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Things you wish a KOTOR2 character would say......


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Revan: What the hell was I thinking leaving Bastila behind?!

 

 

 

Handmaiden: Now where did I put my tampon?

 

 

 

Kreia: Everyone trusts me!

 

 

 

 

Bao-Dur: Why does everyone say I look like Diesel? :wub:

 

 

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Palpatine: Anakin, I want to tell you something. I'm secertly in love with you.

 

Vader: WTF? *Chops him up with his saber*

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Revan: What the hell was I thinking leaving Bastila behind?!

 

 

 

Handmaiden: Now where did I put my tampon?

 

 

 

Kreia: Everyone trusts me!

 

 

 

 

Bao-Dur: Why does everyone say I look like Diesel?  :(

 

 

---------------

 

Palpatine: Anakin, I want to tell you something. I'm secertly in love with you.

 

Vader: WTF? *Chops him up with his saber*

those are all great esspecially the Hanmaiden-tampon one :wub:

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Atton: Han Solo who? :(

 

 

Disciple: I hope Shrek doesn't find me in this game. :wub:

 

 

Visas: I'm not a virgin.

 

 

Mandalore: I love the republic, in fact i'm going to be a senator someday!

 

 

--------------

 

Sidious: I...I....I....can't hold it on any longer.

 

Anakin: What are you doing under those clothes?

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Thank you jodo kast. I just make these up as I go along lol.

 

Exile: *Takes a deep breath inside the Ebon Hawk. Then pukes* BAO-DUR! INSTALL THAT TOILET NOW!!!

 

Bao-Dur: Why do people keep telling me that I look like Darth Maul?

 

Female Exile: Hey Sion ever heard of a shower?

 

 

 

---------

Nihilus: *Incompehesable sounds*

 

Mace Windu: ENGLISH MOTHERF****ER DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

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And gives her a concussion, and now She pisses her pants and forgets who she is every 5 minutes :)  (w00t)

 

That or she becomes a vegetable.

 

Exile: What do we do with her now?

Atton: Unplug her, that's what she'd want. :rolleyes:

 

Thus the senate is drown in months of debate. :thumbsup:

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And gives her a concussion, and now She pisses her pants and forgets who she is every 5 minutes :lol:  (w00t)

 

That or she becomes a vegetable.

 

Exile: What do we do with her now?

Atton: Unplug her, that's what she'd want. ;)

 

Thus the senate is drown in months of debate. :o

 

:lol:

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Fanfics:

KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read

Force Sight: Read

Other:

Gaming Blog: Read

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Kreia: I feel a disturbance in the Force...

Atton: Shut up, you always feel it.

 

Handmaiden: Exile is mine! We were sparring in underwear!

Visas: No, he is mine! He prefers those who can't see him naked...

Mira: Hey, you two, Exile is mine! I am the expert in picking males, remember?

Kreia: [Force Persuade] You are all mistaken. You will give Exile to me.

Suddenly, they all hear the voice of Exile, who is meditating in the next room.

Exile: ...As my feet walk through the ashes of Malachor, I shall not love, for love is addiction, and addiction is a weakness... The wisdom of the Jedi Code shall guide me, and I shall follow these absolute truths - there is no emotion, there is peace...

*Handmaiden, Visas and Mira start crying, influence drops to 0*

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Kreia: I feel a disturbance in the Force...

Atton: Shut up, you always feel it.

 

Handmaiden: Exile is mine! We were sparring in underwear!

Visas: No, he is mine! He prefers those who can't see him naked...

Mira: Hey, you two, Exile is mine! I am the expert in picking males, remember?

Kreia: [Force Persuade] You are all mistaken. You will give Exile to me.

Suddenly, they all hear the voice of Exile, who is meditating in the next room.

Exile: ...As my feet walk through the ashes of Malachor, I shall not love, for love is addiction, and addiction is a weakness... The wisdom of the Jedi Code shall guide me, and I shall follow these absolute truths - there is no emotion, there is peace...

*Handmaiden, Visas and Mira start crying, influence drops to 0*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*takes deep breath* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

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Disiple:You've left me an opening....

Various enemy: Huh? oh SWEET JEDI MOTHER OF SITH!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WHY MUST YOU DO THIS!? WHY???????????

later

Disple: whistles

Varios enemy: I feel Violated......... Can sombody hug me other than Him........

 

I know i posted somthing similar in another thread, this just seems the be the right place for it.

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

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Handmaiden: He's not yours he said I was beautiful!

 

Visas: He said I look sexy!

 

Mira: How can you look sexy in THAT?

 

Visa: Shut up Mira, always with the attitude.

 

Mira: ME? You have serious issues as well, being submissive and all, just doesn't cut it.

 

Handmaiden: We all know he loves me and let's just leave it at that.

 

Mira: Oh no that doesn't end that way sister.

 

*Exile boards the ebon hawk after a brief talk with the shopkeeper and finds that the three woman are on top each other stragging each other*

 

Exile: Hey.....ladies.

 

Ladies: Hi handsome!

 

Atton: It's you're problem not mine.

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Disiple:You've left me an opening....

Various enemy: Huh? oh SWEET JEDI MOTHER OF SITH!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WHY MUST YOU DO THIS!? WHY???????????

later

Disple: whistles

Varios enemy: I feel Violated......... Can sombody hug me other than Him........

 

I know i posted somthing similar in another thread, this just seems the be the right place for it.

 

Why, to test if it suddenly had become funny?

^Asinus asinorum in saecula saeculorum

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Handmaiden: He's not yours he said I was beautiful!

 

Visas: He said I look sexy!

 

Mira: How can you look sexy in THAT?

 

Visa: Shut up Mira, always with the attitude.

 

Mira: ME? You have serious issues as well, being submissive and all, just doesn't cut it.

 

Handmaiden: We all know he loves me and let's just leave it at that.

 

Mira: Oh no that doesn't end that way sister.

 

*Exile boards the ebon hawk after a brief talk with the shopkeeper and finds that the three woman are on top each other stragging each other*

 

Exile: Hey.....ladies.

 

Ladies: Hi handsome!

 

Atton: It's you're problem not mine.

I love it! :lol:

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Exile: "Kreia, I need an answer. Are you Handmaiden's Mum?"

 

Kreia: "You know the answer. You've always known."

 

Exile: "Huh??"

 

Kreia: "Mommies protect their little ones."

 

Exile: "Huh??"

 

Kreia: "Who did Mommy protect on Peragus?"

 

Exile: "No!"

 

Kreia: "Who did Mommy save from the mean old Jedi Council?"

 

Exile: "Noooooooooo!"

 

Kreia: "Give Mommy some sugar."

 

 

*****************************

*****************************

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Exile: Where's Disciple? We've gotta get going.

Atton: He said he was going to a cantina.

Exile: [laughs] Him? A cantina?!

Atton: No. He said it was a gay bar.

 

 

Disciple: The Exile said that I am nice.

Atton: Well she told me that I was manly.

Disciple: You're nothing but a scoundrel nerf-herder Han Solo wannabe!

Atton: ...well at least I've gotten my teeth fixed.

Disciple: Mommy TOLD me to wear the headgear! [cries]

Atton: And I've got that messed-up guy personality that all chicks dig.

Disciple: Well I am Prince Charming!

Atton: No WAY. Besides, I've got the ride. All you've got is a bed in the medbay.

Disciple: I can get a ship.

Atton: And I've got an awesome jacket.

Disciple: I can get a jacket.

Atton: Just don't take Carth Onasi's. That orange thing is just ugly.

Disciple: I'll order one in rainbows!!

Atton: ... you sure you're in love with the Exile, or did the writers just make a slip-up?

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Fanfics:

KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read

Force Sight: Read

Other:

Gaming Blog: Read

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Exile: "Kreia, I need an answer. Are you Handmaiden's Mum?"

 

Kreia: "You know the answer. You've always known."

 

Exile: "Huh??"

 

Kreia: "Mommies protect their little ones."

 

Exile: "Huh??"

 

Kreia: "Who did Mommy protect on Peragus?"

 

Exile: "No!"

 

Kreia: "Who did Mommy save from the mean old Jedi Council?"

 

Exile: "Noooooooooo!"

 

Kreia: "Give Mommy some sugar."

 

 

*****************************

*****************************

 

 

;) Fun...

 

An alternative:

 

Exile: "Kreia, are you Handmaiden's mother?"

 

Kreia: "I could tell you, but you would be weakened from it - such answers you must discover yourself. And you'll make the Handmaiden weaker too, if you discover the answer for her..."

 

Exile: "Okay, that's it - I've had it with all the cryptic mumbo-mumbo! Now give me a simple yes or no already - are you her mother or not? I WANT THE TRUTH!!"

 

Kreia: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"

 

--

 

Okay, that was a cheap shot - my bad :"> :-" :D

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Exile is looking at himself in a mirror, shaving, brushing teeth, then adjusting his tie...

Atton: ...Anyway, why Visas? She's blind, she wears that silly robe so you can't even see her legs, and she refused to dance for Vogga...

Exile: Shh! Here she comes, a goddess indescribable in her divine beauty, so perfect that I'm afraid to even turn my eyes on her...

[Visas disappears behind a corner]

Exile: Did she look at me?

Atton: No.

Exile: Noooooooooo!!!

Atton: She's blind, I told you.

 

Disciple [to male Exile]: For the last time, I won't marry you...

[Audience cracks up]

Disciple: [stands up and looks into the camera] What? You! Just because I'm such a pretty-looking blonde young man with an innocent face...

[Audience cracks up once again]

Disciple: ...doesn't mean I'm a gay!

[Audience cannot stop laughing, Atton stops looking through the keyhole and rolls on the floor laughing]

Disciple: And just because I have these big healthy white teeth doesn't mean I'm funny, too! You're all just jealous!

[Kreia stops meditating and starts dying of laughter]

Disciple: You are no better than Handmaiden and Mira! I can show you a recording of what they do when they lock in that storage room...

[Everyone stops laughing and pretends to be deaf]

Disciple [to Exile]: So, for the last time, I will not marry you! And since it was you who dragged me to the Ebon Hawk and proposed it, I suggest you to ask Bao-Dur instead. At least he's horny.

 

(I know these ones are lame, but I felt compelled to answer to those Visas-lovers and Disciple-haters.)

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