Jump to content

What would you do if you woke up as a woman?


Recommended Posts

*shudders*

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

Link to post
Share on other sites
Well the actual question was "extremely attractive woman" not just woman but that wouldnt fit in the topic space and I didnt want to just write "hot chick".

 

 

So in your case it would be more like "What would I do if I wasnt such a huge nerd?" :D

 

 

And I would like to add that I am extremely disapointed in my fellow boardmembers for not comming up with anything remotely interesting and/or witty.

Now, now, no need to be hostile.

 

As for wit, it's not really a witty subject, gender re-assignment; so it is a little difficult to make light. (Oh, I'm sure Billy Connoly or Chris Rock would pull it off, but then again none of us here get paid shedloads of money to appear on stage being funny ...)

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

ingsoc.gif

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'd fly to Sweden and offer my virginty to Kaftan. :thumbsup:

 

 

Wouldn't we all Baley?

 

 

Hrm, what would I do as a woman...

 

Assuming I now think like a woman, I would ghostwrite a best selling book on dating from the POV of a man and woman, it would sell bajillions of copies, and all the money would be transferred to my account in the Caiman Islands.

 

Aside from that my, actions would probably involve a few gallons of cold water and a full body mirror JUST BECAUSE!

Link to post
Share on other sites

To Baley:

 

That brings disturbing images. Awww... :thumbsup:

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to post
Share on other sites
Now, now, no need to be hostile.

 

As for wit, it's not really a witty subject, gender re-assignment

 

 

Im not being hostile.

 

 

RRAAAAAARGH!!

 

 

 

:D and please do note that it is "an extremely attractive woman" not just a simple gender switch. was it not for this little spice, my theoretical supermodel/superheroine career would have been for naught.

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

Link to post
Share on other sites

Females in England hate very attractive women. They are pillored and ostracized (except by men, who tend to drool a lot and look at their chests ...)

OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS

ingsoc.gif

OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT

Link to post
Share on other sites

Because England has only one really attractive woman. Or so my english pal says.

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to post
Share on other sites
What would you do if you woke up as a woman?
Same thing I do every day, Pinky... try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

 

Seriously... I love how it's always assumed that everybody on this board is male. :thumbsup:

 

But... but.. but! Women, on the intarweb!? UNPOSSIBLE, JIM!!

"McDonald's taste damn good. I'd rtahe reat their wonderful food then the poisonous junk you server in your house that's for sure.

 

What's funny is I'm not fat. In fact, I'm skinny. Though I am as healthy as cna be. Outside of being very ugly, and the common cold once in the blue moon I simply don't get sick."

 

- Volourn, Slayer of Yrkoon!

 

"I want a Lightsaber named Mr. Zappy" -- Darque

"I'm going to call mine Darque. Then I can turn Darque on anytime I want." -- GhostofAnakin

Link to post
Share on other sites
Because England has only one really attractive woman. Or so my english pal says.

thats not true, I was in England in 94 and from what I remember I saw at least six attractive women. But I think two of them were French... :thumbsup:

bnwdancer9ma7pk.gif

Jaguars4ever is still alive.  No word of a lie.

Link to post
Share on other sites

And one was a swedish tourist and two of the remaining were partly sheep aka welsh. The last one was probably just lost. Poor bugger.

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to post
Share on other sites

Snowball's change in hell. Everybody knows that Californian women aren't real.

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah. You're better off just being oblivious.

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

Link to post
Share on other sites

OK

 

Kaftan if you want witty and funny first of all set the bar before whining!!

 

Meta the statement should be:

 

Females in England hate very attractive women. They are pillored and ostracized

 

Everyone else, there are some buff birds in Eng-ger-land but alas many english women suffer from lack of exposure to sun and over exposure to cake.

Link to post
Share on other sites

What about Kate Beckinsale? She's British, but she's hot as hell.

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

--John Stewart Mill--

 

"Victory was for those willing to fight and die. Intellectuals could theorize until they sucked their thumbs right off their hands, but in the real world, power still flowed from the barrel of a gun.....you could send in your bleeding-heart do-gooders, you could hold hands and pray and sing hootenanny songs and invoke the great gods CNN and BBC, but the only way to finally open the roads to the big-eyed babies was to show up with more guns."

--Black Hawk Down--

 

MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...iendid=44500195

Link to post
Share on other sites
Like i said, some...

 

Tis a shame

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

--John Stewart Mill--

 

"Victory was for those willing to fight and die. Intellectuals could theorize until they sucked their thumbs right off their hands, but in the real world, power still flowed from the barrel of a gun.....you could send in your bleeding-heart do-gooders, you could hold hands and pray and sing hootenanny songs and invoke the great gods CNN and BBC, but the only way to finally open the roads to the big-eyed babies was to show up with more guns."

--Black Hawk Down--

 

MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...iendid=44500195

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...

 

I think I need more information...

 

Because if I woke up as Jessica Alba, I would probably find Jessica Biel and totally make out with her, but if I woke up as Jessica Biel, I'd probably find Jessica Alba and make out with her...

 

See, each difference affects the outcome...

Link to post
Share on other sites

If I woke up as a woman, I would become a lesbian. That's about the only idea of what I would do at this point. :D But do not fret, I may have another soon. I just need to ponder on the subject a little more. :rolleyes:

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

--John Stewart Mill--

 

"Victory was for those willing to fight and die. Intellectuals could theorize until they sucked their thumbs right off their hands, but in the real world, power still flowed from the barrel of a gun.....you could send in your bleeding-heart do-gooders, you could hold hands and pray and sing hootenanny songs and invoke the great gods CNN and BBC, but the only way to finally open the roads to the big-eyed babies was to show up with more guns."

--Black Hawk Down--

 

MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...iendid=44500195

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...