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Uwe Boll Kicks the crap out of critics


Calax

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If you're Lowtax or any of the other critics, you have to think "where's the upside for Boll in this?" If he wins, critics will pan his movies. If he loses, critics will pan his movies and crow that they beat him up. If the they looked at it that way, instead of as a cheap plug for their web site or blog, the light bulb might have popped on.

 

It may not have been the nicest thing to do, but his upside is the chance to hit some of his critics really hard.

 

Another thing...the event had been set up for months. If you're a movie critic and you accept Uwe Boll's invitation to fight him (which is still a manufactured PR "event," just not the kind they wanted), you need to take it upon yourself to make sure you don't get beat to a pulp. You're stepping into the ring with a semi-experienced boxer. Get some exercise or take a training course on your own, don't rely on the guy's word that he's going to provide training.

 

Chances are that guy puking and needing oxygen after the fight was a fat movie blogger. If you're out of shape, you're going to be puking after a few rounds in the ring, because it's very intense exercise. I've seen people in great shape huffing and puffing after three one-minute rounds in an amateur boxing tournament.

 

Look, I read Dr. David Thorpe and I enjoy the occasional Photoshop Phriday as much as the next guy. But Lowtax made a very bad decision here. If he knew he wouldn't be able to cut it in a fair fight, he should have stayed on the Internet and out of the ring.

 

 

Edit: annoying typo in the first sentence

Edited by Darth Drabek

baby, take off your beret

everyone's a critic and most people are DJs

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Another perspective from Somethingawful forums.
Okay I am done drinking, and I'd like to post some more info before I forget it:

  1. ...
    some unreliable stuff here
    ...
     
     
  2. Like I mentioned before, Uwe said we would get training, boxing equipment, and lessons beforehand. None of us received any of this, which didn't quite worry us at the time since he kept saying it was just a PR stunt and he wasn't really going to box for real for serious blah blah blah. NEVER trust a German. Three of the guys didn't even have cups to protect their balls; the only reason I had a cup was because my wife bought me one.
    ...

This commentary is immediately disqualified because the writer is guilty of hate-induced bigotry.

 

He's lucky he's not within my reach ...

Agreed, I hope he got the **** kicked outta him.

DENMARK!

 

It appears that I have not yet found a sig to replace the one about me not being banned... interesting.

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Well, Lowtax has always been an idiot, but he's probably less than serious here.

 

You have to remember that SA "performes" bigotry towards everything and anything.

Edited by Musopticon?
kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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It would have been fun if a magasin would have temporarily hired someone like Baas Rutten as a critic and sent him in the ring. :rolleyes:

DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself.

 

Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture.

 

"I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "

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In all seriousness, those who think this is funny sicken me. And people wonder why I have such a low opinion about the human race. Just out of curiousity, out those who think this is funny how many of you consider yourselves "christian."

Edited by Judge Hades
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Hahhhahhhaaaa!

kirottu said:
I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden.

 

It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai.

So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds

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"Sorry, Meta, but I take it very personal when someone is laughing at the suffering of another person. There are lines that you just do not cross."

 

I have a funny feeling that if it was Uwe who got the crap beat out of him and was knocked out, you'd be laughing your ehad off.

 

And, Waaaa! 17 years old. Not much of a kid, imo.

 

Anyways, I think Uwe's movies are undderrated. They're not supposed to be deep or phiosphical. And, I think it's hilarious that a bunch of review internet geeks can talk big but can never back it up.

 

GO UWE GO!

Edited by Volourn

DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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In all seriousness, those who think this is funny sicken me.  And people wonder why I have such a low opinion about the human race.  Just out of curiousity, out those who think this is funny how many of you consider yourselves "christian."

I find the stupidity of the people who actually accepted the challenge funny. Funny, but I do still consider myself Christian. Fancy that. Even though by your definition Christians are exactly the type of people who should find this funny. I guess by your logic that means I also found 9/11 hilarious.

 

Once again, your profound sense of logic simply blows us away.

 

But in all honesty, do us and yourself a favor and just stop. You have no business judging others, Christians or otherwise, and trying to place yourself on a higher moral pedestal. You hate it when people do it to you, so don't do it to others.

Edited by Dark Moth
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Personally I could give two squirts of piss as to what Boll does.

 

But if Hades is so opposed to what he's doing, maybe he should leave the internet for a while, start training with the corpse of Burgess Meredith and then shut Boll up himself. That would be a little more productive than pissing and whining like a little bitch about it.

bnwdancer9ma7pk.gif

Jaguars4ever is still alive.  No word of a lie.

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A real stand up gentleman.  Yeah.  That was really funny.  Oh yes, it was.  :rolleyes:

 

Maybe it is because I am an Iowan, or maybe because I was raised a bit diiferently from you all, but I don't see the humor in someone getting beaten up to the point that they bleeding, puking, and needing medical attention.

 

 

If Iowans are stubborn asses with no sense of humour, then I guess you can categorize yourself as that. I was referring to specifically the Lowtax fight.

 

You know, the one where Lowtax runs around, celebrates like a madman when he scores a hit, acts like he's down for the count and then springs back up like it's nothing at the 9 count.

 

So given that Lowtax's fight involved neither bleeding, nor puking, nor needing medical attention, and included an entertaining post-fight interview, I'll stand by my words that Lowtax's fight was hilarious.

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Agreed about the dead horse Kor.

 

 

And for the record Hades, I'm not a Christian. So take your stupid, self-righteous, bigotted attitude and shove it up your ass.

 

As for my apparent callousness (I smell a rant coming on), I take pride in the international aid and peacekeeping missions that my country does. Because I strongly believe that it has the capability to help ease the suffering of many people.

 

I feel so strongly about it that when someone such as you makes suggestions such as nuking the middle east as a viable solution to the problems there, as well as the staunch isolationist ideals you have, it really pisses me off. The United States is probably the most capable country of helping people, and you'd rather tuck into your turtle shell and do NOTHING. When people point out your callousness at times, you talk about how the only person you are worried about is yourself. Nothing like looking out for number one.

 

And you get to make sweeping generalizations about a sect of society you don't like. Nothing like categorizing all Christians to being monsters for finding something funny.

 

You're a bigot, and a hypocrite. If you truly gave a crap about the suffering of other people, you'd stop posting stupid nonsense so that no one would have to suffer through your inane rambling.

 

 

 

A few of your posts seemed decent enough not too long ago, so I took you off of ignore. Seems as though that was a mistake. Have a nice life Hades.

Edited by alanschu
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