Jump to content

Zero Punctuation - Yahtzee reviews


Pop

Recommended Posts

So it's another Wednesday, and for those of you who like awesome things that don't suck, there's yet another Yahtzee Croshaw game review. You ladies and gents might remember him from his inspiring Bioshock and Orange Box reviews. Well, he's kept on going, and this thread will be dedicated to ongoing discussion of the profound truths derived from these videos. If somebody doesn't beat me to it, I'll post links every week.

 

This week the brit expat in Aussieland took a crack at the newest Zelda, Phantom Hourglass.

 

Catch up, if you haven't already:

Medal of Honor:Airborne

Super Paper Mario (my favorite)

The Orange Box (posted in the thread dedicated to the game)

Tabula Rasa

Halo 3

Peggle

Manhunt

Tomb Raider Anniversary

Some of these are pre-Bioshock review, some aren't. He also has some stuff up on his personal site (Fable and The Darkness reviews) that aren't on Zero Punctuation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tabula Rasa is beyond funny. So is the Heavenly Sword/ResEvil 4 tidbit.

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to him wednesdays are no more: "Is it still only wednesday? *groan* ".

 

Really funny and right on the money on most points.

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like the MOH Ariborne review, the Tomb Raider article was hilarious as well.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He makes playing Yahtzee fun. :(

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He should do NWN2 and MotB. :D

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He should do NWN2 and MotB. :D

 

Screw that. He should do Fallout, Torment and perhaps Bloodlines. I'd love to see the poopstorm that would create here and at the Codex.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That would be hilarious. I would bring popcorn.

Murphy's Law of Computer Gaming: The listed minimum specifications written on the box by the publisher are not the minimum specifications of the game set by the developer.

 

@\NightandtheShape/@ - "Because you're a bizzare strange deranged human?"

Walsingham- "Sand - always rushing around, stirring up apathy."

Joseph Bulock - "Another headache, courtesy of Sand"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He should do NWN2 and MotB. :D

 

Screw that. He should do Fallout, Torment and perhaps Bloodlines. I'd love to see the poopstorm that would create here and at the Codex.

He's already hit the zenith of fanboy bitchiness, the Zelda fans. The Codex will be a cakewalk in comparison. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he got death threats.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, but he attacked a new Zelda game. Things would be much more interesting if he did a review of, say, Ocarina Of Time.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think he'd bash that one, seeing as it's the big zelda game and the scenario repetitiveness wasn't really present at the time it was made.

 

You can't blame the original game for having it's story copy and pasted into the sequels.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OoT was like the 5th Zelda game or something.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm pretty sure it didn't make the series' veterans feel like they were doing the same thing as usual.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OoT was like the 5th Zelda game or something.

 

 

Yes but if you take into consideration that the first zelda game didn't have anything but monsters, the second zelda game was RPG-like, the third one is the one that defined the basic Zelda games formula (the Link to the Past) and the forth which is Link's awakening is different, makes OoT the second game that follows the formula and the first 3d zelda game.

 

Anyway, I think Yatzees' reviews are great. I even liked the PH one (even though I am a Zelda fanboy - and I don't agree with what he said to an extend).

I think therefore I am?

Could be!

Or is it really someone else

Who only thinks he's me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OoT was like the 5th Zelda game or something.

 

 

Yes but if you take into consideration that the first zelda game didn't have anything but monsters, the second zelda game was RPG-like, the third one is the one that defined the basic Zelda games formula (the Link to the Past) and the forth which is Link's awakening is different, makes OoT the second game that follows the formula and the first 3d zelda game.

 

Anyway, I think Yatzees' reviews are great. I even liked the PH one (even though I am a Zelda fanboy - and I don't agree with what he said to an extend).

 

I think OoT was great. That's not the point. I'm as much a Zelda fan as anyone, it's just that I'd like to see the rabid fanboys squirm when someone like Yatzee criticizes their holy, godlike games.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think OoT was great. That's not the point. I'm as much a Zelda fan as anyone, it's just that I'd like to see the rabid fanboys squirm when someone like Yatzee criticizes their holy, godlike games.

 

My bad then, I though you meant that by being the fifth, the game was copied four times therefore boring and repetitive... :sweat:

Edited by Istima Loke

I think therefore I am?

Could be!

Or is it really someone else

Who only thinks he's me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far storyline and basic gameplay goes, that's actually a valid criticism of Ocarina of Time. The game is still great fun of course.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yep.

"My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian tourist
I am Dan Quayle of the Romans.
I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.
Heja Sverige!!
Everyone should cuffawkle more.
The wrench is your friend. :bat:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...