Mojo

When you start making polls about polls, then you know its time for you to go... Nothing wrong with polls, but definitely with the 'you' one. Not referring to you unless you make the same mistake of course. Imo. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Im glad you cleared that one up

No, seriously, this is a highly amusing little bit of satire. I've never seen a complaint about polls done in poll format before. You, sir, are definitely in the running for this year's Swift Award. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> When you start making polls about polls, then you know its time for them to go...

Ban em... Ban em all

So Sad..... Will be missed

38.There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. 39.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

NAME: Mathew AGE: 26 Marrital status: Soon to be married (5 months) Nationality: Australian (but grew up in the UK) Social status: Charming Scoundrel Occupation: Business Development Manager for a medium sized company Style of hair: Normaly shaved but currently shaggy Style of beard: 3 day stubble

Yes and it was a good reminder about posting pics

32.Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. 33.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 34.The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided 35.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 36.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 37.Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris does.

Chuck always looks good in jeans

CHUCK NORRIS 1 . If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. 2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it. 3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. 4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. 6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. 7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris. 8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. 9. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 10. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. 11. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "fking." 12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. 13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. 14. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris. 15. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease. 16. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila. 17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust. 18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection. 19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fk down. 20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. 21. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. 22. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. 23. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. 24. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill. 25. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 26. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with. 27. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. 28. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. 29. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's st. 30. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. 31. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

What's the story Morning Glory: Oasis

Build one yourself, exercise is good for ya'. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey Jodo... Aint it past your bedtime, and btw how old are you this week?

Against all odds.... Phil Collins :'(

I dont own a spear. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You could always make one... for Giant Scorpion fighting "

With a spear...

So what your saying is all Aliens must speak English?

Were you dropped on your head, repeatedly at that, as a child? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Whats not to like about them

Already looking into it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Me too

Gungans

And dont forget those from New Zealand

What ET game?

This could be the start of a pointless old news thread... We could have stories like "man disscovers fire"

Never a truer word spoken

Fixed

The first time was during a tour of Northern Ireland, I was on patrol in an armoured vehicle and I was on sentry duty(the armoured vehicles have whats like a sunroof, and one solider has to stand and keep lookout). So whilst we were driving around it was my turn to stand up and keep a lookout, normaly you spend about 30 mins up then come down, but I come down after 10, and the second I put my head under cover we heard gunfire and stoped but there was no shooters in sight, after calling in back up and doing the good stuff we headed back to camp and on inspection of our vehicle we could see the dent where the bullett hit on the roof and if I was still standing when that bullett hit it would have gone straight through my chest. The Second time, I was still in the Army and it was a few year later I had not long been promoted and it was my first live firing exercise with my new rank, so I had got the job of saftey which means I have to stand behind a "Newb" and make sure that they dont shoot anyone or that anyone runs into there arc of fire. So I was standing behind this particular newb, and it was his job to post a grenade it a trench, so off he trots to this trench but and when he get there he pulls the pin and then cacks his pants and drops the grenade, so I pick him up and throw him over the nearby blast wall, but as I was dinig this it went off blowing shrapnel into my shoulder and to this day I still have a piece there The thrid time is was a car crash after I left the army,I wont go into too much detail as I cant be bothered typing anymore.