and civil liberties. However, I do agree with Hurlshot that extremism in any form leads to nothing good.

[thepixiesrock]

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least

 

I'm pretty sure that's from The Colbert Report.

 

Also, stop trying to derail the thread Hades. We all know how you feel about religion.

Edited January 14, 2008 by thepixiesrock

[Sand]

Derail the thread? I thought we are discussing the idiocy of fundies here.

[Guest The Architect]

I guess it's the laws of probability. There's something like 6 billion people on the planet, so chances are you're going to get some pathetically stupid and ****ed up Fundamentalist Christians, Atheists, and all sorts. Whether you're a Christian, an Atheist or what not has nothing to do with whether you're an **** or not. My advice is just to ignore and stay away from people who quote crap like in that link if you can.

[Tigranes]

I don't think it is alright to be a part of any religion that advocates discrimination and ignorance

 

Yes, I agree.

 

Anyway, I could link to that TV show where they stuck the words NORTH KOREA to Australia and showed it to random Texans and they were all like, "I didn't realise they were so big", but you know, we already know every demographic has its share of stupid people.

[Sand]

I can't disagree there, Tigger. Where were they in Texas anyway? Bioware-Austin?

 

HA!

[Shryke]

it's always exasperating to try and talk to people like this on a rational level

 

always their automatic response to anything that makes them possibly want to question their beliefs is just that "it must be a test from God" or "Satan trying to tempt them"

 

don't get me wrong, i don't mind christians. i just find it so puzzling when i come across people like this

 

just the fact that someone can let themselves be so consumed by such belief

[thepixiesrock]

I don't really think it's all that puzzling, just as we are sure that we are right about them being wrong, their brain just works differently, and they were raised differently, and all sorts of factors probably come into play, but I can easily believe and understand why people would think this way. They look at us the same way we look at them, if not worse.