Wild Card Thread

[Lucius]

[thepixiesrock]

Hey, did I ever tell you guys the Aristacrats joke?

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So a guy walks into a talent agent's office, and says he's got the best act in the world. It's a family show. So the talent agent says, "Well what's the act"? And the guy says:

<<censored by the F.C.C. PMDraken Fett for the whole joke>>

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Actually, the talent agent says, "I don't do family acts, they are too cutesy."

[metadigital]

Hey, did I ever tell you guys the Aristacrats joke?

Yes, go on, crash the censor, that should be good for a laugh.

 

Microsoft Word has the stupidest, most basic page-numbering system - I was trying to get page numbers to work on my dissertation, so that the opening part would be i, ii, iii and so on, and then the main body would start from 1, but I couldn't persuade it to do it properly. And that bloody useless paperclip - Hugh Dennis is right, no fate is too awful for the Microsoft Office paperclip!

 

Thanks, I feel better now.

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You need to:

• create different sections, one (or more) for the preface (index / whatever), i.e. the bit where you want numbering in roman lowercase;
  
• set the "File, Page Setup" option for the main section to restart numbering for the next section (you can probably do this through the normal "View header/fotter" menu option, too).
  
• You can even have different documents as sections in a master document, though Word has a lot of idiosyncracies with this process, and it is non-trivial and NOT for the faint-hearted.
  
• There is at least one config that WON'T work, and that is if you change your page layout between portrait and landscape in the middle of the document. Word just can't handle this (in earlier versions, with the paperclip, at least).
  

[Draken]

Bah, my talent agent doesn't.

[SteveThaiBinh]

I heard an American comedian on the radio saying that he thought 'The Sophisticates' was a better punchline for that joke.

[thepixiesrock]

I heard an American comedian on the radio saying that he thought 'The Sophisticates' was a better punchline for that joke.

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Well, he is wrong.

[metadigital]

Maybe you should just leave it how it is.  Don't dye it anymore.

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Not even back to black?

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Depends on length. And whether you need to attend any interviews in the meantime.

[Draken]

I heard an American comedian on the radio saying that he thought 'The Sophisticates' was a better punchline for that joke.

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Exactly why he disagreed with the punchline.

[Dark Moth]

While doing a research project on obesity in America, I wanted a picture of a "Big Gulp" cup for my powerpoint. I googled "big gulp" in the Image Search, and most were normal, except one. *shudders*

[SteveThaiBinh]

You need to:

• create different sections, one (or more) for the preface (index / whatever), i.e. the bit where you want numbering in roman lowercase;
   
  
• set the "File, Page Setup" option for the main section to restart numbering for the next section (you can probably do this through the normal "View header/fotter" menu option, too).
   
  
• You can even have different documents as sections in a master document, though Word has a lot of idiosyncracies with this process, and it is non-trivial and NOT for the faint-hearted.
   
  
• There is at least one config that WON'T work, and that is if you change your page layout between portrait and landscape in the middle of the document. Word just can't handle this (in earlier versions, with the paperclip, at least).
  

Hey, thanks!

 

You beat the paperclip any day. :D

[Draken]

While doing a research project on obesity in America, I wanted a picture of a "Big Gulp" cup for my powerpoint.  I googled "big gulp" in the Image Search, and most were normal, except one.    *shudders*

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Click here

[metadigital]

Hey, thanks!

 

You beat the paperclip any day. :D

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(17+) years of using it, as well as a few years talking execs down from jumping out of windows because of their pc troubles can do that for you.

 

If you need any more help, just ask (PM or whatever).

[Calax]

Well among other things, I used to have a streak of Red running though my hair, it went from the front right to back left...

One of the local Radio stations got in trouble a few years ago for saying that there was Hydrogen Dioxide in our water...

And I'm going to make sure I go to hell because heaven is much too boring (if they exsist)

[metadigital]

NEWS FLASH:

 

Scientist report that there is an overwelming proportion of Hydrogen Dioxide in the drinking water. Scientists were unable to confirm how long the situation had been like this, adding "Probably a very long time."

 

Sales of bottled water have quintupled in the last hours, since the announcement, which was curiously sponsored by Evian ...

[thepixiesrock]

NEWS FLASH:

 

Scientist report that there is an overwelming proportion of Hydrogen Dioxide in the drinking water. Scientists were unable to confirm how long the situation had been like this, adding "Probably a very long time."

 

Sales of bottled water have quintupled in the last hours, since the announcement, which was curiously sponsored by Evian ...

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They are just trying to watch our backs...

[Baley]

http://www.themercury.co.za/index.php?fSec...ticleId=2850592

[Dark Moth]

According to the Weekly World News, the world's oil supply will run out by the end of the year.

[thepixiesrock]

According to the Weekly World News, the world's oil supply will run out by the end of the year. 

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They said it would run out in the 70's. It didn't.

[EnderAndrew]

I like pie.

 

I hate the Yankees.

 

That is all.

[Darth Launch]

Depends on length. And whether you need to attend any interviews in the meantime.

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Just below shoulder length. I might have some interviews coming up it being my last year at uni and all... hmm... that reminds me...

 

Another completely random point... my dissertation is going to require many participants to fill in some psychometric tests... would any forum members mind participating? Bear in mind, this would probably happen just before the end of Michelmas term

 

DL

 

P.S. I wouldn't ask but we always seem to have a lack of male participants (perhaps because there seems to be more girls at uni)

[Dark Moth]

According to the Weekly World News, the world's oil supply will run out by the end of the year. 

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They said it would run out in the 70's. It didn't.

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Keep in mind, the Weekly World News is the same paper that writes articles about Bat Boy and Hillary Clinton having an affair with an alien.

[thepixiesrock]

Sign me up.

[thepixiesrock]

According to the Weekly World News, the world's oil supply will run out by the end of the year. 

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They said it would run out in the 70's. It didn't.

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Keep in mind, the Weekly World News is the same paper that writes articles about Bat Boy and Hillary Clinton having an affair with an alien.

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Oh, then I am mistaken. I thought it was an untrustworthy source. I was wrong.

[SteveThaiBinh]

...my dissertation is going to require many participants to fill in some psychometric tests... would any forum members mind participating? Bear in mind, this would probably happen just before the end of Michelmas term

Sure, no problem. Provided they're not too long. I think I did a 400-question psychometric test once.

[Darth Launch]

Sure, no problem.  Provided they're not too long.  I think I did a 400-question psychometric test once.

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They definitely won't be as long as that... I'm unwilling to subject myself to that many hours sat in front of SPSS doing factor analyses on all the items :ph34r:

 

DL

 

P.S. Thanks... I'll PM you and pixies when the time comes if that's ok?