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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the (Obsidian) Forum


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Posted (edited)

disclaimer - strong language

 

Edited by Chilloutman

I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

Posted

 


"Can anyone finish learning English? No, we are all linguistic sovereigns. You have mastered it when you start altering it to suit yourself."
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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Posted (edited)

An Irish cop sees a car driving erratically and stops it, he approaches the car as the driver rolls down the window. Looking inside, he sees an uncorked bottle of whiskey in the drivers lap a six-pack of beer on the floor and bottle of vodka on the passenger seat. The smell of alcohol was overpowering, as he addressed the Driver.

 

Cop : Sir, have you been drinking?

 

Driver : Certainly officer.

 

Cop : Would care to estimate how much alcohol you have consumed?

 

Driver : Well, I was at the office party and we had dinner, I reckon I drank a bottle of red wine, 2 brandies and a Cointreau. After the dinner I had a few gin and tonics. Then we had a raffle and I won a bottle of scotch, so I split that with my friend while we watched the show. Then when it was over we had a few tequila shots. When I left, I drove to the off licence and got a bottle of Bacardi for my girlfriend, but I just drank that, I think she's gonna kill me when I get home, so I took a few mouthfuls of this bottle of whiskey here, to calm down, then you stopped me.

 

Cop : Sir, would you mind blowing into this Breathalyser for me please?

 

Driver : Why? Do you not believe me?

Edited by Fiach
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Thanks for shopping Pawn-O-Matic!

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Posted (edited)

 

75f.png

 

Pardon the French.

Edited by Amentep
language
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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Someones been playing around with the NYC Metro ads...

 

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  • Like 6

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Posted

I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

Posted

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  • Like 1

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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