Monte Carlo

Oh, and that monster is clearly a Fiendish Skorpion Sharkfish which features in the new 3.5E splatbook, Poorly Illustrated Beasts of the Realms. Cheers MC

LOL! Have you figured out some kewl crate animations yet? Or Aribeth boobies?

Phosphor speaketh much wisdom. Indeed, the fell power of the pyramid seems a logical conduit for dark forces. A d10, OTOH, seems faintly benign. In any case, the cover art on the Keep on the Borderlands sent me finally on a downward spiral. Destination: Hell. Conclusive proof of the evil inherent in fantasy role-playing games.

Being a Judeo-Pagan-Atheist I have a great deal to comment upon this matter. 1. Christianity is very old. OK, you have V1.0 and V1.1 but really Catholicism urgently needs a dogma upgrade. It's views of contraception and homosexuality are just two of the many things that are making it increasingly irrelevant to modern people's lives. If I were shivering in my mud hut in Calabria in 1198, utterly convinced of Original Sin then maybe I'd Believe. But I ain't and I don't. Sorry. 2. My wife went to a convent school. She was from a Church of England family, but like many young English women sent for private education she attended a convent. They provide excellent value for money. Like many young English women educated by nuns, she left with a rather sceptical view of religion in general (not confined to Catholicism). I personally find any religion that espouses celibacy as dogma to be inhuman. I also think it explains some of the unfortunate scandals that hit the Catholic church in the US. Let me make it clear: the offence was bad enough. It was the subsequent cover up that made the matter utterly unforgivable. Straight to hell, in fact. 3. Saying that, I actually rather enjoy the company of clergymen. They are usually self-effacing, charming and liberal (three things I manifestly am not). The Church of England has always been a quietly recognised haven for gay men, something which I find rather quaint. A gay friend suggests that it's the dressing up and being a martyr that appeals. 4. Being a lapsed Jew (well, my mother was Catholic so technically I remain Goyim but I went through all the hoop-la as a kid) I have to say that you really can't beat afternoon tea with a Rabbi. Maybe, living in London, we have pretty laid-back rabbis but the ones I've met crease me up. 5. The younger people I know (i.e. early twenties up) seem to me to be actually more spiritual (as opposed to religious) than I was at their age (I find my atheism quite depressing sometimes, to the point where I'd like to make the leap of faith to being an Agnostic but cannot). However, their spiritual needs are clearly not being met by the established religions. The only young people getting fired up about religion in the West are young Muslims. Problem is, that is also linking into to other tangential social problems (racism, unemployment, the international situation). An Islam ain't just a religion; it's a definitive program for political, spiritual, temporal and social life. You don't "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and render unto God what is God's" in Islam, because the definition simply doesn't exist. 6. Churches are my favourite buildings in the world. Little medieval English ones, sitting in a field in Sussex. Cheers MC

Actually, it was D&D that made me a Pagan Goat Killer. One minute I was a nice god-fearing Jewish boy, then five minutes after taking the shrink wrap off of my D&D basic set in 1978 it was POW! PAGAN GOAT KILLER! Damn your eyes, Gygax! DAMN YOUR EYES! Although I suspect it was the novelty of playing with a d4 for the first time that really did it. Cheers MC

We welcome converts from all denominations and faiths into my Pagan cult. It's fun. Well, it can get a bit chilly dancing naked around a menhir in January, but the heavy drinking and orgiastic rites make up for it. Cheers MC

Well, I sacrificed the goat (with a house brick, which was a tad noisy) and had a quick look-see at the beast's steaming entrails. The neighbours were a bit shocked, but I'm sure they'll get used to a 6'3" 175 lb pagan living next door. Good news! The shiny pancreas tells me that tenure is assured for Eldar in the department of his choice. Furthermore, the silky smooth liver revelas that his study will be shared with the flaxen-haired Nordic scholars Ingrid and Helga who are studying for their doctorates in Sapphic Studies on attachment from the University of Stockholm! Lastly, the goat's slippery but pounding heart was of superlative quality....what this tells me I will reveal later! Cheers MC

How dreadfully ignorant. Spoken arabic varies immensely, from North Africa to the Levant and from the Gulf to sub-Saharan Africa. The "modern standard" (which is what most Westerners learn) is alien-sounding to English speakers but it isn't "foul." Consider the word jameel. It means "beautiful" which, spoken and pronounced properly it is. Or aswad (black) or latif (charming). Even mundane items like manjoo (mango) or samak (fish) sound more interesting to my ear. Many English words come from arabic, my personal favourites being bantaloon (pantaloons, which became trousers). I think the reason why the language sounds harsh is because of the "ch" sounds of some letters words, and ghayn (which has no English equivalent). It sounds to me curiously Welsh, actually. As for arabic script, I defy anyone to describe it as foul. It is beautiful to my eyes and I enjoy writing the looping, curved script for no other reason than to enjoy looking at the result. Cheers MC

I'm just popping out into the garden, right now, to sacrifice a goat in Eldar's honour, as he perilously staggers into the fusty, corduroy-jacketed realms of academia. Cheers MC

I am a native Briton, but I speak a tiny smattering of French and have conversational Arabic. My written Arabic is better, though. Cheers MC

Ha ha ha. You have an irony deficit, methinks.

This is an obvious hoax by X-Files addicted geeks working for the Siberian Tourist Board. They want to lure hordes of gullible American tourists to the region. Upon arrival they will be sold genuine pieces of Alien Explosion Device for a thousand bucks a pop. In fact, as we speak, Russkis are spray-painting the old breech block mechanisms from T-55 tank turrets bright silver and burying them in the woods. Seriously. Cheers MC

I lived, for a short period of time, near Emerald Beach. It was (back then in 1992) quite a nice, laid back place. I'd walk up to La Jolla for a beer, past all the beautiful adobe houses with "INSTANT ARMED RESPONSE!!!" plaques in the gardens. Happy days. Cheers MC

I love this "provide a link" / "gimme a source" BS. Not that Moore ever bothers giving reliable sources when he can just make it all up. Google, you lazy b*stards Cheers MC

I think it's about time we actually considered the irony here: 1. After the Second World War, the old, cynical, pragmatic and Hobbesian Europeans wanted to summarily execute every Nazi implicated in war crimes, dismantle "Germany" as a nation and turn the entire place into an agrarian bread bowl for the rest of the world. They wanted to toughen up against the Soviets, mainly because most continental countries had sizeable communist parties that had been active in the various resistance groups. 2. The liberal, idealistic and (frankly) gullible Americans (1) Set up the Nuremburg trials, (2) Re-armed and re-built Germany and (3) Initially were royally fooled by Stalin (thanks, Ike). These things were all motivated by noble aspirations. The architects of the Nuremberg system were the forefathers of the UN and the Security Council. 3. Fast forward fifty years..... 4. The Europeans did, roughly, what the American foreign policy architects of the late 1940's wanted them to do. It stopped squabbling and going to war. It started to develop it's own central political identitiy in the EU. The nations of Europe became liberal, democratic and capitalist. It acted as a bulwark against the USSR. It traded lucratively with the rest of the world. NATO became the benchmark for international security cooperation. It was an achievement unparalleled in human history. 5. The the USSR folded. The raison d'etre for the whole thing started to unravel. And something else really funny happened....the two sides swapped attitudes. 6. After years of getting used to the US providing the bulk of the security umbrella against the "Soviet Threat" the Europeans began to enthusiastically reap the benefits of the late 80's "peace dividend." The Europeans began concentrating on the EU, Human Rights and all the jive that the Americans were so wildly into in 1945. OTOH, the Americans were becoming (as the world's only real superpower with all the responsibility and ball-ache that came with it) more.... European. Hawkish, cynical and cognisant of the fact that if you want peace you prepare for war (yadda yadda). 7. So this bizarrely symbiotic relationship led to the two sides swapping ideological positions. Now the Americans get rather pi$$y that the Eurpean project they conceived at Bretton Woods actually worked! DRAMA! 8. As a history professor I knew once remarked when asked about the consequences of the French Revolution in 1789, "it's too early to call." Ditto the fall of the Berlin Wall and the collapse of the Soviet Empire. All of these contractions, from Enron to Osama are directly or indirectly linked to the triumph of Liberal Democracy over socialism....it's all the contractions and growing pains of a major new chapter in world history. 9. So stop squabbling, and go read a frigging book or two. We have more in common than waht divides us, our enemies love to see us rip ourselves apart with petty nationalistic argument as it gives them succour and strength. You could be a good 'ol boy with a truck and a rifle rack or a smug Scandinavian travelling on a spotless train system taking your kids to their state-funded uber-nursery. The fact is, either one of you could be equally, dramatically and even fatally affected by the new way of things. 10. So grab a seat and buckle up. Cheers MC

The problem is, some people seem to project their distaste for the Bush administration onto Mr & Mrs Joe Average American. Which is, I'm sure you would agree, unfair. It is also intellectually lazy.

Intellectually lazy anti-Americanism is painfully fashionable in Europe at the moment, mainly with teenagers with little or no experience of travelling in North America. Ignore them. I rather like Americans. I've been visiting for fifteen years and my experiences have been, generally, very positive. Then again, I am English and most Americans seem well-desposed towards us. My only disappointment is the difficulties overseas travellers now have in visiting the US; the oafish attitude of security people tarnishes the image of the country in my humble. You don't have to be rude to be effective. People I know in the US travel industry are simply horrified by what's going on; money is being lost hand over fist and even I took my holiday this year in Europe for the first time in those fifteen years. Cheers MC

The UN index is based on pretty oblique data from a living point of view. Hey, Iceland is freakin' beautiful! However, I'd rather hammer a nail through my big toe than live there. No offence...it's just too pedestrian for me. Belgium is boring. The government is corrupt. They are obsessed with power through the EU because their own nation is so....insignificant. Again, I'm ahmmering a nail through my other big toe. But of course it's subjective. A Belgian might find Britain crowded and dirty and expensive and abrupt and aggressive.....many of the reasons why I like it. But I'm a Londoner. Conclusion? This survey is worth **** unless you are a UN flunky trying to bribe/ cajole/ blackmail dough from said nations to redistribute to third world warlords to spend on Russian army surplus. FWIW, I've only been to a few places where I seriously thought "I could live here." For a variety of reasons they were Boston and San Francisco, both in the US of course. Cheers MC

It takes more than a tasty breakfast snack to persuade me to move country, my friend.

Any top ten list that seriously expects me to think that Belgium is worth living in has to be highly dubious.

Hey, thanks for proving my "hi-jacked by libetarians" point. I'm sure life's just peachy up their in the survivalist compound, living on K-rations and scoping out Feds through the optics on your hunting rifle. Meanwhile, in the Real World some of us live in communities where we give a **** about what might or might not harm us. Go back and look at the original post. It's about people who want to help themselves. Do I think there is a point where intervention is necessary concerning someone elses behaviour and conduct? Damn right I do.

I'll try to find the link to an article in the UK's Daily Telegraph about porn addiction. Now, I'm not a bleeding heart liberal. I believe, for example, that the death penalty is entirely appropriate for those who indulge in sexual offences against children. I completely agree with EnderWiggin that the foundation of responsible society is the individual accepting responsibility for their actions. Etc. - But - Some of the men described in this article spend up to twelve hours a day in front of their computers surfing porn, and without too fine a point on it, whacking off. They have, by any objective standard, a bona fide psychological problem and need help. A tiny percentage of these men will go on to become fully fledged, violent, sexual offenders. This isn't revolutionary thinking. We can all agree that people should take control of their lives and actions but some people cannot. Now, if a guy wants to spend twelve hours a day in the manner I describe and doesn't harm anyone else then I, frankly, couldn't care less. I do acknowledge, however, that it is a problem. And by completely ignoring it we could be adding to the probability of someone eventually harming someone else. This debate invariably ends up being hi-jacked by feminists, free-speech fundies, libetarians, trendy "porn is art" cognoscenti and all sorts of other positions. My own take is simply pragmatic: help the guy spending twelve hours a day looking a hardcore filth stop it before he ends up harming your wife/ daughter/ sister whatever. Capiche? Cheers MC

Many thanks. This website is truly one of the all-time greats and goes into my special bookmarks of truly exceptional online experiences. Many hours of fun to be had here, with of course a serious warning about the danger inherent in discovering otherwise harmless looking infernal portals. I am considering submitting my own five favourites: 1. That really scary looking and dusty bar on Villier's Street, not far from Embankment tube station in London. I have seen a number of infernal entities scampering in and out of that doorway. Usually late at night after I've had a pint or twelve after work, admittedly. 2. Junctions 9-10 on the M25 motorway in southern England. All of these junctions are clearly hellish doorways, although the popular view that they are in fact purgatory is also often heard. 3. Southend in Essex. THE ENTIRE TOWN IS IN THRALL TO BEELZEBUB! Alight at Southend Victoria train station at tell me I'm wrong. Dare you. 4. The door of the mobile kebab shop under the Westway in Notting Hill. Trust me, it looks like a kebab van but it is in fact an infernal aperture that lands you straight into the Pantry of Satan! 5. RPGCodex. The web's very own PURTEEL TA HEEELLLLLL..... Cheers MC

Mark, we are simultaneously posting. The post wasn't aimed at you.

The fact of the matter is this: There will be a guy who is heavily into porn. After aperiod of time he goes to the extreme end of the spectrum to satisfy his needs. Even this bores him. So he starts exposing himself in parks to women. This, too, eventually bores him. He begins to attack women. This isn't a "conservative" pitch to justify censorship (I don't as a rule), it's a very common profile of a classic-or-garden sex offender as developed by police and profilers. It isn't the porn that made him do it. That's an argument that interestingly is adopted by both hard-line conservatives and illiberal liberals. However, it would be strange not to consider the role the porn played in the process. Had the guy realised earlier that he had a problem, and that his pretty wacko and non-stop need for such material was a symptom, could he not have sought help? Thus breaking the chain and averting a potential offender (and thereby preventing the creation of a victim)? Here in the UK we are having a debate about a certain type of porn after a murder that revolved around the offender's obsession with it (I will not mention the ouvre as it's pretty offensive). This type of material is, it is fair to say, not a matter of sexual preference or taste but instead indicative of psychological illness. So I say ban it. Yep, that's right, BAN IT. This is where "free speech" liberalism gets to the point where brains fall out. There cna be no licence without restraint. The point where we decide how to exercise that restraint is an important one for mature reflection, but it must be done nonetheless. Need we remind ourselves that the USA is a country that has the world's largest and most profitable sex industry (and good luck to them as compared to the Eastern European and Asian versions it appears well-regulated and less exploitative) yet literally wets itself with worry over a woman's nipple appearing on primetime TV. That's denial. Cheers MC