Family

[Kaftan Barlast]

My family are all Swedes, we do Swedish things like watch TV and walk the dog.

[Pidesco]

And brew alcohol from potatoes in the basement?

[mkreku]

I have somewhat dysfunctional divorced parents that I have to pay huge sums of money to be able to visit once a year (it's far up in the north where there are no airfields or train stations). I don't really like going there, but I do it because of tradition. I also go there to visit my only surviving grandparent, my grandma. I drive her around in my mom's car while she utters phrases like, "I'm so lonely, I hope I die soon" and other equally Christmas-spirit inducing little tidbits.

 

My mom has Internet and cable (with lots of channels showing NHL and porn, woo!) so I'm quite OK while I'm there. But she lives with this guy who's really cool and humble when he's sober. But if he drinks just one beer (and he does.. every time) he becomes provocative and a braggart. We fight a lot.

 

My dad lives with a much younger woman. She's actually only like two years older than my older sister.. But she treats me and my sister as if we expected her to be our new mom. I'm 34, I don't. You can't begin to understand how annoying that is. To hear, "When I was your age we didn't have snowmobiles, we only had pieces of cardboard that we could glide on in the snow, but you didn't hear us complain!" from someone who is practically your own age.. Me and my sister had a fight with her over that a couple of years back so she's toned it down a lot now. Dad has two new kids (my half-siblings) but we never really meet (except for a few hours on Christmas) so we don't know each other well.

 

So yeah, Christmas is costly and not so cheery for me. When my grandma dies I don't think I'll be going back up there anymore.

[Musopticon?]

I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

I will quote this. NOW.

 

As for my family, my parents' marriage never really worked and they've staid together mainly to pool their time and resources together for me and my sister. Both are pretty wizened and bitter at this point, but I expect the situation to ease a bit when either one decides to move away. Otherwise, it's pretty functional even though we hardly see each other. My older sister(26 yrs but retarded to 15) lives separate and I also live(mostly) quite aways from home, because my uni is long ways off(200+ km and no car) Kouvola. Dad works as an overseer in roadworks near Helsinki(the capitol), around 120 km away from our hometown, and my mom is constantly working because our area doesn't exactly have an abudance of speciality children professionals, so even if I have the time and money to come home, I don't expect to see them a lot.

 

From before I remember, I used to frequent at my friends' and some of them are like second families to me. I have rejoiced every time we bond a little better, since my best friends' parents at one time used to know me better than my actual parents(too busy being at odds to really notice me). I cherish all of them, though I doubt all of them cherish Finnish youths' drunken carousing on their roof every other year, hah.

 

Except for grandma, all my grandparents have kicked the bucket. Which is why we spent most of our occasions at grandma's. It works pretty fine. Almost all my fond Christmas memories are from my grandparents. The snow tended to come there earlier, at least that's what it seemed to my little mind back then, and it would cloak

the land in in pillowy puff before the traditional South-Eastern weather cast the growing mounds in ice and made all roadways and streets into slosh. I remember staring into the death-silent Anjalian winter night and seeing the wind topple the puffy mounds and push snow off the roof. And I'd smile.

 

 

 

Edit: If you spot the congruency between the quote and my dysfunctional family immediately, then I'm sorry for being a living cliche.

Edited November 28, 2007 by Musopticon?

[Sand]

And brew alcohol from potatoes in the basement?

That's Irish.

[Pidesco]

It's Swedish too. On account of proper alcohol being so expensive in Sweden. God bless System Bolaget.

[taks]

Now look at the ones who have wives and kids, Hurlshot, Taks. Hurlshot is a teacher, and Taks is going to invent a new super efficient semi conductor that will allow the creation microprossesors the size of atoms any day now. They both have succesful careers that are well on track and this is exactly the time to have a family.

my wife and i met after my career had already begun, 9 1/2 years ago (actually, we met a few years before that but did not "hook up" till 9 1/2 years ago). i was 3 months from my 30th birthday at the time (she's a month older than me), and she also had a career of her own (which she recently restarted and loves her new job) that was well established. granted, i had only been working a few years, but had been out of my first stint in college for 8 years by the time the hook up went down. we also waited 4 years before producing "tiny" (michele's name for john).

 

no super-efficient semiconductor from me, but thanks for the nod, hehe. radar is my thing (well, comm too, but i spend more time with radar than anything).

 

anyway, i disagree that wanting to be single is a bad thing, or a sign of immaturity, or whatever. some people just don't need it, nor are they built for it. if it weren't for michele, i probably would have stayed single as well (she's the only person that was able to tolerate me... surprise, surprise, i really am this argumentative in real life, hehe). my uncle is a 67 year old life-long bachelor (most of you guys would actually like him quite a lot, btw). yeah, there's 6 billion people on the planet, but not that many in any one personal circle, and very few if you try to narrow your search to "compatible." besides, there's nothing quite like not needing to worry about all the things that can have a major impact on a family, but are of no consequence when your dog is your only dependent. much less stress.

 

taks

Edited November 28, 2007 by taks

[LadyCrimson]

I have a feeling of moral responsbility in the sense of, say, taking care of anyone who's sick or in great need, but family in the traditional, warm and fuzzy gatherings and "close family bonds/family is forever" concept is not what I'm really about.

 

My mother used to ask me if I thought my lack of 'family' bonding was because I was adopted ... and to this day I have no idea. Perhaps.

You can't choose your family, and thus I don't generally feel an emotional predisposition to be warm and fuzzy/close etc simply because we share the same name. Once an older youth/adult, there has to be a basis/enduring foundation for that kind of closeness, just like with any other long term close friend.

[Walsingham]

I don't really know what it's like to be adopted. I do know what it's like to have a ratfink for a father. I am pretty certain having no good role models is why I can't see myself as a family man.

[WILL THE ALMIGHTY]

Back on family, every year, all the family on my mother's side get together, unlike my father's side (a less... happy story, I'm afraid)... and frankly, it feels great.

They're all great, happy and every one has a good time. Oh, and the fondue is delicious.

 

Don't know about you, but I couldn't imagine "christmas" any other way.

[LadyCrimson]

I don't really know what it's like to be adopted. I do know what it's like to have a ratfink for a father. I am pretty certain having no good role models is why I can't see myself as a family man.

I didn't have a ratfink father, but I did have an odd family dynamic w/a lot of conflict - much older siblings + disabled father + extreme lack of common interests. The latter meaning large doses of either the "nothing to say" or "you need to change/get a life" syndromes.

 

I understand the 'family thing' - I have fond memories of early holiday seasons as a kid. But I didn't retain enough of such moments to make me want it as an adult, I guess.

 

Speaking of childhood memories - one of my favorite recalls is the tradition my family had of creating a Christmas "tree" out of tumbleweed. My brother/sister and I would run around these local empty land-lots, chasing down big, round, dried out tumbleweed sections ... we'd take three and stack them up kind of like a snowman, spray it with white fleck 'snow' paint, and decorate it. They were actually very nice looking. Plus, the old-style electric-metal train-on-big-wooden-board rounded it out - we'd put the 'tree' in the middle of that. Turn on the train, watch it go round and 'choo choo' - I loved that trainset.

[Qwerty the Sir]

Well, I'm 20 and I love my family. I'm so fortunate to have them, they bring pure happiness to life. I wish everyone could have what I have and I really feel bad for the people who don't have families at all the most, orphans and such.

 

I also love kids a lot. I've watched my little cousins (9 and 7) grow up, and it was so much fun playing with them as babies, and now playing hockey and other stuff with them. It's just a sweet feeling watching a little kid do what you taught him to do, and it's also fun to let them get up 18-0 against you and then score 20 goals in a row to win the game. They're a lot of fun though, it's just great.

[Enoch]

And brew alcohol from potatoes in the basement?

That's Irish.

Huh? When's the last time you've had Irish vodka?

 

In Ireland, the potatoes are for eatin'-- the grain is for drinkin' (in the form of beer and whiskey, of course).

 

 

Speaking of family and Irish whiskey, I think I'm going to go find that bottle of Midleton my grandfather gave me for Christmas last year...

[Colrom]

I like my family and even like some of my friends and my childrens friends families who are sorta family too.

 

A small group though, since my wife and I are only children, and we only have 2 children of our own - like most folks of our generation.

 

Been married a long time and like it alot.

 

I recommend it.

[blue]

odd family dynamic

Tolstoy wrote that "All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

 

My childhood was unique. Today I am unexceptional.

[Yuusha]

I'm the eldest of three. I love my two brothers and absolutely adore my parents. I honor and cherish them like any good son should. Can't imagine what life would be like when it's time for either of them to go. Even now when I'm miles away from them with a family of my own (wife and a 1 1/2 year old son) I still communicate with them on a daily bases.

 

When I was 12, we moved to LA as my parents were pursuing their masters degree at USC. I went to school there for a while and made a lot of friends. I even had a girlfriend there. My kid brother was born there making him, at the time, a green card recipient. Man... I could've been an 'Asian American.' But after 3 years and after I've had my fill of Burger Kings, we moved back to Indonesia.

 

Unlike most of you here, I don't celebrate Christmas. My extended family gathers at least once a year during the Eid Al-Fitr after the holy month of Ramadhan. I love those family gatherings especially when my retarded uncle starts cracking his lame ass jokes. Things can get quite hilarious.

 

I love my wife and son a lot! They're my whole life. I can honestly say to you that I can wake up each morning and say: "I want nothing more." I'm 100% content with what God has given me.

 

As a closing, lemme just say that until you look into the eyes of your child, the only future you will ever care about is your own.

[Walsingham]

I'm confused. So I have a kid and I quit on my own future? That sounds bad.

[LadyCrimson]

As a closing, lemme just say that until you look into the eyes of your child, the only future you will ever care about is your own.

I somehow doubt Mother Teresa would've agreed with you.

 

I understand the emotional sentiment behind your statement, but there are plenty of examples of individuals/couples with no children who care about/sacrifice/do more for the future of all than some folks with 10 children. I even know some personally.

[Shryke]

i really have nothing for my family but apathy

 

my parents were divorced when i was like 2 and i have no memories whatsoever of my father. the only person from his side of the family i ever knew was my half sister from a previous marriage of his. she was like 25 years or so older than me, and she died when i was 12

 

my mother was completely ostracised from the rest of her family for not following their fundamentalist christian beliefs, and everytime i did see or hear from any of them, they would start trying to turn me against her. if i dared to challenge or question their opinions of her, then i was told i was clearly possessed by demons and that the devil was making me believe my mother over them

 

i have 2 sisters and 1 brother. one of my sisters moved to australia like 9 months ago, and i haven't heard from her since. my brother lives in the same city as i do, but we never really talk. i get the odd txt message from him maybe once a month. he's getting married next month, so i suppose i'll catch up with him then. my other sister lives in another part of the country with her husband and my 2 nephews (one of whom i still haven't seen)

 

i haven't seen my family together since christmas eve last year, and even then i almost didn't go. they got together at my brothers place for dinner and everything. i popped by for a couple of hours after work, but didn't stay long

 

as far as i'm concerned, to me they are like old friends that i see every so often, but am really not bothered if i don't see them

my friends are more family to me then my actual family. my current flatmate i have known for 7 years now, and he's more of a brother to me then my actual brother

[Pidesco]

I always found it rather humorous that most men worry more about getting a woman pregnant, than about spreading incurable diseases. It's like if you made a list of the worst outcomes of sex, the top 2 would be pregnancy and getting AIDS. In that order.

[Walsingham]

Well, the fact is that outside of most places and people you're much more likely to spawn babies than get/infect with HIV. But point taken.

 

I just mean that when you're young you don't want to have kids because you think there's plenty of time in your life and you want to do other stuff; whereas when you're older you realise there's no time at all, and you had better get doing the other stuff right now. In many respects it's a lot like finding time to have dentistry. You can well believe that the dentitsry is a good thing, but it's expensive, time-consuming, hard to fit into a schedule, and painful.