kgambit Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 kgambit, you make an interesting point about the custody taker having to bear significant costs. But this rather assumes a fair apportionment of custody. I know a LOT of dads who fight tooth and nail for contact after courts awarded custody to - and admittedly I'm biased since I know that dads - nutloop mothers. On a practical note, given that depositions are usually given by representatives, how hard would it be to anonymise the two parties? No reference to mum or dad, just 'individual X'? You rarely find an equal apportionment of custody between two parties. Once divorced the two parties frequently live far enough part that "sharing" custody is far too disruptive to the child - think along the lines of school districts, daycare, friends etc. I agree that it often means that the most suitable parent does not get primary custody, and no it isn't fair. I like the idea of anonymous determinations but judges like to see the people they award custody to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm not really sure what looking at someone achieves. They might be wearing an inappropriate dinner jacket. But they could still be a good person. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kgambit Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) I'm not really sure what looking at someone achieves. They might be wearing an inappropriate dinner jacket. But they could still be a good person. Perhaps they feel that it's their responsibility to get as much info as possible and hear from both parties. Does it always make a difference? Probably not. "inappropriate dinner jacket" ... okay that is funny ..... Edited December 11, 2013 by kgambit 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) Women should never be forced to an abortion, but I agree that men can be screwed pretty hard... Probably the best way would be - as said already - to allow the men to say nay when they find out that they are going to become a father. Still, this is problematic. This can turn into men saying nay right from the beginning, in any case, even if they might want the child / want to be the father, just to protect themself from a possible financial burden (for example, if both split up shortly after or whatever). Then you need people again who will decide if the nay-claim of the male part is valid or not... which can be really problematic and unfair. I mean, how would you want to judge that? Long time ago I was reading about a practice of birth control for men that wasn't a vasectomy and apparently works way better as well. Some stuff will be injected into the spermatic duct, which then destroys all sperm on a nano-level or something like that. It holds on for around 10 years and can be reverted at any time. Also it's said to be pretty cheap, which is the reason why we don't see much advert for it - the industry would lose a lot money if this becomes more common. This, actually, seems to me quite a reasonable method for men who do not want children yet, but might want in the future. Should check out if I can find any more information on that. Haven't read about it since years. /Edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reversible_inhibition_of_sperm_under_guidance Edited December 11, 2013 by Lexx 1 "only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orogun01 Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Women should never be forced to an abortion, but I agree that men can be screwed pretty hard... Probably the best way would be - as said already - to allow the men to say nay when they find out that they are going to become a father. Still, this is problematic. This can turn into men saying nay right from the beginning, in any case, even if they might want the child / want to be the father, just to protect themself from a possible financial burden (for example, if both split up shortly after or whatever). Then you need people again who will decide if the nay-claim of the male part is valid or not... which can be really problematic and unfair. I mean, how would you want to judge that? Long time ago I was reading about a practice of birth control for men that wasn't a vasectomy and apparently works way better as well. Some stuff will be injected into the spermatic duct, which then destroys all sperm on a nano-level or something like that. It holds on for around 10 years and can be reverted at any time. Also it's said to be pretty cheap, which is the reason why we don't see much advert for it - the industry would lose a lot money if this becomes more common. This, actually, seems to me quite a reasonable method for men who do not want children yet, but might want in the future. Should check out if I can find any more information on that. Haven't read about it since years. /Edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reversible_inhibition_of_sperm_under_guidance Apparently it is still being tested and there some risk involved. Vasectomy seems safer. I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"* *If you can't tell, it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kroney Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Still, this is problematic. This can turn into men saying nay right from the beginning, in any case, even if they might want the child / want to be the father, just to protect themself from a possible financial burden (for example, if both split up shortly after or whatever). The obvious thing would be, once they've decided not to take any legal responsibility for the child, then they forfeit any legal right to see the child at all. Dirty deeds done cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Vasectomy seems safer. Not a phrase I ever expected to see. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amentep Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) If a women cheats a man, by sabotaging the condom or something similar, there are no repercussions for her, but he is now legally bound to at a minimum financially support for the child. No repercussions other than having to live with a fetus in her womb for nine months, deliver the baby and incur any medical costs related to same, plus financially and emotionally support the child for 18+ years compared to the guy having - at minimum - financially supporting the child for 18-21 years. Seems an unusually broad (pun not intended) definition of "no repercussions". Both parties get screwed, in several respects, in this scenario. That said, you'd have a hard time proving intent in a case like this without the "condom buster" more or less admitting to it (or the busted-on-party creepily keeping each used condom 'just in case'). Edited December 11, 2013 by Amentep I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PK htiw klaw eriF Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I keep all of my used condoms preserved just in case such a situation arises, doesn't everyone? "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orogun01 Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 If a women cheats a man, by sabotaging the condom or something similar, there are no repercussions for her, but he is now legally bound to at a minimum financially support for the child. No repercussions other than having to live with a fetus in her womb for nine months, deliver the baby and incur any medical costs related to same, plus financially and emotionally support the child for 18+ years compared to the guy having - at minimum - financially supporting the child for 18-21 years. Seems an unusually broad (pun not intended) definition of "no repercussions". Both parties get screwed, in several respects, in this scenario. That said, you'd have a hard time proving intent in a case like this without the "condom buster" more or less admitting to it (or the busted-on-party creepily keeping each used condom 'just in case'). Ok, then no legal repercussions. Plus, you bring an interesting point of whether that parent is fit since it only used her child as a way to get money and had no notion of what the consequences would be. The only reason that child is better off with a neglecting parent is that the system is so ****ed up that it seems like a better alternative. I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"* *If you can't tell, it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kroney Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) I'm not really sure what looking at someone achieves. They might be wearing an inappropriate dinner jacket. But they could still be a good person. Respectfully, I disagree. If, in the unlikely event, that somebody was to wear an evening suit to a court appearance I'd say that one simple proof of unsound mind alone would preclude them from being a responsible parent. And, in fact, an excellent candidate for chemical neutering. Edited December 11, 2013 by Kroney Dirty deeds done cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I'm not really sure what looking at someone achieves. They might be wearing an inappropriate dinner jacket. But they could still be a good person. Respectfully, I disagree. If, in the unlikely event, that somebody was to wear an evening suit to a court appearance I'd say that one simple proof of unsound mind alone would preclude them from being a responsible parent. And, in fact, an excellent candidate for chemical neutering. I have it on good authority that Her Majesty's court officials often wear wigs and ornate robes. Hardly think that places them in a good position to judge sartorial elegance. "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kroney Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Au contrare, famous for judging, are judges. Practically pro level. 1 Dirty deeds done cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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