One of the hardest things for me was when i my mother died the worst thing was that you could not even speak to her say good bye, or how feelt about her going to die. My mother is the strongest person i have ever known.
Before she got sick again i know that she considered sucide from the many letters and journals she have left behind. But when she got sick and knew that she had tops five years to live she made up her mind that life was important and giving enuf to live.
She never complained about her pain and frustrantion she must have feelt at not being able to live her life like she wanted but she was always kind and caring about others.
Before she died i always mocked the idea of an afterlife but when she was about to die and after she died i can understand peoples need for and afterlife.
If there is an afterlife and there is some sort of heaven and she is not there not there then no one deserves to go to heaven.