Baley

^ See, sometimes you have to give them a tender push or they grow complacent and fat and stop jiggling around for our enjoyment.

And yes, I realize that stopped being funny months ago. I blame God Pidesco.

Who, me? yes Couldn't be!

But: "," and "." = nowhere to be found! Not true! Woosh.

Who, me?

I like how a couple of our posters share both a tendency of being online at - or around - the same time and a complete ignorance of proper punctuation... wait!

Uh, I meant rain. R.A. The Rugged Man - Midnight Thud.

Striding through snow and heavy wind while listening to Bombs over Baghdad is one of the greatest things ever. I almost pulled a Spider-Man 3.

Big Pun - Punish Me; Chorus: Miss Jones Come back come back come back come back to meeeee, Punisher Punish me... ahhhhhhh III've been so bad, so bad Won't you come back? Considerably funnier - um, more ridiculous - if you've seen or, well, heard about that video of him pistol whipping his wife. Obligatory joke subject: sugar craze.

Big Pun - Caribbean Connection; ah, Big Pun, the first rapper to die from eating too much; see, this is what happens when you name yourself after a comic-book hero. You still kinda wish this befell Fat Joe, though... I make it rain!

On lesser occasions, though, I use the wallpaper Meta posted a few pages back. (Quick, somebody teach me the micro-font trick!) Like this:

Are you implying that one's inescapable destiny - i.e. being a niggah for life - is in any way similar to smoking marijuana? I, for one, am deeply offended.

I'm sorry, but the preferred nomenclature is "dago" with an "a" as in anglo or argie.

tut tut

No, but we here at the Obsidian boards encourage our fresher - younger? - members - like chris the jedi killer - to vent their creative impulses in special, endearing ways, however dismal their execution, without bickering, flaming, or grandstanding. We encourage these posters to be the best that they can be in a controlled, yet wholly immersive, milieu, only occasionally guided by our superb moderator team; that is to say: we offer them just the right length of rope... the rest depends on them and their own determination. Now, Tale, won't you once and for all abandon your wicked, clobber-the-newbie mentality to the gaping abyss that is the rest of the internet and join our peace loving, tranquility-scrounging community? Please?

don't be racist

I prod you with my massive wand of resurrection. ... What?

Antonioni died yesterday. So... has anyone seen Inland Empire or Ostrov (uh, The Island, I think)? Oh right, lately: The Lookout, Highlander: The Search for Vengeance (don't ask), and the last two season of BSG.

All this time, you've... you've been buying your time, waiting for a chance to sex Pixies without paying the price for your closet deviancy, haven't you? Did.. did anything else ma-matter to you? ... or was it all a lie?? 9 months!!! I'm.. I'm just speechless. You lecher! You wretch! You foul debris of human misery!

But seeing how you're not a Gazebos(!) you trip and end up DEAD DEAD DEAD. .... He readies himself, steadfast and brazen, wandering, mind wobbling, considering the possibilities, testing his own nature one last time before... Ready. The moment whitewashes all regret, all anguish. Spouting inanities and statistics, his brain grinds to a halt. It is useless. Only drowning himself further. His chosen path slithers away awkwardly, almost lumbering... he knows what must me done. There is no need to overanalyze; all that remains is a whiff as the world departs, frolicking away. And then: Baley busts a rhyme doing acid damage to your mind. MASSIVE CRITICALS!

Between taking care of his children AND Bumping Dr. Dre AND taking drugs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw8d2X8Hb5U&